Soonyoung sighed as he flipped through the proposal in his hand. He found it extremely difficult to concentrate on his work when there were honestly more important things on his mind. He was shaken from his thoughts as he felt his phone vibrate against his thigh. He answered the call without even looking at the caller ID. “Hello.”

“Soonyoung! The dinner is in five days. Pick me up at seven sharp.” The voice on the other line chimed.

Soonyoung grit his teeth. “Jung Hyeyoung. Did you say anything to Jihoon?”

The line went silent. “What are you talking about?”

“Did you say anything to Lee Jihoon? I swear, if you did, you had better own up now.”

“Soon-? Oh sorry, the reception here is really bad. I’ll see you for the dinner.” The line cut off and Soonyoung sighed as he threw his phone angrily onto the couch.

The day was already ending soon, a new day to come. A day nearer to that stupid dinner. Soonyoung laid his head on his table. Maybe he was not the one for Jihoon.

~

Day five.

The sunlight streamed into the office, waking Soonyoung from his position on the couch. He laid there blankly, not even moving an inch, even when Seokmin entered and sat on the table before him.

“You alright man? You have been closing yourself from the world.” Seokmin asked worriedly.

“I’ll be fine when Jihoon talks to me.” Soonyoung mumbled, eyes hollow.

Seokmin smiles pitifully. “Soonyoung, do you really like Jihoon?”

“The word 'like' is not enough to describe what I feel for him. But I guess I’m just different. I’m not the one he wants. I’ll never be the guy.”

“So now what. You’re just going to give up? Just because the man has been ignoring you? Dude, you are the one who ed up by playing this dumb game. You wanted to pretend! Then you fell for him and now you want to give up?” Seokmin said exasperatedly.

Soonyoung grew mad. He got up from his previous position to glare at Seokmin. “What do you want me to say? What the should I even do? Jihoon does not even want to breathe the same air as me! Have you not see him avoid me like the plague? How am I even going to apologise? How am I even supposed to fix things?”

The blonde fell back onto the couch, whispering, “How am I even going to tell him that I love him?”

The sight before him broke Seokmin’s heart. Soonyoung was never like that. He was never so torn over a person ever since Jung Hyeyoung the .

~

“Jihoon.”

Jihoon got up from his seat, and moved to the shelf to pull out a file. “Yes Seungcheol? What do you want.”

The older smiled weakly. “Are you okay Jihoonie?”

“I’m great.” The smaller said almost too quickly.

Seungcheol folded his arms against his chest, “You lost weight, and you look as white as a ghost. You are most absolutely not great.”

Jihoon returned behind his desk. “Seungcheol, I just need time.”

“You being hurt pains me Jihoon.”

The smaller nods appreciatively, “Thanks Cheol, but I will survive. Don’t worry about me.”

Seungcheol decided against arguing with the smaller. He did not need Jihoon’s acceptance to see how broken the younger was. When Seungcheol asked Jihoon to breakup with Soonyoung, he was expecting liberation. A sigh of relief from the smaller. He definitely did not expect to see sunken eyes and tear marks on Jihoon’s face every morning. He almost regretted egging the other to breakup with Soonyoung, but what the two had was going to end badly either way.

“Anyway, Saturday at my place. Call Seungkwan along.” Seungcheol reminded before he left to finish his own work.

Jihoon’s eyes never left his own files. “Will do.”

~

Day four.

“Seokmin, I am not hungry.” Soonyoung said as he moved into one of the booths of their favourite ramen place. He used to have lunch dates with Jihoon here.

“You have not been eating properly Soonyoung. You need to eat like a human again.”

“I have been eating fine.”

“You can’t survive on air!”

“I can try!” Soonyoung huffed indignantly. Seokmin was not doing a very good job of letting him wallow in self-pity.

Seokmin pulls out the menu and glances through the pages. “Besides, I think you would like to meet this person.

Ten minutes later, Seungkwan slides into the booth to sit beside Seokmin. Soonyoung looks unimpressed, “When you said I would want to meet someone, I hope you did not refer to redhead here.”

“Rude!” Seungkwan retaliated. “You do realise that I am one of Jihoon’s precious friends?”

Soonyoung droned on, “I thought you were going to ask Jihoon over. But nooo… redhead is here instead. Now how does this make me feel any way better Lee Seokmin?”

