Kihyun is a nervous wreck on his first day of dialysis. He gets the weighing procedure before the actually therapy over pretty well but when he gets told to stay in the waiting area for a moment his hands become clammy.

" Jooheon."

He turns to the younger with a more than serious expression. Hoseok and Minhyuk wanted to be there with him no matter what but since they both had work and classes and Jooheon was free all day it would have been stupid for them to accompany Kihyun instead of him.

" Can you please tell them that throughout the whole procedure I have been a real man? I don't think I can be but I'd appreciate the lie."

"I got your back, hyung."

"Oh God…", Kihyun slumps down in his chair. " I love my blood where it is. Right in my body, freely flowing."

"You'll feel better afterwards."

"I feel worse than ever right now. And you--", for a moment Kihyun takes Jooheons hand in his "-- you're shaking more than I am."

" I don't."

"You do! You can't be nervous! We can't be both!"

" Don't worry. Were going to rock this.", Jooheon takes his bag from where he put it on the ground. " I'm prepared. A few books and mangas, music, my tablet. No matter how long it takes you won't get bored."

Kihyun leans his head against Jooheons shoulder and sniffs dramatically. " Thanks, Jooheon."

"No problem, hyung."

"Yoo Kihyun."

The nurse calls into the room and Kihyun slowly moves over to his place of execution.

 

 

 

OOO

 

 

 

Hours later and Kihyun has survived his first round.

" That's it." The nurse explains with a smile as she takes the needle out of Kihyuns arm.

" Really?"

"You look surprised."

"Yes…", he rubs over the spot where the needle pierced through his skin. " I thought it would be… more uncomfortable."

" Even the food was great." Jooheon says happily.

" I'm glad your first experience was a good one."

" If it's like that I can pull through it.", Kihyun swings his legs out of the bed. " I feel great."

" You still should take it slow--"

" It's fine."

Kihyun is too fast for his nurse.

On second on his feet, he feels how all of his blood bids goodbye and flows  into his legs and within the next two seconds he blacks out and greets the floor.

 

 

 

 

 

OOO

 

 

 

 

" I was totally freaking out, Minhyuk. But the nurse just waved it off as something that happens all the time."

Kihyun slowly finds back to reality.

" Yes. First I wasn't too sure. But it's like during a flight: if the stewardess doesn't panic you can chill."

He blinks into the neon lights above his head, feeling nausea in his stomach.

" He just woke up. Wait a second.", Jooheons face appears in his field of view, mobile in his hand. " You okay there?"

" What happened?"

"Your just had your first dialysis. You can't just jump back on your feet like that and expect everything to work well."

"Oh…" Kihyun says slowly.

" He looks okay, hyung.", Jooheon is back on the phone. " Pale and a bit disoriented but he seems to be fine so far."

"I feel sick."

"He feels sick."

Kihyun grabs Jooheons sleeve with shaky fingers.

" Jooheon. I'm sorry. I don't think I can take the subway back home."

" No problem, hyung. Someone will come and get us."

" We can take a taxi."

"No. You're not getting into that unhygienic thing right now.", he is back at the phone. " Can you be there in 20? Okay. We'll be out."

The nurse comes and checks over Kihyun once again before he is good to go. This time, he takes his time, slowly sits up and waits for a moment before he gets back on his feet.

" You really scared me there. You fell down like a potato sack."

"Sorry.", Kihyun groans and supports himself on Jooheons arm. " I take it back. It is a terrible thing and I feel like ."

"You will get used to it." The nurse says with a smile and after greeting her they slowly leave the ward.

" Do you want me to carry you?"

"No, no. It's fine. We just need to walk slow." Kihyun grabs the handrail with all his might whilst he makes his way down the stairs, Jooheons hand on his back.

" You did well."

Kihyun is not too sure about it but frankly spoken the only thing he cares about at the moment is getting down the stairs and outside the hospital.

He manages somehow.

" They are waiting over there. I can see the car."

Relief washes over Kihyun as he follows Jooheons pointed finger.

