Chaeyoung has to be aware, at all times, of men's intentions. It's something that she always forget. Even if I remind her about it, it's no use. Does she know how it makes me feel?

It's not easy to have a pretty girlfriend. Everyday routine includes deflecting nasty boys left and right, both in SNS and in physical form. Today's menu is that famous Minjoon player. I'm sorry. School Baseball player. What the heck is he doing with her?

I go to her building to pick her up for lunch and what do I see? Minjoon walking her out of her class. The blood rises in my head when he squeezes her bare arm (mind you, the upper part) ((why the heck is she wearing a sleeveless top at this weather??))

I may not know how women's minds work but I know how my own specimen do. The nerve of this guy... Doesn't he know she's off-limits?

Chaeyoung sees me leaning against the wall and it's enough for her to stop conversing with the tall senior. She sends a nervous glance at him when she sees me catching them together. One question; why?

Minjoon gives her a reassuring smile and it would've been lovely if it's not my girlfriend he's smiling at. She looks comforted anyway and leaves him to approach me.

"Uh... What are you doing here?"

Tch. She says it like I shouldn't be here. Whatever.

"It's lunch," I say, putting my arm around her waist and sends a look of warning at the tall guy behind us. Our eyes meet and he looks away first, before stalking in the opposite direction.

"Say... what's up with that senior?"

"Who? Minjoon oppa?"

Oppa?

My brow shoots up. "Oppa?"

I'm the boyfriend yet I'm not the one called oppa. If I want her to, she'd bring up that 'I'm one-month older' card. I think Chaeyoung has a blurred assertion when it comes to judgments.

She hums like it's nothing when it's starting to piss me off. "He doesn't like it when I call him sunbae because it's too formal. Plus, it's a cutie pass."

"What does a cutie pass even mean?"

"It means that cute juniors have free passes to call him oppa."

I almost scoff at that. That's something a playboy would say.

"Stay away from him."

"Why? You don't know him that well."

'Trust me. I don't have to spend a minute with him to see what's he's all about,' I want to say but I'm afraid little miss oblivious Chaeyoung here defends her opinion like a badge of honor. I can explain but it isn't my nature. Besides, she will never understand.

"Just stay away from him. He's bad news."

🔅🔆🔅

Two things have been bothering me lately. One, Chaeyoung's on her phone a lot and; two, that Minjoon guy.

It may not be obvious but guys have instincts too. We aren't that oblivious as much as society's portraying us to be. Right now, that same instinct is telling me something's off and as much as I tell myself that it's Chaeyoung's personality to be unaware about men's intentions, I get scared with the thought that maybe, she knows after all. Surely, she's not like that, is she?

Chaeyoung nudges my side, tofu dangling between her chopsticks. "You aren't eating your food?"

She eats like me—like she needs to feed another living thing inside her—and I get jealous how she can eat when I'm out here losing the energy to do that.

Before I can say anything, the phone sitting beside her bowl beeps. She picks it up. Must be something funny since she's giggling now.

I frown. She's replying in an instant and I have a suspicion who's it from. "What is it?"

"Nothing," she replies absentmindedly.

A lot of things are wrong when she says it's nothing when clearly, it's something.

1. She's getting teased.

2. It's from that Minjoon prick.

3. She's getting teased by that Minjoon prick.

Damn. I hate getting mad over this.

I try leaning close and I swear I saw 'Minjoon Oppa' saved as the contact name with hearts beside it. She moves the screen away but it's already too late.

The warning bells go off in my head. Do you know what I'm saved as? Goo Junhoe. Without a heart, without frills or even anything. Just bland and simple Goo Junhoe. If someone who doesn't know me goes through her contacts list, they'd probably think Minjoon's her boyfriend, not me.

"Whose it from?"

She sticks her tongue out. Cute but not when I'm annoyed. "Nothing that concerns you."

"Eat your food first."

She pouts and I almost let her win. Almost.

"Fine."

When she puts down the phone to continue eating, it pings again after a second. The screen flashes, my sight going over the nickname, as it shows Minjoon Oppa with all the hearts on it sending a message.

