"Bride, please proceed."

I took a deep breath when the church door opened in front of me. I can see relatives and friends were filling the chair on the left and right side then my eyes locked on someone standing at the altar. He's my husband-to-be. It's so breath-taking to see him in white suit. No one can wear it better than him. My worries suddenly disappear when he smiled at me then I looked to my dad and we both start walked in.

As I walked through the aisle, my eyes were still locked at him. He seems to feel my nervousness so he smiled through his eyes to calm me down. I didn't realize I reached the altar until my dad patted my hand and handed it to him. He bowed to my dad before he took my hand and together we face the ministry.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God, and in the face of this company, to join together this man and this woman in Holy matrimony. If anyone here has any reasons as to why these two should not be joined in Holy matrimony, let him speak now or forever hold his peace."

The audience fell silent. The ministy then continued his speech about marriage life before we finally arrived at the wedding question part. The ministry asked him first.

"Jung Byung Hee, will you have this woman to be your wedded wife, to live together in holy matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?"

He looked into my eyes as he answered the ministry.

"I do."

The ministry then asked the same question to me.

"Moon Hye Rin, will you have this man to be your wedded husband, to live together in holy matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?"

I looked into his eyes for seconds, he's all I want in my life and I do not doubt it. A month ago, I wouldn't be this sure. But what happened that day really opened my eyes and I finally know where my heart does belong to.

*****

Byung Hee and I haven't seen each other for almost a month since the day I told him I went out with Chang Sun. When we met at the office, we're just saying hi then nothing. I know he's still waiting for my answer and with the day keep passing by, I became panic.

Sometimes I met Chang Sun too at the office. We also say hi to each other then nothing. It's really awkward and uncomfortable to working at the same office with these 2 men I got involved with. Everytime he asked me out, I kept giving him reasons until he realized something's wrong and confront me one day.

"Hye Rin ah, why do I feel like you're avoiding me on purpose?"

"I..."

He took my hand. "Tell me. Something's bothering you lately?"

I pulled back my hand from his grip and let out a deep sigh. "Chang Sun ssi, I don't wanna be rude but can we please not see each other for a while?"

"Why? Did you choose to be with Hyung and marry him?"

"No, I haven't made any choice yet but I need sometime to be alone and think about it."

He fell silent for a moment, trying to accept my reasons. "Okay, if that's what you want but don't make me wait for too long."

"I won't." I smiled bitterly.

With my wedding only one month ahead, I won't let them wait for too long. This problem is killing me; I sleep restless every night just because of it. But I don't have to wait for too long cause I finally realized where my heart belongs to.

It all started on that Saturday, I usually stay at home but for some reason I feel like going out so I called Ga In to come over and go shopping with me. We entered a shoe store. I was walking around the store looking at the collection while Ga In sat on the couch trying some pairs. I usually never watch the people walking but somehow I raised my head from the shoes and looked outside, watching the crowds.

At first, I stared blankly while my mind's wandering. I didn't paid attention to what I see on the outside. Then my eyes captured a man who looks like Byung Hee from behind. I rub my eyes, telling myself that maybe I was imagining things but when I opened my eyes I still can see that man. My feelings said that he's Byung Hee but I need to see his face to make sure. There's a woman beside him. I walked out from the store, my eyes locked on his back trying to follow them but since the mall is crowded today, I lost them.

My eyes ware still scanning the room, trying to find them when Ga In tapped my shoulder.

"Hye Rin ah, why do you run out from the store like that?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing. I just—"

"I keep calling your name but you didn't hear me. Did something happen?" She followed my eyes which still scanning the room. "Are you looking for something?"

"No...nothing. Don't mind me. Let's go."

I curled my hand on her arms and dragged her away. Maybe I was wrong. It can't be Byung Hee, besides that man was with a young woman. I think I'm already crazy until I imagine things like this. But it happens again, this time when we entered a boutique on second floor.

Ga In and I were busy looking at the clothes on the shelf. When I saw the collection was not to my liking, I sit on the couch while waiting for Ga In who's still searching. And for the second time, my eyes were looking at the crowds outside the store. And what I don't expect, I saw him again still with the young woman. This time, I'm pretty sure that it's Byung Hee. I never failed to recognize his back but what is he doing here on the mall? And with a woman, she even curled her hands around his arm.

