https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2mVpfEviJo

Mildly important A/N at the end. I would prefer if you read it, but you don't have to. The part that's actually worth reading is in red.

Hoseok woke up to an empty room, which was strange because he usually got out of bed and showered before Taehyung. For a second, he wondered why, but then rolled his eyes as it hit him. Of course they would. What idiots. Did they expect him not to realize?

Chuckling under his breath, he washed up, changed his clothes, grabbed his bag, and started down to his classes, which were both in the morning today. During his dance class, he chatted animatedly with Jinhwan and Seulgi, whom he had last talked to only when he'd wished them happy birthday on their birthdays, which happened to be only three days apart. Then, during his visual arts class, he worked together with Jinyoung and Daniel on their latest project (Hyeri had originally been in their group as well, but they'd kicked her out when she unintentionally poked a hole in their screen. She was now working with Seungyoon and Jinri, who were currently shooting Hoseok, Jinyoung, and Daniel helpless glances).

After his classes were over, he walked down to the cafeteria, which was on the other end of the campus, and sighed when he saw no one there to eat with him. Going closer to their usual table to set down his bag, he noticed a piece of paper taped down the table. "Come to Jin and Namjoon's apartment," he read under his breath, smiling softly. Turning around quickly, he made his way through the campus until he reached the apartment complex where Jin and Namjoon lived. He climbed the stairs up to the third floor and stopped in front of their door. He turned the knob, found it was unlocked, and stepped inside.

To find Taehyung, Yoongi, Jin, Namjoon, and Jimin standing in a line, all giving him bright smiles. "Happy birthday!" they all screamed in unison.

Hoseok didn't understand why his throat was suddenly slightly blocked and he was blinking rapidly. "You guys . . ." was all that could come out of his mouth.

"Yah, be happy!" Jin pouted. "We spent like two hours putting this together! I mean it would've taken less time if Jimin hadn't popped like half of the balloons, which is why there are only like fifteen left, and if Taehyung hadn't lost his way going to the store, and if Yoongi hadn't gotten frosting all over the floor, and if Namjoon hadn't -"

"I'm really, really, really happy, hyung," Hoseok said, walking over and cutting Jin's rant off by giving him a long, tight hug. He pulled away and held onto Jin's shoulder's staring into his eyes. "I'm really, really happy."

Hoseok glanced over at Yoongi and saw Yoongi giving him a soft, gentle smile. He returned it and then looked at Taehyung, who was jumping up and down slightly, apparently holding back his giggles behind his blinding, box-shaped smile.

"Why did you guys do all of this?" Taking in the rest of the room, Hoseok was quite surprised by the amount of effort they'd put in. There weren't any decorations except for the balloons, but the room was actually clean, which mean that they'd had to sort through and pick up months' worth of Namjoon's trash.

"Because of last year!" Jin exclaimed.

"But nothing happened last year," Hoseok said, confused.

"Exactly!" Jin wailed, causing Namjoon to cover his ears and wince behind him. "You didn't tell us your birthday until April when we asked you and by then it was obviously over! You tricked us!"

"Yeah, hyung, why would even do that?" Jimin asked, smiling.

Hoseok laughed nervously and looked around the apartment again. "Where's the food?"

Yoongi and Taehyung exchanged a glance, communicating wordlessly. Hoseok caught the moment and gave Yoongi a brief glare. Luckily, Jin, Namjoon, and Jimin didn't notice it.

"We ordered pizza. It's coming," Yoongi piped up reluctantly.

"Yeah, we cleaned this place up for you and decided to surprise you, but we're still broke college students, you know?" Namjoon commented, laughing. "You're lucky we did this much for you."

"Way to make me feel good about myself," Hoseok replied cheekily, reaching out to punch Namjoon's shoulder.

Namjoon responded by blowing Hoseok a kiss, causing Hoseok to grab him and put him in a headlock. While the six of them were laughing at Namjoon begging Hoseok to let him go, the doorbell rang, and Jin opened the door to bring in and pay for the pizza. The person delivering the pizza actually ended up being Jaehwan, a very good friend of Jin's, so they struck up a conversation while the rest of them started eating. Finally, when Jaehwan realized that he was getting late for his other deliveries, he said goodbye and left quickly, yelping as he checked the time on his watch.