Frowning for the nth time today, I say, "I see you're chatting with Minjoon." She tenses up more and keeps the phone out of my sight. I narrow my eyes at her. "Why is his contact saved like that?" Why in hell's name are you chatting with him?

"Oh, that? Minjoon oppa changed it himself."

She needs to stop calling him that. It's annoying.

"And I'm only saved as Goo Junhoe?" You're showing affection to someone else other than me. I hate it.

"What? I thought you don't like emoticons in your name?"

I fold my arms and grumble, "Well, I don't now." Stop talking to him.

"Fine. I'll change it now." She presses some buttons on her screen before shoving it in front of my face. 'My Handsome Boyfriend' is registered under my number with a heart at the end. The title's true but the other guy has more hearts than me. Unfair. "Happy?"

No, I'm not happy. Someone's snatching you away from me. Do you think I'm happy?

I grab a spoonful of my soft tofu stew so it fills my mouth. It'll help me avoid the question because if I don't stop myself, I'll probably say something I regret, like,  'You're thinking of replacing me, are you?' and it'll just lead to us fighting. I have my suspicion but until proven wrong, I'll keep my mouth shut. At least for now.

🔅🔆🔅

During a duration of a week, my suspicion that Chaeyoung's doing something behind my back grows. When she answers my call, it's, "What?" with annoyance in her tone, like she doesn't want me to call at all. I tell her this before. It gives me the impression that she doesn't want to talk to me when she does that. I'd shrug it off and think that it must be because she's tired. I'd then go ahead and ask her how's her day but she'll reply with, "Tomorrow, Junhoe. I'm tired. Goodnight," said in frequency I wonder if I did something wrong for her to treat me cold like this.

Just to be clear, I didn't. And that's saying in a sense that I'm not talking to other girls or cheating behind her back. Is it her time of the month? Or maybe she dreamt of me cheating with another woman again (it was an ugly fight the first time. I didn't even do anything! How can I think of doing that when I'm happy with her? Such a crazy woman...)

A locker slams in front of me and it snaps me out of my thoughts. I send a dirty look at Donghyun who doesn't see since his back is facing me.

"This is why he's not hanging out with us anymore. He's too busy with that Chaeyoung chick."

My ears perk up. There may be a lot of Chaeyoung here but when it's coming from Minjoon's group of friends, I know it's something. Minjoon belongs in that crowd. You know, one of his likes. Use their looks to charm everybody, probably get laid two or three times a week or maybe even more. I mean, I don't know. I don't live their life.

Two of his friends are in my physical education class. It's after I change into my fresh set of clothes that I hear Won mentioning Chaeyoung. He's at the bench in the middle of the lockers, scrolling through his phone, all dressed up in his usual white shirt over his varsity jacket and pants. Donghyun's in front of his locker, still shirtless but in the middle of wearing his ripped jeans.

Donghyun grins and messily buttons his jeans. He goes over Won as he gives him the phone. Then he grins more. "Man. I think he's gonna score. Look how smug the bastard is."

My locker's beside Donghyun so I catch a glimpse of what he's looking at his phone. I see Minjoon smiling like a proud bastard he is, then a sleeping woman on his shoulder.

Wait a minute... That's... My hands curl to fists. What the hell...?

I gather my things and leave the gymnasium in a hurry. I sense the two looking at my trail but I don't give a rat's if they sense I'm the boyfriend of the girl they're talking about, or if they know she's taken at all.

Water drips from my hair to my neck, shoulders, shirt, just everywhere and it's uncomfortable as hell. With a brush of my hand, I shake it off, my mind focused on one thing; see Chaeyoung. Her ten A.M. class is in building 303, opposite of the gymnasium. It's quite a distance, usually takes me ten minutes or so to cross two buildings, and maybe it's the adrenaline kicking in that I arrive in under five.

It doesn't take a second to see where she is. I know the exact hue of her brownish hair, know how light it looks when the sun filters through the windows, knows the shape of her figure from behind and I know the girl leaning her head on another man's shoulder is my girlfriend.

Fatigue hits my lungs, my throat feels like ing Sahara and this is what I see? I want to hurl my gym bag at someone and it's taking all the restraints in my body not to.

'I'm mature now', I say like a mantra in my head. Mature people don't do that. But it doesn't prevent me from imagining about it.

