https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0vU-KsLXow

Hoseok had woken up first in the morning, and had woken up Taehyung by turning on the shower. When Hoseok came out, the two didn't say much to each other, but after Hoseok got dressed, Taehyung gave him a long, tight hug.

Taehyung didn't smile.

Hoseok gave him a small one.

"Time for my math test, hyung. I'll see you at lunch."

"Bye, Tae."

"Namjoon hyung! What should I get Hoseok hyung for Christmas?"

"Nothing."

"Hyung, what do you mean? I'm getting presents for everyone!"

"Taehyung, don't get him a present. Instead just give him some money. He'll donate it to a charity."

"Oh. Why?"

"He doesn't like getting presents."

"He doesn't? Why not?"

"I don't know, Taehyung."

"Oh."

"Just give him the money. Don't worry about it."

"Did you get him a present last year?"

"No. He specifically asked for money."

"Oh."

"Yah, Taehyung, stop poking at your food and just eat it."

"I'm not really hungry, hyung. Do you want it?"

"Sure."

Hoseok was alone in the dorm when there was rapid knocking. "Yah, Jimin. You don't have to knock so much for me to let you in."

"Hoseok! Are you alone in there?!" a loud voice called. It was most definitely not Jimin, and didn't sound like anyone he knew. Getting up, Hoseok walked to the door, looked through the peephole, and was shocked.

"Daehyun sunbaenim?"

"Hoseok, if you're alone, let me in!"

Confused, Hoseok opened the door, only to be pushed aside by Daehyun, who was carrying a large pile of things, with snow melting in his hair. "Sunbaenim. Uh. What's that?"

Daehyun placed everything on Taehyung's bed, and smiled at Hoseok. "Presents! For Taehyung! I didn't get you anything because Yoongi told me not to." The older boy seemed completely full of energy, like a giant ball of sparkles that would burn Hoseok's eyes if he looked too long.

Hoseok nodded. "I'll tell Yoongi thanks. And thanks to you too, sunbaenim, for listening."

"Yah, yah. You call Baekhyun hyung, you can call me hyung too." Daehyun bounced slightly on his heels and glanced around room.

"Baekhyun hyung told you about me?"

"Yes! Nothing bad, don't worry! This room is so empty. You guys should decorate it, especially since it's the holidays."

"Neither of us . . . really feels like it."

"That's a shame!" Daehyun hopped onto the bed with all the presents and started rummaging through. "Hoseok! Pay attention!"

Startled, Hoseok stood up straight. "Yes hyung!"

"This one is from Baekhyun hyung. This is from me. This from Taehyung's mom. This is from..." Daehyun continued to list everyone that had gotten Taehyung presents, including all of their friends.

"Hyung, how did you get all of our friend's gifts for Taehyung?"

"Lots of phone calls."

"How . . . did you get their phone numbers?"

A giggle. "I have my ways. Anyways! Hide the presents from Taehyung! Put them out on Christmas morning for him! Don't mess up or Baek hyung and I might hurt you! Bye bye!" Daehyun ruffled Hoseok's hair on his way out of the apartment. Hoseok was left staring incredulously at the large pile of cutely wrapped gifts, until he happened to glance at the clock. It was almost time for Taehyung to come home from dance practice, and he usually brought Jimin, so he'd have to work fast to hide everything.

After looking around the tiny room for a few seconds, he took all the presents and stuffed them under his bed. Never mind, it didn't take long. Time to work on English homework until Taehyung and Jimin came back and bothered him. Maybe he'd also contemplate on how similar Taehyung and his brothers were.

All of them seemed to have an energy that would never fade, a wide smile, a bright personality.

But Taehyung didn't have that sparkle in his eyes like his brothers did.

Hoseok wanted to throw something. Two days after Taehyung had broken down crying in his arms, he was acting exactly as he was before the incident. When Hoseok had approached him about it and asked what exactly had happened, Taehyung claimed that he'd just had a bad day and he was glad that Hoseok was there for him.

