Three
SmileYoongi opened the door as soon as Hoseok knocked. Hoseok collapsed onto him, sobbing, almost making Yoongi fall over. They stood like that for a while, wordlessly, until Yoongi's shoulder was completely soaked, before Hoseok let go and dragged himself to the couch, wiping his tears with his sleeve and sitting down between Jin and Namjoon, who had been watching the entire scene silently. Once his tears were dried, he sat completely expressionlessly, and he noticed that Jin and Namjoon looked slightly disturbed at his sudden change.
"Hey," Hoseok said, no inflection in his voice.
Wordlessly, Jin reached over and wrapped his arms around Hoseok's waist, resting his head on his shoulder.
There was a moment of awkward silence, until it was broken by Yoongi. "All right! I'm getting the drinks out." He his heel into the kitchen, and soon, the sounds of a chair being dragged to reach a high cupboard were heard.
Namjoon sighed. "Talk about it if you want to, okay?"
"I don't really want to, but if I ever do, I will," Hoseok replied, reaching up to hug Jin back and giving Namjoon a tiny smile.
"Hoseok, come help me!" Yoongi called from the kitchen.
Sighing, Hoseok stood up and walked to where Yoongi was, saying, "Hyung, you know you're too short. Just buy taller chairs." When he finally turned the corner and reached Yoongi, he was surprised to find Yoongi leaning against the counter with all of the alcohol already out, raising one eyebrow with his arms crossed.
"Jimin is shorter than me." Yoongi took a few steps forward and punched Hoseok's shoulder. "And just because the rest of you are abnormally tall doesn't mean I'm short."
Glancing at the bottles, cans, and cups on the table, Hoseok raised his eyebrows at Yoongi. "Why'd you call me in?"
Crossing his arms again, Yoongi stared sternly at Hoseok. "I am going to ask Jin and Namjoon to head over to Jin's place and get food because I don't have any. While they're gone, you and I are going to have a talk. You will not complain."
"Yes, your highness," Hoseok muttered, knowing that he could freely let his sarcasm flow in front of Yoongi.
Cracking a slight smile, Yoongi brushed past Hoseok back into the living room, where he proceeded to get the other two out of the apartment. After he heard the door open and close, Hoseok picked up a few cans from the counter and carried them to the table in front of the couch, setting them down in front of Yoongi, who was already sitting down.
"No cups?" Yoongi said absently as he focused on opening a can of beer.
Hoseok sprawled out on the couch, resting his head on the end and setting his legs on Yoongi's lap. "Do we really need them?"
Yoongi took his first sip and handed the can to Hoseok. "Nope."
There were a few moments of comfortable silence as they two of them kept passing the can back and forth, taking a small sip each time.
"Let's talk," Yoongi finally said, setting the can down in front of him. "It's not the normal stuff, is it?"
Sighing, Hoseok shifted himself around so that he was leaning against Yoongi with his head resting against his shoulder. Yoongi wrapped his arm around Hoseok's shoulders and pulled him closer, causing Hoseok to snuggle into Yoongi's side comfortably. "No. It's not about me this time."
"You're this torn up about someone else's problems?" Yoongi scoffed. "Hoseok, please."
"I don't know, okay?" Hoseok reached out and grabbed the beer, then downed the rest of it in three gulps. "He just reminds me too much of myself, I guess."
"Another you is the last thing I need," Yoongi muttered, causing Hoseok to laugh.
"You'd love another me around, wouldn't you?" Hoseok glanced up at Yoongi's face, satisfied to see him holding back a smile. As Hoseok reached out for another can of beer, he realized that the effects of the alcohol were starting to set in already. Should he stop? But no, he wasn't planning to tonight. Ignoring Yoongi's slightly judging look, he started to drink his second can, only pausing when it was half empty. There was no way he was going to have any rationality left by the end of the night, and he was perfectly fine with that. "I don't want to be drunk alone."
Rolling his eyes, Yoongi reached out for his own can and started to drink it as quickly as Hoseok did his. Both of them continued to consume more and more alcohol as their conversation continued.
"Is this person as good of an actor as you?"
"He's almost better." Hoseok laughed sarcastically. "I guess it takes one to know one."
"How much do you know about his problems?" Yoongi coughed slightly as the alcohol burned his throat.
"Family. But only with certain members. That's all I know."
"You should snoop. Do you know anyone else that knows him that could help you? Or, that would be willing to help you?" Apparently Yoongi was starting to get slightly tipsy too. He was talking more and more freely, instead of grunting out short sentences.
