BAEKHYUN

Another long day, done.

I enter the house, my wife’s on the couch with my son on her lap. The TV was on. “Appa’s home.” I speak making them turn immediately. Jongyul began bouncing on his mother’s lap excitedly while smiling at my direction. It eases up a bit, the exhaustion I am feeling all over my body. I walk towards the couch and quickly took my son into my arms. “How’s my baby?” I ask before planting a few kisses on his chubby cheeks making him giggle so much.

“I’m going to prepare the food.” Saera stood up and as she was about to walk, I lean down to give her a quick kiss on the lips. She smiled lightly before walking into the kitchen. I notice the indifference in her eyes. There is something wrong and so with my son clutching on my neck, I follow her. “Did you go to the grocery store today?” I open a topic as I lean on the entrance of the kitchen. “Yes, I did.” Saera answers but she didn’t even take a second to glance at me.

Did I do something bad?

I don’t remember doing anything.

I watch her every move. “Are you okay? You look unwell.” I ask. She finally glances at me but it didn’t even last a few seconds before she looks away again. “No, I’m okay. Just a little headache.” She answers while putting some rice on a bowl. “Is it your migraine? You go to bed now; I’ll just eat and then go straight to you.” I said. I glance at my son and gave him a light kiss on the forehead when I felt his hand my cheek. “No, don’t mind me. I’ll still wash the dishes after you eat anyway. C’mon eat now.” She said finishing the table nicely.

I still look at her with worry. “Are you sure? Because I can just wash it la—“I said I’m fine!” She blurts out—not too loud but in a forced and angry way—cutting me off which made me and even Jongyul flinch. My right hand reach to the back of the baby’s head making him lean on my chest for a while not to show his mother’s distressed expression, he might be scared. “Hey, what is wrong with you?” I mutter softly.

“I-I’m sorry.” She got open-mouthed like she didn’t expect to burst like that as well. And without any further words, she walks toward me and took Jongyul. “Sorry.” I hear her hush at our son. “You go eat, I’ll give Yul a bath then put him to sleep.” She tells without making eye-contacts before speeding out of my sight.

Does she think I could think after her outburst?

She’s making me worried.

I don’t like how her face tells me she’s upset, how her voice tells me she’s having a hard time on breathing.

So I ditch the dinner served for me and follow her into the baby room’s bathroom. When I arrived, she was just starting to undress Jongyul so I just stayed there at the door frame, leaning sideways. “If it’s me, I’ll understand.” I speak but that didn’t make her stop. “If it’s you, I’ll listen.” I continue and fold my arms. It’s hard to have a conversation with someone who has her back on me right now. “But you need to tell me what is. It’s not just headache, I know.” I lastly said before walking towards her but as soon as I arrive, she lifts our baby and went to the other corner on the baby tub.

“Honey, eat dinner now.” She speaks. I know by the tone of her voice, she was trying to act out this time. I’m not buying it. “No, you tell me now.” I insist with a serious tone. “Ugh, could you at least let me finish bathing Jongyul? Eat your dinner.” She hisses. “Fine. No one will sleep until we talk about whatever it is.” I said before walking out.

So just like what she said, I ate dinner.

Right after eating, I took the initiative to wash the dishes to save time.

Then I go to our room and washed up.

When I was all done and fresh, I got out of the bathroom topless with only my shorts on. I saw my wife already there on the bed, just as I estimated. “You put Jongyul to sleep already?” I ask while rubbing the towel onto my damp hair. She gave a curt nod as I near her. Once I was seated beside her on the edge of the bed, silence filled the room for a short while until I cut it. “So mind telling me what’s bothering you?” I ask, my elbows placed down to my knees and my hands were clasped together at the center.

“I just. . .”She starts but then pauses when tears began trickling down her cheeks. I try to stay calm and let her take it all out. I remained in my position while looking at her. “Saw Jaein and Yuna in the grocery store earlier.” She finally continues in between her sobs. I process the familiar names in my mind for a little while before remembering they were her classmates before. “Okay? Go on.” I said.

Although I’m already guessing where this is going to end up, I kept it to myself and let her tell me.

“I-I was happy to see them and. . . and they look very happy. J-jaein has her own studio now and Yuna teaches there too. I’m h-happy for them. . .” She cries out. “But?” I ask guiding her into it.

Envy? The best possible answer. I understand her, I’ve felt it. I have a lot of colleagues in college that are now successful singers or musicians. With that being said, I know the feeling if ever that’s what her problem is.

“But I just felt bad. I could have had what they have right now. I was better than them, right?” She continues. I understand. “Honey. . .” I move closer this time and put an arm over her shoulders. “Being better than others in a particular skill doesn’t define your destinies. If that’s what they are meant to be, and this is what you’re meant to be, it doesn’t make you less as good as you are.” I explain.

“I know that. . . I just got a bit bugged off when Jaein offered me a job under her studio.” She looks down like a child while fiddling with her fingers. I let out a soft chuckle and ruffle the back of