SAERA

I was so worried. Walking back and forth of our bedroom, I dart my eyes down to my phone. We just came home from our family doctor’s clinic and Baekhyun had a series of tests. “Honey, here—yah, seriously—what are you doing there—yah, you’re making me dizzy, stop. . .” I hear my husband whining which made me stop. I turn to him who was lying down in a slanted position on our bed. “It’s just vertigo, calm down.” He said while putting his forearm over his head.

“What just vertigo, it’s still something to be worried about. I Google-d it and it’s scary if yo—“You go to Google, yes you’re really going to find serious cases there. The doctor already said it’s associated with my migraine.” He cuts me off.

“A-alright. . .” I close my phone and walked to the bed. “Are you feeling alright? Did the medicine work?” I ask and rub his arm. We kept the lights of the room dim for him. “Saera, I just drunk it a couple of minutes ago. Please, just relax.” He whines and covered his face with the pillow this time.

He’s bad-tempered since earlier but I wanted to understand. He had that vertigo attack for almost an hour yesterday and another one this morning before we go to the doctor. “Do you want to do the head exercise the doctor taught us?” I ask and lean closer to him removing the pillow so I could see his face.

Although his tests and CT Scan weren’t something to be panicky about, I’m still so worried. Maybe it’s because I visited Google and saw more than what I already heard from the doctor.

“Let me sleep first.” He turns his head to the right but then moving it back to the left. “Do you feel uncomfortable?” I ask while looking around trying to think of how to help. “Hey, not that I’m relying on internet again, but I read some simple advices.” I said and he finally looks at me and I smile although he was still frowning. “We don’t have the reclining chair so. . . let’s just add another one.” I grab a pillow and add another behind him.

I am panicking inside but I just try to calm down for him.

When I have positioned him on a much better side, I stood up. “If you’re want to change, you can do the exercise taught to us okay? You know how right?” I ask. “Yeah yeah. . .” He murmurs absently. “D-do you want us to get you a neck brace if ever?” I suggest. He gave me a look, a bit of a glare. “Alright alright, I’ll stop Google. Fine. I’m sorry.” I put my hands up in defense and began walking to the door. Just as I opened it, Baekhyun spoke. “Thank you, ‘hun.” He hushes making me turn with a smile. “Alright, just call me if you need something. I’m at the living room with Jongyul.” I said.

“Okay, love you.” He answers back but he already had his eyes closed. My heart calmed down a bit hearing his soft tone. “Love you too.” I answer back before completely going out.

Aigoo, we’re not getting any younger.

Sooner or later I might have some issues around my body too.

An inevitable reality.

“Yul-ah, what to do? Your birthday’s the day after tomorrow and your Appa is sick. He needs to rest for at least a week. The vertigo shocked his body and so Appa feels sick.” I mutter as I watch my son play on his pen. I already called Haewon for him and told her what happened; she understood and gave him a week of rest from the music production.

I don’t hate nor worry about Haewon anymore although I would surely still feel that discomfort if ever I see them close together. It’s natural, I guess.

I was actually planned to go to the groceries today with Eomma but I told her what happened. As expected, she didn’t really ask much about how Baekhyun is but she understood and said she’ll just as her assistant to buy with her so I could stay here.

Not so much from Eomma but it’s still a big thing. She understood that Baekhyun is sick, which feels good for my side.

I start cleaning in the baby foam by the couches since Jongyul was there earlier and he just shifted to the playpen this time. Another side was also messy, his toy cars were there and then one last side has toddler books scattered around. Each day, Jongyul’s getting more and more manlier—I mean, messier.

He gets tired of toys easily.

Oh god, please don’t be a playboy in the future, Yul-ah.

“Yul-ah.” I call while picking up the books. He turns to me while hitting the head of a doll. “Yah, why are you hitting her head—yah, that’s bad. Don’t do that okay?” I talked to him and he just stares at me while giggling. He does it more, I mean the hitting thingy. “No, don’t do that. You will destroy it, baby. No.” I signal him but instead he placed it down and crashed it with his body. “Oh my god, you’re brutal.” I murmur and massaged my temples.

Boys will be boys.

But girl toys like that isn’t a candidate for wrestling.

Why does he even have that girl’s toy in the first place?

Friends and family needs to learn on giving gifts.

I slump down the foam and just watched him play around. “I’m so bored. I want to chat but your Appa should rest. I’m so bored.” I groan while messing my hair up. I stand up again and with a determined face, finished all the mess, placed and organized them again before lifting Jongyul up. “When Eomma cleans up, you’re not su