Ren’s POV

When I went back inside of the club after Mr. Kim had left, I was met by Aron who walked up to me, holding my phone in his palm. I stared down at it and then back at him before slowly taking it from him. I could have sworn that I still had it on me. It must have slipped out of my pocket back when I had been sitting at the table. Without giving it much thought, I started to slide it into my back pocket when Aron suddenly stopped me, telling me that during the brief time I had stepped outside with Mr. Kim I had received a phone call. I raised a brow before holding it back out in front of me, turning on the screen. As the screen illuminated I quickly typed in my passcode then stared down at the notification that sat in front of me. I nearly felt my heart drop down to my toes. Of all times to call; it was just my luck that JR would wait to call me when I wasn’t around or didn’t have my phone on me. I immediately grew worried. It was already somewhat late to be calling, especially for someone like him. Not to mention the fact that we hadn’t spoken in such a long time… I couldn’t shake the fear that something terrible might have happened to him. Without saying anything more to Aron, I turned my back to him and then pressed the call-back button, making my way back outside with the phone pressed up against my right ear. The phone continued to endlessly ring with my heart slowly pounding inside of my chest. Come on, answer…

No response.

I remained motionless while staring out into the parking lot in front of the club with wide, stunned eyes. He hadn’t picked up. Did something really happen to him after all? It was possible that JR just didn’t get to his phone in time and nothing was wrong at all… but my overactive imagination was getting the best of me once again and forcing me to panic. Maybe he just had his hands full. Let’s try again, Ren. I shakily brought down my phone and pressed the redial button before holding it back up to my ear. The phone rang several more times with the same result, no response. An inescapable feeling of fear and dread started to spread within me. What do I do in this situation? There was no telling if something had really happened to him. But then again, there was no telling if something hadn’t. Would it be problematic of me to show up unannounced to check on him, or would it be irresponsible of me not to? I wasn’t sure of what to do.

I dropped the phone down to my side and glanced behind my left shoulder back inside of the club. I could see Aron and Minhyun wrapped up in their own little world and dancing and grinding on each other to the beat of the music. I didn’t want to disturb their fun by asking Aron to take me to JR’s place to check on him. Not to mention I didn’t think JR would approve of me showing Aron where he lived, even though he now knew where Aron lived. I bit down on my bottom lip and made a haste decision to leave the club unannounced. I ran to the side of the street and hailed a taxi. Once one of them pulled up to me at the side of the road, I hurriedly climbed inside and rushed the driver to take me over to JR’s apartment. During the short, brief ride, I couldn’t concentrate enough to think clearly, mostly as a side effect of still being somewhat buzzed from the large amount of alcohol I had consumed. In part, I think it was also a factor that had convinced me that it would be a great idea to leave without telling Aron or Minhyun where I was going or that I had even left. The only thing that I could even think of was getting to JR as fast as I could.

The taxi driver sped through several red lights and stop signs to get me to JR’s apartment on time. When we pulled out in front of the building, I quickly paid the man then haphazardly scurried outside of the vehicle and up the stairs, almost tripping over the top step. Once I had reached the top and regained my balance, I took a moment to recollect myself. I wasn’t sure what I would find on the other side of that door and I wanted to prepare myself for it. Of course, JR could be perfectly fine, in which case he would be the one opening the door to the sight of a perfectly drunken idiot. I took several deep breaths for the possibility of this scenario, somewhat hoping that the fresh air would help sober me up at least a little bit even though there wasn’t any science to prove that it would. But there was also the chance that he wouldn’t answer, in which case I would probably have to drag myself downstairs and talk to the landlord and convince him to hand over a key to a perfectly drunken stranger, which didn’t seem at all plausible. I froze. I really should have thought this more through before I made the trip over here… but my fear had taken a hold of me and wouldn’t let me not come. I shook my head from side to side then rose my hand up to knock. I paused when I noticed that there was a folded up note left by the management taped up on the door frame. On the outside of the note there was a name that had been printed. My cognition still blurred as side effects from the alcohol, I had to squint my eyes to read it:

Kim Jonghyun.