Of course, there was nothing else wrong at all.

Yes, Hoseok really, really, really wanted to throw something. Preferably Taehyung. Off a cliff. But then he would miss the boy, and he wouldn't be able to solve any of his problems.

One thing had changed, however. Now, when Taehyung was done studying, he would get into bed and ask Hoseok to hold his hand, which the older boy would gladly do. For the past two days, Hoseok had woken up with Taehyung's fingers wrapped tightly around his, as if even his sleep, Taehyung was afraid that he would leave. He wasn't planning to.

At the current moment, Hoseok, Yoongi, Jin, and Namjoon were watching Taehyung and Jimin practice girl group songs. Both of them were giggling the entire time they were doing AoA's Miniskirt, and giving each other "y" (hilarious) looks as they did Miss A's Hush (without the bar). Normally, Hoseok would've joined in and caused his friends to cringe from (even more) embarrassment, but today, he was more occupied with his frustration at a certain sophomore. He occasionally stabbed his paper while he attempted to do his English homework, bringing worried looks from Jin, his second mother.

"Uh, Hoseok?" Jin finally asked, concerned. "Are you pretending that your homework is someone's face?"

"Maybe," Hoseok muttered, nearly tearing a hole in the paper as he wrote a sentence.

"Do you. Uh. Want to talk about it?"

"No."

There was an awkward silence between the two of them, while in the background, Jimin collapsed to the ground laughing as Namjoon decided to start dancing to Hush along with the two youngest ones, causing Yoongi to boo and throw a highlighter from Hoseok's pile at them.

Jin sighed. "I'm here if you need me, okay Hobi?"

"Thanks hyung." Suddenly feeling overwhelmed, Hoseok threw his arms around Jin and hugged him tightly. "You're the best, hyung. Really the best."

Laughing, Jin ruffled Hoseok's hair and replied, "I know I am. I'm your mother, after all."

Hoseok gave Jin a real smile as he pulled back and started gathering all of his stuff to leave. "You're the best mother I have, hyung. I'm gonna go home and do my homework, I think. Being here is getting a little too distracting."

Overhearing, Yoongi perked his head up. "Can I come too?"

"Sure, hyung. Make sure you have everything. The snow's supposed to get pretty bad later, so we won't be able to come back." Hoseok suddenly felt a sharp pain in his left side, and glanced down to see the highlighter Yoongi had thrown at Namjoon earlier at his feet. Looking up, he found Jimin giving him a sheepish look.

"I didn't mean for it to hit, you hyung! Promise!"

Grumbling, Hoseok picked it up and gave Jimin a murderous glare. "You're lucky that I know that you actually don't have any aim."

Giggling, Jimin turned back to Taehyung and continued to dance. "See you later, hyung!"

"Bye hyung!" Taehyung chimed in.

"Okay, I'm ready," Yoongi stood up with his bag slung over his shoulder and his coat buttoned up all the way to his chin (he got cold easily).

"Bye guys." Together, Hoseok and Yoongi walked out of the practice room and down the long hallways of the arts building, passing a foul-smelling room where black-and-white drawings were hanging.

"Agh, what is that smell?" Hoseok wrinkled his nose as he paused by the door for a second before he continued on with Yoongi.

"Oh, I think it's hairspray. It keeps the sketches done with pencil from smudging or something."

"How do you know that?"

"Ah, no Daehyun was telling me about it. Apparently he used to have to deal with the smell all the time because his younger brother sketched a lot."

"Taehyung sketches? I didn't know that."

"No, not Taehyung. Their youngest brother. He's a junior in high school."

Surprised, Hoseok glanced briefly at Yoongi's face. Taehyung had a brother younger than him? "Oh. Taehyung . . . " He trailed off before continuing, "Taehyung has never mentioned him."

"Huh, that's strange."

"Yeah."