Seungkwan slammed his hand onto the table, causing the two males to jump in surprise. “Look here Kwon Soonyoung. You ed up big time ‘pretending’ with Jihoon. I may be able to help you win him back, but if you are going to continue to such a dickhead, then you can kiss Lee Jihoon goodbye.”

Seungkwan got up, ready to leave, when a hand shot out to grab onto his sleeve. On the other end of the hand, the blonde bowed his hand meekly. “Sorry. Please stay.”

Now with steaming bowls of ramen before them, food calming their nerves, Soonyoung started the conversation. "How did you know?”

Seungkwan shrugged. “What? That you and Jihoon were pretending to be in a relationship? You two were too damn obvious.”

“And there were too many loopholes for it to be realistic.” Seokmin chimed in.

Soonyoung groaned, taking a long swig of the pork bone soup. “So why are you helping me now red?”

“That’s because you became too obvious.” Seungkwan answered back.

Soonyoung looked up from his bowl to stare into Seungkwan’s eyes questioningly. Too obvious?

“It became too obvious that you fell for him. Hard.”

Seokmin added, “ing hard.”

Soonyoung confessed, “I don’t know what to do anymore. He hates me. I swear he does. He will not even look at he. Heck! He doesn’t even want to be within a ten metre radius of me!”

Seokmin leaned over to pat Soonyoung on his shoulder. Seungkwan spoke up. “Jihoon does not hate you Director Kwon.”

The blonde stilled.

“Every morning, Jihoon makes these matcha drinks and just stares at them. He does not even drink them hot. He just stares at the green liquid till it turns cold and downs it in one shot. He doesn’t touch coffee as much anymore. Bet you didn’t know that.”

Soonyoung smiled. He did not know that.

~

Day three.

“Jihoon, you should try forgiving blondie over there.” Seungkwan mutters from the couch in Jihoon’s office.

The said male looks up from his files, raising an eyebrow.

“Even though it started out as pretence, you cannot deny that you feel something for him. You fell for him Jihoon.”

Jihoon sputtered out, “Wha- How did you?”

Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “You two were so obvious, even the blind could see it was fake. Can you stop playing hard to get and just talk to him? You’re hurting both yourself and him by avoiding him.”

“There is nothing to talk about. He has Jung Hyeyoung. It was about time to end it anyway.”

Seungkwan did not want to fight with Jihoon. Winning against a broken male trying to deny his feelings would not feel good anyway. “Oh yeah? Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t like Kwon Soonyoung.”

Jihoon turns back to his paperwork. “I have work to do Seungkwan. If you would please leave me to my devices.”

“Sure.” The redhead shakes his head as he leaves.

~

Day two.

“Have you picked out a suit?”

“What for?”

Seokmin laughs, “The gala dinner is in two days Soonyoung.”

“Right. I’ll just wear whatever.”

Seokmin snaps his fingers before the blonde, “The dinner will be broadcasted nationwide. It is the biggest fundraiser for the underprivileged in South Korea. Your face and what you wear included will be shown live on TV.”

Soonyoung smiles at his lap. He would have to go with Hyeyoung, he had no choice. He would have to sit beside her and act jolly for the whole of South Korea to see. He would have to smile even though Jihoon still would not talk to him. He hopes Jihoon would not tune in to watch the broadcast.

~

Day one.

Jihoon walks into the lounge, mug in one hand, a sachet of matcha in the other. He stops dead in his tracks when he looks up to see a certain blonde.

“Jihoon…”

The said male swirled around a full one-eighty and was about to leave when he felt warm hands grab onto his wrists. He hears Soonyoung’s sultry voice fill his ears. Oh he misses his voice so damn much. Jihoon feels his heart wrench and clenches his eyes, willing his tears to not fall.

“Don’t go. Stay. I’m almost done here. I’ll go, I know you don’t want to see me anyway.”

Jihoon feels the warmth of Soonyoung’s hand disappear and hears shuffling of footsteps and scratching of pen on paper. Soonyoung walks past him and heads back to his own office. Jihoon releases his breath and slumped against the table. He tries to calm his raging heart as he whispers to no one in particular, “No… Stay…”

He turns to fill his mug with hot water when he catches his breath. There on the table was a blue post-it. Written in messy handwriting was a simple note. Don’t overwork yourself. It pains me.

Jihoon picks up the note and crumples it. With shaking hands, he throws the post-it into the metal bin before he hastily retreats back to his office so no one can see him cry.