Not wanting to lose them again, I rushed out from the store but once again the crowds prevent me to do so. They disappear so fast, I didn't even know where they headed to. My eyes once again scanned the whole room, looking for a man who's wearing red shirt and a woman wearing pink sweater. Someone tapped my shoulder.

"Hye Rin ah, this is the second time you blast out from the store. What happen to you today?"

"Ga In ah, I thought I saw Byung Hee here." My eyes were still searching while talking to her.

"Byung Hee? Here?"

"Yes, and he's with a woman."

She looked to the left and right. "But I don't see him. Maybe you're wrong."

"Am I?"

"Maybe you're thinking too much and see someone as him. Besides, what did Byung Hee do here with a woman? That doesn't make any sense."

I bit my lips. "You're right, maybe I was thinking too much."

"Let's go eat, I'm hungry."

She dragged me to the restaurant and while waiting for our food, my mind was wandering again about that man. Is it true that I only imagining that man as Byung Hee? But I'm sure it's him, I even managed to catch a glimpse of his side face. Aarghh, stop it. I should listen to Ga In, maybe I was thinking too much lately so it makes my brain a little bit error today and I think I need to buy glasses.

But it didn't stop there. On the other day, I usually go home straight from the office but today I want to eat ramen so bad so I drove my car to my favorite ramen shop near the office. I parked my car on the side street and stepped out. Tonight, the ramen shop was not too crowded as usuall when I stepped inside. My eyes scanning the room, looking for an empty table but then stopped at one table on the corner. I don't want to believe what I saw.

It's Byung Hee and he's with a woman. From my point of view, the woman looks the same like the one I saw at the mall couple days ago. Byung Hee looks happy and he smiled to her whenever she talked. I stand paralyzed on my place while my mind trying to accept what I saw with my own eyes. My appetite suddenly vanished.

I don't know how long I've been standing on my place looking at them. Just when I was decided to turn around and go from this place, Byung Hee glanced to the front door. Our eyes met for seconds before I realized and turn around immediately, run out from the shop and heading to my car. I drove my car from this place as fast as I could; hoping that he didn't saw me back there. I just found out that I didn't take the way to my apartment when I pulled over. I looked around and found out that I stopped at Ga In's apartment.

I rest my head and close my eyes, trying to erase the memory of Byung Hee and that woman but I can't. I felt despair when I took my cell phone and call Ga In.

"Ga In ah, I was around your neighborhood right now. Can you come down for a moment?"

She said something on the phone and I replied her. "Okay, I'll wait for you in the park."

I stepped out from my car and walked to the park not far from here. I sit on the swing, waiting for her while my mind wandering around. She came five minutes later and sit on the swing next to me, waiting for me to talk first.

"Ga In ah, I just saw Byung Hee at ramen shop."

"And then?"

"He's with a woman I saw on the mall couple days ago." My eyes were staring at the sand on the ground. "I know I still can't decide between Chang Sun and Byung Hee but I feel something weird with my heart from what I saw just now."

I looked up to the sky. "It feels like a knife was stabbed into my heart when I saw Byung Hee smiled to her and it hurts. The pain makes me hard to breath."

One hot tear was falling through my cheek without I even realized. I wiped it and looked at my wet hand, laughed bitterly. "I think I was too shocked until I didn't realize that I cry."

Ga In stood up and cowered in front of me. She took my hands and squeezed it gently. "Hye Rin ah, I think now you know where your heart belongs to."

I looked at her and frowned. "What do you mean?"

She smiled. "Hye Rin ah, how can you be so clueless about your own feelings? Okay, let me ask you something. You said that you're hurt seeing Byung Hee with other woman, right?"

I nod.

"Then how does it feel when you see Chang Sun with other woman?"

I once saw Chang Sun shared lunch with other woman in the office. "I felt nothing."

She patted my hands. "That concludes everything, dear. You're hurt when you saw Byung Hee with other woman but you don't feel anything if Chang Sun with other woman. Do you get the point now?"

Right, why can't I see it all? It's so obvious that I want Byung Hee for myself, I'm jealous seeing him with other woman and I didn't feel the same thing with Chang Sun. Now I'm afraid of losing him.

"That woman..."

"Listen to me, now go home and take a rest. Don't make any conclusion before you hear Byung Hee's explanation, okay?"

