So Close, Yet So Far
Towards YouThe drive home was awkward, and when you say awkward you mean awkward. Neither of you were talking, so the silence was a bit uncomfortable. Jongin glanced over at you and noticed you squirming.
“Does your ankle hurt?” he asked.
“Oh” you glanced down at your ankle. “It’s okay now” you said. “It’s just a bit… quiet in here” you added, glancing at Jongin then at your hands.
“Ah” he said, while reaching for the radio button.
He began switching through the radio stations and decided on one that was currently broadcasting a talk show. The subject of the show was relationship horror stories. The woman on the radio was complaining about her boyfriend breaking up with her through text.
“I just can’t believe that after two years of dating, he didn’t even have the decency to talk to me in person” she said.
“Oh my my, that is quite a bad breakup story” the radio host said.
You and Jongin gave each other a look, something along the lines of confusion mixed with amusement.
Then the show took a bit of serious turn.
“I just feel like all the moments and memories we shared were all for nothing” she said. “I noticed he was having family problems and he became so distant from me. I wanted him to share his feelings with me so that I could be there for him, but he didn’t. He just left, without even a goodbye”.
Your vision started to become blurry and you realized why. This woman’s story had touched you because it was very similar to your own.
Your apartment was approaching so Jongin flicked the parkade door switch that was attached to the visor on his side. He drove in and parked in an empty parking spot. He looked over at you and noticed you were looking straight ahead, lost in thought.
“That’s why you can’t trust men these days, can you ladies?” the radio host cheered
Jongin put the car in park and took out the keys which automatically turned off the radio.
“He should have at least said goodbye” you said without thinking. Your eyes widened once you realized that you did infact say that out loud and not in your mind like you had been intending.
You looked over at Jongin who was giving you a confused look; you guessed that he probably wasn’t listening to the show. You were kind of thankful for that fact; you didn’t want to talk about this with him, not now, not ever. You didn’t want those memories to return, those memories that haunted you for years. Jongin was here now, and although you didn’t want him to be, you had no choice. You had to get along with him because you’re neighbors and you’ll be seeing him around whether you like it or not.
I’ll just have to pretend like it never happened. Like those feelings never happened.
“____ -ah?” Jongin said.
You looked over at him with a surprised face.
“You okay?”
“Yes.” you replied. You still spoke to Jongin in a fairly formal way, while he most often spoke to you informally; it was always like that between you two.
You were about to grab your bag from the backseat when you heard a growling noise. You looked over at Jongin and assumed it was his stomach.
“You should eat.” you said.
“Actually… I think it’s you.” he smirked.
Me?
You heard the growling again and it was most definitely coming from you. You grabbed your tummy in embarrassment. Jongin chuckled and got out of the car and shut the door behind him. You did the same and followed Jongin into the elevator. Once you reached your floor, you stepped out and said bye to Jongin, giving him a small bow.
“Aren’t you hungry?” he called out from behind you.
You told him you would just make something at your own apartment and call it night. You hoped he didn’t remember that you were actually terrible at making food, so in reality you’d probably just end up making some instant ramen.
“We both know you’ll just end up eating ramen.” he smiled
Crap, it’s like he’s reading my thoughts.
“I made some Dakjuk last night” he said. “I remember you always liked eating Dakjuk…” he said, looking at the ground.
Well you were hungry, and just the mention of Dakjuk made your mouth start to water. You agreed to his suggestion and Jongin pulled out his keys and unlocked his front door and both of you stepped in. Once you got inside, you looked around and it was exactly how you imagined it. It was clean yet a little messy at the same time. The walls were covered with paintings. There was one painting of Michael Jackson that you took a little longer to appreciate. You remembered how Jongin would always talk about MJ and how he aspired to dance like him one day. As you turned around, you heard barking coming from the kitchen and you started to smile. Monggu and Jjanggu came running towards you with pure joy plastered on their little faces. You almost forgot about Jongin’s pet dogs.
How could i have forgotten about them.
The two of you used to take them for long walks during the summers; you even took them to the beach one time. All those memories seemed so out of reach now.
Monggu snuggled up to your side and you wondered if he remembered you, it had been too long, there was no way he did. You flattened his ears and kissed his head, snuggling him in the process.
“They missed you.” said Jongin, while coming out of the kitchen carrying two bowls of food.
He placed the bowls on the dining table and motioned you over.
You gave Monggu one last smooch and placed him back on the ground.
Once you started eating it felt like you never wanted to stop. It was so good, seriously so good. Jongin knew how to cook, although it never made sense to you why, since he always had servants around his house that did most of cooking, cleaning, and just about everything else. But you had a hunch, his sister probably taught him. His sister was probably one of the sweetest and loudest members in the Kim family. You remember first meeting her on the day you and Jongin decided to go bike riding. While you were riding, he called your name and you mindlessly looked back at him and veered out of control and hit the side of a tree. You ended up scratching your left hand on the tree bark pretty awfully. There was blood everywhere. Although you weren’t in that much pain, Jongin took you to his house and called his sister. You assumed she was a doctor or a nurse because she gave off that vibe, but Jongin later told you that she just loved helping people. After that day, Jongin was very careful around you when you two played, it really annoyed you.
You looked down at your left hand and spread out your fingers and eyed the area around your ring finger.
Yep, the scar was still there.
You forgot you had that scar.
So that day on the elevator, he was looking for the scar. He wanted to see if it really was me.
You sighed.
Jongin looked up when he heard you sigh.
“Foods not good?” he said.
“Aniyo? It is” you smiled. “How’s Unnie?” you asked.
He shot you a surprised look.
“She’s good, she’s working on some fashion project in Seoul.” he said.
“Is she still going out of her way to help others?” you smiled
“Yeah, of course she is.” he laughed. “In a way, you were a lot like her back then.” he added.
“I was?”
“Yeah” he said putting down his spoon. “I don’t think you noticed yourself doing it, but I always noticed how you were a little late to school each morning because you took the time to help that Halmoni cross the road.”
“Also, I noticed how the last weekend of every month you’d disappear. You said it was because you had to help your mom with some errands. But it was really because you volunteered at the homeless shelter. You didn’t want anyone knowing, did you? Not even me huh? ” he said pretending to be hurt.
Your eyes widened at his words.
You felt uncomfortable about the fact that he knew so much about you.
He took the time to notice these things? You felt a smile appearing on your face but you suppressed it.
You slurped up the rest of your food while feeling Jongin’s stare upon you.
“I should go” you said, standing up.
“Okay, go rest that ankle.”
“Thanks for the food, it was delicious.” you smiled
You turned around and started walking away; glancing over shoulder one last time before shutting the door behind you.
For a brief moment you caught a glance of him.
He was smiling, his eyes glistening.
A/N:
How did you like this chapter!
Tthis is probably what Jongin does when he misses his dogs.
Jongdae is so fluffy just like Monggu >.<
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