Voices wake Kihyun. Harsh sounding words, more whispered than spoken. He can't understand them well, his brain still too clouded from sleep.
When he opens his eyes, his gaze first lands on the clock on the wall.

7:15.

He groans internally. They should have woken him up an hour ago. He presses his cheek back into the pillow and tiredly rubs his eyes.

A gentle hand runs through his hair. When he looks up, it is Hoseok that crouches next to his lying frame, lovingly smiling at him.

" You can sleep more if you want."

Kihyun shakes his head and slowly sits up, still trying to figure out what he just heard and if it was only a dream. His gaze falls on Jooheons figure on the couch, the face of the younger hidden behind his mobile.

" Did someone fight?" Kihyun asks, his voice slightly raspy.

The gaze Hoseok and Jooheon share goes unnoticed, Kihyuns mind still not fully awake.

Hoseok pokes his cheek. " Must have been a dream."

"I see…"

Kihyun peels himself out of the blanket.

" When did you come back?"

"Ten minutes ago."

Hoseok takes the blanket and folds it before putting it back on the couch.

" They should have woken me up an hour ago. What about dinner?"

He is not yet able to fully open his eyes but still wanders over to the kitchen, Hoseok following him closely. The smell of fried food reaches his nostrils. He is surprised to see Hyungwon, Changkyun and Minhyuk working in the kitchen and is only more amazed when nothing seems to have been burned or broken yet..

" Princess woke up."

Kihyun glares at Minhyuk and leans into the door frame.  " I told you to wake me up at six."

"We tried to. But you kept sleeping.", Minhyuk points at him with a spatula. " You even cursed at me without waking up."

"You didn't.", Hyungwon counters while cutting up tomatoes. " He threatened everyone who even got close to waking you up."

"Hyungwon! Everyone will think I have a soul!"

Kihyun smiles at them, feeling warm all over.

Yes, this is definitely nice.

Hoseok hugs him from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder.

" Let them work for you once."

"I'm worried the apartment will burn down."

"They are doing well so far."

Kihyun has to admit he is right. There are vegetables already prepared on the counter, Minhyuk is frying noodles and eggs in a pan and Changkyun tries to start the rice cooker.

Kihyun leans into Hoseoks chest and leaves them be.

Later when all of them gathered in the living room to eat, he tastes the food and nods in appreciation.

" It's good."

Changkyun and Minhyuk beam, and even Hyungwon looks a tiny bit proud.

" I'm not hungry."

Jooheon puts his still almost full plate away and leaves for his room without another word.

"But--"

Kihyun calls after him but Hoseok puts a piece of radish into his mouth and successfully shuts him up.

" Leave him alone to sulk."

Kihyun chews the radish and swallows. " But… why is he sulking?"

Hoseok and Hyunwoo definitely know what is going on, Kihyun can see it when they share a meaningful gaze. When it comes to Changkyun and Hyungwon, he isn't too sure. They seem to have an idea but he is sure that he wouldn't get an answer out of them. Minhyuk is as clueless as him.

" Why is everyone acting like they know something?" Minhyuk asks Hyunwoo who sits behind him on the couch but the older just shrugs and goes back to eating his rice.

" That boy needs to eat though."

Kihyun puts his plate aside and takes Jooheons abandoned one.

" Kihyun.", Hoseok holds him back by his leg. " Don't run after him when he is like that. He could have eaten but didn't want to. It's his own decision."

For a moment Kihyun looks at the plate in his hand and contemplating about Hoseoks words. His boyfriend is right, of course, and Jooheon is old enough to know. But Kihyuns motherly side kicks in and he just can't deal with a lonely - and possibly hungry- Jooheon in his room.

" I'll bring it to him and be back in no time."

"Kihyun…" Hoseok sighs but doesn't try to stop him anymore.

Kihyun walks down the short hallway and knocks on Jooheons door.

" Can I come in?"

No answer.

A yes in Kihyuns world.

He slowly opens the door and peeks inside. Jooheon lies in his bed, busy playing a game on his phone.

" Hey.", Kihyun says and walks inside the room. " You need to eat so I brought you your food."

"I said I'm not hungry." Jooheon responds shortly.

" Maybe later."

"No."

Kihyun slowly approaches him. " I'm just going to put it here and leav--"

"I said I don't want it!"

The plate smashes against the wall, shatters and the shards and the food spread all over the floor.

