JR’s POV

“Is that… him?” Ren’s voice trailed off as he stared up at Baekho onstage with eyes full of admiration. “Is that… really him?” He sounded in deep disbelief as he beheld the real-life image of the one person he truly idolized in this world, however, only I knew the truth. A wave of sadness had washed over me while watching another man walk down the runway and take credit for my work. But that’s what we had arranged, wasn’t it? Baekho was to represent the face of House of Kim because I surely couldn’t. The entire fashion world had been begging me for years to step forward. Finally I was giving them what they wanted, even though it wasn’t real. I didn’t fit the image as a designer. These uncomfortable clothes that Dambi had managed to squeeze me into… although nice, it wasn’t me. The point of clothes was to make people happy. These clothes didn’t make me happy. It made me feel the opposite. It made me feel like I was losing myself even more. I had come to the conclusion long ago that I would never be able to live up to people’s expectations of me and I didn’t even want to try. The last time I tried was several years ago and that ended horribly and scarred me for life. It also scared me from ever attempting it again. I didn’t want to be a celebrity, but it also killed me a little on the inside to see someone else take on my name and my company when it was my own hard work that had gotten me this far…

“Do you want to know the truth?” I asked him. Ren slowly turned around and faced me with intrigued eyes. I forced myself to continue to spread the lie. “It’s him.” I quietly replied. Ren stared at me with wide eyes.

“Really?” He asked. I slowly nodded. This was eating me up inside. Baekho was almost too easily able to stand on that stage and feed people the news that they wanted to hear: he was ‘Mr. Kim.’ It wasn’t that he was bad at it. No. Baekho was incredibly convincing. He had really done his studying and skillfully answered all of the questions that the reporters threw at him with ease. The media really did seem to believe that he was… well, me.

“…Yes. I’ve interviewed with him before behind closed doors. It’s him.”

“But why do you sound so upset suddenly?” Ren asked as he slightly tilted his head to the side. I stared at him with wide eyes as he had seemed to catch me in my own mellow thoughts. I quickly forced a smile across my lips and shook my head to convince him otherwise.

“It’s nothing. Do you want to get out of here now? I promised you a meal, didn’t I?” I said, hoping to change the subject through the only way I knew was fail-proof: through Ren’s stomach. It was no secret by now that Ren was an eating machine and often thought more with his stomach than he did with his own head. As predicted, Ren’s eyes lit up at the mention of food. He was about to say something to me when he suddenly paused, a distressed, panicked look spread across his face. I gave him a strange look. “What’s wrong?”

“He’s leaving!” Ren exclaimed as he placed both hands on the sides of his face. He began to jump up and down. For a second I almost thought he had to use the restroom. I stared at him, not understanding his strange behavior.

“I don’t get it.” I replied. A surprised expression suddenly appeared over his face.

“Should we follow him?” He perhaps asked the craziest question I had ever heard in my life.

“Huh???” I didn’t know how else to respond. He wanted to follow him? Why? Ren pouted cutely, giving me puppy-dog eyes.

“I just want to talk to him.” Ren replied nonchalantly as if following another person secretly against their knowing or will was actually normal.

“Ren… I understand that your biggest dream is to meet House of Kim’s Mr. Kim, but this is a bit… much. That’s called stalking. It can land you in jail…” I warned, trying to scare him out of whatever crazy thoughts were running through his mind right now. Ren stared at me for a brief moment in silence before suddenly turning his back to me and taking off running in the opposite direction through the crowd of people. I paused in shock. Did he really just leave me to go after Baekho? I had to stop to think. From here Baekho would be headed home… The last thing I needed was for Ren to follow Baekho home and spy on him from outside. What if Baekho were to make a mistake about his identity and let it slip while being secretly watched by Ren? I didn’t need or want a scandal like this to spread about my company. In a panic, I reached down for my phone and quickly sent Baekho a text not to go home. Instead I told him to stay in a hotel for tonight. As I was putting my phone away I was suddenly grabbed by my shoulders from behind and wildly shaken back and forth like a rag doll.

“Don’t tell me I just saw Ren running outside of this building still dressed in my suit!” Jason shrieked from behind me. I stumbled forward and managed to pry myself out from his grip. I turned around to face him.

“He’ll probably be right back…” I replied, unsure. This was probably just me being hopeful even though I knew that Ren really wouldn’t be back. Jason stared at me with crazy eyes.

“WHERE DID HE RUN OFF TO?!”

“He’s…” My voice uncomfortably trailed off. Jason continued to stare at me with wide, impatient eyes.

“Spit it out!!!”

“…Following Baekho…” I timidly replied and watched as Jason turned several pale shades of white. He looked like he was seconds away from fainting.

“That’s one of my top 3 suits that just ran out the door!” He exclaimed, grabbing both sides of his face in horror. “Even worse! It’s on Ren!”

“Jason-”

“Bless his soul; he’s graceful on the runway but a complete klutz and train wreck off of it! He’s going to destroy my suit! JR, you need to help me get it back!” He claimed, surprising me. I stared at him in shock, pointing my index finger towards myself.

“M-Me?”

“You’re the only one closest to him! Go! You’re wasting time! He’s probably left by now!” Jason grabbed me by my shoulders again and spun me around, forcing me forwards and towards the exit. I nervously glanced back at him over my shoulder.

“H-How exactly am I supposed to get it back?!”

“I don’t care if you have to rip it off his body- no, I take that back. Don’t you dare rip it! Take care of it! Cherish it as if it were one of your own! Just get it back! I’m begging you, please, JR! Ren is an accident waiting to happen and you know it. Please, save my suit!” Jason pleaded in my ear before giving me one final shove out of the exit of the building. I now found myself standing outside on the side of the street. I noticed a crowd of reporters standing around Baekho’s car. I happened to spot Ren jumping up and down trying to get a better look over all of the tall cameras. As I started making my way over towards him he suddenly tore out from the crowd and ran towards the sidewalk, waving his arms around like a lunatic.

“TAXI!” Ren practically screamed, managing to flag one down. He pulled open the car door and climbed inside. “Follow that car!” He ordered as he kept his gaze forward and reached back for the door handle to pull it shut. I quickly moved through the crowd and caught the door at the last possible second, stopping him from shutting it. Ren quickly glanced over his shoulder and gave me a surprised look as if he hadn’t been expecting to see me there. Well, I had to admit, I didn’t expect for me to be here either. We locked eyes for a few seconds before I hesitantly climbed inside, sitting beside him. Ren gave me a stunned look. “JR… are you sure?” He asked. I slowly nodded.

“I’m going with you.” I replied, determined not to let him go alone. If there was one thing Jason was right about, it was the fact that Ren always seemed to find himself in unpredictable, crazy situations. Something was bound to happen to him. Not to mention there was the matter of Jason’s suit, which unfortunately wasn’t Ren-proof. Ren smiled at me as if he were happy to have me accompany him. He then crazily turned back to the driver, hitting the back of his seat repeatedly and in a rush.

“GO!” Ren exclaimed. The wheels of the taxi screeched as the driver hit the gas pedal and sped off down the street in pursuit of Baekho’s car. While we chased after him I found myself hoping that he had read my text about checking into the hotel instead of going home. The discreet car chase lasted several minutes until Baekho had led us deeper downtown into Gangnam, where to my relief he pulled out in front of an upscale, five-star hotel. He stepped out of the car and carelessly tossed the keys to the valet waiting in front of the doors. The man rushed to catch the keys and Baekho walked past him without even so much as acknowledging him, disappearing into the lobby of the hotel. Ren suddenly shrieked beside me, hitting the back of the driver’s seat. “Stop! Here is good enough!” He instructed as we neared the front of the hotel. He paid the driver then climbed out, not even waiting to receive his change. I hesitantly took Ren’s change and thanked the driver before climbing out and chasing after him.

“Ren!” I called out after him. Ren sneakily ran up to the side of the front door and peered inside. I finally caught up to him and stopped by his side, taking his hand and forcing his change into his palm. Ren thanked me and carelessly stuffed the change into the jacket pocket. I blankly stared down at this action. Had he forgotten that he was still in Jason’s suit? No, surely he wasn’t that dense… was he? No… he was still in stage makeup… clearly he wouldn’t just forget…

Ren suddenly turned to me. “Let’s go inside.”

“Wait!” I exclaimed, reaching my arm out in front of him to prevent him from going any further. Ren glanced down at me, waiting for me to explain. “Do you really think this is a good idea?” I asked. Ren smirked.

