Seungcheol paused in the hallway of Jihoon’s apartment. What on earth was Kwon Soonyoung doing here? He grits his teeth and Soonyoung did not seem to be backing down either. The photo of a crying Seuncheol and grumpy Jihoon in the sandbox when they were kids stood framed in the living room, right in the middle of the two Directors.

~

20 years ago~~~

Seungcheol was sitting in the sandbox, building a sandcastle. He saw his mother in the distance and excitedly waved at her, his mother smiling, and waving back at him. Just then, he noticed a small boy (much smaller than him) with pale skin and apple red cheeks approaching him. He stared, the boy was simply adorable. The said boy seemed extremely grumpy, huffing with a frown etched on his face. The boy was nearing Seungcheol and he had held his breath. Was he going to say hi? But his thoughts were interrupted when he saw sand flying across his vision. The small boy had kicked his sandcastle apart and stood at the side, hands crossed over his chest. Seungcheol’s heart broke. His precious sandcastle that he was building with so much effort came crumbling apart and it was all because of this new kid! His eyes started tearing, and soon enough the waterworks released itself and Seungcheol bawled.

“Lee Jihoon! How could you kick that boy’s sandcastle like that! Apologise!” Jihoon’s mother ran towards the commotion and reprimanded her son. Not long after, she was joined by Mrs Choi beside her.

“Oh my! It’s alright! Seungcheol needs to learn to let go. Come on dear, it’s just a sandcastle, we could build it together again.”

Mrs Choi was observing the sight in front of her. A bawling Seungcheol with an adorably mad Jihoon. She pulled out her phone and snapped a quick picture. Seungcheol swore that his mom was a freaking sadist sometimes.

Mrs Lee pulled Mrs Choi aside. “I’m so sorry for what Jihoon did. He isn’t normally like that at all. I’ll be sure to discipline him. Could I maybe buy something for your son? Like an ice-cream or some candy?”

“Oh there is absolutely no need to! Seungcheol is a cry baby. He needs to man up. Just leave him be and he would calm down after a while”

Very naturally, the two women fell into a conversation, both chatting like they were long-time friends. Seungcheol had stopped crying by the time the mothers approached both their children. Seungcheol was glaring at Jihoon, who was pouting, arm still folded across his chest.

“Seungcheol! I have invited Mrs Lee and Jihoon over to play next week! You’ll finally have a play buddy! Aren’t you excited?”

“Jihoon, did you hear that? Be nice and make friends with Seungcheol okay?”

Seungcheol was seven years old at that time while Jihoon was six. That was their very first meeting, and Seungcheol hated Jihoon.

~

As mentioned earlier, Seungcheol’s mother could be a sadist and she kept inviting the Lees over to their place despite his protests. She insisted that Jihoon could be his best friend. He could have gagged. But over the months of constant visiting, and forced play dates, the two boys eventually did become ‘friends’. They started out awkward, barely talking and played separately. They then progressed to playing games together, to them talking about their likes, dislikes and then they talked about their day, feelings and without them knowing, the bond they formed would soon become unbreakable.

~

“Jihoon catch!” Seungcheol cried out as he barged through the door of Jihoon’s room, throwing a basketball towards the said male.

“Ouch! Choi Seungcheol! It freaking hurts!” The ball had landed square on his face (partly due to his lack of fast reflexes) and rolled on the floor.

“Haha sorry Jihoon. I’m just really excited! I made the basketball team!”

“Wow! Congrats Seungcheol! You totally deserve it.” Jihoon’s eyes had literally lit up, smile gracing his entire face.

Seungcheol beamed back and plopped beside Jihoon on his bed. He fell back and laid down, “The only reason I was able to get in was because you kept pushing me and refusing to let me give up.”

“It’s all on you Cheol. If you had really meant to give up, my words would mean nothing.”

“Thanks. I mean it,” Seungcheol had nudged the fifteen-year-old Jihoon in his ribs. “and its hyung. I am a year older you know.”

“Shut up, you and I both know it would be weird if I really did start calling you hyung.” Jihoon chuckled and fell back on his bed beside Seungcheol.

The two males had been together for a whole eight years and they were practically joined at the hips. As Seungcheol was a year older, he was a grade higher, but other than the time for classes, where one was, the other would also be found. Their dynamics just worked like that. They were inseparable, almost a single person. Friendship worked in funny ways.