"You just made some other customers very unhappy, hyung," Jimin said, talking through a mouth full of pizza.

"Shut up, we haven't seen each other in a while because we've both been working. And don't talk with your-"

"With my mouth full, I know, I know." Jimin rolled his eyes while Taehyung and Namjoon snickered.

"Speaking of work, how's that going, hyung?" Hoseok wiped his hands on a napkin and leaned back after finishing his second slice of pizza, done eating.

"Good! It's kind of weird to be going through applications instead of writing them, you know? But it's cool."

Taehyung sat forward and frowned. "Wait, hyung, where exactly are you working?"

"I'm not working, per se." Jin smiled slightly. "I'm just interning in the admissions office of the college. I'm planning to stay here after I get my degree and start teaching vocal lessons, so they figured that it might be a good idea for me to analyze the students coming in. It's actually kind of unusual, but I guess the professors here like me."

Yoongi scoffed. "Considering how much you up to them, I'm not surprised."

"I don't up to them!" Jin replied indignantly. "I just think that it's a nice thing to be nice to nice people."

"Professor Hwang is not nice."

"He is once you get to know him!"

"Which you've obviously done." Yoongi gave Jin a smirk.

Hoseok decided to voice his opinion. "Professor Hwang is actually very nice. Maybe he just hates you, Yoongi hyung."

"The feeling is mutual." Yoongi scowled and sullenly took another bite of his pizza.

"Who's Professor Hwang?"

Namjoon grinned in Jimin's direction. "Someone you'll have next year. And the year after. And the year after. Have fun."

Jimin and Taehyung both groaned, not looking forward to whoever this Professor Hwang's was class.

The six of them sat and chatted for a while, until they finished the pizza. After it was done, Jin brought out a tiny cake from the kitchen and made Hoseok slice it into six parts ("Just because it's your birthday doesn't mean we don't get to enjoy it") while they obnoxiously sang happy birthday to him at the tops of their lungs.

"I hate all of you," Hoseok said, but couldn't hold in his laughter as Taehyung and Namjoon pulled faces at him. The cake was gone in a matter of minutes, and they sat around Jin and Namjoon's living room, relaxing. "Do none of you have afternoon classes?" Hoseok asked. Everyone shook their heads no, except for Yoongi who lazily raised his hand and said that he was ditching his.

"What class is it?"

"Professor Hwang's."

"This is why he hates you."

"Shut up."

The majority of the rest of the afternoon was spent watching Namjoon play a game on his computer. All of them crowded around the screen and became very emotionally invested in the game, cheering every time he moved up a level and booing every time his character had to respawn after it died. Admittedly, Namjoon was horrible at the game, so there was a lot more booing going on than cheering. When Namjoon let Taehyung and Jimin have a brief go at the game, they immediately managed to move up two and three levels respectively, putting Namjoon's skills (or lack thereof) to shame. Hoseok tried as well, and found that he was no better than Namjoon. Yoongi for it until he took a turn and did even worse than either of them, causing a riot of laughs. The last player, Jin, was the worst of them all, but they couldn't make fun of him because he threatened not to cook for the next two weeks if they did. That was something they couldn't afford.

Eventually, the fun had to end, and around dusk the four that didn't live in the apartment decided to leave. Jimin would head back to the room he shared with Sungjae, Yoongi to his own apartment, and Hoseok and Taehyung to their room. Hoseok thanked all of them profusely for celebrating his birthday when he had barely remembered it himself. Jin winked and told him to make his own birthday party better the following year.

When Hoseok and Taehyung got back to their room, they worked on their homework until both of them were yawning.

"Hyung, you should sleep."

"So should you."

"No, I'm not that -" Taehyung cut himself off as he yawned. "Okay, maybe I should. But I'm not sleeping until you sleep."

Hoseok sighed. "Fine." Turning off the lamp on his desk, he crawled into his bed and under the covers, snuggling into the pillow. Taehyung stood up, turned the lights in the room off, and got into his own bed. They laid in silence only broken by their yawns, listening to each other breath.

Although Hoseok was tired, the thoughts were running through his head nonstop, keeping him awake. The memories, the feelings that came along with them, all that he'd endured for so long. He couldn't deal with it. He hated these days, when everything reminded him of everything and he would lie in bed staring at the ceiling in the dark, feeling the mix of emotions climbing up his throat. Maybe he should call Yoongi, but no, Yoongi would be asleep by now, and he didn't really want to bother him.