“Of course not! But let’s do it anyways.”

“Ren…” I pleaded. Ren gave me an irritated sigh.

“Look, we’re just going into the lobby, ok? I’m not gonna do anything crazy past there. I promise.” He replied. I nervously stared at him before hesitantly nodding, pulling my arm away. Ren’s face lit up and he smiled as he strolled past me and through the front door and into the lobby. I trailed close behind him, following him as he started walking up to the check-in counter. Wait a minute… why was he going this way? I watched as he suddenly started talking to the concierge behind the counter. My eyes widened in shock as I overheard Ren making plans to check into a room for the night.

“Ren!” I protested. Ren hesitantly glanced back at me.

“It’s just a room, ok? It’s not like I’m going to do anything crazy past there, ok? Promise.” He replied. I had already heard that story before. I knew better than to believe him, but there was still the issue of the suit… I had to follow him and get it back safely to Jason. I sighed in defeat and nodded, agreeing to stay with him. The concierge gave Ren the room key and from there we approached the elevators. Ren began to walk slower when he realized that Baekho was standing there, also waiting for a lift to his floor. As we got closer Ren suddenly shoved me in front of him and nervously stood behind me, staring down at his feet to avoid making eye contact with Baekho. I took this moment to pull my phone out and send another text to Baekho, telling him to pretend not to recognize me as his boss but as the interviewer ‘JR.’ I sent the text which Baekho received seconds later. As I put my phone away, Baekho waited a few seconds more before pulling his own cellphone out and checking my text. He glanced down at the screen from behind his black sunglasses, read it, and then held his phone up to his ear, pretending to have received a call.

“Ah, yes, it’s me. I have further business in Gangnam tonight. I’ll be returning tomorrow. Continue to make sure things run smoothly in my absence. Hanging up.” He quickly replied then pretended to hang up and put his phone away inside of his blazer pocket. An empty elevator arrived in front of us. Baekho immediately entered and stood inside while both Ren and I stood awkwardly outside. I really wasn’t sure of what to do next. I wasn’t the one following Baekho around, Ren was. But right now Ren was as frozen as a statue. Baekho suddenly lowered the rim of his sunglasses and glanced over at us. “Are you not going up?” He asked. I averted my gaze and nodded, grabbing Ren by his wrist and dragging him onto the elevator with me. Ren stood off into the corner of the lift while I stood beside Baekho. The doors slowly closed. A few more seconds were spent in silence before Baekho glanced over at me again, this time with an annoyed expression on his face despite the fact that he was smiling. “Floor number?”

“Sorry.” I murmured then glanced at Ren who snapped out of his trance and moved like a stiff robot to push our floor number. Once he pressed it he retreated back into his corner of safety, keeping his gaze down on the floor. Baekho dryly laughed, folding his arms across his chest as he glanced down at me again.

“Are you following me?” He directly asked me. I noticed Ren grow stiff behind me. I nervously stared up at Baekho.

“U-um, w-what?” Although I wasn’t even the one following him I started to panic. And this was with me even knowing that Baekho was acting right now. It’s just that Baekho was twice as big as me in stature and height. He was extremely intimidating, portraying the exact image I thought Mr. Kim should be. I just hadn’t expected for him to do such a good job at it. Baekho removed his sunglasses with his right hand and leaned closer to me.

“You pressed the same floor level as mine.” Baekho replied. I carefully glanced back at Ren. How had he known what floor level Baekho was staying on? Had he perhaps heard Baekho discussing with the concierge what floor he was on? No, we were standing too far from the counter. Then… perhaps he read their lips? Chills ran down my spine. I was beginning to realize to what extent of crazy Ren really was.

“It’s… coincidence.” I tried covering up for my friend’s error.

“If you want another interview, you need to set it up with my publicist, not me.” He coldly replied, doing as I had asked and pretending to recognize me as the writer of a fashion blog.

“I-I’m sorry, but we’re not here for you. We h-happen to be staying here too.” I said, trying to keep my cool even though I was extremely embarrassed about this entire situation. If Jason hadn’t of asked me to help return the suit, I probably wouldn’t have followed Ren all the way out here. This by far was the craziest thing I had ever done. Something like following around celebrities was definitely out of my comfort zone…

A small amused smirk spread across Baekho’s lips. “Is that so, then?” He replied then placed his sunglasses back on the bridge of his nose as the elevator came to a stop on our floor level. The doors spread open and I stepped to the side, allowing him to exit first. He left the elevator without any expression and stepped out into the hallway, walking off without us. Once Ren and I had exited the elevator I turned to him.

“…What’s the room number?” I asked, already humiliated as it was.

“304.” Ren whispered back to me as he kept his eyes glued to Baekho who had finally come to a stop in front of a door. The two of us slowly traveled down the hall, passing each room number one by one until we found ourselves coming within close proximity to Baekho once again. When we finally came across room 304 I stopped when I realized that it was directly next door to Baekho’s, which happened to be room 302. As we stopped in front of our door Baekho paused and glanced over at us and dryly laughed again in disbelief before he wordlessly unlocked his door and stepped inside, shutting the door closed behind him. I immediately crouched down to the floor while grabbing both sides of my head. I was so embarrassed… Ren sheepishly unlocked the door and held it open for me. I glanced up at him in disbelief before standing back up and stepping into the room with him. I sat down on the bed once inside and curled up into a ball. Ren approached my side. “It’s not that bad…”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this…”

“Oh, come on. It could be worse…” Ren awkwardly replied.

“He knows me, Ren. Now he’s going to think of me as a crazy person… Our site will never get to interview with him again…” I lied. Ren held his head down low.

“I’m sorry. I just… got carried away. I really wanted to meet my hero… I didn’t realize how crazy this really was until I found myself standing in the same elevator as him… I’m sorry for putting you through this.”

I paused, suddenly feeling guilty for having him apologize towards me. I shook my head and sighed, sitting back up. I smiled at him. “Just… think of it as another one of our crazy adventures you’ve managed to take me on.”

“You’re not… mad at me?” Ren cautiously asked. I shook my head again.

“No.”

“You have every right to be upset with me right now, so why aren’t you?” He asked, not understanding why I refused to be angry at him.

“Because I’ve experienced more life in the short amount of time I’ve known you than I have in the last several years… How… how can I be mad at you for that?” I shyly replied, feeling awkward for finally admitting something that was true. Ren smiled at me.

“Let me buy you a drink.” He insisted. I gave him a surprised look.

“Drink? Oh, no-”

“It’s the least I can do after dragging you all the way here. Come on, there’s a bar downstairs. And besides, you still owe me a meal.” He reminded me, bringing a smile to my lips.

“…Of course you wouldn’t forget if food is involved, would you?” I asked. Ren laughed.

“Of course not!” He replied, placing his hands on his hips. “Come on, you buy the food, I’ll buy the drinks. It’ll be fun.”

“Are you sure you want to go? I thought you wanted to stay close to Mr. Kim…” My voice trailed off. Ren nodded.

“Yeah, let’s go. Besides, he’ll be here all night anyways. The most we’ll be gone is a couple of hours. Come on.” Ren continued to insist, reaching down for my wrists and pulling me up off of the bed, dragging me out of the room with him and back to the elevator. We rode all the way to the bottom level where the bar was located and sat at the counter where we placed an order. As we waited, Ren turned to me. “I’m glad that I’ve been able to help you, JR. There’s more to life than that apartment of yours, you know?”

I nervously nodded. “I’m beginning to see that…” As I said this the bartender placed a couple of drinks in front of us. Ren took one and took a deep sip and sighed loudly, smiling after the alcohol reached his taste buds.

“As long as you do! That’s the important part! I mean, it’s not like stalking famous people counts as a necessary life experience, it’s just…”

“Just what?” I curiously asked.

“Following Mr. Kim like this and not even having the courage to say anything to him… I’m not crazy, ok? I just have a lot of love to give.” Ren insisted, taking another sip. I left my glass untouched and gave him a surprised look.

“…Is that what you call it?”