They were stark opposites. Seungcheol was loud and boisterous, Jihoon quiet and reserved. Seungcheol was sporty and Jihoon was musically inclined. Seungcheol loved the outdoors but Jihoon preferred chilling at home, humming out tunes on his guitar. But they had complimented each other perfectly. It was like they were the perfect contrast and had fit like jigsaw pieces.

~

Jihoon had just entered high school and was extremely excited to start afresh. Middle school had been a pain, especially the last year when Seungcheol had graduated, leaving him to survive alone. But now, he could build a new image for himself, and the best part was that he was in the same school as Seungcheol, and this really needed no explanation.

The two males still hung out together every day. They would crash the other’s room and the venue would often alternate, with Seungcheol crashing Jihoon’s room one day, and another day Jihoon could be seen lounging on Seungcheol’s beanbag. It was a routine, and despite being in different schools for the past year, this setup never changed. Until one day, Jihoon had entered Seungcheol’s room, fingers playing with the hem of his shirt.

“Seungcheol, I have something I have been meaning to tell you.”

“Oh Jihoon! Yeah, whats up?”

“Erm, do you know Shin Wonho?”

“Shin Wonho… that third year?”

“Yeah him. I erm… We are kind of dating.”

Seungcheol froze. “What? When? Why am I only hearing this now? Congratulations man!!! You’ve been having the biggest crush on him for months!”

Jihoon lets out the breath he didn’t realise he had been holding. “Yeah… He asked me out last week. I can’t believe he had been liking me back this whole time!”

“I’m so happy for you Jihoon!”

Jihoon beamed, not realising that Seungcheol’s radiant smile did not reach his eyes. “Thanks Seungcheol, Your support means so much to me.”

~

They were both chilling in Jihoon’s room, when Seungcheol broke the silence. “What do you like about Shin Wonho?”

“What? Why the sudden question?”

“Hmm, you could say I’m gathering feedback.”

“Is this about the guy who has been staring at you throughout class?”

“Jeonghan has not been staring at me.”

“Not from what I have heard.”

Rolling his eyes, Seungcheol pouted. “Just answer my question Jihoon.”

“Alright alright. Sheesh. Hmm let me see. He has amazing abs, like have you seen them!”

“Ergh Jihoon! I’m being serious here!”

Jihoon broke out into a loud, hearty laughter, hands clutching his stomach, soon after, Seungcheol was laughing with him.

~

That month, Seungcheol had been hitting the gym every single day. Lines of muscle was soon visible under his uniform. Jihoon had commented one day, “What are you working out so hard for Cheol? Is this for that Yoon Jeonghan?”

Seungcheol raised his eyebrows, “This” he said as he pointed to his abs that was slightly visible, “is for my health.”

“Right. It totally is because of staying fit and keeping healthy.”

~

Seungcheol headed to the back of the school, a note buried in his hand. Yoon Jeonghan had asked to meet after school, saying that he had something very important to tell him. Seungcheol could kind of see where the conversation would be heading.

“I like you Choi Seungcheol.”

Those words were predicted, but Seungcheol could never predict the look of conviction and uncertainty on Jeonghan’s face. He looked so afraid, yet confident. It was fascinating. He gulped. How could he say no and trample on people’s emotions like that? Love can never be forced, but perhaps it could be cultivated.

~

“Choi Seungcheol! How dare you!” Jihoon had burst through Seungcheol’s room and closed in on the boy.

“What?!”

“Since when were you dating Yoon Jeonghan and why did I have to hear this from Sunmi?!”

“Oh… That… Well, we got together last week? It isn’t that big of a deal.”

“Isn’t that big of a deal?! Dude! Yoon Jeonghan is like the resident angel! You totally scored big time!”

“I’ve seen better to be honest.”

“Ergh. You’re hopeless.”

~

Seungcheol was in his last year of high school and his relationship with Jeonghan was still going strong, they were going to be celebrating their 300^th day together that Thursday. Jihoon likewise was still together with Wonho.

Thursday came in a blink of an eye, and Seungcheol was in his room, putting on his tie. He had to leave in about half an hour, pick Jeonghan up and take him to that very nice and fancy restaurant for dinner. Roses and everything prepared. He opened his front door, ready to head out when he came face to face with Jihoon. His cheeks were stained with tears, eyes and nose were red.

“Jihoon?! What the happened?” Seungcheol almost screamed, pulling Jihoon into his arms and into the house.

“Cheol…” Jihoon had hugged back just as tightly, fresh tears breaking out.

“Cheol… We… I…”

“Shhh Shh. It’s okay. Just cry if you want to. I’m here.”

Both males were seated on the couch, Jihoon still in Seungcheol’s embrace.

