Changes and Mistakes
Lost MemoriesI finally found time to update.... As mentioned previously, the reason behind Sanghyuk's actions
Sanghyuk met Taekwoon when he was 10. The latter was 15. He was the new kid that moved into the neighbourhood because of his parents’ job. Sanghyuk had no friends and his parents was always working. Even his older sister was busy with her high school life, leaving Sanghyuk always alone. He was lonely until Taekwoon came into his life. They met when Sanghyuk was by himself in the park, playing with a stray cat. Taekwoon approached him or rather he approached the cat.
And from then on, they started to get to know each other. Sanghyuk was the adorable dongsaeng and Taekwoon was the dependable hyung. They were always together and Sanghyuk started making more friends and was less lonely. Regardless of his new-found social circle, the younger always made time for his favourite hyung. But to be more precise, he would discard whatever plans he made with other people just because his hyung happened to be free or that Sanghyuk just wanted to be with Taekwoon. It began as pure admiration for the older. The amazing soccer skills, the beautiful voice and the gentleness that Taekwoon possessed enchanted Sanghyuk.
He realised his ual orientation and his feelings when he woke up one morning in his teenage years with a hard-on. He dreamt of Taekwoon in the most inappropriate way. From then on, every pat the older placed on his head made him tense, every touch and innocent hug set his body on fire. Sanghyuk jerked off for the first time, thinking that it was the older that was touching him. Sadly, he was always ‘the adorable dongsaeng’ whenever Taekwoon introduced him to others. His heart was always broken when the older introduced his boyfriends and mended when the older went back to being single. Sanghyuk always thought that he was lucky that Taekwoon was gay. And so he tried, with all his might, to innocent hugs to not-so-innocent-skinship with his hyung but Taekwoon never understood. Sanghyuk remained ‘the adorable dongsaeng’.
Jaehwan entered his life when Sanghyuk was 16. The former was 19, he was Taekwoon’s junior in university. They were both in the music club and Sanghyuk became good friends with Jaehwan. But Jaehwan felt more than just normal friendship towards the boy and eventually he asked Sanghyuk out. Sanghyuk agreed but it was not because he felt the same way. Taekwoon was dating someone else at the moment and Sanghyuk became corrupted by jealousy. He thought that he could make Taekwoon jealous if he realised that Sanghyuk was dating someone else and not spending time with Taekwoon.
It failed. Taekwoon instead, expressed happiness that Jaehwan got together with Sanghyuk. He felt happy for Sanghyuk. Eventually, Sanghyuk used his boyfriend as a substitute for Taekwoon. He slept with Jaehwan for the first time, thinking that it was Taekwoon. Jaehwan knew but kept pretending to not know. It hurt but he still hoped Sanghyuk would come around eventually. Sanghyuk never did. They broke up after a year together, Jaehwan could no longer act happy whenever Sanghyuk held him with the thought of using him to replace Taekwoon.
“I wish you will find your happiness, Sanghyuk. Stop chasing after what is not yours.” But Sanghyuk did not understand and Jaehwan left to further his studies overseas, praying that the younger would open his eyes eventually. But Sanghyuk did not.
Sanghyuk hated Hongbin. Hated how the male was able to make Taekwoon showed all kinds of emotions. The very ones he always wanted to see and the ones he could never make Taekwoon show. He gradually came to accept Hongbin. But perhaps deep inside his heart, darkness still existed so when the couple fought and Hongbin came crying to him, he had an idea. He pretended to help Hongbin. Pretended to be the good friend and dongsaeng until he heard the door opened before kissing Taekwoon. It was all intentional. He wanted to break them apart. For a moment, he was devastated about the accident and then he was not when he heard that the older might not wake up. He acted guilty, he pleaded for forgiveness from Taekwoon and being the soft-hearted one, Taekwoon forgave him. This time, Sanghyuk decided on a subtle approach. He felt that he was close to winning Taekwoon’s heart but Hongbin had to wake up.
It began with admiration. Then it changed into a crush. It was love but then it became an obsession. Sanghyuk was obsessed with Taekwoon but he could not see it.
Hyuk isn't exactly rotten to the core but he is blinded by jealousy. I wanted to portray a stronger and more obsessed image of him but I think I lost my way somewhere and it didn't manage to come out the way I wanted.
Thanks for reading and I hope you are having a great day :)
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