Ren smirked. “Laugh all you want, but I’m serious. I didn’t realize this until the Apink concert, but when I find something I really like and am passionate about, my love seems to overflow inside of me and it spills, making me seem like I’m crazy. I love Apink’s music. I love House of Kim. I’ll travel any distance or take any measure to show my support for the things or people I love. Even if it sounds crazy to people on the outside, it doesn’t really to me. To me it all make sense because that’s all I can see: what I love. I don’t really care what others think about my unconventional methods or personality because they’re not what makes me happy. House of Kim… is more than just a name-brand fashion line to me. It’s an inspiration. People and events come and go in life, but House of Kim has always been a thing that’s been there for me. Even when he went on hiatus for a while, I knew it wasn’t forever. I knew Mr. Kim would be back.”

I stared at him. “How could you know something like that?”

“It’s so obvious! Because Mr. Kim loves what he does, and it shows in all of his work. There’s nothing that can keep that man from what he loves the most.” Ren replied. It seemed like the effect of the alcohol was reaching him much faster on his empty stomach. Regardless, I was still stunned by his words. Back when I had gone on hiatus, it was a much needed break for me from the fashion industry. During that time I had been conflicted about continuing designing. I was having yet another identity crisis. I wasn’t sure if what I was doing was the right thing in life.

“… I hear that Mr. Kim was planning on quitting the fashion world during his hiatus…” I said as I leaned my left arm against the counter surface. Ren suddenly laughed at me.

“Where would you hear such a stupid thing like that?” He asked. I paused.

“There are many sources… It’s not impossible for someone like Mr. Kim to have demons as well… You know, I’m just assuming.”

“Well of course he has demons! Everyone has demons, duh. But Mr. Kim isn’t stupid; designing and making clothes is something he loves. Why would he quit something he enjoys doing?” Ren bluntly asked, his words slowly starting to slur. I glanced down.

“I hear… male designers in the fashion industry receive a lot of criticism.”

“So what? People talk. There’s no escaping the power of gossip. People can be mean and try to tear you down, but in the end they’re really the ones who are pathetic. At least Mr. Kim tried and made a name for himself, despite hiding his face for so many years… The fact that he’s finally shown his face to the public is proof enough that if he was plagued by haters, he’s finally over it. And I admire him even more for that. It’s not easy being yourself anymore in this world.” Ren replied.

I kept my gaze fixated on my lap as I listened to Ren talk. I felt like a child being scolded. Mr. Kim- the real Mr. Kim wasn’t over it. I did have my demons, that much was true. There was an incident that happened several years ago even before I became famous that scarred me for life. It was something that I had to escape from thinking about daily, the heavy reason why I relied so much on my headphones. It was because of this incident that I chose to never reveal my face, but with so much pressure to step forward after returning from my hiatus and not being ready, I had no choice but to use Baekho in my place. I had to admit though… it was kind of depressing to hear Ren talk about admiring the fake Mr. Kim. I finally glanced up at him after being intrigued by his last comment. “Do you really think so?”

Ren nodded. “Finding yourself is hard enough, but then choosing to be yourself is even harder when society is so ready to judge you. I was lucky to have so many people accept and be supportive of me for my homouality, but I realize that’s not always the case for everyone else. It’s harder for some over others. But as long as you feel you’re doing what’s best for you, screw what other people think. I wouldn’t have been able to walk on that runway earlier today if I had listened to all of those previous judges or even the people that mocked me for wanting to be a model. Clothes make me happy. Why should I change because someone else is uncomfortable with me?”

I smiled back at him after feeling somewhat touched and encouraged by his words. “Maybe you’re right.” I said as a tray of fruits were delivered to the counter in front of us. Ren immediately spun around in his stool to face them. Not a second was spared before he started to drunkenly devour them. I shook my head and laughed. It was funny how quickly Ren could change personalities. He was serious one moment, able to deliver such a powerful message (while drunk, at that) and then the next he was happily munching away on fruit, swinging his dangling legs hanging off of the bar stool in front of him. He began to hum a melody as he ate. I continued to smile and watch over him until our drinks and food were gone. I hadn’t even touched my own drink and somewhere in the midst of eating Ren had taken mine and finished it for me. Of course I didn’t really have a problem with it; it wasn’t like I was a drinker anyways. And I remembered the last time I drank so much I ended up putting a hole in Ren’s apartment wall. I leaned over and placed my hands on Ren’s shoulders and lightly shook them as he rested his arms and face on the cold counter surface. “Let’s get you back to the room.”

Ren wobbly sat up and spread both arms out in front of him. “Carry me!” He exclaimed. I gave him a bewildered look.

“Ren, I can’t carry you-”

“Are you calling me fat?!?!”

My eyes grew wide. “What? No, I-”

“I dieted so much for today… Why do they make food if it’s so evil?” Ren started to dramatically whine. “I want to eat all of the food in the world!” He drunkenly stated, still holding his arms out to me. I rose to my feet and wrapped my arms around his torso, pulling him into me and lifting him onto his feet. As Ren stood he fell forward and into me, resting his chin on my shoulder. With much effort and struggle, I managed to spin him around and wrap his left arm over my right shoulder and around my neck. I helped him walk towards the elevators and pressed the button, waiting for one to arrive. After a couple of minutes a lift finally arrived and we climbed inside and rode to our floor and I dragged him back inside of the hotel room. When we entered I threw his heavy body down on the bed and then sat in the chair across the room, heavily panting and heaving for air. Ren suddenly rolled off the side of the bed and crashed to the floor with a loud THUD. He seemed unaffected as he wobbly rose back up to his feet and walked over to the wall, placing his ear against it. I furrowed my brows and strangely stared at him.

“Um… Ren? What are you do-”

“SHHH!!! I can’t hear Mr. Kim if you’re talking.” Ren drunkenly whispered to me. I tilted my head to the side. Suddenly it hit me what he was doing.

“This… is definitely illegal…”

“SHHH!!!” Ren scolded me again, this time pressing his entire body against the wall and lifting his left leg up.

“…I don’t think you can get any closer to the wall than you are now…” My voice trailed off. “What are you possibly hoping to hear?”

“You don’t think Mr. Kim’s meeting someone here, do you?” Ren suddenly asked. I gave him a stunned look. Meeting someone? I-I-I’d never meet someone at a hotel! Just the idea of it made me turn red from embarrassment. But then I realized that he was referring to Kim Baekho, the ‘false’ Mr. Kim, not me. But Baekho was a representative image of me and I had made it clear to him in his contract that he was not allowed to do sketchy things like hooking up in hotel rooms or anything that could possibly shatter the image of Mr. Kim. By signing his name, he agreed to it.

“O-Of course not. You didn’t see him go in with anyone, did you?”

Ren pouted. “That doesn’t mean that they weren’t already waiting for him inside…”

“I’m sure Mr. Kim doesn’t have time for things like that.” I tried to reassure him, talking from previous experience. Ren finally pulled away from the wall and flopped down on his back on the bed. He loudly sighed.

“Just because he’s busy doesn’t mean he’s not a man.” He replied. I began to feel uncomfortable discussing Baekho’s possible -life. I wasn’t even comfortable thinking about my own, or rather, my non-existent one.

“Can we… not talk about this?” I pleaded.

“Do you think he’s straight?” Ren asked, completely disregarding my request. “I mean, I don’t want to assume that he’s not just because he’s a fashion designer…”

“Ren-”

“But those broad shoulders of his and that build!”

“Ren!” I exclaimed, turning a deeper shade of red. I didn’t want to hear anymore. Ren went quiet for a moment before finally sighing and speaking back up.

“I hope he’s not…” He replied, making me pause. I stared over at him, wondering what was going through that complicated mind of his again.

“What… what makes you say that?” I curiously asked.

“He’s so handsome… Ah, who am I kidding? Me with someone like Mr. Kim? I’d be lucky enough to even get the chance to properly meet him, let alone model for him… Ah, maybe it’s better off him being straight. I can’t break the rule.”

I furrowed my brows. “The rule?”

“Never sleep with the designer.” Ren replied.

“That’s not exactly a written rule rather than an ethical one…” I replied. Ren rolled over onto his stomach and buried his face into the bed spread.

“I’m drunk… again.” He randomly replied, somehow managing to change the subject which I didn’t mind so much. Was this on purpose though? I found it highly unbelievable that there was a topic that Ren wasn’t comfortable talking about. Just based off of our time spent together, somehow the subject of toys, homouality, and now the fake Mr. Kim’s orientation had been brought up. I didn’t really want to know what else Ren could possibly bring up that would make me highly uncomfortable.