The rest of the walk to Hoseok's and Taehyung's room was spent in silence while the snow fell all around them.

On Christmas morning, Hoseok woke up with Taehyung's arms wrapped fully around his forearm, which was slightly new. Scrunching his face slightly in concentration, he withdrew his arm slowly and replaced the space with a section of the blanket, trying to keep Taehyung from waking up. Then, he leaned down and withdrew the pile of presents for Taehyung from under his bed, and placed them around the small tree that had been lonely on the dresser since Baekhyun had dropped it off. Humming softly, he made sure the arrangment was presentable before padding over to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and hair. Then, he walked to the sleeping Taehyung and shook him softly.

"Taehyung, wake up. It's Christmas," he whispered.

Mumbling slightly, Taehyung turned over and curled up more.

"Yah, Tae, you have to open your presents. Don't you want to see what everyone got you?"

"Later," came the soft groan.

"Kim Taehyung, it's Christmas and you have a bunch of gifts from a bunch of people that love you. Get up and open them, sleepyhead."

Pouting, Taehyung pushed himself up using his arms, revealing his extremely messy (cute) bed head. "Hyung, it's too early."

"It's 9:30."

"It's too earlyyyyy," Taehyung whined again, dragging his hand over his face.

Hoseok let out a short laugh, and reached out to ruffle Taehyung's hair, making it look even more like a rat's nest. "Go wash up, comb your hair, and open your presents."

"Yes mommy," Taehyung said under his breath and trudged to the bathroom, making Hoseok shake his head fondly. "Hyung, I didn't think making Christmas morning annoying was possible, but you're a miracle worker," Taehyung said as he came out of the bathroom, looking ten times more awake, with his hair finally staying on his head.

"Just open everything, brat."

Taehyung gave Hoseok a small half-smile and stared at the presents left out for him. Hoseok watched him carefully. This wasn't the normal Taehyung, the overly-cheerful one. This Taehyung was still cute, but had a sarcastic side, a serious side. This was the real Taehyung, wasn't it? Hoseok liked him much more than the other one. This one wasn't fake.

Carefully, Taehyung picked up one of the presents and examined the wrapping. "Hyung, did you hide all of these?"

"Yeah, Daehyun hyung dropped them off and asked me to put them out for you."

"You're sweet, hyung," Taehyung laughed softly. "You didn't have to."

"I wanted to. I figured you'd be happier."

A gentle smile. "You figured right. You're honestly the best, hyung. You have no idea how thankful I am that you're my roommate."

"Just open your presents already." Hoseok grinned and motioned toward the tree.

Yes, this Taehyung was far, far better than the other one. This Taehyung was more mature, actually acted his age, didn't exaggerate everything and smile at everything regardless of how happy or upset he was. Examining Taehyung's face as he read the names on the labels of the presents, Hoseok realized that as the new Taehyung emerged, his facial features became less childish, more sharp and handsome. The lack of a smile on his face drew Hoseok's attention to his large eyes, which had extremely long eyelashes. The real Taehyung's posture was also different. Instead of standing up straight, slightly bouncing on his toes, he was slumped, showing how exhausted he really was. He'd grown even more skinny, Hoseok realized. It was getting harder and harder to notice because there was so little fat left for Taehyung to lose that it didn't seem like much of a difference every time some disappeared. His clothes were hanging on his frame, now several sizes too large. Taehyung was a wonderful actor, wasn't he? He was able to fool all of their friends with his happy, smiley act, and even though he was noticeably skinnier, his clothes had already been too large for him when he was healthier, so they didn't notice how much weight he'd lost. The real Taehyung was lost, sad, confused, unhealthy, depressed.

Yet Hoseok found him much more beautiful than the one that was projected to everyone else.

"Hyung, want to help me move all of my presents to my bed? We can sit on it and open them."

"Sure."

After a few minutes of shuffling, Hoseok and Taehyung sat across from each other on Taehyung's bed with all of the presents in between them.

