I should of stayed upstairs.

Stepping out into the warm afternoon air I made my way along the powdered trail stretching across the lawn. The gentle wildflower breeze turning the backyard into a screen of smog, by the time I reached Jiyong my lower body was lost beneath the white smoke. "What are you doing?" I asked. Jiyong had been staring up, the showerhead spilling its cloudy spray upon his sad face, the whole of his orange hair ashened. Lifting his hand from the metal ring he waited until the last of the dust splashed over his face before looking at me. I couldn't read his emotions, his expression lost behind the dusty mask. "Jiyong?" His hands lashed out so quickly I barely had time to react, crushing our faces together I nearly choked on the powder that raced into my nose, the sandy feel of Jiyong's lips against mine causing me discomfort. His grip on my shoulders bruising, but none of that mattered. Instead, I focused on the warm streaks of wetness running along his cheeks to dribble down my chin.

He's crying

Pressing my hands against his smooth white jumper I found him easily removed. The weakness in his conviction made me question him even more, Jiyong had never been so submissive, at least not when it came to our interactions. Gently brushing a strand of orange hair away from his eyes, I looked at the sad brown orbs b with unshed tears. Murky trails of liner and dirt ran from his eyes to smudge along his delicate features. I couldn't help reaching out to touch him, my fingers barely grazing his skin when he turned from me. His back formed a wall between us.

"I'm fine," he muttered.

"You don't look fine,"

" I am."

"Okay sure, because when I'm happy I randomly burst into tears and drown myself in dirt too," I grumbled, moving around him I looked at his face, and searched for any sign of fire in his eyes. When he had grabbed me his hands had bruised my arms, he held on so tightly. Gripped me with an urgency that screamed out in desperation, but for what I wasn't entirely sure. "Did something happen at the party?" he shook his head. I figured that wasn't the problem, Jiyong seemed liked the type of guy that thrived in party's, enjoyed them with a certain kind of fulfillment that a group of people crowding each other lacked in appeal to someone like me. This was something more, something that had been bothering him for a while now. Why else would he nearly choke himself in dust when no one could stop him? "Does this have something to do with me?" I asked.

"No," he snapped, "leave it to you to somehow make my problems revolve around you."

"What does that mean?" I took a step back.

"Poor little name all upset because no one pays attention to her. News flash babe the world doesn't turn just for you,"

"How dare you. I came out here to see if you were okay, and you repay me by actly like...like,"

"Like what?"

"Like an ," I shouted, storming away from him.

"You know, you and Seungri would make a perfect pair. You're exactly alike,"

"You take that back," I spun to look at him. My hasty retreat momentarily stopped by the rage starting to swell in my chest. I was a lot of things selfish, mean, trouble, but nothing I'd done would make me anything like Seungri. He might of been nice today, but I was willing to bet he was simply saving what had happened between the two of us for a more pleasing opportunity, one to fit whatever agenda he had in making my time here miserable.

"Truth hurts. You're both so caught up in your own problems that the ways of the world are lost on you," he stepped backwards hands extended on either side of him. "Sooner or later you'll learn that life is one show after another, and you're just a disposable puppet. Easily replaced and never truly loved," I had to strain to hear the last of what he was saying. His eyes dropped when he was finished, hands falling lifelessly to his side, he looked like a man that had been utterly defeated. A man that had given up hope. I had been wrong, this had nothing to do with the party or me.

This is about the test.

Taking a deep breath I tried to calm myself down. Staring at my converse I waited until I had gained enough control over my emotions to look at him again. Jiyong had managed to walk a hundred or so feet from me by then, so I had to run aft