'Carpet', Kihyun realises in the small second he is not able to comprehend what just happened. 'Who is going to clean this?'

Then, after the initial shock is over he is doing the first thing that comes to his mind.

Going to the door, closing and locking it.

Just in time because only a moment after steps can be heard. Someone juggles the door knob.

" Hyung!"

Changkyun.

" What was that?"

Kihyun leans against the door, holding the knob. " I… was a bit clumsy and the plate fell down."

"Kihyun…" followed by a deep sigh.

Hoseok.

" Then why is the door closed?"

"Food allllll over the floor. Wouldn't want you to get in to make more of a mess."

"Kihyun.", Hoseoks voice grows more serious." Open the door."

" Let me clean first."

"You're going to be like that?"

"Just give me five minutes, okay?"

Silence.

"We'll be out in no time."

"Five minutes."

He waits for another moment but they leave the door alone.

Jooheon hasn't moved yet. He is frozen in the same position he was in when he slapped  the plate out of Kihyuns hand, taking in the mess with wide eyes.
If there is one thing Kihyun hates it is wasting food other people put much effort in to make. He stomps over to Jooheon, carefully so not to walk into a shard and hits the back of his head with full force.

" You're happy now? Your friends put a lot of effort into making that food for you! Now all of it is wasted!"

The slap pulls Jooheon out of his trance. His almost scared gaze meets Kihyuns.

" What?! Care to explain what's gotten into you?!"

" I'm sorry, hyung…", he looks back at the mess, helplessly trying to find the right words." I'm really sorry for this. I don't know--"

He seems so sincerely disturbed that Kihyuns anger disappears easily.

He eyes Jooheon a bit longer, the earlier anger visible in his eyes for a moment longer and then ruffles through Jooheons short red hair.

"Oh boy. What the hell were you thinking..."

He decides that even if he is itching to clean the room right that instant it has time. He takes a seat next to Jooheon.

" I'm so sorry, hyung!" Jooheon found his words again. " I don't know what I was thinking!"

"It's fine."

"No! It's not!", he motions to the mess on the ground, tries to say something but a few attempts are needed until he gets his words you. " You must hate me now."

" Why would I hate you now?"

" I couldn't control myself anymore... sometimes that happens to me."

" I told you it's fine."

" It's not."

The crouched posture, the ashamed expression, the worry in his features and how agitated Jooheon seems. For a moment, Kihyun seems himself in the younger.

He motions for him to come closer. " I'll tell you something not even Hoseok knows yet."

" What is it?"

" I have this anger management problem."

" You?"

" Yes... It got better actually and I haven't exploded for a long time but when I was younger, around sixteen or seventeen, the smallest thing made me freak out. I beat up people for the smallest reason because I saw red and only red and had this huge anger in me I couldn't control."

Jooheons eyes grow as big as sausages. " Hyung…"

"Yeah yeah, I'm still trying to make up for it and I'm in no way proud of my behaviour. And the last thing I want to do is to talk about it. Why I did…. Well...  For a moment I saw myself in you. And... we're human. We mess up. And that's bad. But… if we are sincerely sorry and apologise and try to make things better there is no reason not to forgive you."

" Beating people up, hyung? You"

" Don't remind me of it." Kihyun shudders at the memory.

" Thanks for telling me even though you hate talking about it."

By now, Jooheon sits cross legged on the bed, face towards Kihyun but gaze still on the blanket.

" You look like Hoseok when I found him snuggling my chocolate away." Kihyun remarks.

" I can't help but feel ashamed."

"Care to explain why you got angry like that?"

Jooheon shrugs.

Kihyun softly elbows him. "Come on. You can tell me.", he points at the door with his thumb. " I even locked the others out. They would have made a horrible fuss."

Jooheon smiles cheerlessly. " Hoseok hyung would have thrown me face first into the wall... with Changkyuns help."

"I wouldn't have let them.", Kihyun winks at him and shows him his biceps. " Didn't we establish that I'm strong?"

"You do look weak."

Kihyun snarls at him.

" Sorry…" Jooheon chuckles slightly, a bit of his usual self coming through again. With his finger, he draws invisible lines on the blanket.

" I had a discussion with Hyunwoo and Hoseok hyung earlier."

Kihyun remembers the voices he heard - or assumed he had heard - in the evening. " So I didn't dream about it?"

"No… it got a bit heated. Sorry for disturbing you."

