[CONTENTID1]Chapter 9 [/CONTENTID1] [CONTENTID2]You don’t understand that the thought of you being with someone else hurts. [/CONTENTID2][CONTENTID3]Some of you might have read this chapter but I have no idea what happened because this chapter suddenly disappeared a day after I updated. You can read it again if you want to. I believe this was written better with the help of smugjong :)

Kai accepted the golden coloured card with a tiny smile, being one of the last people to receive it.

It wasn't like Luhan purposely left him out in the first place but Kai would ask so many questions about the wedding that Luhan himself couldn't answer. Luhan knew that Kai could sense something fishy about his and Sehun's relationship -- it was far too risky.

"Congrats! Finally, huh... you still ended up marrying that bastard." Kai uttered with a mischevious smile.

Luhan smacked him playfully with his journal. "Don't call him that!"

"What? It's true!" Kai exclaimed, grinning when he had to fend off another smack in his direction. "Really, though. As long as you're happy."

Luhan knew he wasn't happy -- happiness wouldn't come unless he could also truly give it to Sehun. However, it seemed that Miyoung would be the only person who could do it. It was why Luhan knew that he had to cancel the wedding somehow. What kind of marriage would it be if one of them was completely miserable? There was no way Luhan could be happy in it as well. If Miyoung reappeared, Luhan knew his heart would break again but in some way, he knew that it'd be even worse if Sehun continued to pine for her during their marriage.

"Of course, I'm happy, I'm going to marry Sehun," Luhan answered, hoping Kai believed the excited smile he gave him. Kai raised an eyebrow, his fingers playing with the edges of the gold envelope.

"Are you really? You're always sacrificing your own happiness for him, Luhan. When he was gone, you called and sent gifts all the time and he never answered. Yet you still loved him all the time and he's never given a thing back. All I want to see is you being truly happy for yourself... just this once." Kai sighed, fixing his eyes sternly on Luhan's weakening smile. "I hate seeing you cry."

"Why? Do I resemble a monster when I cry? Are you afraid I'll come and eat you?"

"Luhan!" Kai pursed his lips. "I was completely serious."

Somehow, Luhan had known things had suddenly turned serious and his friend was no longer the friendly jokester he was used to. If he kept up this line of conversation, he'd surely get Luhan to admit that he wanted the wedding cancelled and it was another risk that he couldn't take. He rolled his eyes, leaning over to hit Kai's shoulder with what he hoped sounded like a genuine laugh.

"Since when are you ever serious? Stop joking around! You're being so dramatic." Luhan watched as Kai's stony expression eased into another wide grin, rubbing his shoulder as if Luhan had hit him with a heavy weight.

"Ow! You know, you're a lot stronger than you think." Kai whined, lower lip jutting out. "I was just trying to practice my acting -- you know, I was just pretending to be serious. I thought it was pretty good. You didn't have to hit me!"

"You're ridiculous." Luhan rolled his eyes with another grin, this one much more real than any other he'd given Kai today. Being with his friend always managed to cheer him up, even if his wedding was far too close for comfort. It briefly made him forget the reality of his parent's expectations and having to convince Sehun to call the whole thing off.

However, staring at the gold envelope in Kai's hands, Luhan knew that he couldn't keep pretending to be happy any longer. For his sake and Sehun's sake, the wedding couldn't go on. He had to be with Miyoung again.

Even if Luhan's heart shattered into a million pieces one more time, it would be worth it to watch Sehun be with the one he loved.

Even after he could put his heart together again and look at all the cracks in its surface, he'd be able to forget it knowing that Miyoung and Sehun were together once again.

He wanted to be selfish one more time and defy his parents, his wedding guests, the expectations. He wanted to do this one last thing for himself -- because Sehun being happy was the only way Luhan could feel the same way too.

_

A week passed by in a flash and Luhan did nothing but observe as his mother and the wedding planners busied themselves preparing the perfect wedding. Everything was Mrs. Oh and his mother's ideas, seeing as Luhan had no desire to give a single thought of his own.

Luhan stepped into the elevator and slumped against the wall. Like always, he had gone down to check the progress of the wedding ceremony and did nothing but keep himself in a corner, dozed off to the thought of running away.

The door beeped and Luhan entered his hotel room dejectedly. He dumped his jacket on the bed and proceed to take a hot bath to soothe his nerves. Once he was done half an hour later, he felt refreshed and tied a silk robe around himself, sitting on the bed.

After his encounter with Sehun nearly a month ago, Sehun hadn't contacted him at all. Luhan had the feeling that he was purposely avoiding his calls. Luhan was starting to worry because he couldn't do anything if he couldn't get a hold of Sehun. This wedding wasn't supposed to happen.

The door beeped again to reveal his mother smiling brightly at him. "Honey, it's getting late and you need lots of sleep. It's your big day tomorrow!" She exclaimed happily. Luhan smiled rather forcefully -- his mother, of course, hadn't noticed it.  She bid him goodbye and hurried out of his room. 

Call him selfish, but this wasn't the perfect marriage Luhan had dreamed about. He was just an ordinary guy who craved affection and love from the one he adored. This was all forced. He was never happy from the beginning.

If Luhan could end it himself, he would have proudly stood up and told his parents that he opposed the whole marriage. But Luhan was just a good, obedient son and he valued all the trouble that his parents had gone through in order to raise him perfectly. He wouldn't let that happen unless Sehun was the one ending it. 

How am I supposed to marry someone whose love clearly isn't for me?

_

Luhan pressed his phone against his shoulder as he closed the elevator door. He tapped his feet impatiently and waited for the call to connect. "Hello, it's Luhan. Is Sehun there? Can I please talk to him?"

A muffled voice told him to wait for a while. Luhan had to guess it was one o the maids based on the thick accent.

"Hello?"

"It's Luhan. Meet me at the  park near the Han River right now. I'm not going home unless you're here." Luhan hung up without waiting for a reply. He dashed out of the elevator and bowed to the receptionists who gave him a strange look. But Luhan didn't care -- they were the last thing that Luhan should have been thinking of right now. They were probably wondering why he was running considering that he was the bride for tonight's wedding ceremony.

His steps came to a halt when a double-decker tour bus suddenly parked in front of the lobby. One by one the passengers exited the vehicle and Luhan gulped.

Crap! He knew all of them!

He inhaled deeply, shutting his eyes and praying that they were too busy  to notice him passing through. 

He blinked and his vision cleared to see Mrs. Lu hugging his relatives who had just arrived from China. Oh, great. Life couldn't get any better