Seunghyun's  therapy session part 2

So I decided to make our lives easier and give her a chance to get away from me. 

“Sora, I can t give you what you want”

She was taken back  “Huh”

You want me to kiss you , then you’ll want me to be your boyfriend, but that’s not going to happen”

“Why not?”

“because! You are like a little sister to me.”

Her face fell and my stomach hurt “oh”

“but I really care about you” I felt like such a jerk

“yeah , whatever” she said  “i didn’t want anything from you, Seunghyun I just wanted to give you that rock”

 I watched her leave, wishing I hadn’t had to be such jerk. I wanted to run after her and kiss her, but then what good would that do? I was leaving. If we got together and then I left to be trained, I would have broken her heart.

Being away to train was an experience. It was crazy and intense. That feeling of freedom went away right away. As soon was we stepped into the company and we realized just how much we had to work. In YGE we took lessons on just about everything. There were a few other boys there training with us. I always thought that being a celebrity was the greatest and easiest thing, but YGE instilled discipline in us, made us aware that our actions directly affected our future.  But that’s not to say we were perfect angels. Far from it.

The first year flew by. We were so busy with our lessons that I hardly had time to think about Sora, which was a good thing, I didn’t have the to worry about her. And for the first time in a long  time, my mind and heart felt free.

Then we were finally given a break for Chuseok  and I made miracles happen just to head home a day earlier than Jiyong , it was important for me to get there before him, because I  had decided to talk to Sora and let her know my feelings. I had been away from her for a while and I knew my heart wasn’t going to change.

When I arrived I immediately went to her home, I was about to knock on the door when she called my name. 

“Seunghyun Oppa!!” I must have looked different, because the expression on her face was comical. But she ran into my arms  nearly knocking me back. My heart just about came out of my chest at her reaction, I though I might have a chance of her accepting my feelings. Then that douchebag boyfriend of hers walked up and she introduced me just as Ji’s best friend— not her friend, not the guy she had been crushing since she was twelve, just as her cousin’s best friend. And had to ask myself what in the world I was doing. I was training to be an idol, I should be having the time of my life and here I was pinning for a high school girl who only saw me as her cousin’s best friend.

I’m a little grateful that happened because it really gave me the push I needed. I went back to Seoul and I really put myself out there. I met girls and went to the parties with the circle of people I was supposed to be surrounding myself with, and had the time of my life.  

Two years after we started training  Ji and I moved to another apartment with four other guys in this shabby old apartment complex, and somewhere in the move, Sora’s rock got lost. I think it was Taeyang who might have thrown that away thinking it was just a silly rock. I was upset abut it for about a second . Whatever meaning Sora had told me about it, it was long gone, along with everything else.

One weekend the other members and I took a trip to Songho Beach, and party it up. Doogwook Hyung told us YG was close to making a decision about our debut, He said  we should enjoy our last days as Unknown people.

We started drinking as soon as we got the keys to the villa. We went to all the bars in town and tried all the different beers there are. I’m sure we caused some damage to our liver that weekend but we didn’t care. Ji slept with a girl that first night. They had just met at a bat and she came to the vila and had loud in his bed, with the rest of the members sleeping just outside their door. He actually ended up sleeping with her all that weekend . They even kept i