"I know a couple but I don't think they're aware that there's a problem with him in the first place." Hoseok's head started buzzing, and he giggled slightly. It tickled. He was going down faster than usual.
Yoongi sighed. "Stop drinking for a little while, Hoseok. I'd rather you be at least slightly sober for an hour, you know? Or at least until Jin hyung and Namjoon come back?"
Pouting, Hoseok set his drink down and threw his leg over Yoongi's, hugging him tightly. "I don't want to."
"I know you don't want to, but you should."
Hoseok decided that hugging Yoongi was taking too much effort, so he lied down with his head on Yoongi's lap, staring up at the older boy's pale face, which was now slightly flushed from the alcohol.
Yoongi stared back, playing with Hoseok's hair idly with one hand and grabbing onto one of Hoseok's hands with the other.
Hoseok made another decision. Now would be a really good time to discuss their relationship. It would distract him from Taehyung. "Hyung?"
"Yeah, Hobi?"
"What are we?"
Yoongi sighed. "Are we finally discussing this? Now? When you're upset about other things?"
"Hyung," Hoseok whined, squeezing Yoongi's hand gently.
"I don't know if we can put a label on what we are, Hoseok. Do you really want to?"
"No, but I thought we might be able to define it in some way." Hoseok gave Yoongi a wide grin, causing Yoongi to smack Hoseok's forehead gently.
"Hoseok, the first time we kissed was over a year ago, and we'd only known each other for like two months. If we haven't defined anything since then, how can we magically do it now?"
"How about we decide what we feel for each other first?" Reaching up with his free hand, Hoseok poked one of Yoongi's cheeks and giggled as Yoongi gave him a half-hearted glare.
"Fine." Yoongi paused and took a breath, while Hoseok waited for him to continue. "Let's see. I like you. A little bit, not much. Not enough to call it a real crush. But still, it's there. The thing is that I also love you, but not in that way. I love you as a brother. So it's kinda weird. I guess." He paused again. "See this is why we haven't defined anything yet!"
"Hyung, you're cute," Hoseok chuckled, ignoring the "shut up" muttered under Yoongi's breath. "For me, I guess it's just that you're the person that's always there when I need someone, and you're literally the only person that knows all of my secrets. So that makes me way more comfortable around you than anyone else so I'm okay with what we are, since I guess depending on you so much has led to some like. Although I agree with you on the loving you like a brother part."
Yoongi laughed softly and smoothed Hoseok's hair back. "Some of your stuff is still here. A couple choreography journals. And that necklace you bought at the street stand and wore like twice."
"I'll pick it up some other time, hyung. Unless you drop it off at my dorm for me so I don't have to do any work?"
"Not a chance, idiot."
Hoseok laughed, and stared up at Yoongi's face again, examining his features. Yoongi was just so pale, his skin and lips included, but his eyes were a deep, dark brown, a quality that made Hoseok unable to look away.
And as they kept looking at each other, somehow, Yoongi was suddenly much closer and Hoseok's fingers were threading through Yoongi's hair and Yoongi's lips felt like ice but somehow they managed to make Hoseok's feel like they were on fire and the fire burned brighter as they kept kissing, as Yoongi moved so that he was cupping Hoseok's face, as Hoseok clenched the back of Yoongi's shirt and eventually Hoseok was lying with his back on the couch and Yoongi was on top of him and he felt as if the moment was lasting forever.
Finally, Yoongi pulled back slightly, and smiled against Hoseok's lips, chuckling. "Distracting enough, Hobi?"
Pulling down Yoongi for another kiss before letting him go, Hoseok replied, "Obviously, hyung."
"I would blame the alcohol but we both know I'd be lying."
Hoseok laughed softly and hugged Yoongi as the latter moved so his head was resting next to Hoseok's head, on his shoulder. The two of them stayed silent for a moment, contemplating how strange and yet how perfect their relationship was.
"Let's make a deal, Hobi," Yoongi murmered in Hoseok's ear.
"What kind of deal, hyung?" Hoseok asked, just as softly.
"We both know we need each other. We're two lonely, messed up people. Especially you. So for now, let's keep this going because it's good for both of us to have someone."
"Sounds good." Hoseok paused. "For now?"
"When one of us starts to legitimately have feelings for someone else, we stop. It's not fair to continue this in that situation, for any of the three people." Yoongi pressed a soft kiss to Hoseok's neck. "Okay?"
"Okay. Let's also agree not tell anyone else? Just like we haven't so far?"
"Of course not. I'm not an idiot, Hoseok."