“It was your idea.” I protested. The room grew silent. About a minute had passed before I got worried and glanced back over at him. Ren had fallen asleep with his face buried into the bed. At that moment my phone started to vibrate in my pocket. I removed it and glanced across the screen. It was several texts from Jason asking about the suit situation. I pursed my lips together as I glanced back over at the unconscious blonde lying face forward in the bed. He was still wearing Jason’s suit. Luckily no harm had come to it yet, but it was still too early to tell. I dug my phone back into my pocket without having responded and cautiously stood up and walked to the side of the bed. I wondered if I could possibly retrieve the suit with Ren being in the current state he was in. It could go one of two ways: one, he would let me, or two, everything could go horribly wrong and he could wake up and witness me undressing him. It was already awkward enough to have to do this to him, but for him to catch me in the act? I’d die of mortification. I leaned over the side of the bed and slowly lifted Ren’s left arm, carefully sliding the jacket sleeve down inch by inch as to not wake him. This took several minutes until the left arm of the jacket was finally freed. As I placed Ren’s arm back down onto the bed, he moaned in his sleep and rolled onto his left side. I froze in panic and remained still until I was certain he was dead asleep. I then went to work on removing the right sleeve, which thanks to his new position made it easier than the first. When the jacket finally slipped off I stepped back and sighed heavily in relief before placing it down on a chair and returning back to Ren’s side. I glanced down at his sleeping form. What was next? The pants.

I pursed my lips together and placed both hands over my eyes. My heart was beating fast. Why did I have to do this? Why did I have to undress another man? It wasn’t necessarily the fact that it was another man- I would have been extremely uncomfortable doing this with anyone. How did Jason expect me to do something as crazy as this? I slowly lowered my hands and peered over the tips of my fingers back at Ren who had now rolled over onto his back. I stared down at his waist where he had his white dress shirt tucked underneath the suit pant waistband. I hesitantly climbed over the foot of the bed and hovered on top of Ren’s lower body, my hands slowly traveling to the button on his fly. As they grew nearer, they began to tremble. I nervously kept glancing up to check if he was still sleeping. I shakily ed his fly. As I grabbed a hold of the zipper I felt Ren start to move from underneath me. My eyes grew wide in shock when he suddenly reached down and drunkenly wrapped both arms around me, pulling me into him. I fell on top of him and glanced up at him with panicked eyes as my heart pounded quickly inside of my chest. I turned several shades of red. He was still asleep. Ren rolled over onto his left side, pulling me with him as he snugly squeezed me. I turned with him, unable to escape his strong hold on me. For a couple of minutes I laid on my side on the bed, my face buried into his stomach. I had to take a moment to recollect myself and gather my courage again before inching my hands back down to his zipper. I winced my eyes shut in embarrassment as I slowly and cautiously slid the zipper down. Once it was successfully undone, I began to squirm in his arms, trying to wedge myself out of his hold. As soon as Ren felt me start to move, he tightened his grip on me and pulled me in closer. By now my face was burning hot in shame and embarrassment.

“…Don’t go…” Ren managed to murmur, his eyes still shut. I froze in a panic and glanced up at him. Had he been awake this whole time? My heart started racing as I began to think of a thousand possible excuses I could give him for this situation. “…Stay by my side for as long as possible…” He murmured again, shocking me.

“R-R-Ren-” I stuttered.

“…You can at least do that in my dreams, can’t you?” He continued, squeezing me tighter. I paused. Dreams? Did Ren think he was dreaming? So he hadn’t been fully awake after all… But… what did he mean by his last message?

“Ren-”

“I thought I was over you… During the time we were apart while I was preparing for the fashion show, not once were you in my thoughts… But then you show up like that- all dressed up like some sort of celebrity and you shake my heart again, confusing me…” Ren’s voice trailed off before he paused. Silence filled the room for a couple of minutes. My heart began to beat faster as his words reached my ears. I stared up at his somewhat unconscious form, my face completely red. What did he mean by that? Shaking his mind? Confusing him? Ren suddenly started up again. “You came into my life when I was at my loneliest… You must had known that, huh? All of the crazy things I did and continue to put you through, and yet you still remain by my side… Am I really the crazy one? I must be… because I don’t want to lose sight of you… Even in a dream, you’re still far away. You’re unreachable… Even still, as long as I’m asleep, don’t leave my dreams. Don’t leave me alone… I don’t want to return to that time from before… I’m sure… no, I’m almost certain you must feel the same way, don’t you? So at least always stay my friend, if you can even do that…”

“Ren…” I whispered, stunned by his words. What did he mean by ‘unreachable’ and ‘far away’? Did he think that I was going somewhere? I never once mentioned that I didn’t want to be his friend. His fears were unfounded. I shifted my gaze away from him as I awkwardly pursed my lips together. Although I wasn’t sure what he was exactly trying to tell me, he was right about one thing. I didn’t want to think of the time before Ren had somewhat forced himself into my life. Before then, I was all alone. I had Dambi, but I wasn’t as close to her as I was now that she was friends with the both of us. Each day was spent locked up in my apartment, busying myself through my work so that I wouldn’t notice how miserable I really was. At least now I found myself actually looking forward to the next day and what it would bring. Through Ren, I was able to move forward instead of living in the past. I was healing from my old scars. I didn’t want to be alone either. I slowly glanced back up at his closed eyes and softly smiled at him. “I’m not… going anywhere.”

 

 

Ren’s POV

The next morning I awoke with a raging headache that split from ear to ear. I sat up in bed with my eyes still shut, grabbing both sides of my forehead. Why did this hurt so much…? Oh, that’s right. I drank last night… Dammit, I kept telling myself that each time would be the last time and yet I never learned. I sighed heavily. Maybe I really was an alcoholic. Probably. Okay, obviously I had issues. I winced as I slowly opened my eyes. Light brighter than a thousand suns seemed to poured in from the window. I groaned and turned my head away from it. As I turned, I happened to catch a glimpse of my bare legs and paused, furrowing my brows. Um… I was certain I fell asleep with pants on… It was then I noticed I was sitting in nothing but a pair of boxers and a white dress shirt. What the… In a frantic, I began to messily pat my hands against my body just to make sure I wasn’t imagining things. No, I wasn’t crazy this time. I scanned the entire bed and climbed to my feet, searching around the entire room for them. My clothes were gone. My heart started racing. Oh my god, what happened last night?

I ran my hands through my blonde bangs and pulled them backwards, revealing my forehead as I exhaled loudly. I tried to recall the events of yesterday. After the fashion show I had followed Mr. Kim to this hotel… but I wasn’t alone. JR had come with me. I glanced around the room, even so much as checking the bathroom for his presence. He was gone as well. What the… Was this just a coincidence that JR happened to be gone along with the missing clothes? Surely… JR wouldn’t rob me, would he? This had to be some sort of misunderstanding. I had fallen asleep with my clothes on. There was no possible way for him to have gotten them off without something have happening- I froze in horror… Had something happened? I shrieked and slapped both sides of my face. No, no, no! There was no way… Suddenly a flashback of seeing JR on top of me flashed through my mind. My eyes grew wide and my jaw dropped. WE HAD… no, no, NO! It had just been a dream. That wasn’t real… was it? No, JR was far too nervous and shy to take control like that- agh, stop imagining these things, Ren!

I turned around and grabbed my phone from the bed. There was only one way to find out what happened last night. I called JR. The phone rang several times with no such luck. My heart began to race in a panic. Why wasn’t he picking up? Was it possible that he was avoiding me? It seemed like something he would do after having a one-night stand. If he even had those, that is. Oh god, I didn’t know what to believe anymore… Just then I felt my phone ring and vibrate in my hand. I hurriedly glanced down at the name across the screen, hoping that it was JR returning my call only to be deeply disappointed seeing that it was Jason. Not having a choice but to answer my boss’s call, I held the phone back up to my ear.

“Did you have a fun time last night?” Jason’s voice poured out from the speaker. I blinked, not understanding what he could possibly be referring to.

“Um…”

“My, you must have. After all, not everyone can afford the luxury of a one of a kind JA Style suit… You must have gone places last night. I can’t imagine any place that would turn you away while wearing one of my masterpieces.” Jason replied with venom in his voice. I froze in horror. Suddenly what he was saying all made sense. I had run out of the fashion show still wearing Jason’s suit, hadn’t I? I slapped my left hand across my forehead. How could I have done something so stupid?

“Jason, I’m so, so sorry! I didn’t realize-”

“No you sure didn’t realize. Whatever, that’s not important. Where is it?” He demanded. My heart sunk down to my toes.

