Kim Dong-Hyub had practical conversations with parents later.  The thought of losing a son had never occurred to them.  They were stressed about the pressure they would be under and they were stressed about the pressure Kim Dong-Hyub would have to take in his life.  Their family had large circle of acquaintances and friends.  They were well known.  This would create gossip.  Society was not ready for openly gay couples.  They shared all that with him in separate conversations.

He understood.  He did not want to put his parents on any more pressure than he needed to.  He was already thinking about getting independent as quickly as possible.  He also knew enough to know he could not participate in some of the events that he used to go to with his parents and friends.  He avoided his old friends.  He was not sure how many of them knew.  He was not curious.  He knew his parents would have to deal with it more than him. 

Kim Dong-Hyub’s brother had called to say he was very surprised.  They had not spoken much.  Sometimes, Kim Dong-Hyub just wished everyone just owned the fact that he was gay and it was okay and gossip did not matter.  But, it was too much to expect.  Kim Dong-Hyub had asked his brother if his parents were really okay.  His brother had snapped at him.  “Do you think they are okay?”

That immediately told Kim Dong-Hyub that his brother was not very happy about it all.  ‘Ah, well’.

Kim Dong-Hyub had said he understood and then his brother had disconnected the call.

For the first time, Kim Dong-Hyub had broken down and cried.

That is how Han Tae-sun found him.

……

Han Tae-sun opened the door.  He heard big sobs coming from the bedroom.  He dropped everything and rushed in to find Kim Dong-Hyub crying with big sobs. 

“What happened?”

Kim Dong-Hyub was finally giving into all that he had been suppressing and putting a bold face on.  He did not know how effected he was by all this.  He had believed so far as he had Han Tae-sun, none of it would matter.  But it did.

It apparently mattered a lot.

Suddenly, the fact that he had to hide from his old friends, his parents were under pressure because of him and his brother was upset with him and there were people talking about him all just came crashing in.  He had his first real breakdown.  It was long overdue.

Kim Dong-Hyub did not look up.  He just put his head in his hands, sat on the bed and just cried. 

Han Tae-sun had no idea what had happened.  He went to him, held Kim Dong-Hyub as he cried.  He had never seen Kim Dong-Hyub like this. 

“You are scaring me” Han Tae-sun said.  “What happened?”

“My brother called.  My parents are not okay” Kim Dong-Hyub said between the sobs.

‘Okay.  It is finally hitting him how his life has changed’ Han Tae-sun thought.  He did not want to know anything else.  They could talk later.  Right now Kim Dong-Hyub needed him to be just there.  So, Han Tae-sun held Kim Dong-Hyub as he cried.

……

Han Tae-sun gave Kim Dong-Hyub some water.  “You want to out somewhere?  Change of scene?”

“I don’t feel like it.” Kim Dong-Hyub said.

……

Han Tae-sun finally managed to coax Kim Dong-Hyub out of bed.  Get him outside on the couch.  He had to get him distracted.

So, he called Collin. 

Collin irritated Han Tae-sun.  Mostly because Kim Dong-Hyub got along very well with him and they had a very easy relationship.  He sometimes got jealous of it.  But, perhaps that is what Kim Dong-Hyub needed right now.  Some normalcy.

Colin picked up the call.   “Han Tae-sun! This is not a pleasure at all”

They have never really warmed up to each other.

Han Tae-sun “Neither for me.  I am doing this under extreme duress”

Colin asked “How can I put you in more duress?”

“Come to Kim Dong-Hyub’s apartment” Han Tae-sun said.

This was an unusual call for Han Tae-sun to make.  Colin knew that.  Something had happened. 

“It will take me some time” Colin said.

“Can’t wait!” Han Tae-sun said as sarcastically as possible. 

Han Tae-sun continued to irritate Colin.  But it sounded like Kim Dong-Hyub needed him. 

‘May be I will carry beers.  Get drunk.  Let Han Tae-sun take care of us’ Kim Dong-Hyub had told him how angry Han Tae-sun was after they had their drunken night out.  That will be Colin’s revenge.  Get Han Tae-sun really angry again.  Ha!  That thought made Colin smile even as he left. 

Colin sometimes remembered the blanket he had found on him when he had woken up that day.  He did give Han Tae-sun the benefit of the doubt.

…..

Kim Dong-Hyub stayed in his funk.  Barely communicating.  He just sat there.  For the first time, Han Tae-sun felt helpless.  His own lack of skills to make people feel better bothered him. 

Han Tae-sun “Snap out of it Kim Dong-Hyub” he commanded.

Kim Dong-Hyub “Yah, leave me alone.  Go, do something.” He waved.

Han Tae-sun “Do you want to talk about it?”

Kim Dong-Hyub “No”

Han Tae-sun sighed. 