"Yes you are. Ow! Hyung, that hurt!"
"Good."
"You're so mean."
"Good."
"I'm texting Namjoon and asking why they're taking so long."
"I'll go get more drinks out for them."
"Be careful, they might break your fragile arms. Ow! Ow! Hyung, stop!"
Yoongi snickered and got off of Hoseok, walking to the kitchen as Hoseok pulled out his phone and texted Namjoon "You guys are taking too long." In a few seconds, he got a reply. "Wee're comingg soon din't worny. We have hte food," Hoseok read aloud to Yoongi as he came back.
Raising an eyebrow, Yoongi asked, "Does it have proper grammar?"
"Yeah, but it doesn't have proper spelling."
"Weird. Maybe Jin's bugging Namjoon to text properly and this is his way of rebelling."
After a few minutes of comfortable silence with the two friends sitting on the couch next to each other as Yoongi watched Hoseok play a game on his phone, the door to the apartment banged open and Namjoon walked in, smiling brightly. Following behind him was Jin, who was carrying three bags of food and was deathly pale.
"We brought food! It just took a really long time because Jin had to make some of it and he was missing this ingredient, so he had to improvise a little. And I helped!" Namjoon continued to chatter as Hoseok watched Jin walk robotically across the room with the food, drop it next to the table, and then collapse on the couch next to Yoongi, all with a blank expression on his face.
"Jin hyung?" Hoseok poked him tentatively with his index finger. "Are you okay?"
Yoongi looked toward Jin curiously along with Namjoon, who had apparently finished telling his story.
"Namjoon . . . " Jin sputtered out. "Namjoon drove."
There was a moment of silence before Yoongi dragged Jin to sit in between him and Hoseok, and the two of them hugged him tightly, whispering comforting things in his ear.
Namjoon looked at them strangely. "What's this all about?"
Jin seemed to finally come out shock, and wailed, "I almost died!"
"No you didn't! I kept us perfectly safe!" Namjoon said incredulously.
Laughing nervously, Hoseok replied "Yeah, I'm sure you did, Joonie. You're a very, uh, good driver. Let's start partying, huh?", effectively putting an awkward end to the conversation as he reached out and grabbed a bottle of wine.
An hour later, Yoongi was just in his boxers, both Jin and Hoseok had their shirts off, and Namjoon was the only one slightly sober. Hoseok's leg was resting on Jin's stomach, while his head was on Namjoon's chest. Yoongi, in Hoseok's opinion, was too far away because he was only holding his hand. He couldn't help laughing as Jin recounted another embarrassing story of Namjoon talking in his sleep in their apartment. Did Taehyung talk in his sleep? Hoseok couldn't quite remember.
He couldn't remember anything, really.
Maybe he should call his parents to come pick him up.
Hoseok started laughing at his joke, causing Yoongi to lift his head and look at him.
"What's up with you, Hobi?" Yoongi sounded weird.
"Hyung, why're you talking through the aluminum foil? This isn't a microwave."
"Joonie, stop rolling your eyes, you look like a fish," muttered Jin.
"What's so funny, Hobi?" Yoongi pressed.
"I wondered. Why don't. My parents come and pick me up? Because. I'm not okay!" Hoseok started laughing again, and he stopped as he realized that Yoongi wasn't laughing with him.
Namjoon sat up and pulled Hoseok into his lap, hugging him tightly from behind, and Jin giggled at something on the ceiling. How long had the four of them been drinking? Why were there bottles all around them? Oh. That was all they'd drunk. Did they have school tomorrow? Who cared?
Suddenly, Yoongi stood up and grabbed Hoseok, pulling him away from Namjoon and Jin to the bathroom. "I'm giving Hobi a makeover. I'll show you when I'm done!"
Hoseok laughed as he stumbled on the way through the door, as Jin called "Make him prettier!" behind them and Namjoon decided to replace his Hoseok teddy bear with a Jin one.
Once the door closed, Yoongi pressed Hoseok against the wall and kissed him roughly. Hoseok kissed back just as hard, wrapping his arms around Yoongi's shoulders and pulling him closer. Once they parted for air, Hoseok buried his face in Yoongi's neck, panting.
And when Yoongi brought him into a tender hug he didn't know why but he started crying and he couldn't stop and oh god this wasn't supposed to happen tonight but Yoongi was there for him and he could trust Yoongi and he really needed to let it out and he felt horrible and he felt kinda sick too and he didn't really feel like laughing anymore.