~

Soonyoung packs his bag as he ends his day early. Tomorrow was going to be a long day and he honestly deserved a good rest. He had to be 100% ready to act for the whole night. He laughs to himself. He must have really loved Jihoon a lot considering he felt energised rather than drained when he ‘acted’ with him. It was a little too late now wasn’t it? He leaves his office and feels Seokmin pat his back reassuringly. He smiles weakly and turns to leave.

Seungkwan entered Jihoon’s office at around 10pm. “Jihoon, go home and sleep.”

“I still have some loose ends to tie up.” The smaller mutters.

Seungkwan huffed and pulled Jihoon up from his seat. The redhead stuffs Jihoon’s things into his bag and pushes it into his hands. Dragging the smaller male out of his own office he shoves Jihoon away and closes his office door behind him. “Go home.”

Jihoon sighs and smooths the creases on his shirt. “Okay then. Off my computer for me. Don’t forget. Seungcheol’s place at six.”

“Got it!” Seungkwan beamed as he watched Jihoon shuffle out of the office and into the lift.

Seungkwan hums to himself as he switches off Jihoon’s laptop and closes it shut. Although what he sees instead stops him in his place. There on Jihoon’s table was a blue post-it. It was too obvious that there were weak attempts at trying to straighten out its crumpled state. Jihoon was honestly an idiot.

~

Soonyoung buttoned his vest as he pulls on his suit jacket. It was almost 6:30pm. He would have to pick Hyeyoung up soon. The woman called him earlier in the day to remind him to come pick her up by 7. It was almost like she was trying to prevent him from running away from this evening, which was a smart move on her part. Soonyoung would most probably run away if it weren’t for Hyeyoung’s incessant calls. He was best at running away anyway.

~

Jihoon enters Seungcheol’s apartment and falls onto the couch. “Hey Cheol.”

“Jihoonie! You’re on time!” Seungcheol emerged from his bedroom, pulling on a t-shirt.

“Rude. I’m always punctual.”

Seungcheol scoffs but does not say anything else. The older moves into the kitchen to make some popcorn while the two wait for Seungkwan to arrive.

~

Hyeyoung enters the car and puts on her seatbelt. “Thanks for picking me up Soonyoungie!”

Soonyoung made no move to reply.

The woman did not give up. “Let’s try to enjoy this okay? The dinner will be broadcast live. Please just act normal Soonyoung.”

The blonde replies monotonously, “This is my normal.” My normal ever since Jihoon walked out of my life.

Hyeyoung begrudgingly returned her gaze to the road before her.

~

“Pizza and beer!!” Seungkwan cries out as he crashes into Seungcheol’s apartment.

“About time you little ! Now give me a slice of Hawaiian.” Jihoon reaches out for the pizza boxes balanced against Seungkwan’s body as Seungcheol reaches for the packs of cold beer in the bag on his other hand.

“Hey! The food is not the main attraction! I am!”

Jihoon deadpans, “You’re the bonus. Now hand me the food.”

Seungcheol laughs as he pops open a can of beer and hands it over to Jihoon. He switches on the television and they watch X-men that was playing on the cable network.

~

Soonyoung arrives at the venue of the dinner and steps out of his car. He hands his keys over to the valet as he walks to the end of the red carpet, cameras flashing as reporters cried out for him to look in their direction. Hyeyoung waits for Soonyoung to open the door for her, but upon noticing that the blonde did not plan on moving an inch, she opened the car door herself and stepped out into the limelight in all of her gorgeous glory. She hooks her arm in Soonyoung’s (albeit a little forcefully as the male was not making it easy for her) and trots down the red carpet, basking in all the attention.

The two of them take their seats on their table as the rest of the guests start to flood in. The dinner only starts at around 7:30pm and the performances takes place on the stage before the ballroom. The flashes of bright light still surround them, clicks of the camera filling the air. A much larger camera swings around the room, a camera man sitting behind the contraption, trying to capture the performance and the reactions from the various guests.

He feels Hyeyoung nudge him as he spoons his truffle soup into his mouth.

“Can you try to smile? You look dead.”

Soonyoung picks at his lobster. “I feel dead.”

