i dunno if i should put a warning, but i describe a panic/anxiety attack in this one

(important notes at the bottom!!!)

            Sometimes a lot of things hit him all at once. It was always unexpected and he was never really prepared for it. He could be reading, doing just about anything, it didn’t matter what, and then his chest would clench up and his heart would pound in his ears. His hands would shake and it took a lot of focus for him to find his way to his room and shut himself in. Once the door was closed, the shaking would spread and his throat would constrict and breathing became difficult. Shuddering breaths were forced past tight lips, and more often than not his legs would give in before he could get much farther and the room would spin. He would sit where he landed, waiting for the attack to pass.

            Hakyeon had just been looking through some of his books when he felt it coming, and he carefully put the book in his hand down, and retreated to his room. Taekwoon’s door was open, and he was stretched out on his bed. When he saw Hakyeon pass by, he immediately stood.

            “Hakyeon?” The elf didn’t respond, just continued down the hall, keeping his eyes trained on the floor beneath his feet.

            “Hey, Hakyeon, are you okay?” The hitch in Hakyeon’s breathing was enough of an answer, but before Taekwoon could go out and catch him, the door at the end of the hall shut firmly and Taekwoon sighed. At this point the best thing he could do was just to have a warm snack and tea made for the elf as soon as he felt able to, as Taekwoon had always done. He wouldn’t know it, but the gesture meant more to Hakyeon than he would let on.

            About another hour passed before Taekwoon heard a knock on the main house door. He debated leaving it alone, pretending like there was no one home, but a quick check at the clock convinced him otherwise. It was twenty minutes past six, which meant that it was probably Hongbin, and Taekwoon figured if the human was going to be sticking around for a while, he might as well know about everything now.

            As soon as he opened the door, he could easily notice the worry on Hongbin’s face.

            “Hey, Taekwoon, is Hakyeon here? He didn’t come to the shop today, so I wasn’t sure if…” He trailed off.

            Taekwoon nodded. He had forgotten that Hakyeon always made sure to be there on time, so he understood his worrying.

            “Yeah, he’s here.”

            “Is he okay?”

            Taekwoon opened the door wider.

            “Why don’t you come in, and I’ll explain.” Hongbin nodded, and followed him back into the house.

            Taekwoon leaned back in his chair in the silence that followed his explanation. Hongbin was staring at a spot on the floor.

            “Why?”

            “Why what?”

            “I mean, why does it happen? Is there like a trigger, or something?”

            Taekwoon shrugged.

            “Not as far as I know, or at least as Hakyeon has told me.”

            Hongbin was quiet for a moment.

            “And where is he?”

            “In his room.”

            “Is the door locked?”

            “Sometimes, sometimes not. Depends on the day. I haven’t checked, so I wouldn’t know, and when I have he doesn’t seem to appreciate it very much.”

            Hongbin nodded, and pushed back in his chair.

            Taekwoon watched him get up, and turn towards the hall.

            “I hope you have better luck than I do,” he murmured under his breath.

            The walk down the hall felt twice as long as it usually did, and Hongbin was racking his brain the whole way. What was he supposed to say, if anything? He was unsure of even going to check on Hakyeon, what would his reaction be? He didn’t know, even as he stood in front of Hakyeon’s door. Was he supposed to knock, or should he just go in? He decided on the latter, figuring that knocking might not be the best way to go about it. He cracked open the door, and looked into the dark room. There weren’t any lights on, and it was almost completely silent.

            “Hakyeon?” He called tentatively. He heard a shuddering breath being released, from the corner. Hongbin thought about turning on the light, but instead just stepped in and closed the door behind him, throwing the room into complete darkness again.

            “Hakyeon?” There still wasn’t a solid response, but this time Hongbin could tell where it was coming from, in the space between the wall and the bookshelf. He carefully found his way across the space, dropping to the ground when he knew he was closer. He reached out his hand until it hit the wall, and when followed it until he felt his hand touch skin.

            “Hey, Hakyeon.”

            The elf shifted, and Hongbin almost thought he was going to shake Hongbin’s hand off of his arm, but instead he turned until he was almost facing him. Hongbin couldn’t see his face, but could feel the slight tremors of his arm. He tugged on Hakyeon until he fell off balance, and Hongbin caught him and looped his arms around the other, pulling Hakyeon into his chest. He didn’t say anything else, but he could feel Hakyeon tense up, before slowly releasing the tension in his limbs and curling back into Hongbin. His hands wrapped around Hongbin’s arms, and rested his head against his chest.

            They stayed like that for a while, Hongbin’s legs were protesting being stuck in the same place, but he didn’t move anywhere, just pressing his face into Hakyeon’s neck. He could still feel Hakyeon inhale sharply occasionally, and feel his fingers close just a little bit tighter, but would quickly relax. Eventually Hakyeon unfolded himself, and released his hold on Hongbin. He sat there for a while, not saying anything before standing and pulling at Hongbin to follow him, which he did. Hakyeon pulled him out, back into the hall, and into the main room, where Taekwoon was waiting with tea on the stove and a plate of little donuts sitting on the table, and Hakyeon wrapped his arms around Hongbin again, leaning up and putting his head on Hongbin’s shoulder.

            “Thanks, Binnie.”

heyyy everyone

i took a lot of liberty with hakyeon in this one- it's an interesting take on his character that i like, but you don't have to like it at all

i'm describing panic/anxiety from my experience, so it might be different from what anyone else pictures

umm

BUT yeah this is maybe just a completely separate thing that you don't have to link to hakyeon in the main story, if you want to keep to a specific character style, it's not wrong, everything i write you guys can take however you want

i might give details about it later, in another story, but for right now this was what came out

yes!! that is it

thanks for reading and commenting!

~Win