“I…” My voice trailed off. I was too terrified to tell him the truth about what had really happened. “I have it. It’s safe. Don’t worry.” I lied, trying to reassure him that everything was fine and normal. There was a pause on the other end of the line.

“…Is that so?” Jason asked, sounding as if he didn’t quite believe me.

“Yes.”

Jason scoffed. “Then have it here at the studio before closing time if you’re so sure.” He replied, still sounding skeptical.

“I will.” I promised before Jason hung up on me. I shrieked then tried calling JR’s number again only to be left hanging again. My heart started racing. What was I supposed to do now? JR had to have been the one to have taken the suit and he wasn’t answering his phone. I had to get that suit that I didn’t have back to Jason before the end of the day and literally having nothing to wear, I couldn’t exactly step out like this in just my boxers… This was humiliating. I didn’t know who to call in a situation like this. There was no way I would call my older brother. I could hear him scolding and judging me for all of my failures in life because apparently he was so much better than me since he was a professor. Tcht. Calling my parents was definitely out of the question. The only other friends I had was JR and Dambi-noona. I paused. I could call her… but that would be so embarrassing… Did I really have the option of having pride at a moment like this though? And besides, maybe she could reach JR for me about getting back the suit. I called her number. She picked up rather quickly.

“Ren, it’s the middle of the afternoon. Shouldn’t you be at work?” Her concerned voice poured out from the speaker.

“Noona, I need your help.”

“Help? With what?” She curiously asked.

“I need clothes.” I quickly replied. There was a brief pause of silence before she lightly laughed.

“Clothes? Why? Did something happen?” She asked. Another wave of embarrassment washed over me.

“It’s a long story… but…”

“…Did JR by chance take your clothes?” She surprisingly asked, taking me by shock. I stared down at the floor with wide eyes.

“What?! How-”

“He said you might call.” Dambi chuckled. “He’s busy at work right now. He told me to tell you that he brought them back to Jason’s studio for you. Also, I’m standing outside of your room door right now, so open up.” As soon as she said this, there was a knock at the door. I blankly stared over at it. What the hell was going on? I grabbed the sheet from the bed and wrapped it around my waist before walking over towards the door and opening it. As I pulled it open, it revealed Dambi standing in the hallway holding a shopping bag dangling from her right elbow. She smiled and waved at me before inviting herself in. As she stepped inside she pushed the bag into my chest.

“Noona… you’re-”

“Here to save the day? I get that quite often. I’m no super-hero, but if that’s what you want to call me…” She teased as I stared down at the bag. I hesitantly pulled it open to reveal several nice clothes that looked awfully familiar… I took out the pair of pants and read the label and practically fainted when I read the name of the brand printed. Dambi laughed at my reaction.

“They’re… House of Kim… Noona, you didn’t have to-”

“They’re not from me.” She replied. I gave her a wide eyed stare as she shrugged. “He felt bad about leaving you here like this.”

“JR?” I asked. She nodded. “But how…”

Dambi laughed again. “Don’t let that appearance of his fool you. JR has quite a bit of money stashed away. Apparently you can make a pretty penny from writing for fashion editorials. Anyways, due to the nature of his job, he often acquires samples like these from the designers himself.”

“JR received these from Mr. Kim himself? But… Mr. Kim was so cold to him last night…”

Dambi gave me a confused look. “Was he? Hmm… well, I wouldn’t react so kindly either if I was being stalked.” She smirked.

“Thank you, noona. I’ll wear these clothes well.” I replied, feeling guilty for having dragged JR into following Mr. Kim with me and putting him in such an awkward situation. Not to mention there was still the situation with Jason. He had caught me in my lie. Dambi noticed the uncomfortable look on my face.

“Is something wrong?” She asked. I shifted my gaze down to the floor.

“Nothing… I just… I need to go apologize to someone.”

“Jason?” She lifted a brow in annoyance before folding her arms across her chest. “Well, don’t be too nice to him. It’ll just be wasted on a man like him.” She replied, sounding bitter. I recalled the story that Minhyun and Aron had told me about Dambi’s past with Jason. Either Dambi had been framed or she really had stolen one of Jason’s outfits. I felt incapable of making an accurate assumption about either one of them. I naturally felt drawn to Dambi’s side because she was my friend, but I could be wrong. There were times where yes, Jason seemed a bit strange, but there were also times where he was kind and helpful, therefore making it difficult to pin the blame on either of them. I thanked Dambi again then showed her out of the room before entering the bathroom to shower and change into the clothes that she had brought me in JR’s stead. After washing, I stepped into the designer underwear and dressed from head to toe in casual wear from the most recent previous line of House of Kim’s clothes. I wore a pair of black pants with a black button up shirt. After I finished dressing, I stepped into my shoes, grabbed my phone and headed down to the lobby. When I approached the check-out counter to pay, to my surprise I had found out that JR had paid both the bar tab and the room cost. Needless to say I was startled and a bit uncomfortable. Why had he taken it upon himself to pay for my costs? My heart started to race as the possibility that we might have slept together crossed my mind again. Oh god… I needed to get to the bottom of this soon.

I rode a taxi all the way down to JA Style studio. When I arrived, Jason was on the first floor working in the shop and attending to a client. I waited for almost an hour sitting in the back of the shop, waiting for him to wrap up. When the client finally left, Jason coldly turned his back to me and went to straightening up the several clothes racks that they had shuffled through. I rose to my feet and approached him. Jason paused as he noticed my presence now beside him and glanced up at me from his clothes. He gave me intimidating look as if waiting for me to begin. I apologetically bowed before him, hanging my head down low.

“I’m sorry.”

Jason scoffed. “Is that right?” He asked, folding his arms across his chest. “Tell me; what are you so sorry about?”

“About taking your suit out of the building last night and… lying to you about having it. I’m sorry. It was irresponsible of me and you have every right to be mad at me.” I continued to apologize. Jason stared at me, the intimidating look on his face lessening by the second. He arrogantly turned his head away from me.

“Well, at least you acknowledge it.” He replied before glancing back at me through the corners of his eyes. “You know, I gave you two chances to come clean to me on the phone. And you still lied to me.”

“I know. I’m sorry…”

“Look, Ren. I don’t have this kind of time to be playing games with my models. I’m a very busy man. You must know by now that I favor you highly. Why else would I have let you get away with as much as you have? If Minhyun or Aron were to leave the fashion show still wearing my designs, they would have been fired in a heartbeat.”

I stared at Jason in shock. “Would you have really?” I asked in disbelief. Minhyun was his top model… and Aron was next in line to receiving that title. Jason nodded.

“You, my dear, are special to me. You have ‘it.’ You have the look. But not just the look- you have the touch. You have the ability to go far and I believe that through you, my clothes will finally be more appreciated than what they are. That’s why I have no choice but to forgive you and look past your mistakes. But make sure that something like this doesn’t happen again. I won’t be so kind in the future.” He replied. I deeply bowed before him again.

“Thank you, Jason. And once again, I’m sorry. I’ll continue to work hard for you in the future.” I replied, standing back up. A small smirk appeared in the corner of Jason’s lips.

“If you can do even better than what you did last night on that runway, then I’ll be satisfied. I’ve been receiving calls all morning about outfits that you wore with Minhyun and Aron last night. Normally I receive quite a bit of calls the morning after, but the phone has been ringing off the hook this particular morning. I believe it strongly has something to do with your performance.”

I couldn’t believe it as Jason informed me of all of the calls he had been receiving. It almost felt too good to be true. All of that… was because of me? My modeling was causing his clothing line to be more successful than it already was? Although he had called me ‘special,’ I didn’t feel that way. How could someone like me- dorky and accident prone Ren, be so successful on just my first walk? Did I really have this ‘look’ and ‘touch’ that Jason said the industry was craving right now? Maybe… But I was going to be humble about it. I bowed in front of Jason again and thanked him. “I’m sure it wasn’t just my doing alone, but thank you for saying that.”

Jason glanced down at the clothes I was wearing and gave me a surprised look. “Something I actually approve of for once. Which designer?” He suddenly asked. I paused.

“Ah, uh… House of Kim.” I nervously replied. Jason gave me a strange look and furrowed his brows in confusion.

“You… are able to afford House of Kim? I pay you handsomely, but I don’t pay you enough to be able to afford House of Kim. At least not yet, anyways.”