Chaeyoung flinches from her sleep and it makes him stop and stare. He quirks a grin as she relaxes her body onto him, like it already feels like home, like how it is when she's with me. He raises a hand, doesn't hesitate for even a second, to caress her hair. With a scene like that, it looks romantic.

Bastard. Don't you touch her.

My grip on the strap tighten until my fingers start to hurt. Scenarios play in my head, all involving Minjoon's face black and blue. I close my eyes shut and try to make those thoughts disappear. This isn't the time, Goo Junhoe. But... Damn it. I want to break his pretty face with my fists. I flex and unflex my hands, hoping that it'll restrain the anger I'm feeling inside. If I don't, I'll find myself punching that guy.

Calm down, my mind says, but I can't. I can feel my blood pressure rising, my lungs short of breath. I can't differentiate if it's because I ran or what I'm seeing, so I turn around and lean on the wall. I try to take deep breaths but damn it, it isn't helping. I'm so mad at the other guy, mostly Chaeyoung because what the hell? Her naivety has to reach a point somehow. I don't know it reached to this. Do I have to remind her every time?

There's a pain in my head and I know it will not go away for a while. I throw another glance at the couple again. Chaeyoung's still unmoving, too comfortable with another's presence. I don't know what to feel right now honestly. How can she do this to me?

Ah. To hell with it Minjoon's not worth my time. I'm out of here.

🔅🔆🔅

A day passes by and Chaeyoung doesn't even notice I didn't call her last night. Maybe she's too busy flirting with that Minjoon guy to care. Just thinking about them together... it makes my chest burn so much it's starting to hurt, like what heartaches are meant to do.

Something's ringing and it takes me a second to realize it's my phone. Rustling through the sheets, I grab it off the bedside table. A piece of me hopes that it's Chaeyoung, calling to ask why I didn't call her. But that's only wishful thinking.

'Yeri,' the caller ID reads. With a grunt, I press the green button. Not exactly the person I want to talk to right now but I'm afraid she'll pester me with more missed calls if I do that the first time.

"What's up?"

"Guess what?" she replies with her usual cheerful tone.

"What?"

"I'm visiting Seoul!"

"What?" I say again, not because I'm asking but because of disbelief. I sit cross-legged on the bed. It's been years since I last saw Yeri so it comes off as a surprise that she's suddenly visiting us.

"Hey! You say it like you don't want me at all!"

"No... it's not. But it's all of a sudden so I'm..."

"Surprised? Sorry about that. You see... I made the decision to find my parents once and for all. I'm afraid of what you'll think of me since everyone's treating me so well that I—"

"Are you kidding? That's great news. What did your parents say?"

I can hear her take a puff of air. "They're taking it good. So far so good. Since I'm going to Seoul anyway, might as well drop by at yours for a visit."

"I'll tell mom."

"Okay. Oh! Bring your girlfriend with you. You promised you'd introduce her to me."

I go silent for a while. Should I tell her? I shake my head at that thought. Even though Yeri's the closest cousin I have, she's unreliable. She can tell my mom about it. It's a lot complicated than I thought and the only way out is to say, "Okay," even though it's not something I want to do at all. But a promise's a promise.

"Great! See you on Saturday!"

The line's already dead and I let myself groan. Throwing the phone back to the bedside table, I fall back on the bed, wishing that Saturday comes by so slow or never at all.

🔅🔆🔅

It's time to set my worries with Chaeyoung aside since I'm faced with the best mind-readers in the world; mom and Yeri. Mom knows it when something's bugging me and with Yeri, I don't know how she does it but she has the ability to see through me. Or maybe I'm just that easy to read. Why isn't it easy with Chaeyoung though?

I feel her hesitation in meeting my cousin. She's afraid of what people think, especially if it's someone important to her. Yeri's family, so it's that. I remember her so nervous about meeting my parents for the first time that she wanted to back out at the last minute. She planned out her make-up, what she'll wear, even her mannerisms, weeks before. By the time D-DAY came, she was sweating so much I thought it was summer. But as expected of her, she killed it. Mom immediately liked her and even though dad wasn't outspoken with things like this, I knew he approved of us.