Two blonde shocks of hair. Of course they would be the ones to come.

" Hey.", Jooheon calls over. " You came here fast."

Hoseok approaches them and takes Kihyuns hands in his.  

" You don't look too well."

Kihyun walks into his arms and leans into his chest with all of his weight. " I feel like ."

"Doctor Park said it could be like that until your body gets used to it." Minhyuk interjects, studying Kihyuns face. " You look horrible."

"Didn't I mention I feel like ." Kihyun whines and buries his face deeper in Hoseoks chest.

" He hurt nothing when he fell?" Hoseok asks Jooheon, worry audible in his voice.

" They checked everything."

"Poor Kihyunie.", Minhyuk ruffles a hand through Kihyuns hair. " Come on. Let's get him back home. I'll drive."

" Let's go."

Kihyun keeps his arms around Hoseoks torso as they walk over to the car.

" Can I sleep over tonight?"

Hoseok chuckles lightly as he helps him to enter the backseat. " I thought that was already settled."

He gets into the car himself and Kihyun is back to hugging him in a second. His stomach is still in a turmoil and he is so terribly tired. It is nice to know that they will bring him inside safely.

" How did it go?"

Jooheon answers for Kihyun. " Everything went fine. It was so strange when his blood went through the machine."

"Did it hurt?" Hoseok rights Kihyun for a second so he can pull the seat belt around him.

Kihyun shakes his head, leaning back into him when it is done. " I just got dizzy."

"That wasn't just dizzy.", Jooheon throws in from the front seat when Minhyuk starts the engine. " You're lights went out like bam."

"Ahh… the mere image.", Hoseok groans and kisses his hair. " Be careful."

"Sorry.", Kihyun yawns, eyes already closed. " I'm really sorry for all the trouble. Really am." He wipes over his eyes.

" So cute." Hoseok cooes over him.

" Not."

"Sleep."

"No…" he whines quietly, earning himself another cooing and a warm cheek on his head.

" You're going to be grumpy today?"

Kihyun heavily nods, face still hidden in his chest. " The needle she put in was bigger than the cucumber I cut for dinner yesterday."

" Really?"

" Yes. And then they flushed all of my blood out of me and I got so scared. What if it won't get back inside, I thought."

He hears Minhyuks quiet chuckles from the driver seat. " You drunk, Hyun?"

Kihyun whines loudly. " Don't make fun of me! I was hardcore today! Tell them Jooheon!"

He tries to get up too fast but Hoseok keeps him back with gentle force.

Jooheon turns back to them. " You have been a real man today, hyung. My new role model. Everyone should shiver when they see you."

Kihyun falls back against Hoseok, heavily pouting with half closed lids.  " Everyone is making fun of me."

Jooheon laughs gently. " No. Seriously. You were great today."

Kihyun nods in approval, almost fully asleep already.

" I was."

Hoseok kisses his head once again. " We're all proud of you, Kihyun. And I hope you will feel better soon."

Kihyun drifts in and out of sleep. The next thing he notices is him sitting on a chair.

" Kihyun. A few bites."

A spoon gets softly pushed against his lips.

" Tired…"

His eyes close again and his head lolls to the side. A hand keeps him from gliding from his chair.

"Good catch, Hyungwon."

"Let him sleep, hyung."

Hoseok tries another time to get the rice into Kihyuns mouth. " I know. But Doc said he needs to eat afterwards. Baby, come on. You can do it."

"You're way too gentle."

Kihyun blinks when he feels Minhyuks cold hand on his shoulder.

" Kihyun. Eat. Or you know what will happen."

He manages to open his mouth and even grabs the spoon.

Minhyuk pats his hair. " He remembers New Year 2013. Good to know for future use."

Even chewing is too exhausting. In the haziness of his mind Kihyun hopes that it won't be like that all the time.

"It won't be like that all the time?" Hoseok asks in worry, as if he just read Kihyuns thoughts.

Minhyuk shake his head. " Don't think so. I guess his body is just getting used to it. It must be quiet the exhaustion for him. Right, Kihyun?"

