Chaeyoung had wanted to stop somewhere, just somewhere as what she had said and Jungkook did pull the car over on the side of the street. He didn’t know what had caused it but she looked like she was so angered at the world. When he saw her walking out so fast towards a cab, not even realizing that he was around, he had decided that maybe he should offer her ride to his friend’s workshop and perhaps take the time to talk about things he wanted to say to her because he doubted she’d make time for him.

But when Jungkook’s eyes landed on the furious face of her, he suddenly felt concern and he didn’t know if it was possible or if it even made sense to say that he could feel that her insides were broken. He had known about it but it was the first time he truly felt it. Her face said it all.

He hadn’t expected her to accept his offer and he thought it’d be fine but when she wanted him to pull over, he was worried that she’d get out of his car and wander off somewhere. Though that didn’t seem like her at all, it would be possible.

He looked at her with concern. “Are you all right?”

She was silent for a moment. “No.”

Jungkook his lips briefly and turned around, his arm reaching out at a water bottle from the plastic bag sitting at the backseat. He looked at her again, twisted the bottle cap to open it and handed it to her. She hesitated for a moment, throwing a glance at it and Jungkook knew that right then, he had to drop everything that was holding him back from acting like how he used to around her. If he didn’t make a move, if he had to let the ego wrap around him completely, things wouldn’t get better between them.

“Here,” he pushed it forward towards her, used his free hand to take hers, urging her to hold the bottle. He found himself smiling a little when she finally drank it although it was only a gulp. He let her took the time to breathe out loud before she took the water bottle to again, downing a few gulps before she stopped. He was worried that his next question would do the opposite of making her feel better but it wouldn’t hurt to try. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Chaeyoung was silent again and he waited until she was ready to speak. A few cars had passed them and it took her another gulp of water before she finally decided to unmute herself.

“I don’t think I’ll have another free time so whatever you want to say, please say them all now.” Her tone was calmer and her voice was softer than the first time she had said a word to him on that day.

Just like before, Jungkook didn’t know where and how to start. He knew it when he was with his friends, he knew exactly what he would say to her when he was at work but now that she was here next to him, giving him all the time she had, Jungkook lost all words.

“It’s not the right time,” Jungkook told her.

Chaeyoung sighed beside him. “Why? I told you I have no other time to spend on you other than today.”

“Look at you,” he glanced at her briefly and looked back to the road as more cars passed, “I don’t want to pressure you. I don’t know what happened to you earlier but I sure as hell don’t want to piss you off even more.”

He felt her turning to face him for a brief moment before she scoffed softly. “I’d prefer it to be today. I don’t want to spend a lot of days getting angry. It’s tiring. So if I have to be pissed for this whole day and only today, and that tomorrow and the days that come next would be better, I’d love it.”

“Chaeyoung…”

“What do you want to talk about, Jungkook?” she turned to him completely and Jungkook’s grip on the steering wheel tightened when he saw how her beautiful face had been tainted with sadness that started because of him.

Not wanting to make her even mad for not complying with her demand, Jungkook finally relented. He tried to find the best way to start it but Yoongi had once told him that at times like this, forming the best sentence and finding the best word to make the best start would be completely useless. This was no essay. He just needed to go for it. If she wanted him to start from the beginning, then the beginning would be the start of this talk.

“I never meant to anger you in the first place, although I knew and I realized I was bothering you. I was self-centered.” He went silent for a minute, felt a little pressure in his chest when she stiffened in her seat, not doing anything, not saying anything. “I won’t lie to you, I’m still mad over that incident in the club, but if you want the honest truth, I am not mad at you anymore I swear. I’m mad at him.”

He caught a glimpse of her fingers clasped and unclasped the bottle in her hands, her head finally turning away to look out the window.

“I’m not going to defend myself, Chaeyoung,” he continued, “I accused you of a lot of things. I didn’t check beforehand. I attacked you right away. I was consumed by anger. You don’t need to but I honestly hope you understand that sometimes, anger makes people do the stupidest things. Things that we would regret sooner and maybe forever.”

Funny how just moments ago he was nothing but a mute when given a chance to talk. And now when he finally began, the words wouldn’t stop flowing out of his mouth. Even those words that he never thought he’d say.

All we need is to begin for the action to have some ending, some closure.

“I know, given that the situation we’re in right now, it would be hard and it would even be impossible for you to forgive me for what I’ve done, for what I’ve said. But I’m serious and I sincerely apologize.”

Sorry now held lesser strength compared to before when people didn’t throw the word around like it meant nothing. Even a thousand sorry didn’t seem enough for whatever wrongs someone might have done.

Jungkook braved himself to turn his head to completely face her even if she refused to look him in the eyes. “I know this is the most cliché thing and maybe to you it may sound exaggerating but I mean it, Chaeyoung. If I could turn back the time, I’d use all my might to not repeat the same mistake.”

He knew that later in his life he’d cringe at his words but it didn’t occur to him how it would embarrass him at the moment when he awkwardly told her even more stuff that he had never thought of saying. “I know things are not going to be like how it used to be, that’s just impossible. But I hope that… if we were to go our separate ways, I don’t want a wall to make us complete strangers. I won’t force you but if you ever need me as your friend, just a friend, even if it’s not a close friend but just that friend, I’ll be that friend.”

She inhaled so much and held her breath for a long time before exhaling heavily. Her eyes on her lap, her thumb and index finger flicking each other and her lips parted just to make way for her tongue to slip out and wet her bottom lip.

“Do you know what my thoughts are regarding all of these?” she asked softly and he felt that familiar longing feeling in him. “I felt like it was all because of how rushed we had been.”

Jungkook knew what she meant by that. They hadn’t known each other for long and they had kissed and made love and didn’t see that as a one-time thing, they began to regard each other as partners instead. Both hadn’t experience such thing, she had mentioned it before and he had assured her that they could learn about each other more as time went by.

“I know,” Jungkook said bitterly. “But it worked for some other people.”

“We’re not them, I guess,” she said, finally looking at him. “We’re not suitable for that kind of thing. It worked for others but it didn’t for us. It was proven true anyway.”

He might have said that it would be alright if she chose to part ways eventually even after this talk, but now that she was saying all these, her tone alone telling him she had no intention to try to make it work again for them, it made him panic, it made him want to beg and it even made him willing to go on his knees in front of her.

“I know I don’t deserve it, but I…” he swallowed hard. “I beg for a second chance.”

She looked at him, surprised expression vivid on her countenance.

“Please,” Jungkook pleaded, almost whispering. The care he had for his face begging like this had long gone. Everyone would say that he was pathetic fo