BAEKHYUN

It’s a happy day today, it’s Byun Jongyul’s first birthday~ Okay, cut the crap. No, it hasn’t been well between Saera and I since that last time. I wasn’t planning to really tell her that she’s already so obvious but I couldn’t help it anymore. I’m just worried that she’ll go back to before and get sick. We’re not getting any younger and having such mind at her age is so unnecessary already. She hasn’t been talking to me much since then.

But today, we had to act fine together because there were a few close friends and relatives who came to visit the birthday boy.

And fortunately today, I haven’t had any vertigo attacks yet. Hopefully, there won’t be any for a long time. But the doctor said we can’t tell when I will have it so I should always be ready.

Leaning on the handle of our couch just beside my parents, I watch as Saera opened the presents while Jongyul was there along. I was holding actually holding my son’s baby bowl of food. I’m just waiting for the opening of gifts to get done and he needs to eat. “I just notice something. . . Saera?” My father-in-law asks making all of us turn. Fortunately, some of our friends had to leave early after eating and so the remaining ones were all relatives of ours.

“Yes, Appa?” My wife looks up while helping Jongyul hold the set of toys, his new toys that is still on its packaging. “You’re losing weight. Are you sick?” He asks and I secretly sighed in relief that finally, someone noticed. I look away trying to act unaffected of the question. “Omo?~ Are you considering my suggestion of you coming back to ballet, my dear?” My wicked mother-in-law suddenly speaks making me turn to them again.

I met eyes with Saera but she quickly avoids it. “E-eomonim, excuse me. Uh. . . I haven’t heard of it?” I speak as I smile at my mother-in-law. “Baekhyun-ah, do you still not want your wife to work?” She asks calmly, I’m pretty sure it’s just because my family’s there too. But unluckily to me, I see my parents nodding along. “Well. . . it’s not that I’m controlling her, Eomonim. I just think it will just stress her out.” I explain.

“I know, but she’s more st—“Eomma, no. I’m not going back.” Saera cuts her off. I looked at my wife but her eyes were darted down the gift wrappers scattered around the foamed floor. “Oh is that so. . . Well you seem to be taking care of yourself again, honey. So I guess it’s alright.” Her Mom says making me frown a bit.

I wanted to speak but I couldn’t.

It’s not the perfect time to deal with my concerns.

I will just fight with her even more.

So I decided to wait for the party to officially end.

As expected, the last ones remaining in the house were our parents except for my father in law who had to leave because of an emergency meeting. As Saera cleaned up with her mother, I drag my own mother at one corner of the house. “What is it? I should help there, son.” Eomma hushes. I lean on the wall and scratched my head. “Eomma, did you notice how thin Saera’s getting again?” I whisper. She heave a sigh and I knew she thinks the same way.

“Honey, is there something wrong between you two?” She asks. “No, it isn’t like that. I’m just worried she’ll go back to her eating disorder.” I let out my worries to my mother. “Why, is there something bothering her to go back to her eating disorder?” My mother asks. “I don’t think there is. We always talk, she never told me anything.” I answer. “Well except for that one time that she said she feels old and fat already.” I add and glared in space.

“Son, don’t take this so badly. But earlier, I really wanted to answer back to her mother. I just can’t believe she thinks Saera’s taking care of herself with that kind of body right now.” My mother said. It makes me upset that sometimes, my parents really disagree with my mother-in-law too. “I know. . . Saera and I always argue because of her. I just. . . don’t know how to force myself to agree with her opinions.” I answer.

I was about to speak again when I saw my wife standing a few meters away from us. , I’m dead. My mother sees her too and forced a smile before patting my arm. “Saera-yah, I hope you didn’t see it wrongly. Maybe I should help your mother outside, okay? My husband’s with Jongyul right? You two talk first. I’ve been sensing the tension between the two of you since earlier.” My mother says before walking away. Once we were alone in that quiet corner, Saera walked towards me.

“Wow, saying stuffs about my mother while she’s here?”

“You know that’s not the issue here.” I answer back while glancing at the living room. I grab Saera’s wrist and drag her to the restroom. Funny how we always choose this place to fix issues, it’s just the most convenient and safest place in terms of privacy. I close the door and she walked to the mirror wink right away and leaned there.

“Here’s the deal with this. Stop weighing again.” I say and fold my eyes. “What is it even to you? Is it bad to be concerned about my health?” Saera asks back. “You’re not concerned about your health, you’re just concerned about your weight and looks.” I argue back and she just rolls her eyes. “I’m just worried about you. I don’t want you to go back to before.” I add with my sullen tone as I lean on the door.

“You’re over-thinking.” Saera m