Now Yeri... well, it's safe to say that I'm more concerned of what Chaeyoung will think of me than Yeri's opinion of her. My cousin's the exact definition of youth. I'm afraid she'll scare off Chaeyoung at some point, and I was right. The moment she saw my girlfriend, she managed to say more than a hundred words in a span of a minute.

Under the pretense that I'm hugging her, I whisper, "Stop being weird. You'll scare her."

Yeri's someone like a younger sister I never had. A lot of people don't know about this but when I was younger, I begged mom and dad every single Christmas to let me have a younger sister. Other guys my age would've wanted a younger brother but when Lee Chanhyuk, our neighbor and playmate at the end of the block, had a sibling, I was so envious I wanted one too. Plus, he looked mature doing it. I was always scolded for being unruly and saw it as a chance to act 'mature' for once.

The sibling never arrived. But Yeri was sent to come live with us during high school so she sort of became like one. We'd always tease each other and honestly, I don't see her as a girl. She gives me reasons to wrestle her and most of the time, I lose. Tch. She's a girl, okay?

Right now, she's giving me another reason to fight her by claiming that I was ugly in middle school. See, it all started when we're watching an afternoon show displaying celebrities' past photos. She offhandedly comments that if I ever become a celebrity, all they'd show are ugly pictures of me.

I roll my eyes. "I look great, even in middle school."

"Nobody looks great in middle school, oppa. I remember you even had that bowl cut!"

"I do not."

"Yes, you do."

"Do not."

"You do."

"Do not!"

"Yes do!"

"Urgh," I grunt. "Mom! Where's my middle school pictures?" I get off from the couch to find mom, only to see her with Chaeyoung in the kitchen having that same old argument on who gets to wash the dishes. It's endearing but right now, I have a reputation at stake here. "Let Chaeyoung handle it. You have to show Yeri my middle school pictures!"

"But son, I—"

I don't let her finish her sentence anymore since she'll end up helping my girlfriend anyway, right after we find those albums. Mom has a pretty messed-up system on where she keeps our things so she couldn't find the albums at first. Before I can say, 'Forget about it,' she disappeared to who knows where.

Yeri and I share a look.

"Oppa," she calls. Seeing her face all serious is a rarity, I'd like to say, since it's wrinkled from smiling too much. She beckons me to come over to her place at the couch and I follow.

"Oppa," she repeats again. "Maybe it's just me, but don't you think you're not paying attention to your girlfriend much?"

I stay silent for a while. It hasn't occurred to me until she pointed it out.

"Really?"

She rolls her eyes. A Goo Junhoe trait. Definitely a Goo. "I want to meet her too but it looks like you're keeping her away from me. Are you afraid I'll expose your deepest secrets?"

"Secrets, my . I can exploit you more with your boyfriend if I want to."

Yeri rolls her eyes again. "Whatever." Something changes in her expression, one that I don't like. "You're in a silent feud with her, are you?"

Bullseye.

"Okay..." she prolongs the word, keeping her tone steady, as if telling me she understands. "So what's the problem?"

"It's..." I sigh. And maybe it's because it's Yeri that I find the words spilling out of my mouth before I can stop myself.

My cousin's nodding the whole time. After I finish my story, I feel light. That's somehow a consolation.

"Did you talk to her about it?"

"No."

"Well, it wouldn't hurt you. What are you so afraid of?"

It's a question that hits close to home. What am I so afraid of? With Chaeyoung, I'm afraid of a lot of things. I'm afraid of her leaving me behind, afraid to confirm that everything's all true and she's really going behind my back with another guy. Most of all, I'm afraid that she doesn't love me anymore.

There's a sudden stillness surrounding the both of us. Whether Yeri knew I was lost in my own thoughts, she didn't let me know. Without saying anything, I get up from the couch and lean on the wall of the kitchen, watching my girlfriend wash the dishes. It's always a sight to see because it reminds me of a future, of her and me in a house we'd call our own and it hits me hard how much I want her to stick around. It's tempting, but I just want to hug her from behind.

"Waah! Auntie! That's so many!" I hear Yeri say. I lean off the wall and walk back the living room where mom's placing a pile of familiar photo albums. Yeri picks up from the top pile and opens it. She's greeted by the dust, making her cough. She gets easily bothered by dust so it makes sense that she gets up from the couch, passes by me to go to the kitchen, just to wash her hands.