He pats Kihyuns cheek and the latter leans into the touch. " Hyuk… I'm so tired."

"I know."

"Make it go away."

" Tomorrow it'll be better. You need to sleep."

"Really?"

" Oh gosh, he really is cute like that." Jooheon says from where he stands in the door frame.

The warm gazes they throw at him, Kihyun doesn't notice. He manages to eat another spoonful of rice and someone takes the spoon out of his hand before it falls to the ground.

" Come. Let's get you ready for bed."

" I'll sleep here."

" Yes... No way"

Someone heaves him up from his chair.

" You're really strong, Hoseok."

" It's Hyunwoo."

" Hh.", Kihyun says in surprise. " Have you been there all the time?"

Hyunwoo only quietly chuckles as he helps Kihyun over to the bathroom.

" Put him on the edge of the bathtub. Thanks.... Kihyun? Hey..."

" I'm awake."

" You're not.", a gentle hand pats his cheek. " Come on, time to brush your teeth."

Hoseok puts the toothbrush in Kihyuns hands and closes his fingers around it. It takes a few attempts but then Kihyun manages to brush his teeth, at least provisional.

" I brought your shirt."

" Let me sleep like this."

" Lift your arms."

" Yes..."

" You didn't.", a deep sigh and gentle fingers that through his hair. " It's horrible to see you this exhausted."

"Hmmm..."

That is it. Kihyuns last bit of energy is gone. It gets cold when Hoseok helps him out of his shirt but then he is already fast asleep, too tired to even dream.

The positive thing for him: He feels better the next day.

The negative one: Minhyuk filmed him and sent copies to everyone.

 

 

OOO

 

 

 

 

Some time later

 

 

 

"Minhyuk?"

Kihyun whispers in a hushed voice when he peeks into his friends room at 2 in the morning, like so many times before.

And like so many times before, Minhyuk is not amused.

At all.

" What?!" he groans and presses a pillow on his face.

"Are you sleeping?"

"You serious?"

Said pillow flies and hits the wall next to the intruders head.

Kihyun pouts. "I can't sleep."

"Are you hurting somewhere, is it an existential crisis or some other problem that needs immediate care?"

"No, but--"

"Out!"

" Minhyuk…"

" Let me sleep. It was a long day."

Kihyun scoffs. " You're just moody because Hyunwoo didn't want to share a bed."

Minhyuk sits up in his bed, a dangerous glow in his eyes. " I'm not."

"You definitely are."

" He doesn't know yet."

"What?"

" That he wants to share a bed with me."

Kihyun can't help but to laugh at Minhyuks pout. Another pillow flies.

" Moody~~"

Next thing that hits the wall is a comb and Kihyun rapidly leaves the room.

" Okay, okay. I'm out." he mutters and continues his way through the dark apartment.

He really can't seem to fall asleep today out of the mere reason that Hoseok is out with Changkyun, Hyungwon and Jooheon and can't sleep next to him. How much he got used to him already...

Kihyun hates pubs with hot passion and happily declined the offer to join them. And it wasn't like he had the time either way. Dialyses that afternoon took longer than expected and it was already close to eight when they left the hospital earlier today. His current hospital accompany, Hyunwoo is fast asleep on the sleeping couch in the living room. Kihyun felt bad for him having to stay in the hospital for that long and since he hasn't been too tired after dialysis for a long time now he had made dinner for him. Afterwards it was too late for Hyunwoo to go back home. Minhyuk was more than delighted to have him stay over.

Kihyuns face lights up when he stares at the sleeping figure on the couch. Maybe he can still be saved.

" Hyung." He comes closer and pokes the others upper arm, amazed at how squishy they are to the touch.

Hyunwoo groans quietly.

" Are you awake?"

Minhyuk would have killed him by now but Hyunwoo just blinks into the semi darkness.

" Is something the matter?"

"I can't sleep."

That doesn't seem like enough of an explanation for the older.

" Can I join you for a moment?"

He still blinks.