"Whose should I open first?"

"Friends or family?"

"Friends."

"Go in age order then. Jin all the way to Jimin."

"Good idea, hyung." Carefully, Taehyung picked up the pale-pink-wrapped box and took off the paper carefully, revealing a small, beige box. When Taehyung removed the lid, he gasped and his features split into a brilliant smile. "Hoseok hyung, it's so pretty!"

"You're right, it is," Hoseok replied, staring at Taehyung for a while before finally looking down at the gift. Jin had gotten him a small, intricate ring with tiny bands that intertwined to form a treble clef. Taehyung was right, it was quite beautiful. Still smiling widely, Taehyung slipped the ring onto his pinky.

"I'm going to hug Jin hyung to death later."

"I'll warn him."

The two boys exchanged real, genuine smiles, and the unwrapping process continued. In the end, it turned out that only Jin had put much monetary effort into his gift, but that was only to be expected, considering the friends that they had. Yoongi gave Taehyung an empty notebook with both regular lined paper and staff lines, so that Taehyung would be able to keep a journal, write lyrics, and compose tunes all at the same time. The note Yoongi gave with it told Taehyung to ask any of his rapper hyungs if he wanted help writing, and that keeping a journal would be a good way to keep his thoughts organized. The notebook obviously hadn't cost much, but it was extremely thoughtful. Namjoon gifted Taehyung a rap, as he did to everyone every year, written to fit his personality. Taehyung and Hoseok couldn't help but laugh as they read through it, nodding at both how accurate it was and how stupid their friend was being ("cuter than my ex-girlfriend"). Jimin bought Taehyung two things: an ugly sweater and a gift card to the smoothie place about half a mile from the campus. The sweater had a blue-grey background and red and yellow polka dots, and the note that came with the gift cards was as hilarious as the sweater was hideous. It included a little tale about how Jimin had gotten thirsty right after he bought the card and might have used it on a smoothie, so there might be less money on the card than what he had originally put on it. Even though it was ridiculous, Taehyung couldn't stop laughing, while Hoseok muttered about how this was something totally typical of Jimin to do.

After all of their friends' gifts had been opened, Hoseok threw all of the wrapping paper in the recyling bin (both he and Taehyung refused to hurt the environment), and sat back down on the bed while Taehyung fiddled with his fingers nervously. Why was he so tense?

"Tae, time to open your family's gifts, right?"

"Yeah. I'll . . . do Baek hyung's first I guess." Cautiously, he peeled the wrapping off to reveal a black leather jacket with a few new sticks of eyeliner nestled in between the sleeves. "Uh . . ."

Meanwhile, Hoseok started laughing so hard that he almost fell off of the bed. "Tae! Oh my god this amazing! Baekhyun hyung wasn't lying!" Hoseok had to take a few moments to catch his breath before continuing. "A few days ago hyung and I saw each other in the arts building and he told me that he thought that you needed a change of style, because with your face, you have the potential to be extremely y, but you're cute instead. He even told me that you should start wearing eyeliner." Hoseok broke down laughing again. "Your hyung is great!"

At this point, Taehyung had started laughing as well, tightening his grip on the jacket in his hands. His laugh sounded different. It was less forced, more natural. It was lower, huskier. "My hyungs are the best, Hoseok hyung. The absolute best. I'm going to wear the eyeliner every time I visit Baek hyung!"

"He'll be very proud of you."

"He already is, Hoseok hyung!"

"He should be. And he'll be even prouder when you visit him looking all y in your eyeliner."

Taehyung looked up at Hoseok with large eyes, a strange expression on his face. "Do you really think I of all people can be y, hyung?"

Hoseok tilted his head and stared at Taehyung's face for a few moments, before nodding. "You already are right now." He was, in the moment, because this was the real Taehyung and not the fake cute Taehyung.