“Okay.”

He started surfing channels on TV, trying to find a program to watch.

They had a replay of School 2013 going.  Go Nam Soon and Park Heung Soo.  He watched with interest.  Those guys looked like they had good chemistry he thought.

Kim Dong-Hyub watched the TV blankly. 

……

Finally a knock on the door.  Colin was there with beers.

Han Tae-sun sighed.  His night was going to the dogs.

Colin saw Kim Dong-Hyub spaced out.  Han Tae-sun quietly told him “It all hit him today.  His brother called”.  Colin understood in an instant.

He nodded to Han Tae-sun.  Kim Dong-Hyub looked up, surprised to find Colin here.

“What are you doing here?”

Colin “Wanted to hang out with friends”

Kim Dong-Hyub snorted.  He knew Colin and Han Tae-sun just loved to irritate each other.

That was the first sign of life Han Tae-sun had seen in several hours. 

Colin “I got beers!  Let’s all drink”

Kim Dong-Hyub “He does not drink” gesturing at Han Tae-sun.

“Who was talking about him?” said Colin.

Kim Dong-Hyub snorted again.

‘Might as well’  Kim Dong-Hyub thought.

Han Tae-sun said “Today I will” surprising everyone including himself.

He was at home.  No one was going to slip anything in his drink.

So, they started drinking.

As they started get drunk, Colin’s constant chatter about his dad’s friend’s antics and bits about his dating life, stuff some of their fans did, started improving Kim Dong-Hyub’s mood.  Han Tae-sun took it slow.  He wanted to watch over Kim Dong-Hyub.  But he was starting to feel the buzz.

He wanted to get closer to Kim Dong-Hyub.  So moved closer, putting his arms around Kim Dong-Hyub and have KDH's head rest on his shoulder.

Kim Dong-Hyub snuggled in, getting comfortable.  Han Tae-sun started moving his fingers slowly on Kim Dong-Hyub’s shoulders feeling the warmth of his body. 

Colin “Hey ers!  I am here”

Han Tae-sun “Keep drinking”

Under no circumstances, Colin was going to stay and watch this.  Both guys clearly looked like this was going to go somewhere. 

When he could still walk, he was going to leave.

“You guys are s.  I am going”

Kim Dong-Hyub was drunk.  Han Tae-sun fingers on his shoulder were doing delicious things to him. 

Han Tae-sun decided to cut Colin a break.  “Sorry.”

He took his hands away from Kim Dong-Hyub even as Kim Dong-Hyub protested and asked Colin “Will you be okay? I can call a cab”

“I am fine!  I can get my own cab!” Colin yelled.  He was still not too bad.  He did not want to be a blocker.  ‘s’ Colin thought.

At least Han Tae-sun had the decency to walk him out.  He said quietly at the door “Thanks Colin”.  He looked so sincere, Colin forgave him.  May be he had helped with something.  He had fun anyway.  Till it looked like he would have to watch two guys make out. 

‘s!’

Colin left.

Han Tae-sun came back to the couch.  ‘Want to have some drunken ?’ he whispered in Kim Dong-Hyub’s ears after he kissed him thoroughly.  Kim Dong-Hyub was already reaching out, getting into his usual aggressive habits.  “Let’s do it here” Kim Dong-Hyub said as he pushed Han Tae-sun on the couch. 

Kim Dong-Hyub did not wait for permission.  He was already into it.  Han Tae-sun removed his own tshirt even as Kim Dong-Hyub aggressively put his hands down Han Tae-sun’s pants. He pulled Han Tae-sun’s pants down with one motion, Han Tae-sun helped him.  Then Kim Dong-Hyub flicked Han Tae-sun and removed his own pants. 

Han Tae-sun said “Wait wait” 

He would never do it without protection.  “My pants, back pocket”

Kim Dong-Hyub still had enough sense to know what he meant.  Even as he groaned in frustration, he found the , ripped it with his mouth, put it on himself all the while keeping Han Tae-sun pinned on his stomach.

Han Tae-sun knew this was going to hurt.  Kim Dong-Hyub had not prepared him, he was too aggressive.  But Han Tae-sun was hot enough with the aggression alone.  He always liked it when Kim Dong-Hyub got this way.  Sometimes, it had to be just hot and fast. 

Kim Dong-Hyub entered him with one and then covered Han Tae-sun’s body with his own.  He started saying “!” with each his .  Han Tae-sun just got hotter. 

They had some hot, steamy, drunken . 

It was not a great position.  Couch was uncomfortable.  Kim Dong-Hyub was drunk and Han Tae-sun was buzzed.  So, they did not care.  Han Tae-sun enjoyed the delicious pain.

……

He was sore the next day.

But the thought of it just made him feel hot again.  Sometimes, hot lasted longer in the mind. 

…..