It is past 2 in the morning when Kihyun decides that, no, he won't be able to fall asleep that soon.

All the tossing and turning he did the past hours for nothing.

So he curtly gets up and shuffles over to Minhyuks room in his oversized shirt and too big sweatpants.

" Minhyuk?"

He peeks into the dark room. Minhyuk mumbles something inaudible and turns to the wall, away from the light that is falling into the room through the door crack.

Kihyun takes the obvious rejection as an invitation, like he does way too often and scurries over to the bed where he crawls under the warm blanket beside his still sleeping friend.

" Minhyuk?"

"Hmm..."

Kihyun pokes his side. " Wake up."

" No..."

" Wake *poke* up *poke*."

He barely dodges the pillow Minhyuk throws at him.

" Hyuk... I need to talk..."

Minhyuk groans in deep distress and rubs his eyes before he blinks into the darkness of the room.

" What do you want?", for a moment he takes a look at the screen of his mobile and cries in agony when the light is too bright. " It is half past three."

" I need you."

" Can't you confess your undying love for me in the morning?"

Kihyun turns sideways so he can rest his forehead against Minhyuks bare upper arm.

" I was thinking."

" About what?"

" Things..."

He takes the following silence as an invitation to explain more about it.

" First, I was worried about my kidneys."

Minhyuk finally manages to open his eyes at least halfway.

" Lift your head." he says and Kihyun does as he is told. Minhyuk stretches his arm out and Kihyun rests his head on it, like he has done a hundred times when he once again fled himself into Minhyuks bed.

" So you got scared?"

" No.", Kihyun states and snuggles closer into the warmth Minhyuk provides. " I decided it is no use to worry about it and tried to sleep. But you know how it is. Your brain starts to think when you seriously can't have it. And all of sudden someone else came up in my mind and I was done for good."

" Sweety Hoseok teleported himself into your sleepless brain?"

" Kind of.", Kihyun mumbles, feeling just a tiny bit embarrassed. " You can't laugh at me when I tell you about it."

" Tell me about what?"

" That I might be interested in him."

" That is something you need to confess to me? I believe even the Pope knows by now."

" Minhyuk..." Kihyun whines.

Minhyuk laughs out loud and turns to face Kihyun, only to pull his best friend into a tight hug. " I love you, Kihyunnie."

" What was that for?"

" Because you're so cute and easily embarrassed and because it feels great to know you come to me at three in the morning just to talk about your love life. I feel important."

Kihyun can't confess his feelings as easily as Minhyuk does all the time, but he hopes his friend hears his whispered cause you are important to me. By the way the blonde tightens his embrace before he allows Kihyun to breath again, he did.

Without Minhyuk by his side, everything would really be a whole lot harder to endure.

" Do you think it is a good idea to get to know him better?" Kihyun asks.

" Why? You're worried he's going to reject you?"

" Who doesn't worry about such things?"

Minhyuk affectionately ruffles his hair. " That guy already has such an obvious crush on you it is ridiculous."

Kihyun pricks up his ears. " You think so?"

" Please, Kihyun... he was all clingy and smiley around you and he obviously tried to figure out if there is something going on between us and almost has a every time you smile at him."

" He does?"

" You would have noticed if you weren't such a blockhead."

" I'm not.", Kihyun pouts and goes back to playing with the hem of his shirt. " Still... even if I knew 100 percent that he was interested in me... I'm not sure if I should go for it."

" Want to share your '100 points why I shouldn't approach the cutie' list you surely already made up? I'll try to be totally rational about it even though he is hot as , a gentleman and deserves all my support ."

" Minhyuk!" Kihyun playfully hits his arm. He then turns on his back and stares at the ceiling.

" First of all, I don't even know anything about him."

" You're the first human ever who has to get to know their love interest."

" You were the one worried about me when I told you about my first meeting with him and Changkyun."