"Nah, it's fine. But... What could you have possibly be fighting about?"

Jooheon utters a groan, his eyes almost disappearing as he grimaces. " It is stupid."

"I still want to know though."

Jooheon moves over until he leans against the wall next to Kihyun. " Hoseok  hyung saw me meeting someone from our… former businesses."

Kihyun sits straight with a start. " But Jooheon! It's dangerous that's why Hoseo-"

Jooheon lifts his hands in a calming manner. " Not that way hyung."

"In what way then?!"

" Calm down! Hoseok will chop my head off!", he eyes the door with worry. " I'm not doing business anymore. It's just an old friend that needs help."

Kihyun is not convinced. " I swear to you, Jooheon, if you're lying Hoseok is your smallest problem!"

" I'm not doing business anymore! Calm down, hyung!", he takes Kihyun by the shoulders and pushes him back against the wall. " It is nothing dangerous. I'm helping out a friend with food and other necessities."

" Then why would Hoseok and Hyunwoo freak out over it?"

" I guess they are just worried.", Jooheon hangs his head. " I… sometimes forget that they have a lot of responsibility on their shoulders. They promised to look after us and they always kept their promise. I never really noticed and appreciated how much they are doing for us. No until earlier."

Kihyun feels a pierce in his chest when he sees always smiley Jooheon serious and sad like this, his usual bubbly self hidden under a mask of shame and worry.

" Especially Hoseok hyung. He so emotional... You know him pretty well by now. But… how he always managed to hide all of his feelings behind as mask. You would have been shocked."

" He cares a lot about all of you."

" Hyung.", Jooheon reaches out for Kihyuns hand. " I think he got so mad at me because he is worried about you."

Kihyun is confused. " Why me?"

" Hyung cares so much about you. I believe he is scared I'll pull everyone into something terrible… he really wants to protect you from it."

Kihyuns hand automatically wanders to his chest. His stupid heart, doing all of those crazy things it has never done before.

Jooheon slightly bows his head. " I'm really sorry I messed up this evening."

"I'm glad you explained everything to me.", Kihyun says. " Still, I think you should talk once more about the situation with them in a civil manner. Explain your reasons to them but also listen to their worries and try to understand their point of view."

"I will."

" And please, Jooheon.", Kihyun can't help but to pull the younger into a short hug. " Don't do anything dangerous. I care about all of you a lot. I want you to be save."

"Can you please never ever leave Hoseok hyung?"

Kihyun chuckles. " I don't plan to. And now...", he pushes Jooheon away and the younger almost falls from the bed. "... you're going to clear this room. Alone and fast. And if I find the slightest spot later, you're going to regret it."

"You look like an angel but you have the devil inside."

Kilmun shows him his tongue and makes his way out of the room.

He is a bit more shaken up than he showed Jooheon. Of course, fights happen in every family, but the reason over which the three of them were having an argument makes him feel sick in his stomach, horribly sick. He always knew that he cared deeply about them but the mere thought of something happening to them…That sheer idea makes him stop in his tracks when he reaches the living room.
His gaze wanders over Changkyun and Hyungwon, fighting over the last bit of tomato, Minhyuk, sitting in front of Hyunwoo on the ground and trying to get info out of the teddy bear, said teddy bear who is oblivious to the fact that the blonde already called dibs on him and Hoseok slumped into the armchair. Adorable Hoseok in his too big hoodie, messy hair, deep in thoughts, a tiny pout on his lips.
Kihyuns heart seems to swell over.
Has he ever been happy like this?
The times he can remember can be counted on the fingers of one hand.

They only notice him when he continues his way into the living room.

Hoseok straightens himself in the armchair.

" What did you do?" he demands to know.

" We had a nice talk."

Kihyuns makes his way over to Hoseok and joins his boyfriend on the armchair, legs over his lap, face snuggled into his shoulder.

" Didn't sound like a nice talk." Minhyuk says from where he is sitting in front of the couch.

" Everything is good. He'll clean up some mess before joining us again.", he pokes his boyfriends arm. " Can I have a bit of your blanket?"

Hoseok covers both of them with the fluffy blanket and beneath it hugs Kihyun tightly.

" Want to tell me more about it later?" he whispers into Kihyuns ear and the other nods, too comfortable and content to speak.

It is not possible to get any closer to Hoseok. He really tries to but has to give up.

