https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-jAD44QD7Y

For the next week, if they weren't avoiding Taehyung himself, Hoseok and Yoongi would avoid starting any conversation with him. They hadn't figured out how to break the news to him, if they were going to at all, and that week happened to be the week that all of their professors assigned them projects and gave tests. Finally, on that Friday, Hoseok and Yoongi found themselves alone together in Yoongi's apartment, sitting on the couch stuffing themselves with ramen (within their group of friends, Hoseok was considered the ramen god).

Yoongi finished his first, set the empty cup down on the table, and leaned back against the side of the couch, staring at Hoseok.

Hoseok, noticing this, looked up in the middle of cramming a huge mouthful of noodles into his mouth. "What?" he asked, sound muffled because of all of the food hanging out.

Crinkling his nose in disgust, Yoongi replied, "I'm waiting for you to finish. It isn't fun. You're being gross."

Quickly, Hoseok slurped up the rest of the giant bite and his lips. "Give me a break. I'm really hungry. I haven't eaten all day."

"What, why?"

"I woke up late this morning, and I found Taehyung trying to use the rice cooker but he was putting in way too much rice and too little water." Hoseok kept muttering under his breath, "Idiot. I still can't believe he doesn't know how to use it. It's really not that hard and he's not -"

"Hoseok," Yoongi interrupted, both mildly amused and annoyed. "Go on."

"Then Hyukjae hyung made me stay late after class because he wanted to discuss me staying here over the summer and helping out with a program for kids. And when I finally thought it was over, he started asking me about what he should wear for his date with Donghae hyung and when I asked him why he was asking me about this he told me that it was because I helped set up their first date after you broke into our room on Valentine's Day!" At this point, Yoongi was laughing, and Hoseok threw a pillow at him, scowling. "So I missed lunch and I had classes all afternoon. And now we're here and I would like to finish eating."

There were a few minutes without conversation while Hoseok finally finished eating and Yoongi caught his breath from all of his laughter. After Hoseok came back from throwing their cups into Yoongi's garbage can, the atmosphere sombered, since both of them knew what they would have to talk about next.

Hoseok decided to take the plunge. "I want to tell him."

"Wait, really?" Yoongi raised his eyebrows. "I don't. Why do you want to tell him?"

"He'll have more time to prepare for it, and I just really don't want to keep this from him."

"Oh, so you're actually willing to tell him a secret? Amazing."

"Don't push it, hyung," Hoseok said in a low voice. "This secret isn't about me. It's about him."

Sighing, Yoongi nodded. "I see where you're coming from, but haven't you noticed how much better he's been getting?" Hoseok nodded. "I don't want to ruin that. I feel like it might be better to tell him when we're more confident that he'll be able to handle it."

Yoongi held his arm out, and Hoseok shifted closer to Yoongi and snuggled into his side. "But who knows how long that will take? It could take a year for him to 'be able to handle it' and by then his brother will obviously be here. We have only have half a year until he shows up. If we tell him now, he could learn how to handle it."

Yoongi took a deep breath before responding. "I guess. There's no right answer, and he's gonna get hurt either way. Although, going by what you've said, it'll hurt him less to find out now."

"You're smart enough to have thought of this earlier," Hoseok said. "Why did you really not want to tell him?"

"I . . . don't want to have to be the one that sees him get hurt."

"You would've seen it either way."

"I know."

Hoseok glanced at Yoongi's face. "That's pretty selfish, hyung. You're not usually like this."

"I just feel like . . . never mind." Yoongi took his arm out from around Hoseok and stood. "You should go, Hoseok. We can talk to him tomorrow at your place in the morning."

Confused, Hoseok frowned up at Yoongi's expressionless face before slowly standing up as well. "Um, okay. See you tomorrow then, hyung." Hoseok walked to the door and put his shoes on, Yoongi following him. When Hoseok reached forward slightly to kiss Yoongi's cheek goodbye, Yoongi moved quickly to open the door, causing Hoseok to stumble slightly.

"Oh, sorry," Yoongi murmured. "I'll come over tomorrow morning. See you." Yoongi closed the door, leaving Hoseok standing a little bit bewildered in the hallway.

On the way home, he contemplated how strange Yoongi had suddenly started acting, and a horrible thought hit him.

If Yoongi was willing to hide secrets from Taehyung, was he willing to hide them from Hoseok, too?

