Sanghyuk was just a kid, really. Even by vampire standards, he was only about 40 years old, so the other vampires in the area didn’t really view him as anything more than a child. Some of them were reaching their 800s, some even older, so old no one knows anymore. Time ceased to be a thing after you’ve been around for hundreds of years, Sanghyuk supposed. For him though, it still felt like it was moving.

            Memories didn’t feel so much like memories anymore, but more like dreams, which was silly since he didn’t need to sleep. But he wasn’t that old.

            He “came about” 42 years ago, which is a dumb way to say it, he really just died, but everyone else called it that so he went along with it. Sanghyuk was 19 years old when he was thoroughly pronounced dead in front of his family and closest friends. His older sister had probably cried the most, he remembered hearing her from inside the coffin he was supposed to be buried in. He hadn’t though, making his escape that night while they were preparing for the actual burial the next day. He watched the ceremony though, it was beautiful, lots of flowers and elaborate decorations. Definitely something his parents would set up. Everyone was wearing the boring standard black, except for his sister who had a white dress on. His parents obviously didn’t like it, but it’s not like they could just tell her in front of everyone to change, not at a funeral.

            White was one of Sanghyuk’s favorite colors, anyways, and he was glad that someone had bothered to remember. His family wasn’t mean to him, not at all, but they definitely treated him as younger and less mature as his sister. She was close to him though, and they often spent nights outside of their small house, sitting on the roof looking at the stars. She knew all about the stars, and would talk about the different constellations and types. Sanghyuk didn’t understand most of what she was talking about, nor was he particularly interested in the stars, but it was good to see her happy and talkative, instead of the stiff personality she carried around their parents. She always stood up as straight as a board, but on that day he remembered seeing her slouch.

            His best friends had been there, standing in a row towards the back. They looked awkward in the suits they were wearing, and if he had been there, Sanghyuk would’ve laughed at them, but instead he just had to smile to himself behind the statue he was hiding by. It wouldn’t go over well if any of the attendees saw him.

            His hair had started out as a brownish color, but after he died it went to black, which he supposed was fine, it fit the glowing yellow eyes anyways. They were probably the most disconcerting thing that had changed, he didn’t really care much about the paler skin or the hair, but looking into the mirror and seeing your irises neon yellow surrounded with a ring of black was a little weird at first. Later on, he died his hair purple just because he wanted to, and because he was sick of looking tired and dark all the time.

            The funeral went on, and as soon as they started throwing the flowers on top of the coffin, he turned and left. Luckily it was cloudy outside, so he didn’t have to worry as much about hurting his skin. He still didn’t know how everything worked, with the skin thing. He wondered if it was like fairytales, with wooden stakes and garlic and turning into stone with the sun, but he would figure it out as he went along, he guessed. Everyone in his town knew that vampires existed, but none of them wanted to see their children or their friend turn into one, so Sanghyuk decided that he should leave.

            It wasn’t too bad, being on his own, just wandering around the countryside, occasionally having to avoid running into a werewolf or two, sometimes there were ice creatures that he had to skirt around. He could probably have fought them off, he knew that he was a lot stronger than he had been when he was alive, but he didn’t really want to fight anyways. He figured out what it felt like to be thirsty, and it took a lot of pain and desperation to finally get him to find the nearest settlement. Sanghyuk didn’t really want to kill anyone either, but at the state he was in he wasn’t too focused on keeping his morals intact. He singled out a farmer working in a field nearby, and he could still feel the way the man shook as Sanghyuk had sunk his teeth into his neck.

            He felt better physically after that, but his mind caught up with him, and he left with a sick feeling settling in his chest.

            He’d just have to get used to it, though.

            Sanghyuk was never messy, he hated that, and never took pleasure playing with anything he was about to kill. He had heard of vampires who only attacked animals, but he tried and it made him feel awful, so he gave up on that. About 30 years of that passed, and he was hunting- he hated calling it that, referring to the humans as prey that he was just out to get- and he found a girl who looked to be about his age, and as he was about to run out and get her, she turned his direction, and looked at him with wide eyes. He should have fled, should have left, but he just stood there, lowering his gaze.

            “Are you a vampire?” Her voice was soft, and she didn’t sound very scared, so Sanghyuk looked back up at her. She had gotten a lot closer while he wasn’t looking, and he had to take a few steps back. He was trying to figure out how to say no, but he was terrible at lying and she had already seen his eyes so he figured it was no use.

            “Uh, yeah, sorry. I mean, I’ll just, go, I guess.” He wasn’t sure what the protocol was for when a human discovered you, but he was pretty sure he shouldn’t stay where he was. He felt a hand touch his arm though.

