Shinhye POV

I ran at first. After I made sure I lost my best friend I walked. Then I kept walking. I don't slow down though I feel weak. I don't speed up though I think I feel a bit of  anger rising inside me. I walk at a steady pace and I'm not walking aimlessly. I'm headed to the nearest bus stop that would take me to my neighborhood. I walked home from Dae Jung's house the last time I was there, but I don't think I'm able to carry myself all the way today. 

As I sat on the bench waiting for my bus I drowned in my thoughts. It's funny because my mind was filled with Yonghwa's smiles, his corny words and his actions that made me believe he truly cared. I thought about how good he had made me felt only to feel horrible right now. A new love can heal and old one. 

I let out a soft mocking laugh at the words. Was it healing me? Well whatever I had that was growing for Yonghwa, it was mending the wounds Daehyun left on me. But now it slashed deeper cuts into my heart. Scars keep multiplying on it and I blame my irritating gullible self because I keep falling for all the sweet lies. Those that are fed to me and those that I feed myself. 

But no. Not anymore. 

I'm going to walk away from the edge of the cliff and walk on a path that will truly heal me. I'll heal myself. Just like I've been doing all this time before Yonghwa entered my life.

But that doesn't mean I'll fall back into my old ways and it definitely doesn't mean I'm not grateful for what he did do for me. 

Maybe his promises to make me happy were lies or just beautiful words to lure me in. Whatever they were meant to be, it doesn't matter because he did make me happy. 

Yonghwa is cunning. He's charming and secretly a nerd. But he too had his heart broken and I'm going to use that as an excuse to defend him for almost breaking mine though it was already broken. Yes, he now hurt me. But in doing so he also opened my eyes. 

I hear the soft shudder of the bus come to a stop in front of me. I walk up the steps and flash the driver my bus pass that I kept in my pocket. I took a seat at the back of the bus and leaned my head against the glass window. The ride wasn't as comfortable as the ones I had in Yonghwa's car. Stop right there Shinhye. I stared ahead at the orange sky and sometimes glanced at the passing houses. 

I pull out my phone and finally give Soo Rim's spam of messages little attention. I barely skim through her words because all I want to do now is sleep for the remainder of my bus ride and then bury myself in my bed once I'm home. So I text back: I'm bussing it home now but can you please get my things from Yonghwa's car and come over later to return them to me? We can talk when you come over, I'm just tired right now. Don't tell the guys we eavesdropped on them and don't kill Yonghwa.

I hit send, lock my phone, shut my eyes and ignore the immediate buzzing in my hand.

Third POV

Soo Rim didn't hear the rest of the guys conversation either. She focused on finding her best friend but failed miserably. When Shinhye wanted to hide herself from the world, she'll become invisible. However that excludes her escapes to the library. It'd be too obvious to go there. Home is everyone's safe haven but it could also be a cage. If Shinhye were home, not even Soo Rim could reach her from there. The only way to communicate to her would be through her cell phone but with the mood she was in, would she even reply to her texts? 

Soo Rim decided not to leave so hasty in case her boyfriend freaked. So after running around the block several times in search of Shinhye, she returned to the house for Dae Jung's assistance. Of course not before attacking Yonghwa. 

"The is your problem?!" She jabbed a finger at his chest. It felt like her long manicured nail was stabbing his skin while his left cheek still stung after she slapped him. 

"I should be asking you that!" He threw his hands up when Dae Jung pulled her back. "You should cut your nails. You're like Freddy Krueger with those," he added glaring at her fingers. 

"What happened and where's Shinhye?" Dae Jung turned his girlfriend around to face him after she calmed down. 

"She's gone," she spoke then pointed to Yonghwa. "Because of this ." 

"What do you mean she's gone? Did she run off or something? And what could I have possibly done to make her disappear, we were having an... okay day," Yonghwa said. 

Soo Rim looked into her boyfriend's eyes and placed her hands onto his arms. "Please don't tell me you're like him. I mean you're best friends with a player so I'm scared that what we have could be fake too." 

Dae Jung frowned then cupped his girlfriend's face right before covering her lips with his. He shook his head after pulling away, "nothing between us is fake. Yes my best friend is a player-" 

"EX-player!" Yonghwa interrupted. 