Then Yoongi started kissing away his tears and he couldn't help sobbing harder, and then he was hunched over the toilet, Yoongi holding him, as he threw up everything he'd eaten that day. He'd eaten too much. Too much. So much more than he should have.
He was disgusting.
Hoseok sat on the floor, tears gone for the moment, while Yoongi opened the door and called Namjoon in.
"Can you take him home?" Yoongi asked quietly when Namjoon came into the bathroom and sighed when he saw Hoseok's state. "I'm not sober enough and neither is Jin hyung."
Home meant Taehyung.
But.
Was this home?
Where was he going?
Hoseok felt himself being pulled up by two pairs of arms, and let out a noise of discomfort as the arms forced his discarded shirt back onto him.
"Can you walk, Hoseok?" Namjoon placed Hoseok's arm around his shoulder so Hoseok could lean on him while Yoongi put his shoes on for him.
"'Course I can, Joonie," Hoseok mumbled.
"Then let's go." Saying a quick goodbye to Yoongi and Jin, the latter who seemed to be very close to passing out, Namjoon lead Hoseok out of the apartment and to the street, where not many people were around since it was so late. Hoseok focused on placing one foot in front of the other and not losing his balance, since everything seemed wobbly, and before he knew it, he was at the door to his dorm while Namjoon knocked.
A half-asleep Taehyung came to the door, and immediately became alert when he saw Namjoon practically carrying Hoseok.
"Hyung, what happened?" Taehyung asked, staring with an unreadable expression at Hoseok, who stared back.
"We're all drunk, he's the most drunk. The night's been a little messed up. Have fun taking care of him." Namjoon passed Hoseok to Taehyung, who stumbled slightly as Hoseok almost collapsed on him. "Bye!" Namjoon walked away, and Hoseok waved goodbye until he realized that Namjoon indeed did not have eyes in the back of his head.
Struggling, Taehyung managed to drag Hoseok into their room and place him on his bed. "Hoseok hyung."
"Tae." Hoseok decided it might be better to grin at Taehyung.
"I thought you weren't coming back tonight."
"I wasn't going to," Hoseok pouted. "Apparently throwing up is bad. But you don't think that, do you, Tae? Don't you do it all the time?"
Taehyung drew back, shocked, and didn't say anything.
"It's okay," Hoseok giggled. "Tae, come here!"
"Why, hyung?" Taehyung sounded nervous, but Hoseok knew there was no reason for him to be.
Grinning, Hoseok gestured for Taehyung to sit next to him. When he did, reluctantly, Hoseok leaned toward his ear and whispered, "You're a very good actor, Tae. A really, really good actor. You know you're like a skeleton. Skeletons are cute. But they break easily. Right?"
Squeezing his eyes shut, Taehyung got up and walked to the other side of the room. "Go to sleep, hyung," he said in a low voice.
"But I'm not tired!" Hoseok whined.
"Just." Hoseok could see Taehyung clenching his fists. "Hyung, you need sleep. You're too drunk."
"I'm not drunk, I'm smashed!" Hoseok laughed. He was so funny.
Wordlessly, Taehyung switched off the light and walked back toward Hoseok, pushing him down onto the bed and lying down next to him. He pulled the covers over the two of them and placed Hoseok's arm around his waist. "Go to sleep, hyung."
"You're cold."
"I know. Hyung, sleep. I'm here."
"That's good. I like that you're here." Hoseok smiled. He really liked that Taehyung was with him.
"I . . ." Taehyung sighed. "I like that you're here too, hyung."
Somewhere in his mind, Hoseok understood. This was the real Taehyung.
Satisfied, Hoseok tightened his arm around Taehyung, wondering how everything was spinning when there was no light. Maybe he should close his eyes. Oh, yes, that helped a lot. And maybe he should relax. Yes, that helped too. Hoseok was so smart. Taehyung's breathing evened as he fell asleep again, and the noise lulled Hoseok to sleep, as the alcohol and tears and exhaustion pulled him under.
Down, down, down.
Hoseok groaned softly as started to wake up, but kept his eyes tightly shut as he felt his head pounding, splitting apart. He could feel a warm body next to him, fingers playing gently with his hair. Where was he? Thinking back, the last thing he remembered was Yoongi stripping to his boxers as he lost Never Have I Ever, while he and Jin took their shirts off in second place. Was he in Yoongi's apartment? It didn't matter. His head hurt too much for him to care. He snuggled farther into the person holding him, feeling him tense up slightly and stop running his fingers through his hair.
"Hyung, are you awake?" a deep voice asked quietly.
Taehyung.