Minhyuk nods. " Of course I was. It is still strange. But after meeting him, he seems to be a nice guy. There could be an easy explanation to everything. And even if not... it still doesn't have to mean he is the zodiac killer."

Kihyun mulls over the argument for a moment.

Minhyuk doesn't sound too wrong.

" You might be right. But even if you were, I still won't be able to reach him if I wanted to."

" Doesn't Changkyun have your number?"

" He does. But waiting for someone else to call me..."

" As I already mentioned, he is ing gone too far already so it will be just a matter of time until he gets your number or shows up at the shop again."

" What if it was just a phase and I'm not gay anymore?"

" Now you're starting to make things up."

" What if I should be with you instead?"

" Yeah, of course. I'm the love of your life."

" What--"

Minhyuk rolls his eyes. " Kihyun, stop it."

" What...", Kihyun himself notices in surprise how hollow his own voice sounds. " What... if my kidneys soon get much worse?"

For a moment, both of them don't talk. Kihyun feels Minhyuks gaze on him and the sudden knot in his stomach that has accompanied him for a long time now.

" Kihyun...", Minhyuk says softly. " We talked about it."

" I know. I just..." he stops midsentence, not even sure how to put his feelings into words.

" What are you scared of?"

Kihyun needs a few attempts to be finally able to speak. " You know what getting worse means. Dialysis, a whole ing lot of that, and in the end the only way might be a new kidney. Who wants to go through that with me?"

" You keep talking about what if's."

" What if... those what if's come true?"

Minhyuks hand finds his under the blanket, something that has kept Kihyun always safe in the rising panic he feels.

" You know I have always been there."

" I know."

" And there will be other people who will stay by your side, okay?"

Kihyun feels his hands dampen and tries to fight against the rising panic.

" Kihyun." Minhyuk says with emphasis. " There is no need for you to be scared. This is just your mind making things up."

" Okay."

" Breath in deeply. Can you do that for me?"

" I will try."

He does not only try.

No.

After a few minutes he manages to calm down his breath. His heartbeat grows slower, and soon his hand isn't almost crushing Minhyuks anymore.

" Well done.", Minhyuk caresses his hair. " You were worried all day long, weren't you?"

" No... it started when I went to bed."

" Good thing you're in my bed now."

Minhyuk pulls him closer and lazily pats his head.

" You will be fine, Yoo Kihyun. You will live a happy live and find a nice guy who will carry you on his hands. Not all the time of course. Since you're a really emancipated prince."

Kihyun quietly chuckles.

Minhyuk always knows how to brighten the mood.

" And to find that guy, you won't miss any opportunity."

" That means?"

" We're not ignoring cutie pie Hoseok because of a stupid kidney. Okay?" Minhyuk says meaningfully.

" But we're not running after him. Never. That's not our style." Kihyun adds.

" We can't run after him even if we wanted to. We don't have his number. But of course, we wouldn't run after him. We're not that desperate."

" Okay...but if he runs after us, we might consider talking to him."

" That's my not desperate boy."

And a while later, maybe because Minhyuk keeps running his finger through his hair, or maybe because the knot in his stomach is gone for tonight, Kihyun is able to fall asleep.

OOO

In the morning Kihyun curses his body for not letting him sleep well the night before.
He sits at their small table in the kitchen, eyes barely open, his head close to crashing into the table. Minhyuk, his usual self with too much energy even at 8 in the morning rushes around and makes Kihyun a small breakfast.

" You sure about going to work today?"

Kihyun nods, still too drowsy to verbally answer.

" How about only the shift at the bookstore? I can take over your shift tonight at the coffee shop."

"It's fine."

Kihyun manages to take his spoon and a small bite of rice wanders into his mouth.

He chews slowly.

On top of working his shifts on the coffee shop, Kihyun has a second part time job in a bookstore downtown. Medical bills, rent and other necessities are expensive and while Minhyuk only works a few shifts at the coffee shop while studying at college full time, Kihyun didn't have the chance to attend one and tries.