"Ex-player but I never let his decisions affect the way I make my choices. Especially in matters like this," he moved his hands down to hers. "I like you Soo Rim. My feelings for you are real, you don't ever have to doubt that." Her face reddened and her lips stretched into a wide smile. Yonghwa made a fake gagging noise in the middle of this and it woke her up to the situation at hand. 

"How dare you play with my best friend Mr. Best Charmer? Because of you my best friend is gone," she seethed. "You think you can get every girl to fall for you? I bet I can get you to fall hard." She tightened her hand into a fist ready to attack again but Dae Jung pulled her back. 

"Wait were you eavesdropping on us?" Yonghwa asked. "Did you hear everything?" 

"Oh we heard enough," she crossed her arms. "How could you feel nothing while Shinhye was feeling so much. And in such a long time she finally seemed happy again and I wanted to thank you for that. But then you had to say nothing was real between you two?! How could you?!" 

Yonghwa facepalmed and groaned, "talk about bad timing." 

"What, because we happened to hear your true feelings?" Soo Rim questioned. 

"No because you didn't hear my true feelings," he corrected. 

Dae Jung shook his head and asked, "did you text her?" 

"A million times but she didn't-" a loud buzzing noise sounded from her hand and she frantically unlocked her phone to read the message. 

"What did she say?" Yonghwa peered over her shoulder to read along. He couldn't help but feel good that her message included the instructions: don't kill Yonghwa.

Soo Rim let out a sigh of relief after replying back a couple of messages. "I thought I lost her." 

"I know she's hurt but by losing her you don't mean...?" Dae Jung made the motion of dragging his index finger across his neck. 

"The last time she got her heart broken, she made this invisible cage around herself. I understand it was to keep from getting hurt again but locking everyone out including me? I'm her best friend, I thought she'd want to talk about it and I wanted to help her but she was just so distant.

"We still met up in school but we hardly went out. In fact at some point we didn't even hang out anymore, all she did was focus on school. I couldn't talk to her about everything like we did before Daehyun, it had to be school related. But that didn't stop me from nagging her about having fun because I frankly got tired of it. I missed my best friend and I wanted to see her be genuinely happy. And she was getting there since the party but now..." 

"I won't let her lock herself up again," Yonghwa assured. "Let me return her things and I'll make sure she'll meet up with you to talk." 

"Well you can try," Soo Rim nodded. "The last time when Daehyun ditched her, she didn't reply to any of my messages. I'm glad she invited me over to talk about it this time and actually replied." 

Dae Jung patted Yonghwa's back, "you didn't break her heart after all. Though I'm sure you were close to it." 

"Thanks I think," Yonghwa said. He dug into his pocket for his car keys and headed out the house. 

"Yonghwa," Soo Rim called out as he sat in the driver's seat. He rolled down his window seeing the couple standing on the sidewalk. "You like her right?" 

He started the engine and shifted into drive as he answered, "how could I not?" 

---

Shinhye POV

I sniffled softly and used the sleeves of my shirt to wipe my damp cheeks as I hopped off the bus steps. Walking the short distance to my apartment I managed to hold in my tears so that I wouldn't break down in front of my mom once I greeted her. 

"How was school Shinhye?" She asked the moment I entered our home. She was in the middle of cooking fried chicken, one of Earth's heavenly foods and one of my favorites. "Same old same old?" 

"Mm hmm," I hummed in agreement hoping to end the conversation there. 

"You're probably going to study now yea? I'll let you know when I'm done here so we can eat," she said. Thank goodness. I locked my bedroom door and landed face first into my bed. I pressed my face against my fluffiest pillow and sobbed horribly into it. I don't know how long I cried but I just let everything out until sleep took over entirely. 

I don't think I slept for even an hour. It felt like I closed my eyes for five seconds and now my mom was calling me from the kitchen. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hands and pushed myself off my mattress from my planking position. I brushed my hair a bit then wiped any drool or snot with a few tissues. There wasn't anything I could do about my puffy eyes so I decided to deal with it when my mom questions me. I checked the digital clock on my bedside and confirmed I only slept for an hour.

"Smells good mom," I complimented when I was in the dining room. "Is dad coming la-" I stopped midsentence not expecting the person standing at my door talking to my mom.

"Hey Shinhye," Daehyun smiled and waved at me. 