" Kihyun? You okay?" Hoseok mutters from above, having noticed Kihyuns failed tries to hug him closer.

Kihyun listens to his inner voice and decides that like this, at this moment, he is alright.

" Jooheon... what did he say?" Hoseok asks, after all, the curiosity written all over his face. Kihyun fights his sleepiness.

" That he met someone from your past and that you were furious because of that. He was angry but I think that by now... he has calmed down."

" I hope so."

Hoseok absently looks at the television that plays quietly in the background.

Kihyun pokes his chin. " Don't look like that."

" How do I look?"

" Angry."

Hoseok kisses his forehead and Kihyun is not satisfied at all with that answer.

" I don't know what is going o--"

" You shouldn't know."

" I don't know what is going on-", Kihyun repeats with more emphasis. "-- but I do know that you have to talk things out. So if Jooheon comes to you later please listen to him and try to understand things from his point of view and don't just see what you want to see, okay?"

Hoseok mutters something under his breath.

Kihyun pokes his chin once again. " Okay?"

" Okay. I will try."

Kihyun smiles and puckers his lips.

Hoseok kisses him and finally the anger is gone from his features.

OOO

 

It is late at night.

The light of the moon falls into the room, makes everything just bright enough for Kihyun to see Hoseoks face in the dark.

He feels tired, but is still not sleepy enough to fall asleep.

Slowly, he runs his fingers over Hoseoks , starting from his shoulder plates over his soft white skin down to his hip.

" I never thought I would have to worry about your past getting back to you." Kihyun says quietly.

Hoseok watches him in silence for a moment. " It didn't get back to me."

" Somehow it did. And I can't help but worry about it.", Kihyun stops his movement, turns on his back to stare at the ceiling. " The big unknown is scaring me."

" There is nothing to be scared of."

Hoseok sounds sincere and Kihyun wants to do nothing more than to believe him but it is difficult for him.

" Then why were you so angry at Jooheon?"

" Because he acted recklessly. We decided together to cut all ties."

" He wanted to help someone."

" I know.", Hoseok says as he takes Kihyuns hand in his. " That doesn't mean he should."

" So, you want him to stay away from that person?"

" I'm not sure.", Hoseok breaths deeply, uncertainty in his voice. " I'm not sure about a lot of things, to be honest. But I know that we left that place for a reason, and that I prefer the life I have right now over anything else. I will listen to what Jooheon has to say, though. I admit that I was to harsh earlier and I will try to understand his reasons."

" Thanks.", Kihyun turns to lie on his side, facing his boyfriend. " Will you tell me more about your past soon?"

" When I'm sure it won't affect you."

" When is that?"

Hoseoks shrugs under the blanket.  " Don't know... maybe when I don't feel anxious about it anymore."

" Take your time."

" I will. Thanks for understanding."

For a while, there is silence between them. Once more, Kihyun starts to run his fingers over Hoseoks skin.

" That feels nice." Hoseok mumbles with half closed lids.

Kihyun tenderly smiles at him and proceeds.

A shudder runs through Hoseoks body as he touches a specific point.

"That tickled."

" I'll remember that."

Hoseok approaches him until they share one pillow. He slightly purses his lips.

"Kiss."

Kihyun pecks his lips and Hoseok whines when it goes too fast for his liking.

"Once more."

Kihyun chuckles, amused over his whining and kisses him once again, this time barely touching his lips. Hoseok groans in frustration. " You're doing that on purpose!"

"Of course."

" You're the worst tease ever."

Kihyun forgot that most of the times Hoseok gets what he wants. And everything that has to do with Kihyun seems to be on top of his list.

"Hoseok…", Kihyun warns him when he sees the devilish smirk that forms around his lips. " No matter what you're thinking about don't d--"

His threat disappears into thin air when Hoseok starts kissing his neck.

" We already -"

"So?"

"Ho-"

He wants to tell him to stop but all that comes out is a moan because Hoseok, that little devil in disguise, has the audacity to run his fingers over his , one of Kihyuns most sensitive areas. Hoseok must have felt the shudder going through his body. His kisses slowly wander over Kihyuns jaw line and up to his lips where he stops just a millimetre away.

" Kiss?" he asks once again, that damned smirk on his lips.

Kihyun groans in frustration when he doesn't close the distance between them and presses his mouth on Hoseoks.

" You started it, you finish it." he mutters against Hoseoks lips and his boyfriend more than happily agrees.