I shake my head. That kid. While waiting for her, I search for my middle school period, brushing away dirt that fills up the clear plastic sheet, and admire my teenager self. Even if other people tell me otherwise, I'm cute as hell even when I was in the awkward puberty stage. That's something you cannot fake.

Yeri comes back after a while. She sits on my left while mom sits on the armrest on the right. I feel mom's hand on my shoulder as I show my middle school pictures. My cousin crinkles her nose, telling me she's unconvinced.

"Yeah. You still look ugly."

Damn it. "Mom!" I complain, to which, she just chuckled.

"Kids..." she mumbles.

Yeri picks up another album from the pile, a relatively new one. When she opens it, I realize it's my recent college pictures. Flipping for two more pages, she stops and points at a picture. "Oh! It's your girlfriend. When was this?"

I lean closer. "Hm... it was late September, a friend's party."

In the picture, my friends, Chaeyoung, and I, along with some seniors, were all compressed behind a long table, posing for the camera with silly faces. Party balloons were stuck behind the wall, some holding it, while we all wore Mickey Mouse hats (it was Hanbin's idea, actually insisted and went under the pretense that it's so that hyung can feel like a kid again).

Jinwoo hyung's birthday party... A smile went up without control. Chaeyoung and I just started dating and I remembered it was also the day when we first fought. That girl can't control her expression well when she's around Jinwoo hyung. Me, still insecure about how I can't ever match her ideal type, and also part childish, decided it was a good idea to give her the silent treatment. So she did something about it.

I was taking her home after the party and she was bugging to tell me what was wrong along the way. It went on until we were infront of their apartment complex. I remembered the shy look painted across her face, her cheeks colouring pink, maybe because of the autumn heat or because of an entirely different reason, I wouldn't know. But I also remembered she looked beautiful that night.

"I don't know what's on your mind right now but..." She took me by surprise when she leaned closer so that her soft lips landed on my cheek. "Goodnight."

The spot felt tingly when her lips left my skin. Even when she ran off inside the complex, it was as if she never left, her scent a reminder that what happened was real. Boy did my heart beat like crazy. I smiled like a lunatic all the way back home people looked at me weird. But I didn't care. It was a day for firsts and that day was the day when she first kissed me.

I woke up from that reverie when I heard laughter, coming from the two women with me. The picture album already moved on pages ago and mom was in the middle of a story of how I sprained an ankle three days before Christmas. I looked at the turned page in the album sitting on Yeri's lap. Why in hell's name did we have a picture of it?

Mom's embarrassing me again (like she'd always do with my girlfriend whenever my photos are involved) so I snatch the album from Yeri and flip to the next page. The conversation shifts to another—thankfully—when I tell my cousin stories about everything she missed out on. The greatest memories are with Chaeyoung, I realize. Each picture takes me back to what we were before and I don't know, I think pictures have the ability to wake up emotions you had before. It's a good feeling.

In the middle of me retelling about the story of how my friends got Chaeyoung in trouble in time for White Day, I felt a stinging pain in my ear.

"This is your fault. Even if Chaeyoung's your girlfriend, she's still our guest!"

"Mom!"

"This kid... did you send her here just to be our maid? Introduce her properly to your cousin!"

Mom lets go of my ear, sending me off with a final glare. Sheesh... I thought she'd help her though... She takes her leave to assist dad for his afternoon nap. Yeri then made a ruckus because of a spider and I got scared because it was Chaeyoung who killed it. Last time I checked, she's a lover of anything that's alive and that includes those big- scary spiders. She doesn't even let me kill ants.

"I have to get going. It's getting late."

That surprised me. I was just gonna introduce her to my cousin and she's leaving? "Right now? But it's only three hours since you got here."

"I'd love to stay more but I have to go now. Dad will go home early today." She turns to Yeri. "It's nice to meet you."

It may look like a normal excuse but I know her. Something's wrong. It's written all over her body.

"Wait. I'll take you home," I offer, rising up from the couch.

Chaeyoung fetches her bag. "There's no need."

