All of people he knew and knew about his sickness, none of them can make Kyungsoo feel like his worthless with his health problem. He always can control his pride and never even once he ever think that his sickness is makes him weak. He won’t let anyone makes him think that way. Even when he need to bring the oxygen tank everywhere for his daily activities, he won’t let anyone underestimate him. He never accept any special treatment in public just because he bring the oxygen tank. He would refuse if anyone offers him a seat in the train or bus at traffic hour. He just want to be treated the same, it makes him feel more healthy and positive rather than seeing everyone having a pity on him.

But, there’s one person who makes him start to feel useless, worthless, weak. Park Chanyeol. Since he brought that invitation news to Kyungsoo’s room, Kyungsoo start to think bad about himself. He feel useless when he have desire to get Chanyeol back. He believe, in some ways, that if he fight for Chanyeol one more time, just one more time, he might get Chanyeol back. But, he think there is no use for doing that. Why? Because, even after Chanyeol back to him, then what next? Being a lover? He can’t even completely take care of himself, then how he can take care of Chanyeol? Let Chanyeol take care of himself? Being a burden? That is the last thing Kyungsoo want to be for Chanyeol. That is how the worthless feeling started to grow. He is worthless, he don’t even know until when he can live. Everytime he’s out of breath, his lungs felt so much pain that he prefer to just die already rather than get the breathless moment over and over again. And that is how weak Kyungsoo is. And what is more bothering than his health problem is, Chanyeol already find someone who can give him the gift Kyungsoo always want to give to Chanyeol. Byun Baekhyun, Chanyeol’s husband to be, can bear a child. He can give Chanyeol a complete family. Meanwhile Kyungsoo himself? No need more explanation. But, maybe, that’s not what Chanyeol wants.

***

Chanyeol’s wedding will be occur two weeks from now. Chanyeol is getting more intense preparing all the wedding things together with the fiancée. And his heart getting more pain every each day. How can he doing this to his heart and more to Kyungsoo’s heart and even with Baekhyun’s heart? He’s not saving any heart from letting this happened, except for his father’s heart that even not really care about his marriage life after this. Then why he’s doing this? Why he’s not doing anything to stop this before everything is too late to get fixed? Why he keeps all this marriage preparation still going on even deep inside of his heart he have an urge to do something about Kyungsoo? He have an urge like maybe his time with Kyungsoo is not getting any longer that he needs to do something while he can still winning Kyungsoo’s heart. The feeling like he’s going to lose Kyungsoo is familiar, like five years ago before he left to U.S., but more pain, more hurting, more aching. If there’s anyone who know how Chanyeol want to run to Kyungsoo right now is no one but Byun Baekhyun.

“Just Go, Chanyeol.”, Baekhyun said after realizing that Chanyeol’s mind isn’t there with him and the marriage meeting. Chanyeol can’t stop texting and sometimes he excuse himself to have a call. Baekhyun know that he and all these marriage thing won’t winning Chanyeol’s attention from the urgent thing that Chanyeol’s facing right now.

“Are you serious?”

“Well, you will completely and legally be mine after this two weeks, so.. yeah.. just go”

“Thank you Baekhyun, thank you so much!”, and Chanyeol run right away to the hospital. He got text from Sehun that Kyungsoo need to do his third surgery. Sehun explained that Kyungsoo’s lungs wasn’t supposed to get surgery this fast after last surgery that he just got about two months ago. The spare time between the first and second surgery is three years. So, Sehun’s explanation really clear to make Chanyeol understand how urgent the situation is.

Chanyeol drive fast to the hospital to be right there before the surgery starts. Even his mind is very complex with all the things he is thinking right now, he keep balancing the focus with his driving. He doesn’t want to end up being the one who get surgery. He runs from the parking lot to Kyungsoo’s room, but he sees that Sehun is relax, not like waiting for someone to get surgery.

“Oh, Hyung, you arrived..”, Sehun said to greet Chanyeol.

“Where is Kyungsoo?? Is surgery already done?”, Chanyeol asks, panting also.

“The surgery is done, he’s just got a small surgery, well techni