Rose hadn’t really expected to be able to talk so openly with her therapist but he was surprisingly understanding and empathic.

‘Sometimes extreme emotional trauma can lead to a sort of split, shall we say, in the personality,’ he’d explained kindly, ‘leading to what we now call the dissociative identity disorder, more commonly known as multiple personalities.’

She’d let out a sigh she hadn’t known she’d been holding, feeling a small measure of relief at having a semblance of explanation. ‘I can hear her though,’ she’d countered weakly.

‘That happens sometimes, although it is usually the other identities and not the main personality who talk to each other.’ He’d smiled at her. ‘I think the fact that you’re aware of her presence is… well, its good news because bringing the alternative identities into awareness is the hardest part of therapy, in such cases.’

‘It must’ve been very difficult for you, and I want to applaud your courage. It couldn’t have been easy to talk about this.’ He sounded empathetic, looking at her thoughtfully. ‘Do you think it’d be possible for me to talk to… Star, was it?’

Rose checked inside her. Star didn’t seem interested in what the doctor was saying, more fascinated by the display of moving magnets placed on his desk. ‘I… don’t know. She… well, she used to take over whenever she felt like it but lately, I’ve been trying to talk to her. She still takes over as she pleases but it’s not as often as before.’

‘Oh, you talked with her?’ He leaned forward in muted excitement. ‘About what?’

‘Well…’ Rose breathed out, feeling both anxious and relieved at talking about the thing which had been plaguing her since her waking and had made her a stranger to her own family. ‘I- I thought that since she seems to be inside here with me,’ she pointed at her head to indicate, ‘and it didn’t seem like she was going away any time soon, so why not find out who she was…’

‘Hmm… makes sense…’ he murmured, nodding his head encouragingly.

‘So that’s what I tried to find out.’ She quieted in thought.

He waited for some time, allowing her to collect herself before prodding gently. ‘And?’

‘And?’ She looked up, lost.

‘Can you tell me what you found out?’ His soothing manner gave her the energy to nod.

‘Did you name her Star or does she call herself that?’

‘She told me her name was Star.’ Because I’m shiny, like a star.

‘How old is she?’

‘She is four.’ Star remembered her age very clearly because Choomin had told her she was all grown up.

‘Hmm… do you think it would be possible for me to talk to her?’ He posed the question tentatively.

‘I… I don’t know.’

‘If you allow me, I can attempt to put you in hypnosis and let her come forth.’

‘Will it help?’

‘It might.’ He nodded.

‘Okay.’

He had her sit back comfortably in a couch and walked her through the steps of hypnosis, explaining what he was doing; if nothing else, her therapists’ quiet confidence – so reminiscent of Lily, if she were being honest – relaxed her significantly, in a way she hadn’t in weeks, maybe even months.

‘Star…’ She could hear his voice coming but felt detached from it, like she wasn’t the one he was talking to. Though, she supposed he really wasn’t. ‘Are you there?’

She felt the child inside her perk curiously at the call of her name. ‘Yes?’ Rose felt her lips part and move but the sense of detachment remained. The voice that left her was childish in tone and inflection.

‘Do you know who I am?’

Rose felt her head shake.

‘I am Dr. ---, Rose’s therapist. Do you know Rose?’

‘Lose…’ she murmured experimentally. ‘Is good.’

‘Yes she is. Will you answer a few questions for me, Star?’

Rose felt her eyes shift to her therapist, could feel Star wondering if she should talk to the ‘derapis’ or not. Bad Man hadn’t told her anything about not talking to derapis and Choomin had told her to be careful of the Bad Man only. And he was Lose’s derapis.

She nodded slowly. He smiled encouragingly. ‘So, your name is Star?’

A nod.

‘How old are you?’ He’d adjusted his speech to suit her mental age, like he was talking to a toddler as well.

Rose lifted a hand, four fingers held up. ‘Do you remember your birthday?’ She frowned, shaking her head.

‘How long have you known Rose?’

The questions continued, her therapist guiding the interview. Rose let herself relax in the detached state she was in, for once willingly letting Star control her body.

‘Rose said you wanted to hurt Leo… why do you want to do that, Star?’ He prodded, Rose brought back to the present simply because of the spike of fear that went through Star.

Star shook her head vehemently. ‘I don’t wanna hurt Lelo!’

‘But you told Rose you had to.’

Star started crying. ‘Because Lelo wants to stop Star and if- if…’ she hiccupped, looking up at the therapist, who was surprised at the prominent red-gold in her eyes, ‘Star doesn’t do what Bad Man said, Bad Man will hurt Choomin. And Lose.’

‘Who is Choomin?’

‘Big brother.’

‘And who is the Bad Man?’