I nod then I stood up.

"Do you think you can drive? Or should I call a cab for you?"

"No, that's okay. I can still drive." I smiled.

"Okay, but call me when you arrived. Be careful."

I waved at her and walked to my car. I drove my car slowly this time because I don't wanna get into an accident while my mind and my heart messed up like this. I managed to arrive at my apartment safely and parked my car. I planned to take a bath and go to sleep earlier when I walked out from the elevator to my apartment. I noticed someone was standing on the wall next to my apartment door, when I walked closer the image became clearer. It's Byung Hee and he saw me coming. He moved from the wall to stand in front of me.

"Hye Rin ah."

"Byung Hee ssi."

"We need to talk." He looked serious.

Looks like I don't have to wait too long for the explanation about what happened earlier. "Come in."

I walked in front of him and opened the door. He followed me from behind then we walked to the living room and sit side by side on the couch. He took my hands.

"Hye Rin ah, thanks for letting me in. I saw you at the ramen shop earlier but you already ran out when you saw me and I know the reason. So I came here to—"

I'm afraid that his explanation will broke my heart so I decided to talk first. I cut him. "Wait, before you say anything let me talk first. I was the one who should say thank you that you're willing to come see me after what I've done to you with Chang Sun. If it's someone else, I'm sure my mistake was unforgivable."

I took a deep breath before I continue. "I understand if you're upset with me and I can accept if you want to cancel our wedding. I'm happy to see that you already found someone better than me."

I forgot Ga In's advice to not make any conclusion before he explain cause I felt hopeless now. "I admit I was shocked when I saw you with other woman and my heart hurt when I saw the way you smile at her."

That's it, I finally confessed my feelings to him but it's too late. I felt my eyes hot and the tears ready to fall. I tried not to cry in front of him but it seems like my tears won't listen, it fell down through my cheeks and fell on his hand. He placed his hand on my jaw and make me looked at him. He wiped my tears with his finger.

"Hye Rin ah, did you just say that your heart hurts when you saw me smile to other woman?"

"Yes but I guess it's late, right? You already make a choice and I'll try to accept it."

He smiled. "Do you have to see me with other woman first just to realized that your heart belongs to me?"

I frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"I want to clear one thing here. The woman you saw earlier is my cousin who just came back from London. She asked me to take her tour around the city."

I widened my eyes and wiped the remaining tears on my cheeks. "Cousin? That woman is your cousin?"

He looked amuse with my reaction. "Yes, cousin. And did someone never tell you not to make any conclusion without hear the explanation first?"

"Ga In did tell me but I forgot it when I saw you because I think I'm losing you."

He laughed now. "My dearest fiancé, how can I look another woman when I only looked at you for two years and probably gonna looked at you for the rest of my life? You really underestimate me."

I cried out happily and hugged him. "Byung Hee ssi, I thought I lost you forever."

He let go my embraces just to look at me, then he covered my face with his hands and kiss me lightly on the lips. "I'm happy that you choose me."

I smiled. "Are we still going to get married as planned?"

"Of course, I'm stuck with you forever."

I rested my head on his shoulder and he curled his arms around my shoulder. I feel like I can stay like this forever then he kissed my forehead.

"Byung Hee ssi."

"Hm?"

"Saranghae." I smiled on his chest and I know he also smiled.

I already make a choice and tomorrow I'm gonna solve my problem with Chang Sun, I hope he can accept my decision for not choosing him. The next day, I called Chang Sun and promised to meet in front of Han River after office hour. He already wait when I get there, he greets me with smile.

"Chang Sun ssi, I want to tell you something."

He seems to know what I'm gonna say. "So you already make a choice."

"I know my choice will hurt one of you but I have to choose one."

We both fell silent then he start talking, more like ensuring himself. "So you choose Hyung."

"Yes."

"Can I know the reason?"

I told him the truth. "I know people always said that first love never dies but they didn't consider the effort and affection you received from the one you love. Chang Sun ssi, you're my first love but it's not enough for me. I don't blame you for leaving to New York for two years and I already forgive you for the incident with Ji Eun but you forgot something. You never try to contact me and ask why I didn't come to the airport. You're making conclusion without asked explanation from me."

