That Thing Called LOVE

Those giggles and laughter coming from her room just makes her smile a little. She knows he's doing his best to keep their daughter happy and she's glad that he wanted to be there for her even though he lives far away from them. She's in the living room, with the tv on but the volume barely gets to the 3rd bar. She wanted to hear his voice, story-telling Lea and the cute giggles from her because it makes her smile even more. She's sitting on the couch with a cup of hot green tea on the coffee table and a good story book on her lap. 

She'd been thinking for the whole day after what he'd told her. She do missed playing violin, Soojung, Jongin and even her mother was quite disappointed with her decision. Even Jinri herself didn't know what makes her stop. She's still trying her best to get back into that position and start playing once again. 

She thought maybe, just maybe because of Lea that she'd stopped. Being pregnant and taking care of a little kid was quite hard and she wouldn't want to leave her alone for so long because she kept going outstation and leave the girl behind and she hates it. She thought of spending her time more with the little ones since then. 

Because there was a time her mother told Jinri that Lea kept asking where's her mother and that really broke her heart. 

And since then she decided to go for a hiatus but it took so long for her to come back once again and she wasn't sure herself when would that be. Lea is still growing and still in need of the love from her parents and now since Taemin constantly coming here to give the love that she needs from a father somehow makes Jinri's life a lot more easier. 

Being a single parent is not easy but she'd done it 

Their voice slowly going slower and slower and then she heard his hushed, probably he's trying to get her to sleep though it is still quite early. But Lea was so tired because of her ballet dance and the amount of time she'd spent with him today. He did bring her out to the park which really makes her feel anxious, worried and loads more because of him being a prince and going out with an 'unknown' little girl could come out in a news. 

But he tried his best to disguise himself. 

She didn't got up to peek on them, she find it too cosy to snuggle under her blanket with her favourite book on her lap and the muted tv in front of her. It's still raining but it slowed down a little bit and the time is now 10 past 6 in the evening. The sun's setting soon but since it's still raining outside, it is quite dark and grey and cold even.

She wouldn't want to cook for tonight so she thought of having takeaways for dinner. Some part of her was hoping to have him here for tonight but some of her was being so ego and wouldn't want him to stay tonight for dinner. She's confused, she's lost. she couldn't make up her mind.

and most importantly, she's still lost and confused about her relationship with him now. 

Are they just a friend and he's just a father to Lea. She couldn't find the answer herself and was being super selfish for not wanting to ask him. First, she's scared. second, she knows that everything won't be the same and it'll be hard for them even though they wanted to fix things again. Jinri heave out a sigh as she runs her fingers through her ginger hair. 

It's quater past 8 and Lea is still sleeping and she found herself on the sofa with blanket covered her body because of the cold weather outside. She quickly got up to see Lea in her bedroom but instead of seeing her alone on the bed, Taemin was there next to her sleeping with his arm wrapped around the little ones. Jinri felt her heart racing, it's beautiful for her to see something like this after the thought of not being able to see such things ever in her life after the split. 

She don't want to wake them up because they look tired and in need of more sleep, so she left but leaving the door open before she runs down to call for chinese takeaways. She's still thinking of going to her mother's house tomorrow after Lea's dance class but nothing has confirmed yet since she got loads of things to do. 

She walked up the stairs and sat on the sofa, blinking her eyes as she stared blankly at the muted tv in front of her after ordering some food for dinner. She's tired of lying to herself, she's tired of trying to make herself look like she's fine in front of him because she's not. She missed him, she misses his touch, his kisses and his warmth. She wants him back , she don't want to lie to herself anymore.

She needs him so much that it hurts

It hurts because she knows that she can't have him like before, it won't be the same.

Jinri heave out a sigh and her palms covered her face as she tried not to cry. Her door bell rings making her stood up on her feet and rushed downstairs, knowing that it's the takeaway food. She pulled the door open and greeted the deliver man politely with a soft smile on her face before she paid the bill and take the food up with her. It's getting late and she hates having h