MAY 12, 2013

Yun felt as if were crawling on her as she thought over how to explain her news. She thought it would be a good idea to try to ease into the idea by taking up Tiffany's offer of a sleepover at her dorm. 'You do girl talk, eat some junk then calmly say it nonchalantly.' She prepped herself up with this idea for the last two hours since they started to settle in. "What's up?" her friend asked her, turning away from the movie that was the last thing on Yun's mind. The younger female looked down and started to pick to mushrooms off her pizza, wondering if now was the 'moment'. "Is the movie boring? It was on my watch list for a while and thought you might like it." Tiffany explain then added that they could watch another movie if she wanted. "No that isn't it." Yun admitted, the cream cheese off her finger and bit her lower lip. "What would you do if I told you something crazy?" She asked her. Tiffany shrugged, "How crazy are we talking? Like drunk message an ex crazy or trying to eat a 2kg Swiss roll cake crazy?" she took a sip of her drink, raising a brow at Yun while doing so. "Well…." Yun started, the feeling of butterflies welling up as she started her tale.

"Shut up." Tiffany said in English, a huge grin on her face. The older female was the first person Yun had chose to announce the big news to. "Are you serious?" Yun nodded, feeling a bit shy from the excitement her friend was showing her. "This is amazing. Do you know what are you are planning to do? I can't believe you did this all by yourself. I am so proud." Tiffany engulfed the smaller female into a hug squealing in joy. "I can't believe it myself either." Yun admitted, the news still felt unreal. But she had did it, she had made her first big step.

She had passed the application round for MNET's new television series.

Tiffany released her from the hug meeting Yun's small smile with one filled with pride. Yun, not knowing what else to say rocked awkwardly, wondering what happens now. "So what you are going to sing on the show?" Tiffany asked her, already promising to watch every episode of the show to cheer her on. "I don't know actually." she admitted. Tiffany understood her situation, she had those moments herself when she did covers during their tours. "Well, you should pick a song that means something to you for one." she started to explain, "But also one that you feel you can pull off but also put your own touch to it." Yun nodded at this, "It might also be a bad idea to sing one of your group songs right away." When the younger female looked confused Tiffany had to think of a way to put her next words nicely.

"Well editing is pretty bad these days. But if you sing one of your old songs you don't know what image they might show in the final version. They could even use the headlines as your introduction if you make it to the actual show's cast." Yun realized she never actually thought of that situation. She thought that the less she mentioned Lavender the less chances people would bring up the issue. "I will handle it. I mean, from what I have been through I don't think any other news could surprise me." Yun gave a brave face and smirked, "Maybe this will be my chance to perfect my bad girl rebel act." Tiffany threw a pillow at her, calling her the worst excuse for a bad girl. The two shared a laugh when Tiffany used a piece of fried chicken as a microphone when she gave Yun's 'bag girl' persona an interview.

It seemed like hours before the two finally felt tired from their antics. Tiffany had earlier laid out a spare futon for Yun to sleep on in her room for the night. As Tiffany drifted to sleep Yun found herself staring at the ceiling above her instead. 'I should be asleep.' she thought to herself , rolling to her sides a few times before giving up and returning to her starting position. 'You shouldn't worry about this now. If you worry too much you will find yourself backing out and regretting the chance passing you by.' she scolded herself, inwardly groaning at how she was actually lecturing herself into being brave. 'If I was Ari, Tiffany or Jiyong I bet I wouldn't be like this.' She imagined herself with their personality tips. Ok with trying new things and failing because in the end they would at least be able to say they tried.

'But the burn after failing is the scary thing.' she quickly pulled herself away from that thought. Not wanting to find herself drowning in her past self sorrow she decided to message the only person she knew would be awake at the moment.

'Self promoting oppa. I can't sleep.' Yun texted, smiling at the possibilities of his reply.

'What do you want me to do about it?' he texted back after five minutes causing her to scoff. She was about to give him a smart comeback when he sent another text showing he was joking.

'Say thing to make me brave.' She said, hoping it would be some magic words of wisdom.

'Are you scared of something?' He asked, she quickly dropped her cellphone when his concern strongly showed in the text.

Yun sat up and put her hands on her cheeks. Feeling their warmth she knew she was blushing from his small action. "Stop being like this. He texted that as a friend." She told herself. It began to seem like she made a mistake by texting him. Yun was going to tell him to ignore her last message when her phone rang. As fast as possible she answered it. Worried she might wake her friend she scurried quietly out of the bedroom. "Hello?" she whispered into the phone. "Are you ok?" Jiyong asked