The moon was set beautifully high up in the sky. The fire was lit as it illuminates us all, making up a perfect picture of a campfire. Hoseok was telling us all about the story of how he was once hit in the face with a by his sister. It was something along the lines of him catching her sister ing and thus how the came flying in the air and hit him straight in the face.

Everybody laughed at Hoseok's funny story, especially his boyfriend who's all smiles and grin. Yoongi as usual is asleep, occupying one whole log. Jin was grilling some barbecues and would come back from time to time to check on us while Namjoon listened carefully to every story.

But I sat there lifelessly. It's like I'm with them but at the same time I wasn't. I was silent the whole time and I could feel how much Jin was dying to talk to me about earlier based on the sad glances he sends my way. I know he wanted to cheer me up and comfort me but he knows I need my space and I'm utterly thankful for that.

I'm not in the mood to speak or even utter a word. It's like my voice was taken away from me. I couldn't even look at all of them without feeling envious and sad, jealous of how they have their partners together while here I am, all alone.

When the boy completely was out of sight, I felt nothing but emptiness. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to react. Should I be mad? Should I curse him to death, or should I mope? I don't know anymore. Everything— it's all falling apart. The great walls of the empire Jimin and I built were being slowly destructed. I don't know what to feel anymore. I wanna hate him, but I know too damn well that I can't, and I'm afraid that if I keep this up, I'm finally going to shatter and break down into bits of pieces, and Jimin still wouldn't be there.

Everything's so ing messed up in my mind right now. I don't know which voice to follow. I wanna get better, but how could I when my only remedy is him? All these thoughts were slowly consuming me. I want this to stop, I want this to end. I want to be happy again. Jimin please come back to me.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I heard someone said behind. I turned to see a yawning Yoongi, looking like he had just woken up from his sleep. He then stared blankly at me before giving me a brief pat on the head. "Don't worry, he'll come around." he reassured.

"I hate how Jimin's being all papertowns and ." I scrunched my nose in annoyance. He chuckled before plopping down on the sand beside me. "He gave me yet another useless letter, to what? To make me miss him more? Oh that son of a ."

"Easy there, tiger." He laughed, passing me the liquor that Namjoon handed him. "Here, have fun and let loose. If turns south tomorrow, just blame it on the alcohol." he said, opening his can of beer.

The hot liquor burned down every sides and corners of my throat, earning a satisfied sigh from my lips as it reached my system. Eversince he left, alcohol has been my best company. It never really failed to take the pain away. I longed for the temporary amnesia it brings. Because even just for a second, I wanted to forget. I want to let loose under the music without any worries bothering me, and alcohol is best known for doing all that.

"Feels good, huh?" I heard Yoongi say, sighing in refresh as he drank his can. "That certain sting in your throat, that dizz in your head and the bitter taste lingering in your mouth. It's like a drug, alcohol is like a drug." he shrugged.

I just listened at him, nodding along to every word he says. "It's because people like the thrill of mystery. Everybody longs for mystery. People get drunk to let