Written by: "Annya"

Pairing: Wooya

Prompt: "I only look at you. Don't you see? Of course you don't. You only look at him. "

Warning: Swearing, a brief mention of kissing, abuse

A/N: I don’t really know if this meets your expectation or not, anon. It is kind of an abusive relationship (?) so if you don’t like these kind of depressing things...well sorry. Haha. And I didn’t really add much wooya in it but really it’s woogyu. Sorry. Howon takes up a major role in this whole story though. :3 Anyways have a merry Christmas and enjoy the story~

(Words: 2,031)

Sung Gyu was the first one to notice those bruises.

It wasn’t the first time to see Howon’s body. He had seen it for many times—in the changing rooms before performances, mostly.

But then, it’s his first time to notice those scars.

There were bruises—in ugly shades of purple and green and reddish brown—all scattered along his shin and his legs. The withdrawal of his trousers gave him a better expose of the grotesqueness etching on his lower body and under the layers of clothes Sung Gyu could see a fragile and restrained Howon he had been hanging onto.

He called out his name, longing for an explanation of those welts and ridges, under the name of the group’s leader and his former best friend.

Howon turned round slowly, the size of his iris widened as the pair of trousers he had been holding slid dramatically from his palms.

He smudged a forced smile across his face, voice strained and staggered and replied in the baritone of his, ‘It is nothing. I fell down yesterday during practice. Guess that’s why there are these bruises.’

Sung Gyu almost believed him. But as a former best friend, he did not fail to notice the gleam of fear and distress hiding behind the heavy veil of his eyelashes, and the shakiness in his voice as he spoke.

‘Are you all right?’ Sung Gyu took a step forward, and he frowned when Howon trembled more.

‘I…I am fine. Hyung. These are just little bruises. Nothing worse.’ Howon mustered a smile before rushing on, ‘It’s almost show time and I…I’d better change now.’ He picked up the fallen trousers and headed into one of the toilet stalls. Before Sung Gyu could react, Howon disappeared from the view with a slam on the door.

  Sung Gyu frowned. He certainly needed a talk with Howon later.

------

Howon and Woo Hyun had been dating for three months. The group knew it. Sung Gyu knew it.

  So when their ‘quality time’ turned into somewhat a blurred line between a normal hang out and a date, Sung Gyu decided to leave the two to spend time on their own. He didn’t care. He had Sung Jong. And Sung Yeol. And Myung Soo and Dong Woo and his pillow.

He tried not to feel lonely when he was left sitting in the sofa in a warm afternoon when supposedly everyone goes out and enjoy themselves and even the latest song of Nell could not block the noise coming out from the room that Woohyun and him originally owned.

Woo Hyun and him.

What an impossible thought.

------

Sung Gyu didn’t expect to see the sight in front of him, under whatever circumstances, even when he was only leaving his chair to get his mp3 player recharged.

‘Kiss me. Howon.’

‘No…Don’t…’ Howon tried to push away Woo Hyun from crashing his back onto the wall. ‘I can’t…Don’t…’

‘You can’t what?’ Woo Hyun replied, unable to contain the hint of smile tugging at the ends of his mouth.

‘Don’t kiss me and pretend nothing has happened the next day, Nam.’ Howon shook his head, finally gotten himself off Woo Hyun’s firm grip. He let out of a shaky breath and faced Woo Hyun with a new aura of determination. ‘Are you really my lover or not?’

‘You know perfectly that I am not playing with your heart, Lee Howon.’

Woo Hyun ignored Howon’s hesitant face and leaned in. ‘I love you, Howon. Seriously, I do. So trust me. One kiss doesn’t cost that much.’

Howon’s expression turned from dubious into somewhat a compromised one. He sighed, his hard figures blurring a bit, and Sung Gyu could hear him muttering, ‘Don’t lie to me again or you are going to die’ and Woo Hyun’s response of ‘of course I am not’. Howon closed his eyes and did not move even when Woo Hyun leaned in harshly for the kiss.

Sung Gyu stumbled back, hand grasping mindlessly on the doorknob, and closed it slightly. The tiny tympanic heartbeat bumping aimlessly around his ribs followed his heavy footsteps as he staggered back to his bed and crashed into his pillow with the fresh note of a sobbing.

------

  Kim Sung Gyu was not sure how he ended up liking Nam Woo Hyun.

They are the exact opposite of each other.

Woo Hyun, the well-known social butterfly, is out-going, friendly, and so funny that almost everyone throw themselves into the welcoming hugs of his. Sung Gyu, on the other hand, is plain lazy and bone-idle.He is so immersed in his own world that he tends to ignore whatever happens around him.

They are different. So different.

But Kim Sung Gyu still managed to like Nam Woo Hyun.

Wasn’t this similar to a miracle?

------

And it started like this one day.

For what it seemed, it looked like a normal Immortal Song 2 recording, starring Sung Gyu and Woo Hyun's collaboration stage. But Sung Gyu totally regretted going there.

Not that the program was bad--it was awesome, actually, with such a constant rate of performance and audience source--but he just couldn't shrug off the feeling that there was something wrong with his partner.

Normally, before going on stage, Woo Hyun had a tendency to either use his phone to text Howon or play games, or to sleep on the couch with his head lolling in odd directions. But today was exceptional.