Kihyun shushes him to the left so there is enough space for him to join him under the warm blanket.

" Better." Kihyun sighs in satisfaction.

The blinking keeps going on. Hyunwoos gaze wanders to the gap between them, slowly back to Kihyuns face and when he seems to be okay with it and seems to have made up his mind he rests one arm behind his head and looks at the dark ceiling like Kihyun does.

" The couch is comfortable enough?" Kihyun asks.

Hyunwoo nods.

" Am I annoying you too much?"

"Is that what Minhyuk talked about?"

"Well… depends on what he said."

"Your insomnia that keeps him awake."

Kihyun scoffs. "He loves it."

"He is not…", Hyunwoo nods slowly. "... reluctant of having you in his bed."

" I can't sleep because Hoseok isn't there. It's cold without him." Kihyun says.

He chuckles after his words sank in. " Pathetic, isn't it?"

"No."

" Okay. If you say so.", Kihyun pulls the blanket higher until he is covered to his chin. " Since we're already here. Is there something on your mind?"

For the next minute it is quiet and Kihyun starts to wonder if his Hyung fell asleep again but obviously Hyunwoo just needed time to think. He likes to do that before talking.

" Changkyun."

Kihyun looks at him. " What's wrong with him?"

"Where he is working right now."

Kihyun is flabbergasted." You know about it?"

"Hyungwon got suspicious and followed him in secret."

"Ahhh."

Yes. That makes sense. Of course he would.

" You knew?" Hyunwoo asks.

Kihyun nods. " Yes. I actually talked to him already but decided that quitting is his own decision to make. Of course I will interfere again if something is the matter."

"Yes. Hoseok and Hyungwon got really worried about him but I told them to stay calm first."

" So he wouldn't feel embarrassed?"

"Yes. He feels babied a lot even though he is a grown up."

Kihyun sighs. " The perks of being the youngest."

" Hoseok and Hyungwon. They try to get him to quit today."

"But... you do know he isn't an ?"

"Why would he be an ? He is a barkeeper."

Kihyun wrinkles his nose. " Feels like I was the only one who got it wrong... well, at least everyone is worrying about our baby. I'm okay with that."

" Hoseok worries that people will recognize him and bring Taesan to the scene."

"Oh."

Kihyun grows silent when he hears the name and they keep quiet for the next moments.

" That guy seems to be horrible."

" Hoseok asked us not to talk to you about him."

Kihyun lifts his brow. " Why would he?"

" I can only repeat it: He worries."

" I don't want him to though..."

" He's is a lot better since he is with you."

Hyunwoo smiles at him and looks more than ever like a cute rabbit. Jooheon once said that Hyunwoo doesn't talk a lot, but when he is saying something it is most of the times important , well thought through or simply the truth, so one should always listen. Kihyun will try to follow his advice.

" Are you sleepy now?" Hyunwoo asks.

" More than earlier but still not enough."

He winces when next to his head Hyunwoos mobile starts to vibrate. Kihyun reaches over. He can barely touch the device with the tip of his fingers but with a tiny bit of struggling he manages to grab it from the table and to hand it over to Hyunwoo. The bright light of the screen hurts his eyes.
Hyunwoo puts the speaker on so he can listen.

" Are you still out?" He asks without greeting. It is loud in the background but Hoseoks voice can be heard clearly and Kihyun smiles brightly. He even moves closer to be able to listen better.

" Yeah.", Hoseok sounds tired. " I gave him enough shots by now but he still doesn't want to quit. He needs more."

"He's a good drinker."

"He is. You're in bed already?"

" I am."

" Hoseok!" Kihyun chirps happily.

It is quiet for a moment.

" Do I want to know why Hyunwoo is in bed and you are next to him?" he deadpans.

Kihyun his elbow up and rests his head in his palm." I couldn't sleep. And Minhyuk was a little sadist tonight who wouldn't let me into his bed. Hyunwoo was my only escape."

"I can deal with Hyunwoo in your bed."

" You never told me how squishy his arms are."

