"Taehyung..." Jimin was close to releasing a sob, but Taehyung wouldn't allow himself any comforting.

"I planned to make my Dad pay. Even if I were to die, he would pay dearly. It was meant to be bittersweet. I would die, he would live miserably in jail, and then I get to meet my Mum again. So you see... Did you really think I was worth saving?"

"Taetae..." Jimin called out with so much love and devastation in his watery eyes, Taehyung almost overlooked that Jimin wasn't supposed to remember that much about him.

"How did you know—"

"I was pretending, you —" Jimin cried. "How could I forget anything about you..."

"You lied about amnesia???"

"Yes..." Jimin said, trying not to feel sorry for being manipulative. "How else could I get you to open up to me..."

"Are you kidding... Did you have to put me through that? So I felt twice as worse?"

"Tae..."

"You got Matron Lee in on this too? This is not some guessing game, Jimin! You can't just make guesses about who I am!" Taehyung's voice was getting louder and more irritable.

Jimin who was initially feeling guilty, was now controlling his urge to tell Taehyung to get a grip instead.

"You think I enjoy guessing about you?? If you weren't such a pain in the to know, would I have to go through all this trouble?"

Taehyung bit his lips. He didn't like where this was going.

"You wanted to DIE, Taehyung ah. What was I supposed to do? Wake up and wrap you in a hug and tell you that "Everything is okay now"?? And then have you leave again at the first instance that I try to get close and be nice to you?"

Jimin was wrenching at the bedsheets in his tightened fists as he stared Taehyung down. Taehyung felt like his heart was being twisted along with those bedsheets.

"Seriously who do you think you are? You found me at my worst, you stayed while I cried like an ugly child, then you left so I would find myself alone on the goddamn floor. Is nothing worth keeping you? Do you think your life is cheap that you would just throw it away like that?"

"Yes...YES. My life IS cheap! Can't you see that I'm no good for you??? Why do you even bother??"

They were both past the stage of holding back tears now, and Jimin could see that they were being silly. It was obvious just from the way they looked at each other that they were the cause of each other's heartache, which also meant that they could mend each other.

"Taehyung ah... Stop fighting me." Jimin gave him a weak smile, and reached over to tug at Taehyung's hand as if to say he wasn't going anywhere. 

"I can't..." Taehyung admits, drawing his hand out from under Jimin's. "It hurts to see you like this... I can't do this anymore."

Jimin felt his body turn cold. "What do you mean..."

"It hurts to see you in pain because of me... I never wanted it to come to this, never thought I'd stay for so long."

Taehyung looked lost, like he was having difficulty finding coherence. It looked like he had a jumble of thoughts in his head that Jimin wasn't sure if he wanted to find out.

"You stayed for three weeks, and even then you avoided me half the time?" 

"I had to avoid you... It was getting a bit too much..."

"So this is not about you... this is about me?"

Taehyung was silently screaming at himself to not hurt Jimin's feelings. But maybe this would hurt less if the pain was cut short, much like ripping a band-aid out instead of peeling it back slowly.

"When you were unconscious... I really thought it was over..." Taehyung shuddered as he recounted the moment. "I felt your blood on my hands, I watched your cheeks turn grey... I freaked out really bad... My whole body stopped functioning when you wouldn't respond to me..."

In between the pauses, Jimin could sense that Taehyung was withdrawing from him.

"And all I could think of was how if it weren't for me, your cheeks would be warm, and you sure as hell would be breathing... I freaked out so bad I couldn't even tell if you were breathing... And it was my fault that you almost died. I prayed for you to get your life back, even if it didn't include me in the picture."

"Why are you saying this..."

"You've done too much for me... I can't bear it..."

"You're leaving?" Jimin asks with finality, coldness dripping from his voice yet his frantic eyes betrayed how much he wished this weren't happening.

"I'm a burden to you." Realisation dawned on Jimin. "You want me to stay out of your life..."

"Jiminie I just want you be to happy—" Taehyung protested weakly, looking beyond crushed.

"By asking me to stay away from you??" Jimin scoffed in hysterics. Maybe I should give up now, he thought to himself. I'm the only one who wants him to stay. 

"If you don't need me, why don't you just say so?"

"No that's not it—"

"Look, I get it. Don't come near me. Don't say my name like you just did. Don't give me any false hopes like you might actually care." Taehyung had lost the right to comfort Jimin at this point. "Just—Just go."

Jimin rested his head against his knees, wrapping his arms over himself as a way to end the conversation. Taehyung knew he couldn't get through to Jimin anymore. He had done irreparable damage.

The truth was that he needed Jimin so badly, he could hardly breathe.

He had nothing to live for before this, but this changed entirely when he first witnessed Jimin looking deadly pale; when he cupped Jimin's cheek in his trembling hand and realized that he would have given his own life in exchange just to bring Jimin's smile back.

How did it come to this? Taehyung wept bitterly in the corridor, one hand over his mouth to ease off the sobbing.

Do I deserve him?

__

Jimin had heard Taehyung's footsteps retreating from the room, and tears slipped freely down his cheeks when the door clicked shut, signaling that noone else would see his embarrassing heartbreak.

Taehyung didn't need him.

Just as he thought he was going to spend the night with wry tears, he could hear Taehyung pausing outside his room, and then came some muffled sounds. Although the sounds varied from a whimper to half a sob, and they were extremely scattered with long intervals of restrain in between, the level of distress was clear.

Jimin wasn't alone that night. It was unmistakeable that Taehyung was crying outside his ward all night.

Jimin had clutched a blanket painfully to his chest. He had to stop himself from going to Taehyung, because he wasn't so sure Taehyung wanted him to be there anymore.

Maybe it was best if he let Taehyung find his way back to him this time.

_____

Author's Note A/N:

I watched Hansung's crying scene writing this  T_____T  Taetae is a good actor!

Hope you like how I've developed the characters, I foresee 1-2 more final chapters. I swear I need to wrap this story soon and get a life :] 

I reccommend listening to this song, it really captures Tae's feelings towards Jimin in this chapter:

Lauv - Breathe

[Lyrics]
And it's killing me, me to say "I'm fine," "I'm fine"
When I really mean, mean to say...

You're my all and more
All I know you taught me
You're my all and more
But I need room to breathe

And this truth cuts not through one, but both
Not through one, but both of us
But it's deeper if I hold on

I should leave, 'cause you deserve better