So for now, two jobs is the Devise until he has figured things out.

" I need to leave. Classes start soon." Minhyuk ruffles through his hair. " Don't forget your shot."

"Don't want to die on my way to work."

" That's my boy. See you later."

                                                                                                                OOO
 

" Good morning sunshine."

Kihyun sends a glare at the guy behind the corner of the convenience store and makes his way over to the drink section.

" Can you not?"

" I'm trying to get into your pants since 2010. Why would I stop on such a lovely day?"

Kihyun wonders why he still goes into the same shop every time.

" This is the last time I'm coming here." He says as he puts the water bottle on the counter. The worker grins at him. Kihyun and Minhyuk attended the same high school as Chihwan back in the old days and first they pretty much didn't have any contact. But one day he dared to throw Kihyuns freshly washed white shirt into the bucket ( just because it was fun and they were boys he said) and Kihyun kicked his balls into oblivion. Since that day he has tried to get Kihyun to go on a date with him, but he is frankly said not interested.

Kihyun can handle him, but he is still a pain in his .

" Ahh, come on, sweetheart. You'd miss me."

" Let's find out."

Chihwan rings the cashier and blows a kiss at him. " You love me."

" you."

He takes the water bottle and stomps over to the door.

'See you~"

By the time Kihyun arrives in the book store his mood has reached a new minimum and he prays do the day to be over soon. One gaze at the time and with deep sigh he remembers it is only 9 in the morning.

It can't be helped.

So he has a short chat with his boss and then starts his daily tasks, consisting of standing at the cashier, helping people out and arranging the books on the shelves.

It goes well.

After a while in the shop, between all the beautiful books and the smelö of them, he starts to feel better and soon he even jokes around with his boss and co workers. So it is no wonder, that even though the night before he was absolutely against it and would have run away happened everything a bit earlier, he now feels so happy when he walks around a corner, hands full of books, and sees no other that Hoseok in the other corner, checking out some book titles.
He stops in his tracks but the blonde already noticed something in the corner of his eyes and looks up. It only takes a second for him to start beaming at him. So brightly that Kihyun feels ty for not having put more effort into his appearance this morning.

" Kihyun!" Hoseok calls over a bit too loudly and now he really has the attention of the whole shop on him.

Which he already had.

Let's face it... the pink goodie he is wearing which makes him a whole lot more gorgeous than he already is doesn't work the other way around.

"Hey…" Kihyun says when the blonde walks over to him, all of sudden so self conscious. He runs his finger through his hair trying to smooth out a non existing sticking out hair.

" What are you doing here?"

Kihyun slightly lifts the books in his hands. " My second job."

"What? Two jobs? Amazing." Hoseok says in real astonishment.

Kihyun bashfully waves the praise aside. " It's nothing."

"It's a lot. And they keep bringing us together. Is there a third one so I will run into you another time?" he chuckles.
 

You can come to see me without a reason, no third job needed, Kihyun answers.

Almost answers.

An internal slap on the back of his head and his mouth keeps quiet. It is embarrassing enough that he is smiling like an idiot.

" Do you mind walking down the aisle with me? My boss is pretty alright but he doesn't like me standing around too much."

Hoseok nods eagerly and slowly follows him down. At a few spots they stop in order for Kihyun to put one of the books into the shelf.

"What are you doing for a living?" he asks Hoseok when there are only two books left.

" I work at a small company in town. Marketing stuff."

"Sounds nice... Can you hold them for a moment.", Kihyun gives the books into Hoseoks arms and climbs onto a small ladder to reach the higher shelves. " Even though at the first glance you aren't one for marketing. But I bet people tell you that a lot."

Hoseok gives him one of the books. " They do. What did you guess the first time?"

"Hmm… well, the first time I saw you serial killer was on top of my list."

"You're joking."

"Sadly I'm not."

Hoseok turns away in played shock. " Me? The cutie wearing pink?"