"He says he's your friend from school but you never introduced me before," my mom states. That's because I had no reason to. "He's here to lend you a book you wanted?" I arched an eyebrow and walked a few steps closer to them to find a book tucked under Daehyun's arm. He follows my eyes trailing to the object he carried and swiftly hides it behind his back. "C'mon in Daehyun, Shinhye doesn't have much friends and I just finished cooking dinner." 

I openly roll my eyes at my mother's choice of words and she scoffs. "Okay maybe she does have friends but I'm left in the dark here," she says. She sets three plates at the dining table usually one each for me, her and my father. But this time the third plate is meant for the one who broke my heart. "Shinhye move aside so he can come in." No I won't move aside mom, I'm not going to have a casual dinner with this guy especially with you. This is just too.. weird. 

I face Daehyun ignoring my mom's orders and whisper to him. "What are you doing here? I never asked for a book," I said. 

Before he could answer me I feel a hand wrap around my wrist and watch another hand beckon Daehyun to follow inside. My mom forces me into my seat at the table then place two big scoops of rice onto Daehyuns plate as he sits down. "So how long have you two been friends? Unless you're Shinhye's boyfriend?" 

It's a good thing I wasn't drinking anything or eating because I would have covered the both of them in it. I do cough harshly and shake my head out of it.

"I'm just joking," my mom states. "I already know Shinhye is dating Yonghwa or I guess practice dating as you kids call it these days." I watch Daehyun's expression and he's confused for a brief moment. He seems to let go of the thought when he takes a chicken wing onto his plate. I sit still afraid to move as I feel the awkward tension my mom placed in the air brush against my skin. "I'm just joking again. I know Yonghwa is just your friend, though you even made it clear you disliked the guy." 

I nodded but quickly regretted the action. . Daehyun's here sitting across from me. He thinks I'm dating Yonghwa and my mom just revealed the truth in a way. And I had to confirm it by simply nodding. I bravely look up at Daehyun and our eyes lock. He doesn't look shocked or confused. Just... understanding? The fact that he's acting so casual about this scares me. We haven't had any real interaction in forever then all of a sudden we went on a ty double date and we're eating dinner together in my own home. 

This is not how I pictured my mom and Daehyun meeting for the first time. After middle school I didn't think they ever would. My middle school self fantasized a million different ways of their meeting. Dad would be sitting across from mom and Daehyun sat just as he was now. He'd smile at me then to my parents before happily confessing he loved me to them and wished for their blessings of our marriage. Yeah I know it's too soon but I was in middle school and I couldn't control my heart or wherever my mind wandered off to. 

Come to think of it, I still can't control my heart.

Or my mind. .

"I knew Shinhye back in middle school actually. I guess she just never talked about me," he answers my mother with a tad bit of sadness in his tone. I don't like it. He's not supposed to be sad that I didn't mention him. He's not supposed to care. He's not supposed to be here. "But that's my fault because we drifted a bit after middle school." 

"Maybe that's why Shinhye doesn't go out much. Losing a friend is like losing a part of yourself," my mom points out. She doesn't realize how close she is to the truth. The serious statement doesn't make any of us speak up so she keeps up the conversation. "Do you happen to know Yonghwa too? He's so interesting from what Shinhye describes and from my one meeting with him but what do you think about him?" 

I wish I was evil sometimes. So I'd feel nothing when I knocked my mom out cold with a-

I don't mean that. I'm just going crazy from not being able to stop my mother's endless questions but also bracing myself for Daehyun's answers. 

"I think he's interesting too," he agrees. "I think he's very good at being straightforward with someone and it's a trait I wish I had." I smiled at the praise Yonghwa earned from Daehyun but quickly dropped it when I remembered why I cried today. 

"It depends on who he's with," the words leave my mouth without my permission. "You can think he's being honest with you when really he isn't until you hear things you weren't meant to hear." What the am I doing?

"And you think to yourself that he can't lie to you because you both shared some drunk thoughts and secrets and that would form some sort of special bond between you two. That he would want to stay real with you. So he promises you that things will get better and they do but not to the point you want them to be. Because where you want to be is with him but after eavesdropping on the truth you realize it's all been just a dream," tears pool up in my eyes but I don't stop to wipe them. I should stop talking but I can't seem to bring myself to. "You've been fooled once again into thinking someone might actually like you. Into thinking just because you shared one thing in common whether it be a favorite anime series or a broken heart, you could have that happiness that everyone else in the world seems to have. Someone you can be straightforward with all the time without hesitation. But you can't now because you eavesdropped. You're reminded that you have to be wary of people and keep your guard up like you did before he offered you a drink at that stupid party." There's more that could be said but with the little strength I have I stop myself. Saying it loud was hopefully the final wake up call for me to move on from love. 

