Jungkook

He’s not looking at me. He doesn’t even know I’m not singing the lyrics. I can’t sing them. I’ve listened to him play this song dozens of times from his balcony, yet it never held emotion or meaning until this moment.

The fact that he can’t even look at me makes the song feel way too personal. It feels as if this song somehow just became his song to me. I turn the notebook over, not wanting to read the words anymore. This song is just one more thing that never should have happened, even though I’m positive it’s my new favorite.

Me: Do you think Jiyong can make a rough cut of this one? I want to hear it.

I nudge him with my foot after I send the text, tehn nod toward his phone when he looks at me. He pics it up to read the text and nods. He doesn’t reply or make eye contact with me, though. I glance back down to my phone as the room grows quiet in the absence of the sound of his guitar. I don’t like how awkard things just got between us, so I attempt to make small talk to fill the void. I roll onto my back and type out a question that’s been on my mind for a while to break up the stillness around us.

Me: Why don’t you ever practice on your balcony like you used to?

This question gets me immediate eye contact from him, but it doesn’t last. His eyes flicker across my face, down my body, and finally back to his phone.

Jimin: Why would I? You’re not out there anymore.

And just like that, my defenses are down, and my willpower is shot to hell with this honest reply. I nervously pull my bottom lip in and chew on it, then slowly raise my eyes back to his. He’s looking at me as if he wishes he were a guy like Hoseok who cared only about himself.

He’s not the only one whishing that.

I want to be Taehyung right now so much it hurts. I want to be just like him and not give a about my self-respect or abo