The next morning, Hoseok woke up when his phone buzzed with a text from Yoongi saying that he would be in Hoseok and Taehyung's room in twenty minutes. Groaning, he got out of bed, brushed his teeth, changed his clothes, and started shaking Taehyung's comatose-looking body. "Get up, Tae."

"It's Saturday, hyung, let me sleep in." Taehyung's groggy morning voice was possibly as deep as the Grand Canyon.

"We have to tell you something."

"Who's we?"

"Yoongi hyung and I. He'll be here in ten minutes. Wash up."

Grumbling, Taehyung rolled out his bed and trudged to the bathroom. A minute later, Hoseok heard the sink running and checked the time. He started to get a little nervous, and rubbed his fingers together repeatedly. He knew it shouldn't be that big of a deal. After all, they were just telling Taehyung a simple fact. They were making too much fuss about this. Taehyung would be fine.

Everything would be fine.

Taehyung emerged from the bathroom combing his hair down so that his bangs fell just above his eyes. He tossed the comb onto his nightstand and flopped onto his back on his bed, resting his head on the palms of his hands. No sooner than he had opened his mouth to speak, there was a knock on the door. Hoseok opened it quickly and Yoongi waltzed in with a piece of bread in each hand.

"You really love bread, don't you, hyung?" Taehyung snickered.

Yoongi started raising his hand, presumably to make a generally frowned upon gesture, but Hoseok quickly reached out and stopped him by grabbing his wrist. "Okay, let's not do this right now. Taehyung, we have something important to tell you."

"Actually." Taehyung sat up on his bed and crossed his legs. "I have something to ask you guys."

Hoseok and Yoongi exchanged a glance, then nodded. Hoseok moved to sit on his bed while Yoongi sat down on the floor between the beds.

"Why have you been avoiding me?"

Yoongi buried his face in his palms and started laughing sarcastically. Reaching down, Hoseok shut him up by smacking his head, noticing that Taehyung was frowning.

"The reason we've been avoiding you is because we were afraid to tell you what we're going to tell you now," Hoseok answered. "This is not good news."

Taehyung tilted his head slightly. "How bad is it on a scale of one to ten? Ten being the worst."

"Let's say eleven," Yoongi said under his breath.

The youngest boy reached up to rub his temple with his fingers. "Just tell me." He kept his head down, refusing to make eye contact.

"You know how Jin hyung is working in the admissions office?" Hoseok bit his lip.

"Yeah."

"He found a really good resume. Of a junior."

It was as if a switch had been flipped. Taehyung immediately straightened, and stared at Hoseok with such an intense look in his eyes that Hoseok flinched. "No. No. He did it?! He actually did it?! I didn't think he would ever have the courage to." A laugh. "He really did it?"

"He did, Tae. I'm sorry . . . Your brother is going to be attending on a full scholarship next year." Gritting his teeth, Hoseok could only watch as Taehyung fell apart.

"Hyung, he really -" Taehyung swallowed. He wouldn't stop staring at Hoseok. "H-He really . . . he actually did it? He applied f-for the - for the . . ."

"Early graduation, yes." Yoongi's voice was very quiet.

"I c-can't do - c-can't -"

And Taehyung scrambled off of his bed and threw on his shoes and dashed out the door.

Hoseok froze, and looked at Yoongi in alarm. He only waited for Yoongi to whisper "Go."

He ran.

It was twenty minutes later that Hoseok found Taehyung sitting alone on the bench in his favorite spot at the park. For some reason, he knew that Taehyung would come here. Taehyung's eyes were red, and there were drying tear tracks on his face, but it didn't look like he was crying anymore. Hoseok sat himself down next to Taehyung and stared out at the other end of the clearing, offering silent support, until Taehyung spoke up.

"Hey, hyung."

"Hey, Tae Tae."

"Thanks for telling me."

"Of course. I'll tell you everything else when I'm ready, too."

"I know."

Comfortable silence. Taehyung wiped the last tears off of his cheeks and sniffled. Hoseok stretched his arms up and yelped as something cracked.