And focus on life. 

---

"I know I have a lot to explain so please be patient because I'll start from the beginning," I tell Daehyun. We're standing outside on my terrace and although my speech was quite emotional I didn't receive any hug or even a pat on my back. My mom just cleaned up our dishes and allowed us to have our privacy. This is one of those times my mom actually backs away and I'm so grateful for that. I know she'll ambush me later but right now I'm soaking in the space she gave me.

"You don't have to explain everything. I know," he said. What does he know? He can't possibly know. "You and Yonghwa aren't really dating right?" So that he knows.

I sighed and hang my head between my arms resting on the railing. "Leeyoung told you," I said softly. Well I guess this isn't entirely a bad thing. I was going to explain this anyway and now that Leeyoung broke her hold on me, I won't have to listen to that 's commands any longer. "I'm sure you want to know why." 

"I already know that too," he replies quickly. I shake my head unbelievably forgetting that I did confess my feelings to the guy long ago. But he couldn't think I still held them now right? I mean yes, I still felt nervous around him especially now since I've decided to reveal all. But I'd like to say I'm about 75% over him and that's more than half. "You were trying to make me jealous." 

I open my mouth to protest but he cuts me off, "Yonghwa was trying to make Leeyoung jealous too." 

I would have shook my head at that assumption knowing full well Yonghwa repeatedly told me he hated Leeyoung. But what if that was another sweet lie? What if he only told me that so I'd have false hope that I was the only girl in his heart? I don't want to say anything wrong so I try to change the subject. I sadly bring it back to me.

"I was trying to make you feel jealous," I confessed then actually chuckled. "Pretty lame huh?" 

"No it was more of an eye opener," he leans his back against the railing. I stare at the street below us and keep my eyes down because I know looking up would bring my gaze immediately back to his. My eyes stay down but they do still wander. They land on the book he held in his left hand and I used whatever ninja skills I had to swipe it from him. 

I gasped lightly seeing it was an InuYasha manga book. It was one of my favorite volumes because it was when the two main characters share a lot of couple-ish moments. "You remembered?" I asked.

A couple of days before I decided to confess to Daehyun, I asked him if I could borrow this specific volume. Gosh I was so desperate at the time for this book and for more interactions with him. I even texted him my address so he could drop it off himself. But he instead promised to give it to me at school when he remembered but after my failed confession I didn't give a damn about my request anymore. 

"You were like my little sister that time. I didn't want to disappoint you," he confesses. It hurt a bit that I finally know what he thought of me back then. At least he didn't call me pathetic the way Leeyoung did. Although little sister still makes me feel pathetic. "But you're not my little sister. You never were and only now I'm beginning to realize how much more you could have been. How much more you are." 

I feel him shift closer to me, too close. I don't budge though because I don't want to surrender to whatever he's doing. I want to show him I'm a wall that can't be knocked down. He's behind me now and his arms wrap around my shoulders. His jaw is pressed against my temple and I feel goosebumps all over my skin at his touch. 

"You can explain yourself first and then I will," he whispered.

My heart is beating erratically and I'm contemplating what to do. Listen to him and speak as he holds me because this is what I've wanted for the longest time? Or push him off of me because I've changed now? His arms tightened around me possessively and I question his claim on me. He can't claim me, no one can. 

I decide to stare at the street again to gather my thoughts but they stop at the eyes of the one who almost broke my heart today. He's parked at the curb and has my bag hanging off his left shoulder. 

A/N: I finally update after a couple of weeks! I feel much better now and I've been going out alot which is partially why I haven't updated. I had stupid writer's block too until my friend suggested some books for me to read and now I'm just motivated to write as good as that author! I highly recommend you guys read Maybe Someday by Colleen Hoover. You find it online anyway but I used epubbud.com. ^^ 

Anyways, I'll try to update soon again but it's going to be hard because in two weeks I'll off to Korea! It's my first trip ever but I'mexcited. I'll be there for four months on study abroad but I'll still try to write and finish this story. Now gimme yo comments~