Countdowns.

Taeyeon’s life has always been full of countdowns. From countdowns to a new year or to her turning a year older to small things like counting down to the end of a school term or even lunchtime, countdowns have always been part of her life for as long as she could remember, but the biggest countdown has got to be the one on her wrist – that one countdown she hasn’t quite figured out what it’s counting down to.

There is a countdown timer imprinted on her wrist – an automated one that she can’t control or erase no matter how hard she tried – and it has been there since the day she was born. Although she noticed it, she didn’t ask her parents until she was four.

“What is this, Omma?”

“It’s a countdown timer.”

“Countdown timer?” Taeyeon blinks. “What is a countdown timer?”

“It is used to count the remaining time till something that is going to happen.”

Taeyeon frowns, not understanding her mother.

“You have your calendar where you cross out the boxes every day right?”

She nods meekly.

“And why do you cross the boxes out?”

“Because that means I am one day closer to my birthday!”

“That is an example of a countdown. Except you have to do that manually but this,” Taeyeon’s mother holds Taeyeon’s wrist, showing her daughter the imprinted timer. “It moves automatically.”

“Then what is this counting down to?”

“You’ll know when you grow up.”

“Do you have one too then Omma?”

“I do.” Taeyeon’s mother shows Taeyeon her own timer. “See?”

“But it says zero.”

“Because Omma finished counting down to mine.”

“Are we the only ones that have this?”

Her mother shakes her head. “Everyone has their own timer, although the time is different.”

“Is it important?”

“It is.”

“Is it something happy like my birthday?”

“Yes.”

“Okay then.” Taeyeon smiles. “I will countdown to this too.”

===

As Taeyeon grows up, she realizes what her mother told her is true, that everyone has their own countdown timer on their wrists although in a different color and of course, with different timings. It has been with her for as long as she has lived but she still doesn’t know what it’s for. She has pestered her mother to tell her, but her mother insists that she finds out on her own so there she is, still clueless to this “biggest countdown” of her life. She has made guesses about what it’s for, but none of them were right and by the time she was fourteen, she has given up guessing and just let it be.

She is her second year of university when she realizes that there isn’t much time left to her countdown timer.

28D 14H 32M 53S

“28 days left.”

“Wow, that’s really soon.”

Taeyeon sighs. What is this for exactly?

“You don’t look too happy about it.”

“How am I supposed to react when I don’t know what it’s for in the first place?”

“I wish I could help you with that but I can’t,” Sunny, Taeyeon’s best friend, says as she munches her sandwich. “My mother never told me what it’s for either and I still have a long way to go before I find out.”

Taeyeon deflates.

“Your mother did tell you that it’s a happy thing right?”

“She did, but who knows. What if it’s not a happy thing for me?”

“I’m sure it will be. My mom told me it’s a good thing too.” Sunny tosses the wrapper into the bin after finishing her lunch. “Come on, Taeng! Be excited! Something good is going to happen to you in 28 days!”

True. Omma said it’s a good thing so it has to be something good. She will not lie to me. Taeyeon looks at her wrist. 28 days huh? I’m finally down to the last 28 days of waiting to know what this is for.

“I guess it’s a little exciting considering how long I’ve been wondering what it’s for.”

“You ought to be excited. Remember to tell me what it’s about when the day comes!”

Taeyeon cracks a small smile.

“I will.”

===

20D 2H 14M 55S

“You’re looking a lot more excited than you were 8 days ago,” Sunny comments.

“I thought it through. Omma wouldn’t lie to me so if it is going to be a happy thing, of course I’m looking forward to it.”

“Heck, even I’m looking forward!” Another friend of theirs, Sooyoung, exclaims. “I wish my countdown timer will decrease quicker.”

“How much time left on yours?”

“379 days.” Sooyoung sighs. “That’s more than a year away.”

“Don’t complain. Mine says 747 days which is more than two years away.”

Sooyoung goes back to her lunch immediately under Sunny’s stare.

“Chill, Soonkyu. Two years will fly by.”

“How am I going to chill if you’re going to call me by that name in public?!”

Taeyeon laughs. “Alright, alright. Sunny.”

“That’s better.”

“I’m so jealous of Taeng.”

“Me too,” Sunny adds. “I wish I can know what it is now. It has been way too long of a wait.”

“Well, we’re going to find out in 20 days after Taeng experiences it.”

Taeyeon looks at her wrist. “I can’t wait. I’m finally finding out after twenty-one years.”

“You mean we. We can’t wait.”

“Right,” Taeyeon chuckles.

===

14D 19H 47M 42S

“What do you think it’s for actually?” Taeyeon touches the numbers imprinted on wrist.

“Honestly? I don’t know.” Sunny looks up from her phone game. “I made guesses but I don’t think those are it.”

“I think all of us made our fair share of guesses. What were yours?”

“I can’t remember exactly what I guessed but the most vivid one has got to be a death countdown timer,” Sunny says. “But come to think of it, that’s just stupid of me because my parents are still alive when their timers are at zero.”

“The death countdown timer thing came across my mind too and that was the exact reason why I scrapped that idea. My parents are still here and very much alive.” Taeyeon chuckles. “What are the other possibilities then?”

“The day you pass your exam?”

“There’s no exam in 14 days.”

“The day you get free food in the cafeteria?”

“That only fits Sooyoung, don’t you think?”

“True.” Sunny laughs. “The day you meet your greatest danger?”

“We agreed that it’s a good thing, Soonkyu.”

“Right.”

Taeyeon ruffles her hair in frustration. “What is it?”

“Maybe you’ll have good luck on that day for the whole day?”

“Hmm.” Taeyeon thinks. “Plausible. That’s a good thing after all.”

“But I think it’s something bigger than that. Something more important. For something to be stuck to us in a timer like this, it has to be really important right? To the extent of it being life-changing?”

“Life… changing?”

Sunny nods. “Like it’s going to affect you for the rest of your life. Maybe career wise? Family wise? I don’t know.”

“Sounds plausible too but that’s just scary.”

“Yeah.” Sunny looks at her timer. “Maybe 741 days more of waiting isn’t that bad after all. At least I don’t have to deal with the uncertainness.”

“Pouring salt on my wound now?”

“Sorry.” Sunny chuckles. “But hey, at least you can get it over and done with. I’ll still have to deal with it 741 days later.”

Taeyeon shrugs. “Better get it over and done with, I guess.”

“It won’t be a bad thing. Your Omma told you that so I’m sure it wouldn’t be as bad as we thought.”

“Let’s hope so.”

===

7D 8H 31M 28S

Taeyeon bites the tip of the pen she’s holding.

Seven more days and I still have zero clues as to what it is. This is making me nervous.

She unconsciously frowns while blocking out whatever her lecturer is saying at the front of the tutorial room.

What kind of good thing can it be? Good luck? Good day? Am I going to strike lottery? Come to think of it, maybe I should get a lotto just in case it’s really a ‘good luck day’.

She