When applying make-up and changing his clothes, Woo Hyun had been staring at him the whole time. The whole time means, well, the whole ing time. Never taken his eyes off him for once. Even when Sung Gyu excused himself to the toilet, Woo Hyun's eyes followed him every moment until his figure left the horizon.

Should he be happy? Yes, he should be. But to be honest, Woo Hyun creeped him out. Totally.

He had to bite his lips and stretched his face for smiles whenever Woo Hyun reoriented his stare from the audiences towards him on stage. There was not a mere trail of smile on his face—only the burning passion in his eyes that seemed to turn the stage into inferno and he seemed so out of control -- that was truly intimidating.

There was definitely something wrong with him.

His predictions were correct. Before even stepping into his room, he was pushed against a wall forcefully. He couldn’t see the culprit's face. He tried to scream, but his lips were sealed instantly with a kiss after a failed attempt at whimpering.

The kiss was harsh, as if the kisser was pouring every tingle of energy into his mouth. Sung Gyu tried to yell, but he hardly had a moment to do so as the air in his lungs was drawn out completely by the kiss. The delving of tongue isn’t helping as well; but instead of savouring the kiss, he put it to a quick end after a minute by biting the culprit’s tongue, as he gagged loudly as the taste of blood began to spread in his mouth in a quick rush of adrenaline.

'What are you even doing!'

Sung Gyu panted heavily, head leaning against the cold wall behind. Members were supposed to be close, but not intimate. Members don't go around pushing one against the wall and kissing their guts out. Members don’t love one another, especially when one of them had a boyfriend.

Woo hyun's boyfriend was Howon. Howon's boyfriend was Woo Hyun. Not Sung Gyu.

Sung Gyu clenched his fists tightly, and before Woo Hyun's lips could savour his mouth again, he pushed him away with all his might. Woo Hyun stumbled, back hitting onto the floor and looked at Sung Gyu with the same mad smile. He got up and leaned so much into Sung Gyu that he could feel the sensitive part of his neck getting itchy because of his breath gushing against.

'I love you, Gyu. I love you.'

The three words reached Sung Gyu so easily that he wondered if he was dreaming. The three words that he had longed for so much and so hard, and those words just reached his ears in the most expeditious way then that he was shocked. And scared. And furious.

Sung Gyu lowered his head, ‘How about Howon? Don’t you love howon?’

Woo Hyun kept his silence, his eyes boring into Sung Gyu’s lips, the fire in his eyes soothing into more like an ember that glowed in the night time. Sung Gyu sighed, and repeated the question again.

‘I thought Howon is your boyfriend? Do you love him?’

Woo Hyun didn’t answer it right away, instead he used his fingers to trace the collarbone of Sung Gyu. ‘I love you, Gyu, and this is all you should know.’ He answered after the moment of silence.

I love you, Gyu.

I love you.

Gyu.

The words sounded so foreign yet so familiar to him rang in his ears. It was Woo Hyun who said the words. It was Woo Hyun who claimed that he liked him. It was Woo Hyun who chose Howon than him.

  ‘I love you. Trust me. Gyu. I. Love. You.’

  That’s it.

Sung Gyu closed his eyes, his body giving in against the heat as he felt Woo Hyun’s hands travelling freely on his body. He thought he could see Woo Hyun behind his closed eyelids, but all he could see were the images of Howon and Woo Hyun kissing as if breathing was an afterthought. And he couldn’t help thinking that the wall he was pushed against now was the wall Howon was pushed against then.

The heady magic to ambivalence didn’t work, he guessed.

------

Sung Gyu woke up to the first ray of sunshine peering through the curtains, wrinkling his nose to the warm light shining onto his face. He turned his neck around and found himself facing an asleep Nam Woo Hyun and his arm being pressed under his head. He sighed and pulled out his numb arms from the tight grip carefully, not wanting to disturb the peacefully sleeping figure besides him. He crept down the bed that was a little bit too small for two people to sleep in and walked towards the wardrobe to grab his clothes for a morning shower. Before closing the room door, he heard Woo Hyun mutter something in his sleep.

Sung Gyu’s resigned sigh rattled in the empty corridor as he trudged towards the bathroom. He could still remember the heat lingering on his lips and the harsh push against the wall. He the tap and steam filled the cubicle immediately. The rivulet of water came gushing down the faucet, the warm water caressing Sung Gyu’s tensed muscles. He stood under the stream and let the water rinse his hair for a quick escape from the regimented yesterday. He reached for the body wash and started to rub the coconut fragrance all over his body. It smelt like home, and he stopped for a moment to embrace himself in the homesickness and sudden nostalgia. When he reached down to his knees, he noticed something odd.

A purple-black stain replaced the usual flesh and covered up some of his distinct carnose flesh. It looked as if he was slashed by a plait. He winced when he tried to touch them with the tips of his fingers. When had that smudge of ugly color crept up onto his flesh? He had no idea. It looked permanent, yet not harmful. He touched it again, now gritting his teeth tightly to prevent himself from wincing.

His mind suddenly came up with Howon and Woo Hyun’s face.

The first faint trace of bruise.

The mutters of Howon’s name in his sleep.

The bed too small for two people.

  The scattered dots became clear and started to connect each other by themselves. One by one, the puzzles reached against one another and tied themselves together.

  All of a sudden, it all made sense to him.

  Maybe he didn’t need to talk with Howon anymore.

  Sung Gyu tore his eyes away from the bruise and continued to bath.

(soundsecret)