Taehyun got up to close the door shortly after Mino left his room. His face was still flushed red and he couldn’t stop smiling. He leaned on the door as he cupped his face, remembering Mino’s touch that he felt earlier, those warm and rough hands on his cheeks.

He walked to his bed grinning like a Cheshire cat and sat at the spot where Mino sat earlier. As he stared at the chair he sat earlier during their kiss, his head replayed that precious moment he experienced with Mino. He got embarrassed again and took a pillow to cover his face, like as if someone was watching him.

“What is this feeling?” he asked himself as he rubbed his stomach, still feeling the butterflies in his stomach. “Was it this beautiful when we kissed in the alley?”

Outside, Mino was pacing back and forth the living room thinking about what just happened a couple of minutes ago. “What the heck did I just do?” he asked himself.

He was torn between his old feelings and current feelings. He sat down on the couch with his hands cupping his face. “Ah I promised Hoonie hyung not to…” he muttered under his breath. He stood up again, feeling restless as he stood by the window sill, looking far with all sorts of thoughts in his head. “Ah….” he sighed again.

“Why did I do that?” he asked himself again. “Why does it feel like it was the most natural thing to do?” “Maybe I have been wanting to do this since many years ago...” “Ah this isn’t right…” he conflicted himself.

Taehyun’s door creaked open and Mino froze, as he turned his head to the direction of Taehyun’s room. “Oh no, how am I going to face this boy?” he asked himself.

“Hyung, thanks.” Taehyun blushed as he smiled sincerely at Mino.

Mino avoided his eye contact.

“T…Taehyun ah. It’s not that, but I think this isn’t right…” “I mean,… you know,…” Mino stuttered as he rummaged his messy hair.

“W..what do you mean, hyung?” Taehyun asked, confused about Mino’s feelings.

“I don’t know. My feelings are really messed up right now. I don’t…” just as Mino was stuttering about his feelings, the doorbell rang.

“I.. I should get the door.” Taehyun cut, in the middle of the confusing and awkward situation.

The members came back with lots of food in their hands. They had all sorts of food they were craving of and were really excited with their buys. Mino took out the plates to transfer the food over and Seunghoon went over to the kitchen to help him while the rest brought the food out to the table.

“Hyung.” Mino called out Seunghoon as they were the only ones in the kitchen. “I…I think I did something wrong.” He confessed slowly. “I.. I’m so confused about my feelings. I’m not sure about my feelings… I… I…”

Seunghoon who just washed his hands turned around to look at Mino. “Did something happen while we were out?” he asked as he looked at Mino.

“Hoonie hyung. Mino hyung! Come let’s eat! We are starving!!” Seungyoon called out, breaking their silence.

“We’ll talk again after dinner okay?” Seunghoon tapped Mino’s shoulders before he took the last plate out.

Mino washed his face and joined the others for dinner. Throughout dinner, Mino was the only one who was quiet. Even Taehyun, who is usually quiet when they are eating, is unusually talkative today.

Seungyoon noticed the unfamiliar Mino and Taehyun who were acting weird at the dinner table. “Yah, did something happen with the two of you? Did you guys changed personalities or something” he asked, laughing a little.

“Why hyung?” Taehyun asked Seungyoon. “Why is Mino so quiet today and why are you so talkative?” he asked.

“Hyung you don’t like it when I’m happy?” Taehyun asked Seungyoon with his mouth full. “No, it’s not that. I mean,… it’s funny, don’t you guys think?”

“I don’t know about Taehyun, but Mino’s always like this after he wakes up. He’ll warm up soon.” Seunghoon spoke up, trying to defend Mino because he knew something happened to Mino considering that he tried to tell him something in the kitchen earlier on.

“Really?” Seungyoon scratched his head. “Oh by the way, how long have you guys known each other? I mean you sound like you know everything about each other.” He asked again.

“Hmmm, actually we kind of lived together for about a year or so…” Seunghoon started.

“Together? As in only the two of you?” Taehyun asked, almost choking on his food. He couldn’t believe what he heard. Even while they were in a relationship they have never really lived together or literally slept together.

“Yeah,… we met in school and we got closer ever since. Then after we found our passion for rap, we decided to rent a studio house to practice. Because Mino lives with his grandparents, he didn’t want to disturb them when he is practicing. And my aunt… well she… found a boyfriend? So.. you know..it’s inappropriate for me and Mino to hang around there and disturb their personal space….” Seunghoon laughed. “So since then we moved out and lived together for about a year or so, until YG called us. We know each other too well now.” He grinned.

Taehyun looked at Mino who was ignoring the conversation. “No wonder you guys bathed together. Who knows what else you two do all alone in that house.” He muttered under his breath, still eyeing Mino.

Dinner ended with the boys playing a game of who had to wash the dishes and Mino lost, so he had to wash the dishes. The other members went to their rooms after they were full to enjoy the rest of their free day just chilling in their room, which they haven’t had done so in a long time.

Taehyun lingered around at the kitchen entrance, looking like as if he wanted to say something to Mino. “Either you help me with the dishes or you go to your room.” Mino said directly to him.

“Uhhh… okay I’ll help.”

Taehyun took the other pair of gloves and started rinsing off the dishes that Mino had soaped. There was an awkward silence for a while because both of them were keeping quiet.

“So… you lived with Seunghoon hyung for a year?” Taehyun started the conversation.

“Mmm. 1 year and 8 months to be exact.” Mino answered.

“Wow that’s a long time… Anyway why were you quiet during dinner just now?” Taehyun asked.

Mino stopped soaping the dishes and lowered his face. “Ahhh…” he sighed.

“I don’t know if this is right Taehyun ah. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what I’m feeling. To be very honest, my feelings have been like a roller coaster ride ever since you left. It’s… uncertain.” Mino confessed, slightly turning his head to look at Taehyun who was looking at him.

“I don’t know. I’ve been blaming myself since you left but I never really thought it was my fault.” He continued, trying to control his tears.

Taehyun looked at Mino earnestly. “I…I’m sorry. For making you feel this way.”

Mino sighed. “No please don’t be sorry. I’ll feel even more burdened.”

“Can we just pretend what happened today never happened? I… I think I’ve made a mistake.” Mino confessed.

Taehyun dropped the cup he was holding in his hand into the sink making the two of them look up at each other immediately at the loud noise.

“So you were playing with my feelings? You know I was at my lowest point and you took advantage of it?” Taehyun raised his voice slightly.

“Shhh the hyungs are going to come out.” Mino tried to calm Taehyun.  “That’s not what I meant. I mean.. I don’t know what I’m feeling right now and I’m really confused. I think I’ll need a little more…” Mino explained himself.

“A little more time? Hyung, I don’t know what happened exactly during the four years but you have really changed to the point that I don't recognise you anymore. What happened to the Mino who used to always cheer me up when I’m down? What happened to the Mino who was always so sincere about his feelings?” Taehyun asked, frustrated.

Mino sighed as he took off his gloves and rubbed his face.

“Pain changes people.”