Jimin

I hold him against me for so long I’m not even sure if he’s awake. I still have so much I want to say to him, but I don’t want to move. I love the way he feels when we’re wrapped together like this. I’m afraid if I move; he’ll come to his senses again and ask me to leave.

It’s barely been three weeks since Yoongi and I broke up. When Jungkook asked if I’d take Yoongi back, I didn’t answer, but only because I know he wouldn’t believe my answer.

I love Yoongi, but I honestly don’t Yoongi and I are best for each other anymore. I know exactly where we went wrong. The beginning of our relationship was romantic to the point where it was almost fictionalized. We were nineteen years old. We barely knew each other. The way we waited for an entire year only built up feelings that weren’t based on anything except false hopes and idealized love.

By the time Yoongi and I were finally able to be together, I think we were more in love with the idea of us, rather than with the actual us. Of course, I loved him. I still love him. But until I met Jungkook, I had no idea how much my love for Yoongi was built up from my desire to swoop in and save him.

Yoongi was right. I’ve done nothing for the past five years but try to be the hero who protects him. The problem? Heroines don’t need protecting.

When Jungkook put me on the spot earlier, I wanted to tell him no, that I wouldn’t take Yoongi back. When he said he was terrified that I was wishing he were Yoongi, I wanted to grab hold of him and probe to him how I’ve never, not once, wished I were anywhere else when I’m with him. I wanted to tell him the only regret I have is not realizing sooner which one o