I awkwardly turned away from him and scratched the back of my neck. “You see, there’s a funny story about that-”

“Where was it that you said you went last night?” He cautiously asked, changing the subject. I nervously glanced at him. For some reason I felt like I was still in trouble with him.

“Me?” I asked. Jason nodded. I sheepishly glanced off to the side. “Well… I got carried away…”

“That’s nothing new. What did you end up getting carried away with this time?” Jason asked as if this type of behavior was expected from me. Was I really that predictable? How embarrassing.

“I followed Mr. Kim back to his hotel…” My voice sheepishly trailed off. Jason stared at me with shocked wide eyes.

“You… followed Mr. Kim?” He asked before pausing for a brief moment, his gaze shifting to the floor as a dark look washed across his face. He quickly glanced back up at me, giving me a questioning look. “Did you speak with him?” He asked. I immediately shook my head in response.

“No, I didn’t.”

Jason raised an intrigued brow. “Is that so? Why ever not? Your role model was right there in front of you.”

“Because I was too afraid to say anything to him.” I replied. Jason stared at me, waiting for me to continue my explanation. “Finally seeing him for the first time… it felt so surreal. Almost like he wasn’t really there, like it was a dream or something. He was fierce. He was intimidating. And I felt so small in comparison to him, like I didn’t even have the credentials to even breathe the same air as him. How could I talk to him?”

An amused smirk spread across Jason’s lips. “That’s because you don’t have the credentials. At least not yet. If you want to be able to speak to Mr. Kim and earn his respect, it’s going to be through hard work and effort on the runway, not by stalking him. Understand? Only then will you be considered an equal.”

I nodded. “I understand. Like I said, I just got so carried away… I didn’t want him to leave…”

Jason laughed. “It’s not like you won’t be seeing him again. I promised a formal introduction to him for signing with my company, did you forget about that? In due time, a meeting will be arranged. But like I said, you need to work hard for me first. And by the way, you never fully explained how you managed to acquire those clothes. It’s evident you didn’t get them from the man himself, so where did you? What’s this supposed ‘funny’ story?”

I hesitantly paused. “These clothes… they were a gift from JR.” I replied. Jason froze momentarily before awkwardly nodding and smiling.

“From JR, I see. Yes, I suppose he does have unworn, nice clothes stashed away somewhere. He can definitely afford it. But why give them to you?”

“That’s… the funny part. In order to get the suit that I was wearing last night back to you, he…” My voice uncomfortably trailed off. “Well, he took them from me while I was sleeping, I think.” I replied. The look on Jason’s face was priceless. He suddenly burst out into a mad fit of laughter.

“Pffft! Ahaha, you mean he really did it?!” Jason exclaimed. I gave him a strange look.

“Really did… what?” I asked, confused.

“I told him to get back the suit at any costs, even if it meant ripping it from your body… ahaha! Oh my god, is this even real?” Jason continued to laugh, meanwhile I stared at him frozen in shock. Was that the reason why JR had done what he did? Because Jason had told him to? Last night was still a complete blur. I wasn’t sure of what exactly had gone on between us, if anything even did. Had we slept together or not? But… JR didn’t strike me as the type of person to try to take advantage of others. He wouldn’t purposely sleep with me with the intention of stealing my clothes… would he? Maybe that was the reason why he had gifted me clothes from my favorite fashion line, House of Kim, and maybe that’s why he paid my bar tab and room costs. A feeling of dread washed over me. There had to be some other explanation. JR wasn’t that type of guy. I tried to think of all of the possibilities that could have happened last night that didn’t involve us sleeping together. Although the idea of JR simply removing my clothes while I was asleep seemed insane, it definitely seemed more plausible. There was only one way to find out, and that was from JR himself. With him not answering my calls, it made this situation even more frustrating. Not to mention I was hurt. Did JR really even want to go with me when he climbed inside of the taxi yesterday?

“I suddenly remembered I have something to do. I’ll see you tomorrow, Jason.” I excused myself. Jason nodded then turned his back to me as I took off running out of his studio. I started making my way to JR’s apartment on foot, knowing that it wasn’t too far from here. The entire walk was spent with my thoughts heavily clouded. I really didn’t know what to think of this situation. I almost felt betrayed by JR, the last person on earth I would have ever thought to think would do something like this. Several minutes later I found myself standing in front of JR’s apartment complex. I started climbing the stairs and stopped in front of his unit, finding myself staring at his front door. I noticed through the small window on the door that the lights were on inside of his apartment, meaning that he was more than likely home. I pulled my phone out and tried calling him again. No response. My bottom lip trembled as I shakily rose my right fist and started knocking. I waited several minutes and once again no response. This was ridiculous. I knew he was home! I started pounding on the door again. “JR! Stop avoiding me!”

There was silence on the other side of the door. Growing frustrated, I pounded my fist against the door again.

“JR! Open up! We need to talk!”

Silence.

“Is this how you’re going to leave things between us?!” I screamed into the door. “You can’t say I didn’t try. You’ve been avoiding all of my calls, but yet you take Dambi-noona and Jason’s calls? If you don’t open this door, consider you and I no longer friends!” I threatened and waited for a brief moment before I noticed the door suddenly pull backwards. I didn’t even wait for JR to fully open it before stepping inside. JR timidly took several steps back, shrinking into his shoulders as he purposely averted his gaze down to the floor to avoid making eye contact with me. He no longer wore the suit from the other day or his hair brushed back. He was back to his jeans, a long-sleeved black and white striped shirt and messy blonde hair. I stepped directly in front of him, grabbing both of his shoulders and forcing him to look at me. “Why?” I angrily asked. JR fearfully looked up at me.

“…W-why what?” He almost inaudibly replied.

“Do you really have to ask?” I said in disbelief. JR shamefully glanced back down.

“I’m sorry…” His voice trailed off. I continued staring at him.

“Sorry for what? Tell me what you did to me while I was unconscious!” I exclaimed only to receive a shocked look from JR.

“I didn’t do anything to you!” He immediately protested. “I would never!” He replied with tears in his eyes, making me pause. Suddenly a wave of guilt washed over me as I felt like a terrible person for almost making him cry. I guiltily removed my hands from his shoulders and took a step away from him, glancing off to the side. JR hung his head down low. “I know… what it looks like… but I promise you that I didn’t do anything…”

“Then help me understand what happened…” My voice trailed off as I awkwardly glanced back at him. “Did something happen?”

JR stared at me with wide eyes. “You mean you don’t remember?” He asked. I shook my head. JR gave me an apologetic look. “You passed out right after we got back to the room. You see, before we had come to the hotel, Jason had asked me a favor-”

“To get back the suit?” I asked. JR paused then timidly nodded.

“Yes… to get back the suit… So while you were sleeping, I… I removed it. Shortly after I left the hotel to return it back to Jason. I felt horrible about leaving you stranded like that so I asked Dambi to come over and pick up some clothes to deliver to you in the morning. That’s all that happened, I promise…”

“And the bar tab and room expenses? Why did you pay those?”

“I felt guilty…”

“Why did you avoid my calls?”

“I was afraid…” JR replied, turning his back to me and grabbing his arms. I paused.

“What were you afraid of?”

“I knew you would be mad at me… I don’t… I don’t do well with people upset with me. My first reflex is run away and hide whenever things become uncomfortable for me. I know it was the wrong thing to do, but I panicked. I’m sorry.”

“You scared me too, you know that? I wasn’t sure what happened. I thought I had done something to scare you away again… I’m glad that wasn’t the case.” I replied, finally feeling relieved. JR glanced over his shoulder and back at me. I smiled at him. “Next time don’t be so afraid, ok? So many misunderstandings have occurred between us simply because we don’t talk about it.”

JR slowly turned around and nodded. “Okay.”

“But… can I ask you one more thing?” I asked. JR gave me a surprised look, waiting for me to continue. “When you followed me when I went after Mr. Kim, did you really even want to go with me, or was it all because Jason had asked you to?”

“I wanted to go.” JR quickly admitted.

“Really?” I asked, surprised. I found myself starting to feel strange and flustered again. JR nodded.

“I know the trouble you’re capable of getting into when we’re together… I didn’t want to imagine the trouble you would get into when you’re alone.” JR replied, making me laugh.

“You were worried for me?”

“Yes…”

“I don’t know whether to feel touched or insulted.” I joked. JR’s eyes grew wide and he immediately bowed in front of me, apologizing yet again.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to-”

I laughed. “It’s cool. Everything’s fine. I’m not even mad anymore. How can I? I got free House of Kim clothes out of it. If I only knew this would happen, I’d let you take my clothes off all of the time!” I again. JR immediately turned red and turned away from me again, covering his face with his hands.