Hyeyoung frowns and almost slams her fork on the table. Instead, she collects herself and smiles again. “Soonyoung. Please co-operate. I’m sure this is not what Jihoon would have wanted.” Hyeyoung returns to her salad and beams at the camera as it pans over their faces.

It was such a stupid sight to behold. Hyeyoung looking elegant and absolutely thrilled to be there, whereas Soonyoung on the hand was stunned and unmoving.

~

The credits started to roll on the screen when Seungkwan grabbed the remote control from the table. He flipped through the channels on the TV, trying to find something entertaining. Behind him on the couch was Jihoon nursing his second can of beer and Seungcheol who finished his third. Seungkwan stilled when the television showed the gala dinner broadcasting live before them. Seungkwan immediately switched the channel and turned back from his position on the floor to look at Jihoon. “Sorry hyung. It was an accident.”

Jihoon snorts as he snatches the remote control from Seungkwan’s hand. “Don’t be stupid. Let’s watch it.”

Jihoon switches the channel back and Seungkwan swallows the ball forming in his throat as he watches various guests stand up from their position to speak.

~

The emcee on stage clapped his hand. “Thank you Mr. Choi. And today, we have a special guest, the world renowned designer Ms. Jung Hyeyoung! She is accompanied by Mr. Kwon Soonyoung today. Don’t they look the absolute cutest?”

The crowd claps as the camera pans towards the said couple.

Jihoon gasps ever so slightly as Soonyoung’s face fills the television screen. Hyeyoung was right beside him, her hands holding Soonyoung’s on the table. Jihoon sees her smile and stand from her seat. He clutches to his beer can.

Hyeyoung tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and addresses the crowd. “Thank you everyone. It is my honour to be invited to such a prestigious event. It has been an amazing night. It was made more perfect with Soonyoung here beside me. We are very much in love with each other and I hope for everyone’s support.”

Soonyoung hears the crowd coo around him, but his blood ran cold. “Is this what you said?”

“Baby?” Hyeyoung questions in a bit of panic as Soonyoung gets up from his seat with a deafening screech.

Jihoon’s heart clench as Hyeyoung professes her love. Their love. He sees Seungkwan and Seungcheol watch him from the corner of his eyes. He wants to tell them that he is fine. Watching this is fine, he feels nothing anyway. He wants to tell them that, but nothing leaves his lips.

Soonyoung spoke lowly, but the cameras were still able to pick up his words. “Is that what you told Jihoon? That we love each other?”

Hyeyoung takes a tentative step back before she reaches to touch Soonyoung’s cheek. “Babe, but we are-“

Soonyoung swipes her hand away before her hand reaches his skin. Soonyoung speaks with finality in his voice. “I don’t love you Hyeyoung. I’m in love with Jihoon.”

The crowd gasps and the camera zooms in. Soonyoung looks straight into the camera. He really wishes Jihoon was watching the broadcast now.

On the other end of the screen, Jihoon sat rooted to his place as Soonyoung’s eyes bore into his very own. His heart raced as Soonyoung’s words replayed in his head. He sees Soonyoung open his mouth and hears the words leaving it. “Jihoon, I love yo-“

Jihoon abruptly switches the channel as the images of the Simpsons played on the screen.

“Hey! I was watching that!” Seungkwan shouted indignantly as he snatched the control from Jihoon’s limp hands. The redhead promptly switched the channel back to the gala dinner. The screen follows Soonyoung as he runs out of the ballroom, and the camera pans back to Hyeyoung who fell back onto her seat, looking stricken. “Damn it! Jihoon! Why did you do that!”

Jihoon was numb. Soonyoung loved him? He rejected Hyeyoung in front of a live broadcast. Why? He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Jihoon knew who it was. It had to be. He got up from his seat, legs slightly shaking. “I’m leaving.”

Seungcheol now gets up and grabs onto Jihoon’s arm. “You’ve had something to drink. You should not be driving home.”

“I’ll be fine.” Jihoon pulls apart from Seungcheol’s grip before bolting out of the door, his phone still vibrating in his pocket before it comes to a stop. Less than five seconds later, it starts to vibrate again.

~

“C’mon Jihoon! Where are you!” Soonyoung slams his hands against his steering wheel. After running out of the ballroom, Soonyoung was a 110% sure of what he wanted to do. He has had enough of denying his love for Jihoon. There! He said it. Soonyoung screamed, “I love you Jihoon! I ing love you like crazy!” He attempted to call Jihoon again, but he only gets redirected to the smaller’s voicemail. Soonyoung never stops calling.