I sighed. "Byung Hee filled the empty space you left in my heart. He always by my side and never let me go. I finally realized that I love him and I don't wanna lose him."

He stared at the Han River and didn't say anything. I was standing next to him in silence, waiting for his reaction.

"You're right. It's my fault for not asking you the reason." Then he turned around facing me. "I think our destiny really end this time. I wish you a happy life with Hyung."

"Thank you, Chang Sun ssi. I know someday you'll find someone better than me."

So this is it, I've made my choice. I want to say sorry for not choosing him but I don't wanna add his pain so I didn't say anything. We parted our ways from here. I really wish he could find someone who cares for him, I really do or else I would feel guilty to him. I told Byung Hee about this and he told me not too worry about Chang Sun cause he's sure Chang Sun can get over it soon.

*****

"I do" I smiled to him while answering the ministry.

"Jung Byung Hee, repeat after me." The ministry paused for a while then continues. "I, Jung Byung Hee take you, Moon Hye Rin, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. This is my solemn vow, according to God's holy ordinance."

He followed the ministry speech little by little while holding my hands and looked at me. The ministry then instructed me to follow him repeat the same wedding vow. After saying the vows, it's time to exchange rings.

"Please bring forward the rings."

The bestman moved forward to the altar and stand beside the ministry then the ministry took the rings and showed them in front of us. "The wedding ring is a circle that does not break or bend. Let these be a permanent and constant reminder that your marriage, like your love, is eternal. Jung Byung Hee, take this ring and place it on the ring finger of Hye Rin's left hand and repeat after me."

Byung Hee took the ring from the ministry's hand and put it into my finger while repeat what the ministry said. "I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and that I am and all that I have, I honor you, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

My tears almost fall down when I saw the ring on my finger. I can't believe I finally married with him. Then the ministry talked to me. "Moon Hye Rin, take this ring and place it on the ring finger of Byung Hee's left hand and repeat after me."

I took the ring from the ministry and put it into Byung Hee's finger while repeat the ministry. "I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and that I am and all that I have, I honor you, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

We're both wearing our wedding ring on our fingers but I still feel like I'm dreaming. I tried to hold back my tears, don't wanna ruin this happy moment so soon. The ministry then gave another speech about marriage life and closed the holy matrimony with a blessing.

"For as much as Byung Hee and Hye Rin have desired each other in marriage, and have witnessed this before God and our gathering, affirming their acceptance of the responsibility of such a union, and have pledged their love and faith to each other, sealing their vows in the giving and receiving of rings, therefore I do pronounce you husband and wife." The ministry looked at Byung Hee and smiled. "You may kiss your bride."

Byung Hee turned to look at me and he raised his hands to open my veil. When my face finally exposed, I can see love in his eyes when he smiled to me. He put one of his hands on my side neck then slowly bent down his head and kissed me. My tears finally break down through my cheek, it was a happy and relieved tears. He absorbed my sobs through the kiss and wiped the tears with his fingers. He broke off the kiss when my sobs has stopped then he smiled.

We turned around facing the audience when the ceremony ended and give our bow to them. As the wedding march start to play, we walked through the aisle while some of the guests congratulate us. When we reached the front door, our friends already waited including Ga In, they stood along the stairs and threw us flower petals as we walked down. I spotted Chang Sun standing among the crowds; I decided to approach him with Byung Hee. He greets when he saw us came.

"Congrats for the wedding. I wish a happy life to both of you." He stretched out his hand to us.

I took his hand after Byung Hee. "Chang Sun ssi, thank you for coming and thank you for the wish."

I still feel guilty to him and he seemed to know it. He looked at me and smiled. "Dont worry, Hye Rin ah. I fully understand why you choose hyung over me so throw away those guilty feelings from your heart. I can handle it."

Heard such statement directly from his mouth make me feel relieve. This guilty feeling that has been burdened my heart since the day I told him my choice now finally released. "Thank you. I'm glad I knew you, I hope we can still be friends."

"That depends."

I frowned. "Depends on what?"

"Depends on whether Hyung allowed me or not to befriend with you."

Byung Hee laughed. "Chang Sun ah. I never said that she needs my permission to make friends. She can choose whoever she wants, including you."

We both laughed. I never thought that this day finally come, no heartfeelings after what had happened between the three of us. Now it's time to continue my new life with Byung Hee.