“I just… had them lying around. That’s all. Besides, it’s not like I would ever wear them myself…” JR nervously replied behind his hands. I sat down on the couch and glanced up at him.

“Why not? I think you would look good in them.” I honestly replied, recalling how handsome just a normal suit had made him look. If he wore House of Kim… just thinking about the image of him in my favorite fashion line made me flustered and made my heart start to race. When I realized this I paused. I really did still like him, didn’t I? But it was depressing to think about. I knew there was no way JR could feel the same way, that’s why I thought the idea of something happening between us last night was ridiculous. Even still though… I found myself somewhat hoping for that odd chance that he might. It had been so long since I last liked someone. It wasn’t just physical attraction either. There was something about JR’s innocent personality. He was pure hearted, something which was almost nonexistent these days and extremely rare to find. Knowing this, I almost didn’t want to let him go, whether as a crush or a friend.

JR awkwardly laughed. “It’s not really my style.”

“Hmm, too bad. You’d look really cool in Mr. Kim’s clothes.” I insisted. JR gave me an awkward look before smiling and shaking his head.

“No, they look better on you.” He seemed to absentmindedly reply. I was surprised. This was probably the first time I felt that he was being effortlessly honest with me. The fact that it seemed to just slip from his tongue so easily meant that he really did think so. I nervously laughed.

“Ah, don’t flatter me. It’ll only put ideas in my head about modeling for him.”

“You don’t have much experience though. He probably wouldn’t take you.” JR replied in his professional tone of voice again, the same one I remembered from yesterday when he was complimenting me after I had just walked the runway.

“I know that. I meant after…” I awkwardly replied. “I mean… do you think it might be possible?” I asked. JR blankly stared at me for several seconds in silence, making me feel uncomfortable. Finally he spoke up.

“I wouldn’t say it’s impossible. But Mr. Kim only takes seasoned, experienced models… from what I hear, I mean. You should focus on doing you best through Jason and see where you’re at after your contract expires. If you’ve garnered enough attention by then, it might be possible.”

I smiled. “I don’t know why, but I feel relieved listening to you talk about the fashion industry. Probably because you’ve been in it longer than me. You know all of the famous designers and you know what they look for in models. I’ll just have to take your advice then!” I cheerfully replied. JR awkwardly nodded.

“There’s nowhere to move except forward… right?”

I nodded back to him. “Right!”

 

 

Baekho’s POV

As the lights started to flash back on inside of the building and the finale music started pouring from the speakers, I took a deep breath and linked arms with the headlining model and walked with the first and second leads down the runway. As I walked, I felt everyone’s eyes on me. I could feel them silently questioning and judging me, wondering who I could possibly be. Of course I could hear several voices from off of the stage all asking the same question: is that Mr. Kim? As far as they were to know, anyways. I had spent the past two weeks aggressively preparing for this debuting moment, practicing all of the traits that Mr. Kim was supposed to have. He was supposed to be a sort of perfect ‘bad boy’ type of designer, one who was finally emerging from the shadows for the first time to reveal his mysterious identity to the public. Although I was slightly nervous, I didn’t let it show. When I neared the end of the runway with the other models, I slowly removed my pair of black sunglasses and revealed my face to the world. I could hear an almost deafening silence in the air as everyone waited for me to speak. A stage crew member reached up to me from offstage, handing me a microphone.

“Hello, everyone. Thank you all for watching. It is my greatest desire that you enjoyed what you saw. That being said, allow me to finally introduce myself to the world.” I said as I glimpsed down into the audience. As I looked down, I just so happened to lock eyes with the blonde second lead model from Jason’s show. I had remembered watching him grace the runway, managing to completely captivate me simply by the way he walked. Each time he came out rocking a different outfit, making it look as if the clothes had purposely been made for him. I remembered thinking how confident and sassy he seemed. It was surprising to hear from several of the reporters around me while I was observing from the audience that this was a new model and that it was his first time walking the runway. The blonde’s eyes grew large in shock as he spotted me looking at him. I quickly tore my gaze from him and turned it back to a random face in the audience. “My name is… Kim Baekho; designer and CEO of power-fashion-house House of Kim… Any questions?”

I darkly smirked as a sea of camera flashes suddenly went off at the same time inside of the room. Hordes of reporters rose to their feet and rushed to all sides of the stage. I lost sight of the blonde from earlier as several microphones were forced near my face. Several questions were thrown at me. I agreed to take only ten of them before heading out of there. They were the typical ‘why here, why now’ questions. I answered all of them to the best of my ability. Luckily they were about the material that JR had covered in his guide, which I spent many sleepless nights memorizing. After the tenth question I silently dismissed myself. As I exited the building the sea of reporters followed me outside to my car, somewhat surprising me. Something like this had never happened to Kang Baekho before so it was a bit uncomfortable to be around, but I figured this would be Kim Baekho’s life from now on. Being followed by cameras and microphones, having little to no privacy… I didn’t like it. But I didn’t have to like it. I had given up my old life for this newer, supposedly better one. For as long as I was ‘Mr. Kim,’ the cameras would continue to follow me wherever I went. After I climbed inside my car, I sat for a couple of minutes. Luckily the windows were tinted so nobody could glimpse inside. I threw my head back on the headrest and sighed, rubbing my temples. God. This was only my first appearance as Mr. Kim and already it was hectic. I wondered… would I ever get any better at handling it? Or would I have to be uncomfortable the rest of my life?

I leaned forward and shifted the gears into drive after turning the engine on. Right as I was about to release my foot from the brake pedal, I felt my phone vibrate. Thinking that it could be either Jason or JR trying to contact me, I pulled it out and glanced at the screen. I was right. JR had sent me a message about not going straight home and to instead head to a hotel. I thought it was strange, but I didn’t question it and put my phone away before driving off into downtown Gangnam. When I finally came across a hotel, I pulled up in front. The moment I stepped out of the car, I was once again the cold, mysterious Mr. Kim. I tossed my keys to the valet waiting in front of the doors who struggled to catch them. Without a word I walked past him and into the lobby where I checked in. Shortly after receiving my room key I waited in the elevator hallway where I stood for several minutes for a lift to arrive. While waiting I was lost in my own thoughts about today’s events. I wondered if I had done Mr. Kim any justice. Well, neither JR nor Jason had said anything about my performance today, so I took it as- I suddenly paused when I noticed something rather… odd. Through the corners of my eyes I could have sworn I had just seen my boss just now… I glanced through my sunglasses to see JR standing with the blonde model from Jason’s company behind him. I suddenly felt so confused. Why-

I watched as the blonde model behind him nervously lowered his head to avoid making eye contact with me. It was at that moment JR pulled out his phone and very quickly typed something before putting it away. I didn’t have much time to think about who he was contacting before my phone vibrated in my own pocket. So it was me after all. I decided to wait a few seconds before casually pulling my own phone out. I took a brief glimpse at the screen which read something about me pretending not to recognize JR as my boss but as someone I’ve supposedly interviewed with dozens of times. I internally sighed. What craziness was JR up to now? As if having me parade around as Mr. Kim wasn’t crazy enough… I had no choice but to do as he asked. As to not arise any suspicion from the people around us, I held my phone up to my ear and pretended to answer a phone call.

“Ah, yes, it’s me. I have further business in Gangnam tonight. I’ll be returning tomorrow. Continue to make sure things run smoothly in my absence. Hanging up.” I said to my imaginary secretary then pretended to hang up. I put my phone away inside of my pocket just briefly before an empty elevator arrived in front of us. I wasted no time in entering, meanwhile both JR and the model stood outside like a couple of frozen statues in a museum. Still in ‘Mr. Kim mode,’ I feigned annoyance and lowered the rim of my sunglasses, staring out to them. “Are you not going up?” I finally asked. JR jumped and averted his gaze and nodded, grabbing the blonde by his wrist and dragging him onto the elevator. The blonde model immediately hid in the back corner of the lift while JR stood beside me. The doors slowly closed. There was an awkward silence in the air that lasted for several seconds until I glanced over at JR again with a pretend, annoyed smile on my lips. “Floor number?”