That's a bad sign... "Don't be silly. Yeri, I'll just send her home."

When we went out of the house, I attempted to hold her hand but she acted like she didn't see. I couldn't resist asking, "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing."

"I know it's not nothing."

"You figure it out," she replied as if she's tired of talking to me, as if my mere presence is causing her pain.

To say that I'm surprised is an understatement. What is it that annoyed her so much? Is it because I let her wash the dishes alone? But that's too petty for her to be acting like this.

Then I see it in her eyes. She's giving up. Of what?

"You go do what you want. I'm going home."

She turns to leave. Wait. She can't leave right now, not when she's obviously annoyed at something I did. So I follow after her. "You aren't going home until we sort this thing out."

Now there's exhaustion mirroring in her features. I'm frustrated by the second. What's up with her? "It's really nothing. Don't think much about it, okay?"

The past week flashes in my mind. Is she... Is she thinking of leaving me? This is what it's about, is it?

I grab her arm since she's leaving again. "Chaeyoung. Is this about...?" Minjoon? I want to say but stopped myself before I can continue. Maybe it's not the day for me to hear her excuses today. "Nevermind."

I act aloof because it's the only thing I can do to mask my emotions. I'm not good at controlling my expressions well and I'm afraid Chaeyoung will see through me. If today's not a good day for her, it's not for me either.

Letting her go, I say, "I assume you can go home by yourself?"

She just nods.

"Then take care."

And without ever looking back, I walk away from her. It's too late when I realize it's a mistake.

🔅🔆🔅

It's a bad idea to fight with Chaeyoung, and even more stupid at the day before my birthday. Now I'm cruising on my day pissed off and probably soon girlfriend-less. I text her she can come if she wants to but I don't think she's up with that idea either. My friends notice this but they don't ask what's wrong aloud. I know they don't want to ruin this day for me.

We ate out at a popular restaurant and it's good, I get to take my mind off things for a while. After eating, Mino hyung invited us to go drinking at a bar he knew. I wanted to refuse because I'm not in the mood but then he said it's on him. It's a double celebration since it was also his birthday yesterday (that I didn't get to attend because I had to meet Yeri).

Speaking of Yeri, she couldn't come to my birthday. She's already scheduled to leave Gwangju to where her biological parents are presumed to be living at. She did remember to give me something though. Toiletries. Nice.

Frankly, I think she forgot and when I invited her to come, she thought of it as a last-minute gift. So much for being my closest cousin...

People haven't started filling up the bar Mino hyung took us to. How can it be when it's just seven in the evening? It has a chill vibe with black walls, relying on yellow pin lights to light the place. When Mino hyung cooly did that handshake thing with the person behind the bar, I presumed he was close with him. Turns out bartender's the owner too.

I'll never know what's with me and alcohol, but I presumed that when I'm feeling down, it becomes my best friend. After Chanwoo filled my glass with soju for the nth time, things start getting blurry. They say that when I get drunk, I have the habit of crying and blabbering at the same time. I don't have the ability to confirm that part.

I didn't know when my friends started to disperse, or when the bar grew too quiet and the world's spinning and everything hurts. Yunhyeong retrieves something from my pocket in the midst of this.

"Chaeyoung?" I hear him say but I'm too wasted to check it out. I'm too busy face planting on the cold glass table. It's not the softest pillow around but it'll do.

"Yeah. Uhm... It's Yunhyeong. Can you come here for a bit? Well uh... how should I say this... Junhoe's too drunk to go home by himself and I have to take care of Hanbin and Donghyuk since they vomitted. I know I know. It's... goodness Chaeyoung, it's a hell hole. I'll never go drinking with these guys again..."

It has been a black out after that. It felt like forever when I woke up though.

Someone's tapping my shoulder. "Junhoe..."

Alcohol flushes out of my system the moment I hear that angelic voice. It can only belong to one person. Confirming my suspicion, I raise my head and come face to face with an angel. Okay, a pissed off angel looking like I did the worst thing in my life but I can deal with that. "Chaeyoung?"

"Let's go home," she simply says.

"No..." I'm done going home. I just want to see her. So so bad... I'm already holding her wrist to prevent her from going anywhere. "Don't leave. Not yet..."