"Tae," he tried to say, but it ended up coming out more as "Aughhaee."
"Go back to sleep, hyung."
He didn't want to, but his body didn't listen to his brain, and soon Hoseok felt nothing.
He didn't know how long it had been since he'd last awoken, but when he did for the second time, there was soft light filtering through the window of the room and Taehyung was sound asleep next to him. Getting out of bed, happily realizing that his head hurt far less than it did before, he trudged to the bathroom. Grimacing slightly at the bitter taste in his mouth, which he figured was vomit from the night before, he brushed his teeth and washed his face, and then walked back into the main room before realizing that he was in the same clothes as the night before. Sighing, he changed into shorts and a sweatshirt, checked the time on his phone (10 in the morning) and then went over to Taehyung, who was still peacefully sleeping. He'd probably want to wake up and work, wouldn't he? It was quite late.
Hoseok shook Taehyung gently. "Tae, wake up. It's late." Taehyung shifted slightly, but didn't open his eyes, and stayed asleep. "Yah, Kim Taehyung." Hoseok shook him harder, but the boy didn't move. He must've been extremely tired. Had he stayed up caring for Hoseok?
Giving up, Hoseok decided to shower, thinking that the noise might wake up Taehyung since he wasn't able to, and that he really needed one. While washing himself, Hoseok noticed that he'd put on some weight, and smiled slightly as he thought about how proud Yoongi would be.
After stepping out of the shower, Hoseok dried himself quickly, and put on his shorts and sweatshirt again. He started drying his hair as he walked out of the bathroom, but abruptly stopped in his tracks as soon as he turned the corner into the main part of their room.
Taehyung was awake, sitting on his bed with his shirt off, apparently in the process of changing it, staring at Hoseok with wide eyes. In a daze, Hoseok slowly walked to Taehyung, and sat next to him, throwing his towel somewhere else carelessly. He held eye contact with Taehyung for a few moments, noting how terrified, and yet somehow resigned, the younger boy seemed, before looking down at Taehyung's torso.
Horrible. Apalling. Awful.
Just like Hoseok.
Carefully, Hoseok reached out his hand and traced Taehyung's prominent ribs with one of his fingers, ignoring how tense Taehyung became.
He didn't pull away though.
"Are you scared of me?" Hoseok murmured, continuing to run his finger over Taehyung's stomach, feeling how cold he was.
"No" came the soft reply.
Hoseok moved his arm so that his palm was resting over Taehyung's heart. Taehyung shivered.
"Do you hate me?" Hoseok asked, almost inaudibly.
No answer.
Exhaling, Hoseok stood up and began to walk away, but he was stopped by a grip around his wrist. When he turned around, Taehyung was looking down, his fringe covering his eyes, but he slowly lifted his head and stared into Hoseok's eyes. "Hyung, even if I wanted to, I couldn't hate you."
Smiling softly, Hoseok sat back down and enveloped Taehyung's skinny frame in his arms, rubbing his scarily bony back in an attempt to warm it up. "Good." Hoseok's smiled disappeared slightly as he felt Taehyung hug him back a little harder. "I'm sorry about last night. I shouldn't have said what I said. And knowing me, I probably said stupid things while I was drunk, although I can't quite remember that part."
"Don't apologize for anything, hyung. It's my fault, for keeping secrets from you." Taehyung snuggled deeper into Hoseok's chest, and Hoseok could tell he was trying not to cry.
"And I shouldn't be so nosy. Your business is your business."
"But hyung." Taehyung couldn't hold back the tears. "You're the first person here to see through me. And you care. Hyung, you actually care about me."
"Of course I care, Taehyung," Hoseok whispered. What had this boy gone through?
"Hyung." Taehyung pulled away and wiped his eyes with the heels of his hands. "Hoseok hyung, I'll tell you. I'll tell you everything."
Hoseok stood and walked to Taehyung's dresser, opening one of his drawers and pulling out a sweatshirt. He tossed it to Taehyung, who put it on, and then gave Hoseok a confused look. Chuckling, Hoseok sat on the bed and took Taehyung's hands into his own, gripping them tightly.
"You looked cold. And I'll listen, Tae. To everything."
So yeah I'm horrible at updating, as we all already knew. But please, please understand. I have very, very little time. Honestly, half the time I'm writing to take a break from all of the work I have (which seriously depresses me lol).
But, here we go! Another chapter up!
Also this chapter included a major plot twist, but remember, almost nothing about Hoseok is revealed, so don't be too surprised at anything. ;)
Much love~
<3 ^~^
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