“Sorry.” JR murmured as he glanced back at the blonde behind him who seemed to be stuck in a daze. The blonde rigidly snapped out of his trance and leaned forward to push their floor number before retreating back into the corner again, the entire time averting his gaze from me. As I glimpsed back at the floor level buttons to push mine, I paused when I realized that my floor level was already lit up. The blonde had selected the same level as the one I was headed to. It suddenly hit me. Had these two purposely been following me? What reason would JR have for doing something like this when he could see me whenever he wanted to? No, maybe it wasn’t about him. Maybe it was the model that had been following me… Either way, I wasn’t wrong about being stalked be either of them. I folded my arms across my chest and dryly laughed.

“Are you following me?” I directly asked my boss, who seemed terrified about the whole ordeal. I had to suppress the urge not to smile. This whole situation was ridiculous, but this was how I was told to handle it as Mr. Kim. Mr. Kim was supposed to be fearful and intimidating to all. The reporter ‘JR’ wasn’t to be excluded from that equation. JR nervously stared up at me.

“U-um, w-what?” He was panicking. The look on his face said all. I removed my sunglasses and leaned closer to him.

“You pressed the same floor level as mine.” I replied, even knowing that it wasn’t him who had pushed the floor button. He was so scared though that he didn’t seem to remember if it was him or not who had.

“It’s… coincidence.”

“If you want another interview, you need to set it up with my publicist, not me.” I coldly replied. I glanced back over at the blonde who was still hiding in his corner. I was hoping that he would finally glance up and look at me so that I could get a better look at his face. He had deeply impressed me on stage earlier that I wanted to get a closer look at his unique features that seemed to shine on the runway. Granted, I honestly didn’t know a thing about the people that worked or walked the runway, having been a previous underwear photoshoot model, nor did I know what it really took to be there, but this person cowering before me had managed to catch my eye. As Kang Baekho, I was curious about him. But as Kim Baekho, there could be no curiosity, only annoyance for anyone that dared to speak or approach me without an appointment.

“I-I’m sorry, but we’re not here for you. We h-happen to be staying here too.” JR’s voice seemed to shake. I smirked.

 “Is that so, then?” I raised my sunglasses back up over my eyes as the elevator finally came to a stop on our floor level. As the doors spread open, JR stepped to the side, letting me exit first. I huffed then left the elevator first, walking down the hall to find my room number. I hadn’t bothered to check back on them, however, I realized I probably should have sooner. By the time I reached my door, I noticed that the two of them had stopped in front of the room next to mine. I glanced over at them and dryly laughed. I couldn’t believe it. They really were following me. JR, I think you owe me an explanation for tonight. Without saying anything more I unlocked the door and stepped inside, immediately closing it behind me. Once I was inside the safety of my room I pulled my phone out and began typing a text to JR.

‘Mind explaining what all of that was about?’ I sent to JR and waited for what seemed like forever for a response from him. While waiting I boredly laid down on the bed and flipped on the TV. I really had no idea what I was supposed to be doing here. All JR had told me was to avoid going home and to check into a hotel. With him banning SNS for me, there was literally nothing to do on the internet anyways. Not that I had anyone to talk to online. I had zero friends and no immediate living relatives. There were always strangers to talk to on Twitter, but that was the exact kind of thing the contract was trying to prevent me from doing. I sighed. Well, it’s not like much had changed in my life since becoming Mr. Kim. There was still the same level of loneliness, only now I had nicer things, money, and reporters following my every step. Sometime in between waiting for a response from JR, I drifted off to sleep. I was awoken when I finally heard and felt my phone vibrate. I tiredly glanced down at the screen. It was already past midnight. What the hell…?

‘I’m outside your door. Let me in.’ His text read. I furrowed my brows in confusion and sat up in the bed before rising to my feet and opening the door to reveal JR standing in the hallway carrying a suit in his arms. I paused for a moment. Where had I last seen that suit? As I thought this, JR quickly stepped inside. I closed the door and turned to him, noticing his skin was a flushed red color.

“I don’t even know how to begin to ask what’s going on.” I said and watched as JR placed the suit down on my bed, neatly folding it. I tiredly pointed at it. “And whose suit is that?” I asked. Clearly it wasn’t his; he was still wearing the same suit from earlier at the fashion show.

“Jason’s.”

“But Jason isn’t here-” I stopped when I suddenly realized where I had last seen that particular suit. That blonde model who had accompanied him here had been wearing it, hadn’t he? I furrowed my brows even deeper and gave JR a strange look, trying to figure him out. “Tell me you didn’t lure him here under false pretenses just to steal his suit.”

JR’s eyes grew wide. “No! Of course not! Nothing happened!”

I chuckled. “Hey, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. You’re an adult capable of making those kind of decisions… I’m just hoping you didn’t. That would be even lower than asking me to pretend to be Mr. Kim.”

“I didn’t, ok?” He claimed, turning red.

“So then what’s going on…?”

“Jason asked me to get back the suit… But Ren was already on his way here to follow you-”

“Ren?” I curiously asked. So that’s what his name was… “He was following me?”

“It’s… a long story. Ren does these crazy things without thinking sometimes…” JR’s voice uncomfortably trailed off.

“Why was he following me?” I asked, wanting to know. Had he been curious about me as well? No… He was curious about the mysterious Mr. Kim who had finally revealed himself to the public, not me. Of course he would naturally follow Mr. Kim to learn more about him. Who wouldn’t? It was a bit disappointing to realize this though. This ‘Ren’ person had definitely caught my interest and had been in my thoughts all day. I had actually wanted to say something to him earlier when we were in the elevator together, however I knew my contract forbade it. If I had been allowed to say something, I would have commented on his performance earlier. It was a typical, normal response from a nobody like Kang Baekho, but it was considered a weighted comment from Kim Baekho, a professional and fashion empire mogul. I had to keep my mouth shut.

“Mr. Kim… is his role model. He… loves my work.” JR seemed to admit all too sadly. I blinked.

“Then doesn’t that make it more the reason to tell him who you really are than to carry on with this charade?” I asked. JR shifted his gaze down to the ground.

“No. I can’t be Mr. Kim. Especially now… so, end of story.” He replied.

“Is there anything going on between you two?” I asked, only to receive a wide eyed strange look from JR in response. “I ask this because if there wasn’t, you wouldn’t care so much about disappointing him by being the real Mr. Kim. Not to mention you managed to get his clothes off-” I began to . JR shrieked.

“We’re friends!” He embarrassingly exclaimed. So they were friends, were they…? JR nervously waved his hands around in the air. “And nothing happened! He was drunk-”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Taking advantage of a drunk person, JR. For shame.” I teased again.

“NO!!!” JR practically screamed. “I-I-I didn’t! I b-b-barely touched him!” He stammered as I burst out into a mad fit of laughter. I grabbed onto my sides and gasped for breath.

“I’m kidding. So what do you want me to do from here on out?” I asked, waiting for my next instruction on how to be the infamous Mr. Kim. JR calmed himself after having his little panic attack and finally glanced back up at me.

“Continue to be mysterious. Mr. Kim will only be making a few appearances throughout the year.” JR replied. I gave him a startled look.

“Go back into hiding already?” I asked, somewhat disappointed. I had hoped that there would be more appearances after having gone through all that trouble of memorizing this whole man’s life. Not to mention the more events I attended, the more I might possibly come into contact with this ‘Ren’ person that was as mysterious to me as I was to him. I wanted those rare chances that we could possibly chat, even if it was a simple ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye.’ But I knew that as Mr. Kim, this was impossible. That was the depressing part. JR nodded.

“Yes. When morning breaks, you can go back home. From then on you can wait for either my call or Jason’s to come out.”

“But that’s…” My voice trailed off as I thought twice about protesting. JR curiously glanced at me. Although what he was asking me to do was cruel, I was smart enough to see that being cruel wasn’t a part of his intentions. He was just too innocent, too naïve to understand the weight of his request.

“That’s what?”

I forced a smile on my lips and shook my head. “Never mind.” I replied, trying my best to hide my disappointment. JR paused briefly for a moment before nodding.

“I’m going to get going now. We’ll keep in contact.” JR replied before slightly bowing to me and grabbing the folded up suit. He quickly and quietly took his leave, exiting my hotel room. When the door shut I walked around the bed and sat on the side facing towards the window. The pulled curtains revealed the Seoul city night skyline. I watched as dozens of bright lights moved quickly along the roads, knowing that each lighted dot represented people… people that I couldn’t reach anymore. I tightly pursed my lips together, thinking back to the conversation I had just had with JR.

“…That’s lonely.”