I furrowed my brows as it suddenly hit me that this might be JR’s real name. I thought back to the other day that seemed so long ago at the coffee shop when I witnessed him scribble his signature on the receipt. I remembered seeing a definite ‘K.’ I tilted my head to the side. JR’s last name was ‘Kim’ too? How odd. Just how many Kim’s were there in Korea? I shook my head once again. I kept getting easily distracted. JR could be dying in there and here I was outside pondering about irrelevant things. I felt like the worst person. I really needed to stop drinking. I rose both fists and started to pound on the outside of his front door. I waited several seconds. No response. I worriedly called out to him while I continued to knock. A few seconds later I noticed the door slightly open. I took a step back when the messy haired blonde that was wrapped up in a grey hoodie and black skinny jeans suddenly stepped outside, closing the door behind him. He stared at me with a startled look in his eyes.

“R-Ren…?” He asked, seeming surprised to see me standing at his front door. But he wasn’t the only one that felt this way. I was somewhat taken aback by his appearance. His normally tan skin was paler than usual and his face appeared to be sunken in. The hoodie which he wore was an old one that I had recognized, however, it now looked a lot bigger on him. I glanced down at his legs which were skinnier than the last time I had seen him. What in the world had happened to him to make him look this way? I struggled to keep it together in front of him.

“Are you ok?” I worriedly asked. JR blinked a couple of times and stared back with a clueless look on his face before slowly nodding.

“I’m fine... and you?” He awkwardly replied, bringing his right hand up and nervously scratching behind his ear and looking off towards the side. He seemed uncomfortable that I had asked him about his poor health which was visibly obvious. I shook my head. I couldn’t accept his answer. Clearly he wasn’t as fine as he was trying to present himself to be. He looked tired and haggard, like he hadn’t slept or ate in days.

“Are you eating?” As I asked this JR suddenly laughed.

“You’re still always thinking about food, huh?” He replied, dodging the question. The answer was so obvious though that he didn’t need to tell me, even though I wished that he would.

“You called me… but when I called back, you didn’t answer… I got worried so I hurried here.” I said, watching as JR stared at my clothes. A sudden worried look flashed across his face as he glanced up at me.

“Were you… out?” JR cautiously asked.

“I was with Minhyun and Aron.” I replied. A great look of relief seemed to wash across JR’s face. I slightly furrowed my brows and tilted my head to the side, wondering what that could have been about. JR tiredly smiled at me.

“I was in the other room. I didn’t know you called me back.”

“Why did you call?” I asked. JR grew silent. It was almost as if he had been secretly hoping that I would forget about it after he had purposely tried to change the subject. I took a step forward. I wanted to know. “You called me.” I said to refresh his memory. JR nervously pursed his lips together as he seemed to ponder his thoughts for his words.

“I don’t… know any other way how to say it…”

I shook my head. “That’s ok; just say it. Whatever it is you want to say, just say it. Please… I’ve gone this long without so much as a word from you. I’m dying to hear whatever it is you have to say to me.” I suddenly paused. “Do you… perhaps have your answer for me? I think I’m ready, whatever the answer might be… So please, don’t hold back and just say it.” I nearly pleaded for him to talk to me. Even though earlier since speaking to Dambi I felt hopeful, right now I felt scared and so insecure. Why did it feel like I was about to be rejected? I told him I was ready, but to be honest, I wasn’t quite sure how I’d handle it if he told me that he didn’t want to see me. I shifted my gaze down to the floor as I waited to hear his response which seemed to take forever to come.

“I… missed you.” JR’s slow, shy words surprised me as they reached my ears. I glanced back up at him with a stunned look on my face.

“You… what?” I asked, feeling my heart come to a stop. JR’s face turned red and he glanced off to the side, embarrassed.

“Please don’t make me say it again…”

“Say it! Please… say it one more time…” I begged him. JR nervously turned his head back to face me.

