I opened my the eyes, and I already could feel burning sensation under my eyes of all the crying I did. I just lied here without moving an inch and just staring at the ceiling. I could feel how I breathed with control and felt the softness of the blanket. My head was spinning out of control but it felt like I cried every drop out of my body and that there was nothing left. My heart was aching, my brain exploding but my feelings were numb, like I was under sedation. I didn't feel angry anymore. Just sad, very sad.
I lifted myself up so I sat up and pulled the blanket under my chin with both of my hands and pulled up my knees so my head could rest on it. I heard a soft knock on the door and wondered if it was Monster. I said nothing but the person came in and my eyes met Ji-Min's.
He had also a difficult look on him as he slowly walked in, asking permission with his eyes. He sat down next to me on the bed and before he could say a word I fell into his arms. He felt shocked at first but he held me tightly. I softly sobbed into his chest mumbling the words he coulnd't hear. One of his hands cupped my cheek and I looked up straight into his eyes. I could read the apoligy in his expression as he looked worried at me. He let out a sigh and put his hand back around my waist. My sobbing had stopped and I just plucked his t-shirt, feeling safe and warm.
"I am sorry for everything" he then whispered in my ear almost touching it. I couldn't say a word, scared to become angry or to ask questions. I don't want to know nor ask I just want to feel numb for now.
I grabbed Ji-Min tight as the door was bashed open to the point that it almost broke. I closed my eyes and I heard how Ji-Min skipped a moment of breathing. I looked up and saw Monster standing there. The feelings I numbed out came back.
I saw the evil smile, the people drinking my father's blood, his emotionless words and his empty eyes that looked at me by telling the news. He was pure evil, a dark demon from the depts of hell. The laughing that I heared pierced right trough my heart, as the vampires laughed at the news of a death. I balled my fists and felt the anger still rising as Monster had the guts to ask "are you okay?".
I looked at him, I almost wanted to laugh out hysterically as a madman, like I've lost my mind. I got loose from Ji-Min who tried to grab my wrist but I slapped it away. My eyes had one person in sight, Monster. He stood there like nothing happened, asking if I am okay? After the crying, suffering, aching.. I felt like dying yesterday!
I walked up to him without any hesitation, balled my fist and smacked him harshly full on his cheek. He didn't move, like he didn't feel it but looked me straight in the eyes without saying or doing anything. His lips didn't move nor his body and this angered me more, I wanted him to feel the pain that I am feeling.
Again I lashed out at him, much harder than before but he would give me the same emotionless look and I pushed him so he stumbled a bit but came back in the same position he stood. I breathed out loudly, my eyes preying on him, in my mind I had killed him a thousand times. I suddenly felt tears coming up and I pushed him with all my might against the wall, looked at him and gave him again a fist against his cheek, and again, and again. I continued to kick him while punching him in the face. I yanked him to the left and right and screamed.
After a full 5 minutes I was tired, my left hand held on to his collar tightly and I looked up. His lip had a little wound and his cheek looked a tiny bit bruised. I saw some blood dripping from his nose. I breathed loudly, feeling exhausted. But Monser still had an expressionless face but I could read something else in his eyes. Guilt.
Now my even heart felt sorry for him.
Then I felt the sorrow in my heart, this is not who I am, this is not a person that my father wanted me to be nor Nina wanted me to be.
I turned around letting the collar of Monster go and my eyes caught the ones of Ji-Min. I stumbled back towards him and he opened