Of course he was thankful that they'd done this for him. They cared about him. They really did. They'd done things over and over that had proven that.

So why was he still afraid?

Ah, that's right, he wasn't afraid of them.

He was afraid of losing them, just like -

"Hyung?" Taehyung said softly.

"Yeah, Tae?" Hoseok replied, struggling to keep his voice steady.

"Did you like your party? I know it wasn't much, but did you like it?"

"Of course I did, Tae." He couldn't keep his tone controlled this time.

"Hyung?"

"Yes, Tae?"

"Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying." Hoseok felt the tears running down the sides of his face.

There were a few moments of silence before Hoseok heard Taehyung shifting around, and then felt arms wrap around his torso, felt Taehyung's breath mingling with his, felt Taehyung's legs pressing against his. Taehyung reached out his hand and started Hoseok's hair gently, playing with the strands as they slid through his fingers. He then moved his fingers to Hoseok's face and gently wiped away the tears that were still spilling over. "Hyung?"

"Y-Yeah, Tae?"

Taehyung's voice was quiet and gentle, full of tenderness. "For once, let me be the one who's there for you, okay?"

Instead of answering verbally, Hoseok buried his head into Taehyung's neck and started sobbing, feeling Taehyung hug him more tightly in response. They stayed like that until Hoseok finally quieted, and both of them fell asleep, holding onto each other so tightly that it seemed like nothing could tear them apart.

"Hoseok hyung, are you okay?"

"What do you mean, Taehyung?"

"Last night you were kind of . . ."

"Oh, that? Don't worry, it was nothing. Okay, time for me to get to class! Bye bye, Tae Tae."

"Bye, hyung . . ."

Some time passed.

Yoongi's birthday was celebrated by waking him up at 5:00 in the morning to a burned pancake and a bowl of cereal. It was then celebrated again a week later, this time without almost setting his apartment on fire.

Exams and essays came and went.

The arts department put on some more shows, each more successful than the last as the performers' skills improved.

Administration, along with Kim Seokjin, began to make decisions about who would be admitted into the college for the following year.

Hoseok was bored. Extremely bored. And he could tell Taehyung was as well, judging from the way the younger boy had been twirling his pencil for the last ten minutes, staring down at his homework. "Wanna go for a walk?"

"It's ten at night."

"All the better."

"What? Why?"

"It'll be more peaceful. Come on, have you never taken a late-night walk before?"

Taehyung tilted his head as he considered. "Nope. Not unless you count walking back home late."

"I do not count that. Walks are for fun. Get up, let's go." Hoseok stood and stretched, pulling his shirt down the second he felt it start to ride up and show his stomach. When he noticed that Taehyung was still sitting and spinning his pencil, he rolled his eyes. "Come on."

"Hyung," Taehyung whined, pouting up at him. "I don't want to. It's too cold."

Hoseok raised an eyebrow. "Do you honestly think your pouting face will work on me after more than half a year of seeing it?"

Taehyung sighed. "It was worth a try. I'll change, then." Hoseok let out a satisfied smile as Taehyung stood and moved toward his small dresser, changing his pants and then taking off his shirt to put on a new one. Before he could, Hoseok stopped him, smile gone.

"Hey. Turn around."

Taehyung froze, and then reluctantly turned himself around so that his front was facing Hoseok. "I've gotten better, hyung. A lot better."

"It's showing," Hoseok commented proudly.

Indeed, Taehyung's ribs were no longer as prominent and his stomach wasn't sunken in. His arms and legs were also looking better, fuller and seemingly more muscular than they had been before.

Taehyung quickly pulled a shirt on, then a heavy jacket, and moved to the door, slipping on his shoes. Hoseok followed suit, although he opted for a thick sweatshirt, and soon the two were walking out of their building down the street.

There were only a few clouds in the sky. The moon shined brightly from its place in the sky, illuminating their surroundings with white light, making everything seem much more surreal that it looked in the daytime. The stars twinkled brightly, not as much light pollution stopping them from being seen since the college campus was slightly secluded. A light breeze blew, making Taehyung shiver slightly and making Hoseok grin.

