Things You Said That Made Me Feel Like .

Youngjae and Jaebum were in the kitchen, quietly having breakfast and getting their bodies and minds ready for the day ahead of them. Youngjae was quietly meditating while drinking his cup of his favorite, jasmine, tea, as he was supposed to get interviewed today for a position of the head manager of the children’s mental facility he had been working for about six months.

Jaebum was trying to calm himself down as today was the big day when all of the investors and CEOs were going to be sitting in one room and discussing the future of the company and the brand it’s seeking.

“Hyung, are you going to be late today?” Youngjae asked, finishing his tea and heading out.

“Probably” Jaebum was sure he was going to be late, as he had been partying and drinking with all the big CEOs to get on their good side almost every day, which was where he would meet all types of women looking for ‘sugar daddies’. Jaebum was, of course, far from interested in them. But for the sake of his company he had to be calm and act as if he liked it all.

“Good luck today, hyung, then, bye, love you” Youngjae said and left, hurrying to see all of his adorable little patients, who all adored Youngjae and his smooth honey voice.

“Yeah” Jaebum muttered, not listening to Youngjae and only thinking about the possible horrible ways today’s meeting could go in.

**

“Youngjae, congratulations, we as the head of his facility, think you would be perfect for the job” the kind looking man, who was the director and the main psychiatrist, said with a big smile on his face.

“Thank you, sir, thank you so much” Youngjae shook his hand, beaming.

The first person Youngjae thought of calling was Jaebum. Obviously. Youngjae excitedly dialed the number he recognized by his heart, the number that he could probably never forget.

“What’s wrong” Jaebum asked as soon as he picked up.

“Nothing, I was just calling…” Youngjae was a bit surprised by the cold tone but didn’t let it bring his good mood down and decided to ignore it.

“If nothing’s wrong, then we can talk about it later, okay, I’m busy” Jaebum hung up as soon as he said that, leaving Youngjae speechless for once.

“Sure, I was just calling to say I got promoted and if we could celebrate it tonight, nothing else” Youngjae replied, his voice cracking halfway through his sentence. Why did Youngjae even think it was a good idea to call up Jaebum if Youngjae knew he was busy? It was Youngjae’s own fault.

“Stupid” Youngjae said, not knowing he was calling stupid. Was it himself who called his husband to hear some compliments and praises and possible get asked to go on a date, something the two of them hadn’t gone in the longest time? Was it Jaebum who hung up on him not even letting him pronounce the words ‘are you proud of me’?

“Cold hearted, stupid bastard” Youngjae said.

“Do you even know why I wanted this stupid position that I don’t even care about?” Youngjae was talking to himself in his new office that was earned by his hardworking self.

“The job of the goddamn head manager offers twice more salary than I was getting” Youngjae shouted, throwing a tantrum and throwing anything that was under his hands. He’d regret it later, but at the moment all he cared about was selfish and stupid Im Jae Bum, who used to make Youngjae feel as if he had put the stars in the sky.

“I was just trying to help, idiot” Youngjae shouted some more. The happy go lucky therapist Mr. Choi, who could be seen smiling all the time, was now in his new office shouting left and right. The cheerful and optimistic Mr. Choi, who had the most angelic voice; that always had nursery rhymes play in his room and occasionally sang along them, was now ready to jump out of the huge window in his new office and end everything here and now.

“Why do I even try” Youngjae cried.

Never once has Youngjae complained or whined about Jaebum not paying enough attention to him, or has ever given the slightest sign of disappointment whenever Jaebum would cancel on him because of ‘he had things to do’.

But today Youngjae had finally reached his limits. He has had enough.

Everything, the red stains on his blouses, the strong smell of alcohol and women’s sweet perfume, the glare that Youngjae met every night, the angry answers to his questions, everything angered Youngjae.

He couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’m done, hyung” Youngjae whispered.

“I’m done trying”.