~

Jihoon races to his apartment. He was exhausted. He just wanted to huddle in his sheets and cry. Why was Soonyoung making it so hard to leave him? Why was Soonyoung doing this to him? Why did his heart call out for Soonyoung? Why? Jihoon pulls into a parking space and he made a beeline for his apartment. He was ready to fly through his front door any moment when he stops in his tracks.

Soonyoung got up from his crouched position before Jihoon’s apartment. “There you are.” The blonde whispered, as he walked towards the brunette.

Jihoon’s voice caught in his throat as he stared at the blonde with glassy orbs. “Soonyoung… What…”

“I called you like crazy? Why didn’t you pick up? I was worried sick.” Soonyoung reaches out to wipe a tear that leaked down Jihoon’s face.

“I-“ Jihoon sniffled as more stray tears flowed down his face. He angrily wiped his face with his palm.

“Shh, don’t cry. I’m here now.” Soonyoung gently pulls Jihoon into his warm embrace. Soonyoung wraps his arms around Jihoon’s waist and breathes the smaller in. “Hmm... I miss this. I miss you.”

Jihoon lets himself cry. He does not bother holding back as he wails into Soonyoung’s shoulder. He knew it was disgusting, with snot running down his face and tears staining Soonyoung’s suit. But when Soonyoung gazes into his eyes with the most loving expression a human could have, Jihoon breaks out into fresh tears all over again. Soonyoung pats Jihoon’s back, soothing him with comforting words as he kisses the crown of Jihoon’s head. Soonyoung hold Jihoon's head within his hands and kisses the smaller’s eyes as Jihoon continued to cry, his hand placed over Soonyoung’s bigger ones on the side of his face. Soonyoung leaned forward to kiss Jihoon’s lips, disregarding the fact that the brunette was still sobbing. Oh how he had missed this soft lips.

“I love you Lee Jihoon. I love you so much.” Soonyoung whispers against Jihoon’s lips as he leans in to claim them again.

Jihoon kissed back and hiccups. He tried to stop crying but fails. Soonyoung thumbs Jihoon’s cheek and smiles ever so slightly.

“I love you too.”

Jihoon mustered all his courage and whispered the words to Soonyoung. The smile that lighted the blonde’s face up was bright enough to rival the sun. Soonyoung pulled Jihoon back into a tight bear hug. Jihoon wraped his arms around Soonyoung and hugged back with just as much need and want. But Jihoon knew he had to say the next few words.

“But we can’t be together.”

Soonyoung pulled away, smile torn from his face, replaced with distraught, fear and pain. “Why? Jihoon, I love you! And you just said you love me too! So why!”

Jihoon gripped onto the front of Soonyoung’s suit. “This is too messed up Soonyoung. We fell in love when we shouldn’t have. It’s just too much that we have yet to come to terms with.”

Soonyoung deflated. He had hurt Jihoon once and he had made a promise to himself that he would do whatever Jihoon wanted him to do. He would do anything for Jihoon. Soonyoung felt the tears well up in his eyes as he tucked Jihoon in his arms again. Jihoon buries his face into Soonyoung’s chest.

“I love you Jihoon.”

“I know.”

“You just said you love me too.”

“I know.” Jihoon hears the crack in Soonyoung’s voice as he fails miserably at holding back tears. Jihoon clenches his eyes shut and fists the material of Soonyoung’s suit in his hands.

“You said you love me back.”

“I did.”

“So why.”

“I’m sorry Soonyoung.” Jihoon feels Soonyoung shoulder shake as sobs left his lips.

Silence filled the air as Jihoon remained in Soonyoung's safe arms.

“Then can we be friends?”

Jihoon freezes and looks up at Soonyoung’s face. His nose was red and eyes swollen. Ugly tears streamed down his sunken cheeks. Soonyoung was a wreck but so damn beautiful.

“If we can’t be lovers, can we at least be friends?” Soonyoung pleads.

Jihoon’s defences came crumbling down as he tip-toed to place a chaste kiss on Sonyoung’s lips.

“Of course. We can be friends.”

Soonyoung buried his nose into the crown Jihoon’s head. The two share a silent embrace, warm and loving.

“Okay.” Soonyoung whispered between his sobs.

“Okay.” Jihoon whispered back between his tears.