A/N: Sorry this update took so long since I went on another short trip after Korea and then there's all these New Year reunions. Happy New Year to all of you and here's wishing you a great 2017!

***

Tiffany spends the next few days thinking about what Jessica has said and finally comes to terms with herself. She continues going out with Hojoon whenever the latter asks in the meantime, but she cannot shake off the guilt she feels in her heart. I like my boyfriend’s good friend but here I am, still going out with him like nothing is going on. I am borderline disgusted with myself.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Tiffany fakes a smile.

“Are you sick?” Hojoon places the back of his palm against Tiffany’s forehead. “No fever though.”

Tiffany brings his hand down. “I’m really fine, Oppa.”

“Is something bothering you?”

“Kinda.”

“Assignments?”

Tiffany shakes her head.

“What is it then?”

She takes a deep breath and looks up at Hojoon.

“Oppa, I–”

“Hmm?”

She can’t get the words out of .

“Is there something you want to tell me?”

“Nah, nothing.” Tiffany sighs inwardly. You’re a coward, Tiffany Hwang. “I’ll get it sorted out soon.”

“You can always talk to me if you need a listening ear. I’m here 24/7.”

“I know. Thank you, Oppa.”

===

Another week passes by and Tiffany has yet to talk to Hojoon.

There were so many times where she wanted to – countless times – but she always ends up giving up. She doesn’t dare to, for she is afraid of what’s to come after.

Will Hojoon Oppa be mad at me? Will Taeyeon forgive me? What if nothing works out in the end?

Tiffany once had the thought of letting things go on as it is and acting like nothing has ever happened. She can have the perfect life that way – good grades, good boyfriend, everything that people will envy her for if she lets things stay as status quo.

And I can’t believe how selfish I can be just for having that thought.

She was on her way to the cafeteria when someone pulls her.

“Let go!”

Tiffany tries escaping but Jessica tightens her grip. She only lets Tiffany go when they reach a quieter corner.

“Why did you pull me here?!”

“When are you going to talk to him?”

Tiffany bites her lower lip.

“You said you were going to do it last week. When exactly do you plan to do it?”

“I… I don’t know…”

“You can’t let it go on like this. You’re lying to him.”

“I tried, okay? But I can’t.”

“Why?”

“…”

“I asked you why.”

“I’m scared, Jess!” Tiffany raises her voice. “I can lose everything the moment I tell Oppa about it. I can lose both my boyfriend and my friend.” She sighs. “I know I’m a coward and I can’t help but be one. I don’t know if I can handle losing two people I hold dear to me.”

“But you can’t keep lying to him like this. Do you feel good about it?”

“No…”

“See? Besides, you’ll never know if Taeyeon feels the same way as you.”

“First of all, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m a girl.”

“So? How do you know her preference?”

“At least I know she wouldn’t like someone who pushed her away for no reason.”

“Then explain it to her. Tell her why you did it and maybe she will understand.”

“The keyword is maybe, Jess. Maybe.”

“She deserves to know the reason though,” Jessica states firmly. “After all you’ve done, she still cares about you. God knows what she went through to get you that book just because she knows you’re a fan. Don’t she, at the very least, deserve to know the truth?”

Tiffany feels a twist in her stomach at the thought of Taeyeon. She does.

“Whatever it is, please get over your fear or selfishness and fix this quick?”

“What is it to you anyway?”

“I don’t want to see my best friend like this. You haven’t been yourself lately and I really don’t like seeing you being all mellow and stuff. The Tiffany Hwang I know is an energetic kid who is never mellow and I very much prefer that version of her.” Jessica smiles sadly. “So please make her come back?”

Tiffany feels a rush of emotions from Jessica’s words. Not only does she feel guilty towards Hojoon and Taeyeon, she now also feels guilty for making her best friend worried.

“I’m sorry, Jess.”

“Don’t be. Just know that I care for you and I only want you to be happy.”

“Thank you.” So much.

===

Tiffany spots the person she has been waiting for and moves from where she is. She taps on the person’s shoulder but only got a frown as a response before the latter starts walking away. She quickly trails behind.

“Taeyeon-ah, can we talk?”

“I don’t think we have much left to talk about.”

“Taeyeon…” Tiffany grabs Taeyeon by her wrist. “Please?”

Taeyeon turns around and frowns again when she sees Tiffany’s eyes. I swear she knows what I’m weak against.

“Ten minutes.”

“Okay.”

They go to the school garden to get the quietness they need. Taeyeon sits down on the bench and Tiffany timidly does the same, making sure to keep a distance between them in case Taeyeon doesn’t like the idea of her getting too close.

“Speak.”

“I got the present. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I really like it. You still remember I’m a fan of Harry Potter?”

It’s not something I can forget that easily because it’s you. “Yeah.”

“Thank you.”

“And I’ve already said you’re welcome.” Taeyeon is getting a little annoyed at the small talk. “Seriously Tiffany, what is it that you want to talk about?”

“I… I want to apologize for the hurtful things I’ve done and said to you.”

Taeyeon raises her brows and waits for Tiffany to continue.

“Whatever I did, I have a reason. I really didn’t mean to offend you.”

“Calling me or my actions burdensome but didn’t mean to offend me?” Taeyeon scoffs. “You sure are a pro at irony.”

“I wasn’t thinking back then and I spoke quicker than my mind. Those words came out before I realized it.”

“Well, I’m sorry for making you speak faster than you could think then.”

“No, it’s entirely my fault. I’m really sorry.”

“Then why?” Taeyeon faces Tiffany. “What did I do to make you push me away?”

“…”

“Why?” Taeyeon repeats, her tone firmer this time.

“I…” Tiffany sighs. “I can’t tell you yet.”

“So you asked for a talk because you wanted to apologize to me for what you did but you can’t even tell me the reason?” Taeyeon feels her anger boiling. “What I need isn’t just an apology from you, Tiffany. I need an explanation,” She states seriously. “I deserve an explanation.”

“Y-you do…” Tiffany feels slightly afraid from Taeyeon’s tone. She hasn’t heard Taeyeon speak like this before.

“Then?”

“But… I can’t… Not now…”

“Why are we even having this talk then?” Taeyeon stands up furiously. “We can talk after you can give me an appropriate explanation for what you did.”

Tiffany feels as though her world crashing. Although she knew it is unlikely, she thought Taeyeon might be able to forgive her or at least be less angry after she apologizes but seeing Taeyeon’s reaction is killing the tiny hope she was bearing. You expect her to forgive you without getting a proper justification for your actions? You’re so selfish, Tiffany Hwang. So, so selfish. She clenches her fists. So it’s really going to end this way. Hojoon Oppa is going to break up with me and I’m going to lose a good friend because I can’t freaking tell her the truth. I’m going to end up all alone. It finally hits her. I’m going to end up all alone. She doesn’t know why but tears started falling. You have no rights to cry!