“I said I… missed you.” He repeated himself one more time for me. He sounded surprised at himself, perhaps amazed or even maybe somewhat proud of the fact that he had actually said it out loud in front of me.

“You… did?” I asked. My heart started to pound so fast that I thought I would faint soon. No, not now. Keep it together, Ren. Don’t black out, not now of all times. I wanted to hear this- all of it. JR shyly nodded and shifted his gaze down to the ground. I sadly smiled back at him. “I missed you too…” My voice trailed off as silent tears threatened to spill from the corners of my eyes. I softly laughed. “I missed you like crazy!” I replied. JR glanced back up at me and shyly smiled and laughed with me.

“…Me too.” He quietly admitted, nervously kicking the toes of his shoes against the floor.

“Are you busy now? Can I come in?” I hopefully asked. A look of shock and panic suddenly spread across JR’s face. He quickly shook his head from side to side before pointing behind him with his right thumb.

“A-Ah, it’s a real mess in there right now. That’s why I’m standing outside.” He strangely replied. A wave of disappointment spread over me and I held my head down low. Was he just making excuses because he was scared of being alone with me after admitting something as simple as missing me, or was it true and there really was a mess in there that he didn’t want me seeing? It was frustrating never knowing what was really going on inside of JR’s head. It could have been one thing, or it could have been another- there was no way of me actually knowing. JR must have sensed my disappointment and he quickly cleared his throat. “Um… but I do have some time… i-if you want to hang out somewhere nearby.” He said, taking me by surprise. I immediately glanced back up at him, able to quickly drop the disappointed act in seconds. I smiled in excitement.

“Ok!” I quickly replied before he changed his mind. JR took his keys out from the front pocket of his hoodie and locked the door behind him. When he finished he turned around and walked with me down the stairs until we reached the bottom level. From there the two of us started walking side by side down the side of the road until we reached a nearby park that was completely empty. As we approached it, my eyes lit up as I spotted the swing set. I pointed my index finger to it before running towards it, taking a seat. JR calmly walked towards the swing set and stood behind me, taking the two chains in each hand and pulling my seat backwards before gently pushing me forward. As JR continued to slowly push me in the swing I felt butterflies start to flutter around in the bottom of my stomach. I turned my head and glanced back at him. “Is it true?”

“Hmm?”

“That you missed me.”

“…Yeah.”

“Why?” I continued to press for more. “When was it that you missed me the most?” I suddenly felt JR stop pushing me from behind. I brought the heels of my shoes down into the dirt beneath the swing and skidded to a stop before twisting and turning back to look at him. He seemed to be lost in thought.

“When everything became too much.” He vaguely responded. I paused and stared at him.

“Huh?”

“There were times… where I felt so overwhelmed. At those times… I wanted to see you because… during the times where you were by my side, the sadness… the insecurity… the loneliness… it all just went away. Just by hearing your voice or seeing the look of happiness in your eyes, it gave me… hope. Like… I just knew things would work out even when it felt otherwise. I felt that way a lot lately. All the stress that comes from work- I just… I wanted to see you.” JR confessed with much effort to find his words, meanwhile tugging at my heartstrings.

“Fool… you should have just called! You should know by now that there’s almost nothing that could keep me away from you-” I cut myself off when I realized I was starting to sound a bit weird. I was just that happy to hear those words from him. “I mean, if you really miss someone, you’ll make the effort to see them… is what I mean… Sorry.”

“I’m sorry… that I couldn’t try harder… All of my effort lately has gone towards making other people happy and I just got so caught up in it that I couldn’t even make myself happy, let alone you.”

“Other people happy?” I asked, pausing to think for a moment. “Oh, you mean the people you work for? Your bosses?” I asked, recalling how he had said that he worked for a fashion blog. JR awkwardly froze before slowly nodding.