"Junhoe." Now her tone's telling me she's getting impatient.

"...Are you starting to hate me?" I mutter.

It must've struck her odd because I see her looking in my eyes the first time. There's worry lining her features but it disappears for a while, her gaze hardening at the sight of me. I understand. I mean, I'm a wreck right now. That doesn't entitle me on much.

"You're drunk. You need to go home," she reminds and I get the sense that she's saying that more to herself than to me.

"You hate me, do you?" My eyes start to fill with tears and I know I look stupid right now, but my intoxicated state is dulling my sense of rationality. Understand that my dignity is thrown out of the window at the moment. Yeah, I'm a stupid drunk, I know.

I hate myself. I can't control me when I'm like this. I don't want to look vulnerable in front of Chaeyoung. She'll think I'm insane... and unmanly.

I thought she'll persuade me to leave again but then she didn't. "Why would you think like that?"

My thumb draws gentle circles on her wrist. I'm just thankful she's not flinching from my touch. "You've been busy recently. You didn't even wonder why I stopped calling all of a sudden. You do. You always do... But I guess you're too busy with Minjoon to care about me..."

She sighs. "Junhoe..." She takes the seat beside me and it untangles my hold on her. "Is it why you treated me bad yesterday? Because of him?"

In my sober state, I would've said no, would've argued that I didn't treat her bad at all. But heck. I'm in no mood for that. I nod immediately.

"Oh Junhoe..." Chaeyoung fetches something from her bag, then hands it down to me. It's a medium-sized box wrapped in red with a silver bow on top of it. I accept the item with shaky hands, partly because she thought of my birthday and partly because she carried it here despite us in a middle of a fight. And also partly because I'm drunk. Mostly because I'm drunk.

Opening it, I see a jacket inside. I pick it up and see that it's a green bomber jacket with all kinds of cool patches in it. The words written at the back takes the cake. Awesome Junhoe. I smile like a little kid. Imagine me wearing it at the uni. People will get envious of me, I say.

When the jacket's out of the box, I see it's not the only thing she's giving me. "I'm with Minjoon oppa lately because I asked a favor..." she starts while I slowly take the framed painting out of the box. It's an image of me showing a genuine smile. But it doesn't look like I'm aware of it. I stare awed. I know Chaeyoung loves to draw but I wasn't aware of the full extent of her talent until now. It's something that sobers me up a bit. "You know he's a fine arts major, right? I had to borrow some tools from him but he says I can only borrow it if I'm with him when I use it..."

My fingers gingerly trace the soft outlines of my face. The first thing that passes through my mind is, 'Wow... I look good on canvas...'

Either that or it's because of Chaeyoung's skill that everything she touches turns to gold. Even me, who once thought that he didn't have the capability to be one.

I look at the painting like it's daring me to stare longer. That's saying something in my drunken state. I don't know, maybe I'm captivated by the vivid colors, how it blends with one another, every brush ... I can feel her affection with this, how she clearly put her all in it, and it's all these things that pushes me to really cry. Stupid alcohol... Why the heck am I emotional all of a sudden? I gather her in my arms before she can see.

I want to scold Chaeyoung by telling her that her oppa is using the 'I have to be with you' card as an excuse to be alone with her. But when she hugs me back, I have a feeling she knows that too.

"I'm sorry," she says softly in my ears. "I'm sorry for hurting your feelings, for making you think I'm cheating on you... I'm really sorry."

I kiss the top of her head. "I'm sorry too for, you know, yesterday and... thank you. I really love it. I really do."

Chaeyoung relaxes under my arms and I can feel her worries subside a bit. "Are we okay now?"

I chuckle with that. She has the habit of asking me that whenever we fight. "Yes... yes, Chaeyoung. We're okay now."

Silence comforts the both of us. I want the night to stay like this forever and it because I'm drunk. But that's okay. At least Chaeyoung's here with me. That's enough.

After a while, I hear her whisper, "Happy birthday, Junhoe."

I steal a kiss from her cheek and it reminds me of the feelings of when she first did this with me. "Indeed. Happy birthday to me..."

As I age a year older and a year wiser, I realize that I have everything I need after all.

~🔅tbc