Kihyun chuckles as he climbs down the ladder. " You showed up pretty late and left your friend in my shop. And you got a whole lot of tattoos."

Hoseok checks his surroundings with two glances and leans closer to Kihyun. A shiver runs down Kihyuns spine when his lips almost touch his ear. " I got too drunk when I was younger and ended up with a tattoo on my . I think we can cross out the serial killer."

This terrible y voice . Kihyun coughs slightly, looking the other way in hope of getting rid of his red cheeks.

" Then of course we have to cross out the dangerous stuff."

He manages to gaze back at Hoseok and for a moment is startled to meet the others gaze. So warm and loving that it goes right through him.

"I'm not dangerous, Kihyun. Never was and never will be, okay?"

And Kihyun believes him on the spot because what else could he do when he is frozen at the spot, engulfed in the gaze out of those honest eyes.

" Hyung. There are like one million books about diabetes. How the hell should I know which one to take?"

A whiny voice pulls Kihyun out of his trance and it seems like the other wasn't much better than him.

" Did I disturb something?"

The redhead Kihyun remembers as Jooheon joins them.

" Kihyun hyung!"

He breaks out into his dimple smile and jogs over to them the last metres.

" Nice meeting you here! What are you doing?"

"Working."

"That's great. Then you can help me out. Hyung told me do find some books about diabet-"

"Jooheon!" Hoseok yells a bit too loudly and pulls the other into a headlock.

" Hyung! Too tight!"

" Didn't you look for some romance novel?" Hosoek presses out through gritted teeth. Kihyun is worried about the redheads oxygen need.

" Me? I didn't even want to come her. You forc--"

"Woah!"", Hoseok exclaims, pointing to nowhere. " I saw some over there! Give us a second, Kihyun."

"Sure…" Kihyun looks after them in slight confusion.

Should he tell them it is the pregnancy section?

No.

They seem to be in an important discussion, Hoseok seemingly talking like 100 words a second and Jooheon diligently nodding.
Kihyun walks a few metres down and puts the last book away. For a moment, he stays there, looking at the shelf, lost in his thoughts. Why would Hoseok look for a book about diabetes? It couldn't be… Kihyun subtly looks at the still talking men in the corner. He wouldn't do that because of Kihyun, right?

It couldn't be that easy.
He feels how his cheeks get hot again and he has to turn away.

Could it be possible that Minhyuk was right and Hoseok really is interested in him? He doesn't even dare to hope. People like Hoseok, social, nice, gorgeous and attractive people tend to be misunderstood a lot of times. Maybe he was just being nice and Kihyun was acting like a total moron. Maybe he really was just thankful because Kihyun looked after Changkyun. And Minhyuk once again was just too hyper to think rationally…
Oh… what to do…

" Kihyun… you shouldn't hit your forehead against the shelf."

"Hh?"

Kihyun opens his eyes and only then noticed the sudden warmth on his forehead. Hoseok is by his side, shielding his forehead with his hand and keeping it from hitting itonce again.

"Thinking?" he asks with a smile, his eyes too big and pretty for Kihyuns blood pressure to stay calm.

"Yeah, sorry. Bad habit."

" Don't hurt yourself." Hoseok softly pats his forehead, and Kihyun wants more of that, oh, how much more he wants of gentle Hoseok.

" We need to leave now. Jooheon has classes and I promised to drive him over." Hoseok doesn't sound too happy and Kihyun also feels a tiny bit disappointed. He feels Jooheons gaze on him and was that an evil grin he saw there, just for second?

" Let's meet again, Kihyun hyung."

"Sure."

"Bye, Kihyun." Hosoek says and doesn't move.

Kihyun slightly waves. " Bye."

Neither does Kihyun move.

Jooheons gaze wanders between them before he circles an arm around Hoseoks waste and pulls him away.

"Jooheon…" Hoseok whines.

" Bye hyung!" Jooheon smiles at him over his shoulder and Kihyun looks after them until they leave the store.