‘He’s bad, very bad.’ She sounded terrified, bringing up her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them to curl in a fetal position. ‘Very, very bad…’

Her therapist attempted to talk further with Star but she’d retreated to incoherent mumblings and deciding nothing useful could be obtained from prolonging the session, he snapped his fingers, bringing Rose back to the present.

She was surprised at the ease with which Star receded to the back of her head, still terrified and crying.

Her therapist sat back, pondering over what he had learned while giving Rose enough time to regain her bearings.

‘I have no idea what she talks about half the time.’ Rose rubbed at her forehead, feeling exhausted.

‘I imagine it doesn’t really make much sense. I must admit there are quite a few things I’m not sure I understand but I have a working formulation that I’d like to share with you.’

She nodded to indicate she was listening.

‘You told me your father died while you were quite young… when you were playing on the streets and he jumped in front of you to save you. Is that right?’

‘Yeah…’ That was the clearest recollection she had of her father, given how young she had been.

‘How old were you at that time?’ He asked.

‘I… I think I was around the same age as Star…’

He nodded in encouragement, seeing that she was picking on the connection. ‘Are you suggesting that she is… me, when I was four?’

‘As I said before, extreme emotional trauma can at times cause splits in the personality. Your father’s death, for instance.’

‘If she was born then, why did I just become aware of her?’

‘Well… maybe she’s trying to tell you something.’ Rose only stared in response, making him lean forward to explain. ‘You have implied that Star is someone who wants to hurt your family, may have already hurt some individual or animals. Am I getting that right?’

‘Yes.’

‘Well, I talked with her for over...’ he glanced at his watch, checking the time, ‘twenty minutes. From what I’ve been able to gather, she’s little more than a toddler, terrified of something hurting her brother whom she clearly loves. Maybe, in her mind, Choomin is some representation of Leo… as she remembers him, in his younger years. Maybe she’s afraid whatever – whoever killed her father will hurt her brother as well…’

Rose could only listen. It made so much sense.

‘What I’m saying is that Star isn’t the one who wants to hurt you, your brother or anyone else. She’s a child, terrified and very lonely.’ He leaned forward, voice lowering. ‘What I meant when I said I had a working formulation was this – maybe Star isn’t the only alternative identity you have.’

Her eyes widened. ‘What?’

‘Your accident and consequent coma – a near death experience – may qualify as extreme trauma and it may very well have led to another split, perhaps giving birth to a more… violent identity.’

She shook her head in denial. It couldn’t possibly be true.

‘I know it’s overwhelming… I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult this must be for you.’ His eyes were kindly, soft as she tried to process the thought. Another identity? Something other than Star inside her? Something more sinister than the child who took over her so easily?

‘Who…?’ She could only shake her head.

‘The Bad Man.’ He let it settle for a moment. ‘It’s just a… hypothesis. But perhaps…’ He caught her eyes. ‘The unconscious works in mysterious ways. Our dreams, nightmares are a glimpse into those. We have irrational ideas, feelings, thoughts – things we never voice out but that are there, inside of us. Sometimes we acknowledge them; other times, we push them away, repress them to get rid of the anxiety they create. But those ideas may start showing up in our dreams. ‘

‘What I’m saying here is this: perhaps you blamed yourself for your father’s death as he died trying to save you from an accident. However, the thought of it was too painful for you to bear, so it was pushed away and the trauma of it all led to Star’s birth. At the same time, the idea that you killed your father… may have led to the development of this persona Star calls the Bad Man. By calling it a man, she attempted to distance herself from that part of herself which she believes is dangerous, the part that is violent. And it may be this part which is responsible for those violent actions.’

He stopped, understanding that Rose had had enough. They sat in silence after that for a long while, her digesting what she’d been told and him letting her.

‘So, what do I do then?’ she finally asked.

He smiled.

……………………………….

Rose seemed subdued when she joined him outside, mirroring his own mood.

‘Hey baby, how’d it go?’ He pulled her into an affectionate hug. She smiled wanly up at him. ‘It was… intense.’

‘You okay?’ He peered at her concernedly.

‘Yeah, just exhausted.’

‘Want to go home?’ She shrugged. Leo bumped his shoulder against her, making her look up. ‘There’s a carnival today, at the amusement park. How about we go there, huh?’

Her eyes widened, both herself and Star perking with interest. She loved carnivals.

‘Are there rides?’

He grinned. ‘You bet.’

‘Yes, let’s go!’ She pumped her hand in the air, noting with some interest that Star seemed weirdly in sync with her. Their voices had blended in, the childishness not as prominent as it could be, like they were both speaking at the same time.

 Leo noticed it too, eyeing her for a moment before chatting up about all the rides she could take at the carnival. If Lily talked with Xiumin today, he’d probably show up tonight… or maybe tomorrow morning and Rose would leave with him. That gave him distressingly short time to spend with his baby sister before he left as well.

Much as he wanted to break his word to Lily and stay in Oulphesden – he could contact N and his boys, they would entertain him without questions – but she was right. He had to think about his wife and child.

