[CONTENTID1]Chapter 12 [/CONTENTID1] [CONTENTID2] I’m not sure what scares me more, that you will never start loving me, or that I will never stop loving you. [/CONTENTID2] [CONTENTID3]Luhan had kept his mouth shut since everything that happened yesterday, not uttering a single word to Sehun. He wasn't protesting; it was the best to keep quiet because there would always be an argument as soon as he opened his mouth.

He was tired... tired of getting his heart broken.

Maybe Kai did have a point. Luhan needed to care for his heart more so it won't get hurt by Sehun.

His 'mission' of finding clues about Sehun's abandoned love story started as soon as he saw the opportunity. Sehun was gone along with his dad for an evening jog and Luhan quickly fiddled with the shelves, trying to find anything related to Miyoung. It would be easier to trace her whereabouts if he could find more and more clues.

He brought the stack of boxes onto the bed and started to check its contents one by one, reading thoroughly through each note, hoping for a miracle.

After some time, Luhan gave up with a huff and neatly tidied up the mess he made. He sighed heavily, disappointed that he'd found nothing Sehun and Miyoung related. Sehun must be super secretive or he might have guessed that Luhan was up to something and hid most of the boxes. Come to think of it, even the gifts that Luhan got him vanished from the glass cabinet. He inhaled deeply, wondering if he should continue searching through the room or to just call it a day.

Why was it so hard to bring back the main source of Sehun's happiness?

Night came and the sky was decorated with brightly shining stars. Once again, Luhan would just stand on the balcony, drowning himself with meaningless thoughts as he waited for Sehun to fall asleep.

Sehun hadn't questioned him even once and Luhan was sure that his husband was more comfortable like that. Luhan never thought of interrupting his husband's sleep so, as always, Luhan would let himself fall asleep in the uncomfortable position of his head on the dressing table. Before going to bed, he would often stare at the sleeping doctor's face -- he looked so peaceful, not a frown on his perfect face.

But Luhan wouldn't forever sleep in that position because he'd made up his mind -- once they moved into their own house, he would sleep in a separate room.

Luhan wasn't able to get himself to sleep, too busy thinking about Miyoung. Why on earth did she leave Sehun? Where was she now? Those thoughts never left his mind, as if they were taunting him, encouraging him to find the truth. If he knew where Miyoung was hiding, he would connect her string of love back to Sehun. After that, Luhan wiould run away and leave all of this heartbreak behind to start a new life.

Luhan found himself downstairs, heading through the kitchen in the dark.

Dark... 

As dark as how my heart, my soul, and my entire body are.

Luhan got a glass of cold water in hope that it would soothe his tangled mind while he sat at the table, staring into the darkness. Truth be told, he wasn't thirsty at all. All he could think of was how to gain information about Miyoung.

The kitchen's light all of sudden and Luhan quickly brought the glass to his mouth, pretending like he was taking a drink.

"It's quite late, sweetie. Why aren't you asleep yet?" Mrs. Oh asked curiously as she stood still, face painted with shock. Luhan only gave his mother-in-law a smile in return.

"My eyes just wouldn't close, mum." Luhan chuckled.

"It's nearly 4! You should be tucked in bed and asleep right now. Don't tell me that you haven't slept a wink since last night?" 

Luhan averted his gaze from the woman and Mrs. Oh knew the answer perfectly well.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Luhan doubted the older woman didn't know about the troubles in their marriage. She must have sensed the discomfort that was masked by their fake smiles -- she was a mother after all. The newlyweds avoided each other like the plague; when Sehun entered the kitchen, Luhan would quickly excuse himself. When Luhan entered the living room and Sehun was there reading the newspaper, Luhan would turn away. It was clear that Luhan was avoiding his own husband.

"I've noticed that... that you aren't exactly happy with this marriage. Can I ask why?"

Luhan placed the glass he was unconsciously gripping down while heaving a sigh, trying to find the energy to explain the situation. "I am only going to be happy if Sehun finds his happiness, mum."

Luhan finally admitted it: he was not happy with the marriage. He was drowning minsery instead because of Oh Sehun, his own husband who wasn't willing to marry him.

"What do you mean?" Luhan had no idea whether the woman was really clueless or if she was acting. The question that was thrown at him was left unanswered.

"Are you close with Sehun, mum?" 

"Of course, sweetie. Sehun is my one and only son. Whatever happens in his life, I know everything. Apart from being his mother, I'm his part-time counsellor too! He always asks for advice and never keeps a secret from me."

It seemed like Luhan had found the right person to tell him the truth.

"If that's the case, do you, by any chance, know who Miyoung is?"

The bright smile on Mrs. Oh's face faded away in an instant.

"I'm feeling so sleepy. Let's talk tomorrow, Luhan." She quickly got ready to flee the kitchen.

Luhan grabbed her arm swiftly. "Mum, please. I really need to know about her! I only want you to tell me what they've been hiding from me. Please, help me."

Mrs Oh stopped walking and stared straight into his eyes, her eyes void of any emotion. "I am not interested in talking about someone who I don't like!" She said, her voice stern and shaking. She loosened his grip and walked away.

"But don't you want to see Sehun happy? He's your only son!" Luhan shouted at her. Her steps halted when she heard the words before she slowly turned around.

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