"I'm just tired, hyung. Tired of always being compared to my brothers. I had a lot of doubts about coming to this college, you know? I didn't want the comparisons from grade school to keep going. But at the same time, I know how good the program here is, and I figured that this place had enough people for me to fade into the background and not be associated with them. Of course I love my hyungs. I always will. And the people, other than my parents, that compare us usually don't mean any harm. But it's not my life when it's always being viewed through the lens of others'. I just want Kim Taehyung to be Kim Taehyung and not Kim Baekhyun or Kim Daehyun or Kim Jungkook's brother, and - oh. I'm ranting. Sorry."

"Keep going, Tae," Hoseok encouraged.

"When I showed up here, I was really nervous because my brothers are really well known here. But it didn't turn out to be so bad, just as I had hoped. People consider me separate from them because of the two year and three year gaps between our classes, and the fact that I don't showcase my singing very much. Plus I have the six of you, and Sungjae and Hyukkie, and a lot of other friends in my classes. I'm just so worried that it won't be the same when he shows up. He'll be in the class right below mine, and he's amazing at literally everything he does. He's more good looking, and I bet he's taller than me now, and I'm pretty sure he started working out a little while ago, and his body was already fit from dancing and track, so he's better looking than me in that sense too. His stupid bunny smile makes him look cute but at the same time he looks really handsome when he wants to. And the reason I'm able to phrase this so well is because I'm repeating what I've overheard other people say. I'll have to see his face around school and remember how much my parents hate me, and how they convinced him that he was superior to me, and how he actually believed them and cast me aside after a decade of being his favorite hyung and forever partner in crime.

"Yeah, I've been feeling better about myself, and I'm eating now. But that's because he's not there for me to try to be better than. I don't need to become skinnier to look better than him, and I don't need to pull all nighters three times a week to score perfect grades on tests. What if when he comes back, all of the progress I've made just goes down the drain and I go back to what I was like at the beginning of this year before you and Yoongi hyung and everyone else helped me? I'm scared, hyung. I'm really scared."

"I am too, Tae. I am too. You can cry, if you want."

"I don't need to waste any more tears on him. I'm going to try, hyung." Taehyung turned his face toward Hoseok, and gave him a smile that was, although quite forced, strong. "I'm going to become so confident in myself that no matter how much better he is than me and how much more our parents love him, I won't feel bad. I will not be weak. I will be strong. Telling you everything I just said has made me feel so much lighter, and I know. I know I'm the one that's holding myself back, not him. I need to become a stronger person in order to become happier."

A lump formed in the back of Hoseok's throat, and he barely managed to squeeze his next words out. "I'm so proud of you. You have no idea how proud I am to hear you say that."

"And you have no idea how thankful I am toward you, hyung. Thank you for realizing that my smiles were fake. Thank you for looking at me as my own person instead of someone else's brother. Thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for being there no matter when or where. Thank you for being you."

"If this weren't so touching, I would slap you for how cheesy this is."

Taehyung giggled. "I'd slap myself, hyung." A pause. "Hyung?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you hold my hand?"

Hoseok took Taehyung's hand in his and gripped it tightly, interlacing their fingers. "Of course I can, Kim Taehyung."

"Don't leave me, hyung. Ever."

"I wasn't planning to."

Taehyung's hand was warm and comforting.

Hoseok realized that he wouldn't mind never letting go.

GUYS, LOOK. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK. IT'S AN UPDATE. IT'S A REAL UPDATE. IT ACTUALLY EXISTS. IT FINALLY HAPPENED.

IT'S PRETTY SHORT AND NOT MUCH HAPPENS, BUT IT'S AN UPDATE. AND I WAS REALLY ANXIOUS TO UPDATE SO IT PROBABLY HAS SIXTEEN GAZILLION MISTAKES AND IT'S PROBABLY REALLY Y AND ANNOYING TO READ. BUT I UPDATEDDDDD.

Excuse me, I'm a little excited at the moment because I AM ACTUALLY UPDATING. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXHILARATING THIS FEELS.

It's not long at all but the plot moved forward in more than one sense so I'm satisfied enough with what I wrote.

And what's going on with Yoongi hmmmmmmmmmm.

And school starts in like a week and I'm so anxious because SO MANY SUMMER ASSIGNMENTS I HAVEN'T DONE and ughhhhhh. 

Hopefully I won't die.

Wish me luck, and good luck you guys too, since I'm assuming school is starting for a lot of you, if it hasn't already.

Tell me how it's going. I need to prepare myself to start waking up at six again (and then coming home at six yayyyy).

ANYWAYS.

Until the next time~

<3 ^~^