„My name is Kim Jihye, also known as Kwon Jiyongs girlfriend. Nice to meet you.“

Seungri couldn’t believe it. He felt so stupid. So incredibly stupid. How could he get his hopes up like this? He didn’t even notice that he had hope to begin with but now that it was shattered, ripped apart and violently trampled on he noticed the stinging pain. 

The butterflies were dead.

No. Who was he kidding. He knew well enough that those damn butterflies would be prominent guests for the next- well, who knows. Who knows when he will be able to get over this. Alongside the butterflies there would be a knife though, the knife that would stab his heart every time he was reminded of the fact, that Jiyong and Seungri would never be a thing.

Yes, he was stupid.

He wasn’t the only surprised person amongst the guys though, Daesung, Seunghyun and even Youngbae, Jiyong’s best friend, gasped at the declaration. Seungri, deep in thoughts and drowning in self loathing, didn’t even notice how the heads of the other three members turned to him in shock.

Youngbae was the first one to come back to his senses and turned to look at the leader.

„Jiyong, is that true? She is your girlfriend?“

All eyes were directed at said one now and he squirmed uncomfortably under their glances, searching for Seungri’s eyes instead but the maknae just stared at the ground as if he had never seen something more interesting. Jiyong’s gaze wavered upon noticing Seungri’s hurt expression and he bit his lower lip, not knowing what to do also not wanting to be the center of attention. So he turned to the others to answer them quickly and get it over with.

„Yes it’s true, we are together.“

Stab.

It was so hard not to cry.

Seungri thought he was finally able to be happy and forget his past but now the first person he ever truly wanted to trust and maybe even love broke his heart.

Was Jiyong affectionate with every one? Was Seungri reading too much in the older’s actions, thinking that maybe, just maybe he was a little bit special to the older?

Everybody around him was talking, chatting with Jihye, the gorgeous woman, Jiyong’s girlfriend. Those were big news after all, everyone wanted to know the details. 

Seungri slightly poked Daesung’s arm.

„Hyung, I need to use the restroom, I’ll be back in a few minutes.“ he mumbled, not even looking at the other. Daesung understood and told him it was okay, he would tell the members if somebody asked.

So without another word the youngest left the office unnoticed and like an inconspicuous shadow and as soon as he closed the door behind him the tears were flowing freely as if they were bottled up for years. 

Perhaps they were.

He quickly went to the smaller of the many big bathrooms in this building, hoping to find it empty. Luckily at least that wish was granted and he silently sobbed for himself in one of the stalls, knowing that he would have to calm down, as he would have to go back to YG’s office soon. He was such a cry baby lately.

Actually, Seungri didn’t really know why he was so upset to begin with.

After all him and Jiyong have never declared their love for each other - hell, Seungri wasn’t even sure if it was love at all! It’s not like they’ve been close for years either.

But Jiyong was simply Jiyong, his touches were gentle, his words were caring, his voice was soft, his hugs were protecting and his stares were loving. At least that’s what Seungri thought.

But now, knowing that Jiyong wasn’t his and would never be, it felt way more painful than he had ever imagined.

Did Jiyong know about Seungri’s feelings? Was it because of this that he had this apologetic expression towards him all the time? Was he pitying him? If so he didn’t need that.

Yes he was hurt and yes he would be hurting for an undefined time.

But he never needed pity. 

He was strong.

With that thought the blonde boy wiped his tears and went back to breathing evenly. Exiting the booth he went to the sink and splashed some water in his face, refreshing his probably swollen eyes and face in general.

He wouldn’t let a guy he knew for less than two months break him. How stupid would that be? The only reason it hurt like this was because Jiyong was the first person he truly trusted. Maybe he didn’t even like him that much. It could be a phase, as people like to call it.

With a confident nod Seungri left the bathroom and returned to the office. Before he opened the door he closed his eyes and took a breath in. 

No one can break me! 

He opened his eyes and immediately squinted them. He kind of got angry and while he knew he wouldn’t vent he also wanted everyone to see that he was alright. That he was strong.

With his head held high and one hand in the pocket of his black skinny jeans he entered the room. His cold expression revealed nothing as he passed by most of the people and joined the small talk Youngbae currently had with Jiyong and Jihye.

„I’m Seungri, nice to meet you.“ The youngest said to the woman and gently shook her hand. He still liked her, she was a nice person and not at fault for his stupid feelings, no need to blame her. After she returned the greetings he then turned to face Jiyong and gave him a rather cold smile.

„Congrats, I wish you only the best. Hopefully you will take care of her well.“ he said with a deep voice and a pat on the older’s shoulder. Seungri could see the shock and maybe even hurt in Jiyong’s features and it somehow made him feel good. Not because he wanted to see the leader hurting, no, he still cared about Jiyong, but because Seungri wanted him to see that he didn’t need pity or stupid lies. He could take care of himself just fine, thank you very much!

Without another word he then proceeded to walk over to Daesung and Seunghyun, who seemed to have a delightful conversation on their own. Of course the moment Seungri joined them they immediately stopped talking and looked at him as if not knowing how to handle him right now.

The maknae could only roll his eyes at that behavior.

„Cut it. Everyone seems to think I love him or some but I don’t. It’s true that we are close but not in that way, so stop staring at me as if I want to kill myself.“ To be honest, Seungri was quite surprised and a little impressed at his ability to lie, but the other two still seemed to be uncertain.

„They are cute together, it really doesn’t bother me. I don’t see Jiyong like that, we are friends, maybe a bit touchy feely, but still only friends. As you can see, clearly.“ He pointed at the couple and smiled as sincerely as he could manage.

His hyungs bought it.

~

Don’t let those emotions get in the way during our mission! I need to stay focused! I am not allowed to get distracted!

Seungri sat alone in the room he shared with his leader and tried to find some inner peace, as Tablo would call it. The instructor told him, whenever he felt like there was too much on his mind he would try to concentrate on nothing only. And with nothing he meant he would literally try to think of nothing. He also said it took training to be able to do that though and unfortunately Seungri didn’t have time for that, he already had enough work to do.

But right now he wished he did, because as much as he told himself that Jiyong and Jihye didn’t occupy his mind at all, he also knew that this was the biggest bull of the century.

Of course he cared and that was pretty much counterproductive.

Sighing in defeat, knowing it wouldn't work anyway he stood up and exited the room to get something to drink. Seunghyun and Daesung said they would be out to relax before the group would start their very first mission and originally Seungri wanted to come along but he decided to stay home last minute. he really didn’t want to deal with their questioning glances as they tried to avoid the topic that was currently big news for everyone who knows Jiyong.

Seungri didn’t need to be reminded all the time.

Walking through the hallway in the direction of the living room the blonde could