My head lolls from side to side as I slowly start to awake. I slide my hand off to my side and across a cold, untouched pillow.

She's not here, I think to myself. My hand balls into a fist as I flutter my eyes open even more, taking in my surroundings from my undisturbed position I woke up in. There's no wispy canopy above my head and the dresser with the mirror against the wall adjacent to the door isn't there. The laced pillows aren't beneath my head and the covers are scratchy and old‐fashioned; I'm not in her room. 

I sit up so fast that all the blood rushes to my head and makes black spots in my vision. My hands run down my body and I find that I'm fully clothed. The pads of my fingertips press harshly against patches of skin on my neck and nothing.

I don't feel the soreness of a night's tomfoolery or the passion brought onto me by another person. I allow my head to fall and hang in between my slumped shoulders as I recollect on last night—if it even happened. 

This is not happening again, I tell myself. It had to have been real.

Her lips... on my lips.

My hands... on her body, up her thighs, around her back.

Pulling myself out of bed, my steps are light coming down the stairs. The house is awkwardly quiet, there's no other sound to occupy this silence. Minho isn't up cooking or cleaning and Mina, who knows where she is right now? Not everything could have been a dream last night, could it? I don't even know anymore and I swear, if Minho gave me my medication has anything to do with this, he is getting it. 

I fish my phone from my jacket pocket and check my messages. 

2:34 AM [Jihyo]: Sorry for the druink trexting but damn im in love with u 

6:01 AM [Jihyo]: ...looks like the truth is out. 

6:37 AM [Jihyo]: I miss you. 

7:48 AM [Minho]: You'll thank me later. 

9:00 AM [Jeongyeon]: Star player! Only letting you know that we have two or three more meetings before school starts. Also! I'm throwing a party tonight. Be there. 12 AM. Text me back and let me know if you're going. I'll shoot you the details after.

And of course Minho would be behind everything.

How did I not realize that?

I'm currently standing in the middle of my living room with the light from my phone making my face glow from the brighness, the corner of my bottom lip caught in between my teeth.