            “Why are you leaving? You’re hungry, right? Is that what you call it?”

            He swallowed, trying to ignore how close she was and how good she smelled.

            “It’s no big deal, I can leave, go somewhere else,” was what stumbled out of his mouth, and he cursed at himself. Why was he still just hanging around? He should have been gone a while ago, when she first looked over at him. She smiled at him though, and he wanted to tell her to go away, that she should leave, it’s not like hanging out around a vampire was safe or anything, especially not around one who hadn’t eaten in weeks and was desperately trying not to assault her where she stood, hand still on his arm.

            “Do you have to kill people?”

            He wanted to scream at her, to tell her to get far away.

            “Usually, so you should probably go away-“

            “No, but do you have to kill them when you, you know, feed, or whatever it is?”

            Sanghyuk had thought about that, if it was really necessary to kill someone every time he needed blood, but it was hard to stop once you’d started. She took another step towards him, and he had to lean away, struggling to breathe through his mouth instead of inhaling through his nose.

            “I don’t know, I’ve never tried not to, but you should get going, really-“

            She interrupted him again.

            “There aren’t a lot of people around here, and there aren’t any more groups of people between here and Talgi, so if you need to, I can help you.”

            His eyes widened, and he just looked at her for a while.

            “You know that I could very well kill you, right?”

            She blinked back at him.

            “Yeah, but I don’t think you will.” Sanghyuk battled with himself, because on one hand, he was really hungry and since there was at least a week’s distance to Talgi, he wasn’t sure if he could make it that far without having to do something more desperate, do vampires die of starvation? He wasn’t sure. And on the other hand, he didn’t have much control over himself yet and he didn’t think he could hold himself back. He needed to make up his mind though, and fast.

            He didn’t know how to respond, so instead he just straightened up and then moved closer to her, lowering his head into the crook of her neck, hovering, still full of indecision.

            “Go on, it’s okay.” She lifted her hand and put it on the back of his head. With the contact he shifted forward, and bit down on the space where her neck sloped down into her shoulder, feeling her tense up as his fangs pierced the skin.

            A thousand thoughts were swirling through Sanghyuk’s head, and everything felt like it had stopped moving. Why was this girl letting him do this, who was she, and why was she out all the way over here alone? How was he supposed to know when he was done, and what was he supposed to do when he finished?

            As soon as he tasted the first drop of blood though, everything cleared out, and he didn’t think of anything else.

            It wasn’t until he felt her sag beneath him that he realized he was supposed to stop, and he had to force himself to yank his head back, immediately pulling back and catching her with his other arm, and then he was pretty sure that if his heart was still beating it would have stopped right then and there, and he felt disgusted. Not because of her, but because when he looked at her Sanghyuk could tell right away that her eyes had faded and he couldn’t sense her heart beating from where he was standing anymore. He felt disgusted with himself. He set her body down on the ground, and tried to keep himself from vomiting.

            It wasn’t until he could see the edges of the sky lightening that he could finally convince himself to move, taking faltering steps back and away, until he turned and ran, running until he couldn’t focus on anything else, ducking to avoid tree branches and rocks. He was pretty sure vampires weren’t supposed to trip, but he definitely did, and he sat where he had landed for hours, safe under the dark canopy of the tree he was under. It wasn’t until he could see the edges of the sky darkening that he realized he was crying, and he pulled himself up again and kept going. 

            He got lost, and lost track of time, and ended up in what he was pretty sure was part of Talgi, but the mist was rolling through all the streets and there was no one out in the wet cold that had settled in. He finally slowed to a stop, dropping down onto a doorstep, letting his head fall into his hands, curling himself in half, and finally everything hit him at once, and Sanghyuk started crying again.

            “What’re you doing here? It’s cold outside.”

            He heard a voice from above him, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. The voice had a hand that started tugging on his arm.

            “Come on, get up, you’re all wet.”

            When he looked up, he was staring at a dark haired elf who was smiling down at him.

            “Let’s get you warm and dry, yeah?”

this was absolutely definitely longer than i thought it would be whoops i started writing and i couldnt stop oh well

i'd been planning on this one all day, but then i got online and found the recording of his song Memory and then i was like well here we go

(its a really good song and i've had it on repeat the whole time i've been writing)

i decided that i definitely wanted sanghyuk to have a sad backstory

i could probably write an entire fic just about sanghyuk but i'll leave that on the back burner for now

but yep here is his story

there are probably a lot of unanswered questions but w/e

also i am still up for requests if you have any!

if you have any questions about any of the details in the story, like a character's intentions, or anything, feel free to comment and i will try to explain to you as best as i can what i was going for

thanks for reading, commenting and subscribing!

~Win