"I love this weather."

"How are you not cold?" Taehyung pulled on his hood.

"You're just sensitive."

"At least it means I won't get sick," Taehyung muttered.

Hoseok laughed. "It honestly isn't that cold, Tae. You're just making it out to be since you didn't want to come out in the first place."

"Hmph."

"Cute."

"Shut up, hyung."

They kept walking for a while in silence, observing all of the buildings around them. They would very occasionally pass someone else on the street, but they could tell that almost all of them were drunk. Apparently taking walks past nine while sober was not a very popular practice at the college. The streetlamps glowed with yellow-orange light, creating spheres of light that would almost overlap with the next, but never quite did so. Almost there, but never quite succeeding, Hoseok mused to himself inside his head, wondering if he could turn it into some metaphor for his life. He kept watching the halos of light around the lamps as they passed by, quietly thinking, barely aware of Taehyung's presence next to him.

He perked up when they reached a park, one that he'd come to occassionally to clear his head. There was a specific spot that was a favorite of his, and he had a feeling that Taehyung would appreciate it as well.

"Tae, let's go this way," Hoseok said, grabbing onto Taehyung's forearm and pulling him to the right as they turned off of the main road and into the empty park.

Taehyung protested for a little bit, but stopped eventually as he realized Hoseok wasn't going to stop dragging him to wherever it was that he wanted to go. They traveled deeper and deeper into the park, until they finally entered an isolated corner that was separated from the open area of the park by a line of tall bushes. The only light source was a lamppost at the far end of the area, which just barely lit the entire space with yellowish light. A small bench was located with its back to the bushes, which would give a good view of the small clearing during the day. In the dim light, Taehyung wouldn't even have noticed it if Hoseok hadn't pulled him toward it and made him sit down. They perched on the bench side by side, peering into the haziness.

"Hyung, what -"

"Shh. Be quiet for a little bit."

Taehyung snapped his mouth shut and did just that, which brought a slight smile to Hoseok's lips. The silence was peaceful. No one was around except for them, and they weren't visible to anyone who might pass by because of how well the clearing was hidden and how dark it was. Occasionally the chirp of a cricket could be heard, or the rustle of a small animal moving through the leaves, or a car passing by on the road close by, yet none of those sounds mattered. The most important noise was their breathing, the way they were sitting next to each other without saying a word, but in full understanding. Granted, there were still secrets being kept, there were walls that had yet to be broken down, but they both knew they wouldn't be there forever. It was inevitable, that one day, there would be no more barriers. It was just a matter of time before they were ready, before they could face each other as they really were, without holding anything back. Then the bricks would fall, one by one, nothing holding them up anymore, and although it might be painful, the end result would one where they would be closer, more united. They just had to wait.

Hoseok was suddenly acutely aware of Taehyung's presence by him. He listened to the younger's breaths, falling into the rhythm of his inhaling and exhaling. He could smell his shampoo, and although he was used to its scent by now, he still found it sweet. Their arms were just barely touching, and Hoseok felt goosebumps spring up as Taehyung shifted slightly and his forearm pressed more firmly against Hoseok's.

Turning his head, Hoseok stared at Taehyung's face. The lack of light cast his face into shadow, but his eyes were still clearly visible. They shined in the darkness, and Hoseok could tell that Taehyung was somewhere far, far away, lost in his thoughts and his memories and his fantasies and his regrets.

It was odd that he wasn't drowning in his own, but that might have to do with the fact that Taehyung was next to him.

Hoseok couldn't look away. The light at the other end of the clearing was reflected in Taehyung's dark irises. Stars. Taehyung's eyes twinkled like the stars glimmering beautifully above them. The stars were light years away, but Hoseok didn't mind, because he had his own just inches away from him.

Feeling Hoseok's eyes on him, Taehyung turned to face Hoseok as well. When their eyes met, his breath caught in his throat, and any words that he was about to say died. There was only a sharp intake of air as he was startled by whatever it was he was seeing in Hoseok's face.

"You are beautiful," Hoseok said quietly, holding Taehyung's gaze.

Taehyung's eyes widened for a second, and there was more silence between them, but this one was charged, as they maintained their eye contact. Hoseok was the first to look away, and Taehyung followed afterward, but the atmosphere was still tense, filled with something that neither of them was necessarily willing to face, but couldn't be called a bad thing.