Smiling slightly, Taehyung set Baekhyun's gift off to the side of the bed and reached for Daehyun's. "Now I'm scared to open this one, since they always buy my presents together."

"Just open it."

"You're so pushy, hyung." Taehyung glanced up and smirked slightly at Hoseok, before opening the tiny box, staring for a second, and letting out a rush of air, bowing his head and laughing again. "They coordinated."

"Why, what is it?" Hoseok asked as he leaned over to try to look in the box.

Taehyung reached inside and held up a necklace, a thin black chain with a metal pendant shaped like a feather.

Hoseok raised an eyebrow.

Taehyung reached inside the box again and pulled out a small sheet of paper, handing it to Hoseok.

"'Imagine how y you'll look wearing these, the jacket, and the eyeliner at the same time,'" Hoseok read aloud, smiling. "'These?' There's something other than the necklace?"

Taehyung held up a black stud earring. "Does he actually expect me to get my ear pierced?"

Hoseok shrugged. "I got mine pierced in my last year of high school. It doesn't hurt too much."

"It's not about the pain, hyung. I can take a little sting. Would it actually look good though?" Taehyung took back the earring and turned it around in his hand, staring at it.

"It would. Trust me."

"I trust you, hyung," Taehyung said softly, and Hoseok could see the child in him, the child that had never quite disappeared even as his innocence was destroyed.

Gently, Hoseok reached forward and took the earring, placing it back inside the box with the necklace and the note, and put the box next to Baekhyun's jacket. "Who's next, Tae?"

"My mom, I guess." Taehyung reached across the bed to grab the next present. "It's a gift card."

"How do you know?"

"She gets me one every year. One of those ones that you can use anywhere. She wants me to be able to make my own choices." Taehyung ripped apart the paper to reveal, as expected, a $25 gift card that could be used at any stores of his choice. "Onto my dad's gift."

Hoseok watched silently, frowning, as Taehyung threw his mother's gift to the side, and moved onto his father's. There was obviously something wrong here. He'd treated his brothers' gifts with so much care, while he just flung aside his mother's. Hoseok had the sinking feeling that it would be this way for his father's present as well. Parent problems. Who would've known? And then, this begged the question of what exactly his problem with his parents was.

Taehyung carelessly tore off the paper on his father's gift as well, revealing a calendar. He gave it a bitter smile before tossing it where he tossed his mother's gift. "I'm done opening my gifts, hyung."

Glancing around the bed, Hoseok noticed another unopened package at the end, almost buried under the blanket. "All of them? Really?"

Taehyung nodded, getting up and casually shifting around the bedsheets so that the last gift was completely hidden.

Oh, this kid was good.

"Are you going to head over to Jimin's dorm now?" Hoseok asked, stretching.

"Yeah, I'm gonna slap him. Sungjae will probably join in, too, even if he doesn't know why," Taehyung chuckled.

"Go shower then. You smell." Hoseok yawned and curled into a ball on the bed, pulling the covers over himself.

"You're not any better, hyung." Taehyung grabbed a change of clothes and walked into the bathroom.

As soon as Hoseok heard the shower start, he uncurled himself and grabbed the present from underneath the covers. He quickly checked the tag. It was from Kim Jungkook. Hoseok stared at it for a while, contemplating. Kim Jungkook had to be Taehyung's younger brother, so why would Taehyung pretend that his gift didn't even exist?

Sighing, Hoseok put the gift back and leaned back on the bed, crossing his arms behind his head. He'd obviously learned a lot today, and he was one step closer to figuring out what Taehyung's problems were, but he'd only raised more questions for himself. Groaning, he slapped his forehead and decided not to think about Taehyung's problems, but instead about the real side of Taehyung he'd seen today.

It was just so perfect.