“Yeah.” He replied, shifting his gaze down to the floor, depressed. I stood up from the swing and turned around to face him. Without exchanging any words, I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly while resting my chin down on his right shoulder. His body seemed to stiffen as I held him. I frowned then consolingly started to pat his back several times in a comforting pattern.

“It must have been hard.” I replied, still feeling torn about his frail and sickly appearance. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that he was being overworked. His original claims about my confession being bad timing and that he would be busy- it had all been true, hadn’t it? Whatever JR was doing these days, it was clearly taking a toll on his body. And it hurt. It hurt to see him like this. I didn’t want to see him like this. I wasn’t sure if I would have preferred not seeing him a little while longer over seeing him the way he was now. I didn’t understand. First Jason, now JR? I just couldn’t believe how busy everyone was these days that they were literally working themselves sick. I felt JR’s stiff body start to lessen in my arms and his shoulders start to tremble.

“I’m ok.” His voice struggled to speak clearly without breaking. I could tell he was trying to be strong for my sake.

“You’re clearly not.” I replied, still patting him on his back. “You know… it’s ok… to not be ok, sometimes.”

“But I am ok…” His voice trailed off. “Because… you’re here now.” As he said this I felt my heart melt more. I squeezed him even tighter in my arms.

“I’m not going anywhere.” I said, refusing to let go. My eyes widened in shock when I suddenly felt JR bring his left arm around my back and his right around my waist, pulling me closer into him. By now my heart was beating so fast that I thought it might explode. I blushed, not at all having expected him to hug me back. I bit my bottom lip before finally deciding to speak. “Choi Minki.” I awkwardly said, taking JR by surprise.

“What?”

“My name- ah, my real name. It’s ‘Minki,’ not Ren.” I replied. JR paused.

“But why…”

“I saw a note on your door earlier that was addressed to a ‘Kim Jonghyun.’ I figured that’s you, and I didn’t want to know your real name without you knowing mine.” I answered honestly. There was a long moment of silence between us before I felt his arms around me lessen and he slowly pulled away from me, making me drop my arms drop down to my side. He stared at me with a serious look on his face. It was almost like seeing a whole new person in front of me just now.

“Can you do me a favor, Ren?” He suddenly asked. I stared at him.

“Um, sure? What is it?”

“Can you not tell anyone? My name, that is…” His voice trailed off. I furrowed my brows at his odd request.

“Sure, but why…?” I asked, not understanding why he wouldn’t want anyone to know his real name. JR awkwardly smiled and sunk into his shoulders.

“…I don’t like my real name…” He uncomfortably replied, making me laugh.

“Is that all? Geeze, you had me thinking it was because of some big sort of secret or something! God! You’re really funny sometimes, you know that? Heh.”

“And you… Minki?” As I heard him call me by my real name it suddenly felt as if time had come to a still. My face immediately turned red in embarrassment. All he had done was call my name, but why was my heart beating so fast right now? I took a step backwards and nervously laughed.

“It’s not fashionable enough.” I lied. The true reason why I refused to go by my real name was because I didn’t want reporters digging up my past personal history if and when I became famous. I didn’t want them to have that information readily accessible to them. The last thing I wanted was for people to feel sorry for me. When I had told JR my story, he had told me that I was inspirational. But becoming someone’s inspiration wasn’t what I was setting out to be. I selfishly just wanted to live right and model.

“But Ren is?” He asked. I sheepishly nodded. JR smiled brightly. “I like both.” He replied. I stared at him with wide eyes. Was that perhaps… a confession? With him I could never be too sure. I continued to press for more information.

“JR, can I ask you something?”

“Yes?”

“When you said you missed me… Did you mean as a friend, or…” I couldn’t finish my sentence. I was too terrified to continue.

“Or?” He asked, seeming clueless to the situation at hand. I took a deep breath and exhaled. Just do it. It’s not as if he doesn’t know how you already feel.

“Do you like me, JR?” I bluntly asked. JR stared at me for a few moments in silence then blinked. He simply nodded.

“Of course I do.”

