BAEKHYUN

Two years ago

Barely noticeable sweats trickling down my temples, I stare at the figure walking down the aisle, her footsteps in sync with the soothing background music. This was it, the day that I’m going to marry my woman. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted, seems obsessive but it’s true, I can’t help it. Marrying her today is overwhelming, I feel ecstatic although it’s actually a rushed one. I’ve been in love with her for three years now but we haven’t really talked about marriage and that was until I got her pregnant. Not that I felt bad about, I ing loved it the moment she told me we’ll have a baby. I knew she was just upset and worried at first but I was sure it was a sign that we should really settle in already. Three years is considered long enough, right? We grew feelings for each other which started as friendship when we were twenty-one and shortly after our second semester in college, I asked her to be my girl. Since then, we’ve been madly in love. Now, in front on me – real and breathing – is Jung Saera who’s going to be my wife and the mother of my child. I let out an airy gasp as our faces meet inches apart when she arrived at the altar.

She’s so beautiful.

No, beautiful is an understatement.

Perfect.

With haste I hushed, “You’re beautiful.” I take a moment to admire her whole face as if it would be my first time to do so. Hell, of course not. I just got her pregnant, duh. Saera sneers as she looks back at me. “Such a made-for-television line, Baek.” She mocked but with her usual sweet smile that always melted me. Without answering a word, I simply ran my palm across her cheek. “Don’t you dare cry…” She hushed again with a warning expression. I gave a curt nod but I was already taking in a few heavy gulps. I ing want to cry right now. In our relationship, I’m the one who’s more emotional than her and as funny as it sounds, I cry more often than she does. I gaze upon the wedding hall, smiles from our families and guests, the ambiance of the place, the music—yes, especially that one—makes me so emotional right now and it’s weird, I know. That was until I felt her slender fingers reach for my hand and she gave it a light squeeze reassuring me with her smile although her eyes tell me that, ‘If you cry, I’ll divorce you tomorrow.’ and so I really tried my best to be tough this time and gave out a smile as response to her. “Okay fine, geez.” I snorted before glancing at the pastor this time. With my polite smile, I told him that we were ready for the ceremony now. The most-awaited ceremony of the century, at least for us. From that day on, 29th of May will always be a special day for the two of us.

The start of our happy-ending.

Or at least that’s what we thought.

_ _ _

Shortly after our marriage—just a few months later—Saera had a miscarriage. It would be one of the worst moments of my life. Not only because our first child left us too early but also, I had to see Saera cry every single day as well. Everything, every pain and struggle doubled up on me. We didn’t know how or why it had to happen. The doctor said Saera’s body was too weak and thin to handle pregnancy right now. The picture of newlyweds being on their honeymoon stage in my head completely vanished because the picture we had instead, it was a lot worse than arguing in the first few months. I feel bad, so bad, but I also have to cheer my wife up.

She needs me more than anyone else.

At these times, I felt like I wasn’t in the position to feel the worst cause I know she already is. I need to be the strong one and being a man, I think I pretty much handle it well. I try hard to be there for her as much as possible, I even took a leave from my work just to stay with her at home. She often breaks down every morning and every night which is a very painful scene for me. I don’t want her to be weaker and much skinnier than she already is, not healthy at a