Where had the real Taehyung gone in just a few hours? After coming back from Jimin's dorm, Taehyung had reverted back to his fake self, hiding everything from the morning behind his smile. When he came back, he forced Hoseok to go out with him, Jimin, Sungjae, and Hyuk for lunch, yet he didn't eat a single thing. The entire time, the four younger boys chatted and giggled and shrieked as they simply hung out. Hoseok included himself in the conversations, of course, and made everyone laugh with his silly jokes and ever-present aegyo, but, as usual, he was watching Taehyung almost constantly. How could no one realize how broken the boy was?

Taehyung was a phenomenal actor.

After lunch, Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jimin met up with Jin, Yoongi, Namjoon at the coffeehouse on campus that fueled most of the students' days. Hoseok treated himself to a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows, promising himself that he would dance it off later. Taehyung actually had a cup of coffee, but he didn't add any sugar, making Hoseok wonder how he drank it black without flinching, when he himself would probably spit it out immdiately. Of course, Jin ordered a muffin with his, and Jimin got a giant cup that Hoseok knew he would finish in under two minutes.

Then, Hoseok had split himself off from the group, going to the practice rooms to dance with his friends Jongin and Sehun, two other sophomores. After an hour of messing around, doing silly dances and rolling on the floor in laughter, they shared a pizza (Sehun ate half of it), and Hoseok finally decided that he would head back to his dorm.

He found Taehyung sitting on his bed, staring at a new pair of headphones in his hands.

"Tae, who gave you those?"

Smiling brightly, Taehyung looked up at Hoseok and bounced slightly in excitement. "Hyukkie and Sungjae gave it to me together!"

Hoseok wanted to walk over and punch the grin off of his face. As Hoseok stared at Taehyung, and then the headphones, for a while, the atmosphere became slightly tenser.

"Hyung, are you okay?" Taehyung asked hesistantly.

"Tae, it turns out that I actually do want a Christmas present this year."

"What is it, hyung?"

"I want you to stop smiling." Hoseok stared straight into Taehyung's eyes, watching the smile drop from his face for a second before being replaced by a confused expression.

Taehyung blinked. "But, hyung, I always smile when I'm happy!"

Hoseok finally broke.

"No!" He suddenly yelled, clenching his fists. "No, you don't! You're almost always smiling when you're upset, or depressed, or lost, or hopeless! Stop it! Just stop smiling when you don't mean it!"

Drawing back in shock, Taehyung bit his lip as he stayed silent.

"It's not the real you. The real you is so much more beautiful than this . . . creation. Your creation. Please, stop. Just stop." Hoseok squeezed his eyes shut as he felt tears springing up.

"Hyung, this is the real me. The real me is always happy!" Taehyung said, looking completely bewildered, although Hoseok knew that the younger boy knew exactly what he was talking about. "Hyung, you're scaring me."

"No. No, Taehyung, you're the one scaring me. I want to help you, but I can't. I can't if you won't trust me and admit that something is wrong." Hoseok gritted his teeth. "Bye, Tae. Don't expect me to come back tonight."

Turning around, Hoseok walked as fast as he could out of their room, and ran down the hallway, and out of the building. Once he was outside, he couldn't stop the flow of tears. He was completely overwhelmed, filling with emotions that he couldn't name or tell apart.

He pulled out his phone and called someone he knew he could depend on. "Yoongi hyung."

"Yeah, Hoseok?"

"I'm coming over. Are Jin hyung and Namjoon there too?"

"Yeah, we all are. Hoseok, are you crying?"

"Yes. I'll be there in a few minutes. And hyung?"

"Yeah?"

"Take out the drinks. I need them."

Silence. "Hoseok, is it really that bad?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Whatever you need. See you soon."

"Thanks hyung."

Wiping his tears as they kept streaming, Hoseok ignored all of the strange looks he was earning from passerby as he walked as fast as he could toward Yoongi's apartment. He was such an idiot. So stupid. So useless. He needed to escape.

At some point, Hoseok started laughing under his breath, slightly hysterical.

"Kim Taehyung, you'll be the death of me."