"You're just as beautiful, hyung." His voice was nearly inaudible. "Because you make me feel like I might actually be beautiful too."

And there were so many words that rushed into Hoseok's head, so many that he wanted to scream, proclaim as loudly as he could, but he couldn't. He just couldn't. So, instead of replying out loud, he reached his arm around Taehyung and laced his fingers tightly with Taehyung's. Taehyung squeezed back a little harder, and leaned into Hoseok, laying his head on his shoulder.

"Hyung, I'm not cold anymore."

An hour later, the air in the clearing was filled with the whispered words of two young boys. They were legally called men, but they weren't ready to be called that. They were still immature, terrified of the world around them that they didn't want to face. The air was thick, with unanswered questions and thinly veiled secrets. It was simultaneously stifling and liberating, the way the air pressed on the two of them and made them feel more together than they had ever felt before. The soft noise of the whispers, of the meaningful words, of the raw emotions, was carried gently by the wind, billowing outward, ruffling their hair and making them cling to each other more tightly.

The two young boys walked home holding hands firmly, huddling close to each other the entire way.

The darkness enveloped them, but rather than scaring them, it made them realize that they shined bright enough to light their own path.

The silence between them was more deafening than any words that they could have said out loud.

Even though neither of the two young boys was crying, was desperate that night, they curled up together on the same bed, an unspoken agreement between them.

They both felt more secure than they had ever felt before.

Hoseok was terrified.

Yoongi reached over to pull Hoseok into a hug, dragging him across the couch until they were tangled together on one side of it. He buried his face in Hoseok's hair.

"What's wrong?" Hoseok asked softly. He felt Yoongi shake his head, and turned around, sighing. "Hyung, tell me what's wrong. Are you okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine," Yoongi responded, his voice trembling and nervous, not making eye contact with Hoseok. "It's . . . I found out something."

Sitting up, Hoseok gave Yoongi a serious look. "Is it about Chansung? Did something bad happen to him? Did he do something bad to someone else?"

"No! No, it's nothing like that." Yoongi took a deep breath. "Please, Hoseok, it's not about him at all. Calm down."

"Okay, but you'll tell me?"

"Of course." Yoongi breathed in and out again. "So, Jin hyung is interning in the admissions office, right? He told me about this really amazing resume that he came across." Hoseok nodded, prompting Yoongi to continue. "He says that the kid is absolutely amazing. He has straight As, is on his school's dance team, is in the school's choir, is on the school's track and field team, has taken art extracurriculars and has a portfolio to go along with it that's incredible. He's taken college math and science courses, and received only ten points less than a perfect score on the main standardized test. He's very good at speaking, which comes across in a video he sent, and, of course, he's extremely good looking." Another breath. Yoongi reached out to grab Hoseok's hands and hold them tightly. "He's a junior in high school. He got all of the required graduation credits a year early. He's getting out of high school a year before he should and coming to college."

Hoseok felt nauseous. "Please, hyung, don't -"

"The admissions office is extremely impressed, and has offered him a full scholarship to this college."

There was a stone growing in Hoseok's stomach, weighing him down, making it hard to breath. "Hyung. Hyung, what's his name?" Hoseok knew his name already.

"Kim Jungkook."

*unintelligible screaming*

I'M ALIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I UPDATEDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

Also rip me I dropped a bomb we all knew was coming at the end of this chapter but I'M SCREAMING ABOUT IT MYSELF.

I would like to apologize for not updating for so long (I spent a good amount of time feeling guilty about it).

I would also like to thank people for not pressuring me to update even though I know the wait must've been super annoying. Remember, I'm a reader too, so I know how it feels.

I would also like to make it clear again that updates happen when they happen. Slow updates don't mean that I'm not invested in and committed to this story; I am. It just means that I have a bunch of stuff constantly going on and I can't handle writing on top of everything else.

Speaking of all the stuff that I have to do - I have a major thing Thursday and Friday, and I'm presenting stuff that I've been preparing for more than a month and I'm so nervous ahhhhhhhhh. Wish me luck~

A sincere thank you to all 176 of you who are subscribed to this story. You guys fuel my desire to update (especially those of you who regularly comment). XD

Until the next time~

<3 ^~^