So he’d make do with what he had and make the most of today. Rose loved amusement parks and joy rides and if the bright red-gold in her eyes was anything to go by, so did the thing inside her.  So, he’d spend some quality sibling-bonding time with Rose and say a proper goodbye before sending her off.

 ‘You know, today’s the couples’ day?’ He gave her a smile, turning mischievous when he took in her red cheeks. ‘Oh, is there someone you like?’

She blushed even harder, making him blink. His Rosie was all grown up.

‘Who is it?’ he asked gruffly.

‘Hmm?’ She looked at him, confused, before the meaning registered. ‘No one!’

‘You’re lying; I can see your nostrils flare.’ he pointed out.

 She touched her nose self-consciously. ‘Am not…’

But she couldn’t meet his eyes, making him grin even as something heavy settled in his stomach.

First Lily, now Rose. His sisters were growing up too fast and while Lily had never been content to be treated as the little sister, often taking on the role of the elder in their family instead, Rose had always been his adorable baby girl.

And now, she was all grown up and liking someone and he really wanted to cry a little because time went by so fast.

He felt like beating up whoever it was, just on principle.

‘So who is it?’

‘Nobody…’ she shook her head.

‘Come on, tell your brother.’ He bumped his shoulder into her, making her stumble aside; grinning, he pulled her back. ‘Maybe I can help.’

‘More like beat him up…’ she muttered.

‘Oh, so it’s a guy…’

‘Leo!’ She half-whined, half-laughed, stamping her foot.

‘What? You like girls?’

‘No! Stop it…’

‘Is it your therapist?’ He laughed when her punch landed on his arm, barely hurting. ‘Or…’ he gasped dramatically, widening his eyes as he looked her. ‘is it Xiumin?’

‘EW no!’ She pushed him away, stalking off in a huff. He laughed loudly, falling in step with her again.

They walked in silence for a while. The amusement park was a little way away but he didn’t feel like getting a cab and interrupting this private time. It had been so long since he like this; first because of her coma, then because of that thing, which had made his so wary of playing with her. While he’d never forgotten she was Rose, he’d neglected to treat her as that, letting his worries confound his behavior towards her.

It was too little too late now but it was still better than nothing.

Rose surprisingly broke the comfortable silence between them. ‘I don’t know who he is.’

‘Hmm?’ He’d been so lost in his thoughts, it took him a few moments to get her meaning. ‘Oh…’

‘I think I’ve met him before, though I can’t remember where.’ She got lost in her thoughts again, looking blankly in a distance. ‘He feels… familiar somehow.’ Then she blushed, a red as brilliant as her hair. ‘I- uh…’

He laughed, charmed by her cuteness. ‘Aw, Rosie has a crush.’

‘Stop it…’ she murmured, turning and marching away quickly. Laughing, he followed her.

……………………………

A/N

Hey guys, hope you enjoyed the update :3 I went off into a psychological tangent here but I couldn't resist :) The idea that there are always rational explanations for seemingly irrationtional stuff, something I really enjoyed when I watched 'The Exorcism of Emily Rose'; incidentally, the movie also inspired most of what's happening with Rose in this story... Emily Rose, Rose, hot damn O_O I never thought about this before. Seems like my subconscious was way ahead of me when I thought what I'd name Lily's sister ;P Anyway, this session is not an accurate portrayal of either hypnosis or how a formulation is shared but I'm taking poetic license, as I have with so many things. That said, Rose suffering from DID is entirely plausible, although again, my portrayal is exaggerated for story purposes. If you'd like to find more about DID, you can read it up here: 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_identity_disorder (Although this is super detailed and might get you lost unless you're familiar with psychological terms and jargon)

https://psychcentral.com/lib/dispelling-myths-about-dissociative-identity-disorder/?all=1 (This is quite simply written and gives answers to the common questions or confusions regarding DID)

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-differences-between-bipolar-disorder-schizophrenia-and-multiple-personality-disorder/?all=1 (and of course, there is always a chance of misdiagnosis - if you're aware of the symptoms, you may recognize that a lot of what Rose displays here can be considered as psychotic symptoms, so misdiagnosis as Schizophrenia is possible)

And if this kind of thing fascinates you, you might enjoy The Three Faces of Eve, Sybill, Split and of course, The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Just keep in mind that these are highly exaggerated versions of the disorders but good entertainment. 

Okay, so now, I'll stop nerding out on you guys and leave you to enjoy the story. Do leave a comment and let me know what you guys think. I'm sorry for the slow updates but I'm progressing with the story and I'm quite happy with what I've managed to write so far. Super excited to share it with you guys. Also, sorry for the lack of Lily/Xiumin in this chapter, we'll see them in the next :) I promise to update sooner this time :) 

Okay then, later <3

P.S. Any guesses about Rose's crush?