“We broke up. Wonho said he was tired. He could no longer pretend that he still had feelings for me.”

“That bastard! Don’t waste your tears on him Jihoon. He is not worth it.”

“I feel so lost Cheol. I knew this would happen. We got into more fights and he was uninterested every time I met him. I saw it coming! But I… I…”

“You can’t predict your emotions Jihoon. That is why we feel it, not calculate it in our minds.”

“I’m so sorry for just barging in like that.”

“Don’t be ing stupid. I was free anyway.”

“Could you stay with me for a while?”

“Always.”

Seungcheol’s phone which was left forgotten on the table, vibrated endlessly.

~

Jihoon was fast asleep on the couch when Seungcheol got up and picked up his phone. Upon seeing twenty-eight missed calls and endless texts from Jeonghan, he cursed under his breath. What surprised him was the most recent text which was an hour ago, at 10pm. Meet me at the café near school. I will not leave till you show yourself. Heaving a sigh, he grabbed his wallet and with a final glance at the sleeping figure, he walked out of his house.

~

From outside the café, he could see Jeonghan sitting by the window, expression unreadable. Seungcheol braced himself as he approached his boyfriend. “I’m so sorry Jeonghan, but something important came up.”

“Today was our 300^th day together.”

“I know I know. I’m so sorry.”

“And you didn’t even answer any of my calls or texts.”

“I was really preoccupied. I have no excuses. It’s entirely my fault”

“And what exactly was so important that you ditched me on our anniversary!” Jeonghan snapped and slammed the table.

Seungcheol flinched. “I said I was sorry Jeonghan. I had hoped you could be more understanding.”

“Is this because of what I think it is?”

“No Jeonghan. Don’t assume things you don’t understand.” Seungcheol had finally looked into Jeonghan’s eyes, his stare hardening.

Jeonghan frowned, “Don’t look at me like that Seungcheol.”

“What?”

“Stop looking at me like as if I am Jihoon. Just stop. I see the change okay. It hurts every time your eyes stop sparkling the moment you realise it’s just me, plain old Jeonghan. I will never be Jihoon.”

Seungcheol gaped.

“That’s all that I wanted to say to you. We are done Seungcheol.” With that said, Jeonghan stormed out of the café, leaving Seungcheol stunned and confused. Jihoon is just a best friend.

When he got home that night, Jihoon was waiting in his room, clean from taking a bath and dressed in one of his tees that was too large for the small boy.

“Where did you go? Did Jeonghan call to meet you?”

Seungcheol admits, “We broke up.”

That night, both males laid in Seungcheol’s bed, Jihoon patting his back, whispering comforting words. Words that told Seungcheol that he was better than this, that he did not need to feel sad. But honestly, Seungcheol could not find it in him to be. Not when Jihoon was lying in his arms, not when his head was tucked under Seungcheol’s chin, not when their chest rose and fell to the exact same rhythm.

Jihoon is just a best friend.

~~~~

Seungcheol sits in the chair of his office, staring up at the ceiling. Jihoon’s question from days ago rings in his head. “When did you last play pretend?”

He thinks. When exactly did he last play pretend? He doesn’t know anymore.

During the day, he pretends that Jihoon and him are just friends. Pretends that he doesn’t want to envelop him in his arms. He pretends that he doesn’t want to press Jihoon against the wall and to kiss him senseless. He pretends to wish Jihoon happiness with someone else.

But when twilight falls and his head hits the pillow, mind drifting off to oblivion, Seungcheol pretends once again. He pretends that he is the world to Jihoon. He pretends that Jihoon looks at him the same way that he looks at the younger. He pretends that Jihoon loves him too.

Seuncheol wonders when he last played pretend.

Maybe the answer was that he never stopped.

Authors note:

Hey people! For those who don’t know, the text between the ~~~ is a flashback to their lives as they grew up. And the last part after the final ~~~ is like a snippet of Seungcheol’s thoughts. Effectively it is a flash back but it’s in reference to chapter 2 when Jihoon first asked Seungcheol the play pretend question.

This chapter was honestly the only reason why I added the part about Seungcheol in the description of this story. I absolutely love jicheol and it pains me. But what needs to be done needs to be done. This idea was in my head for a really long time and I kind of wrote some of it in my phone, waiting for the perfect time to post some jicheol!

Besides, I wanted to dedicate chapter 8 to Cheol, because 8/8/1995? Ya know what I mean? 8 is like made for Seungcheol.

Hope you enjoyed it and let me know if you would like more of Seungcheol’s side! :D