" Don't test me, Kihyun." he says in a serious tone but all of them know he is just joking.

" Hoseok.", Kihyun pulls Hyunwoos arm over so he is closer to the speaker. " I know about Changkyuns workplace."

"You knew?"

"Yes. I followed him."

Hoseok sighs deeply." I wonder what yours and Hyungwons problem is."

"We worry."

" You stalk."

" Because we worry."

Hyunwoos eyes disappears when his smile brightens but Kihyun is too busy to fully realise it.

" Talk to him like an adult."

"I'm not sure I can if he keeps acting like that."

"Tell him about your worries.", Kihyun takes the mobile out of Hyunwoos hand. " It helped with Jooheon."

" Hyung! Come over!" said ones voice hurts in Kihyuns ear.

" One second, Jooheon.", Hoseok calls back and is back on the speaker. " Why are they always listening to you and I get the grumpy part?"

"Don't know."

"All of the boys have a soft spot for you."

" They do?"

He gazes at Hyunwoo and the older nods in agreement.

" Hyunwoo says it is true."

Hoseok groans. " The younger ones. Hyunwoo… is too well build to have a soft spot. Can you go back to your be?"

"It's empty."

"It should be when I'm not there."

Jooheon calls his name once more.

" I need to hang up. I think that were enough shots for Jooheon."

" Make sure to bring them home safely."

"I will. Promise."

How much he loves Hoseoks soft voice and how it sounds through the speaker. Honey on toast.

" Go to sleep now. In your bed preferably."

" Okay. Do t stay out too long."

"Hmm. Bye."

He hangs up and puts the mobile back on the table before he snuggles into the blanket again.

" Soo…"

"Yes?"

"What you think about Minhyuk?"

Hyunwoo chokes on his own spit.

 

 

 

 

 

OOO

 

 

 

 

Kihyun focuses his target on the couch.

He slowly sneaks up to him, his feet make no noise on the ground.

Only two more steps and…

" Hey boyfriend." Hoseok says without looking away from the game he kept playing on his phone for the past 30 minutes.

" You heard me?"

"You're quiet tiny but you need to practise the sneaking, babe."

Kihyun jumps onto the couch and Hoseok lifts his arm without stopping his game, so Kihyun can comfortably snuggle to his side.

" What are you playing?"

"Candy crush."

" Isn't that out already?"

"I still like it."

When Hoseok concentrates on something, he bites his tongue and Kihyun thinks that is the cutest thing ever. It is warm in Hoseoks embrace. He slings an arm around his torso.

" Aren't I the cuddly one?" Hoseok asks without looking away from his phone.

" I missed you."

"You've been hanging around the apartment all day long."

" I missed you a lot."

Hoseok chuckles and closes the game on his phone. He puts it next to him on the couch and embraces Kihyun with both arms.

" Is something the matter?"

"No."

"So yes."

"Maybe."

He almost sighs in content when Hoseok slowly runs his finger through his hair.

" I was wondering if you're doing okay?"

" Why all of sudden?"

"Because… Hyunwoo said you worry a lot."

Hoseok pinches his nose. " Maybe that's an important part of my character."

" Get rid of it."

"Nah. I'm good."

"Really?"

Hoseok thinks for a moment before he responds again. " Lately… there are quiet a few things that came up"

"That are?"

"Hmm… Jooheon and the Hyorin story. Changkyuns new work. Which he still didn't quit and I'm loosing my patience here. And of course I'm worried about you."

"I'm doing well."

Hoseok kisses him gently and affectionately looks at him. "Still."

Kihyun bites his lips, not liking the answer at all. " I don't really know what to do about your other worries but you can delete me from your list. I'm doing well."

"Kihyun…", Hoseok sighs." I'm not going to stop until you're perfectly fine. Okay?"

" Then I will be."

" Good."

An idea pops up in Kihyuns head when Hoseok turns the TV on and while his boyfriend laughs about the comedy show on air he weasels out Hoseoks embrace.

" Where are you going?"

"Calling my boss."