“Not like that!” I exclaimed, turning even redder and slightly frustrated with him. “I mean-”

“YOU TWO!” A policeman suddenly walked up to us after yelling. He gave us an irritated look before pausing and glancing over at me after he must have smelled the alcohol in my breath. “Are you drunk?” He asked me.

“Not anymore- I mean, no, officer…” Oh god… was the smell that evident? Had JR been smelling it this entire time? Why hadn’t he said anything? I was more humiliated about looking like an alcoholic in front of JR than fearful of getting arrested. The policeman glared at me. JR suddenly stepped forward.

“It’s not a crime here in Korea and we’re not bothering anyone.” He replied, sticking up for me.

“But loitering is. This is public property and it’s late. The park is closed.” The officer warned.

“Then we’ll leave.” JR suddenly grabbed me by my right wrist and led me away from the park, headed towards the direction of his apartment. For a moment I was stunned about what had just happened. I stared at the back of his head as I allowed myself to be dragged by JR. Who was this person just now? Whoever he was, he seemed much braver than how I last remembered him. This thought somewhat depressed me. It had been over a month since the last I saw him, but so much had seemed to change during that time frame. First his appearance, and now his personality? Becoming braver was never really a bad thing. I guess this subtle change in him made me realize just how much I had missed him. The rest of the walk back was spent in silence. With JR still tugging on my wrist, I followed him up the stairs where he finally came to a stop in front of his door. I held my head down low and stared at his shoes, feeling depressed. “Are you okay?” He asked, turning around.

“Yeah.” I lied. To be honest, I was still a bit bummed about our conversation being cut off short before he could answer my question about how he felt about me. JR paused for a moment.

“Can I… see your hand?” He strangely asked out of the blue. I slowly glanced up at him.

“My hand? Why?”

“Just… can I see it?” He persistently asked again. Although I found it weird, I was too exhausted and still slightly buzzed to question it any further. I tiredly dropped my head down and held my left palm out to him. I felt his warm hands slowly take mine in his and he flipped it over so that the back was facing him. JR suddenly knelt forward and softly brushed his lips against my hand briefly before pulling away and placing both of his over his extremely red face. My eyes grew wide and my heart stopped. What just happened?! I ferociously blushed as I slowly pulled my hand back and stared at him in shock.

“I-I-Is that… your answer?” I stuttered as I tried to ask and watched JR quickly turn away from me and desperately reach for the doorknob which was locked. When he realized this, he shakily dug both hands into his hoodie pocket and removed his keys. He was panicking. As he tried to unlock the door the keys fell from his hands and onto the floor. He stared down at them in disbelief in himself that he had dropped them. When he started to bend down to reach for them I called out to him again. “JR.” He paused. A moment of silence passed between us before he finally spoke.

“I might… I might have a little bit of free time coming up soon… If you want… maybe we can…”

“Yes!” I excitedly exclaimed, almost scaring him by how loud and quick my answer was. Never mind that he didn’t directly answer my question. JR was willing to free up some time from his busy schedule to meet with me, not to mention the kiss he had just planted on my hand. Those were answers in itself, weren’t they?

“Yes?” He asked, sounding surprised as he finally picked his keys up and stood back up straight. I eagerly nodded. I had been waiting for this moment to come where we could finally hang out again.

“I’d love to.”

“But… you don’t even know what I was going to ask you…”

“It doesn’t matter; I’ll go anywhere with you.” I happily exclaimed. A surprised, yet genuine smile spread across JR’s face.

“Ok… I’ll um… I’ll call you tomorrow?” He shyly asked. I nodded again.

“Sounds good!” I cheerfully replied and watched as JR awkwardly waved goodbye to me before excusing himself and stepping back inside of his apartment alone. Although secretly I would have loved to join him in there, I knew that it was too soon. I knew that with JR, I would have to take things extremely slow because it seemed like he was just learning how to deal with his emotions and feelings for the first time, but I didn’t mind it. In fact, I thought it was kind of cute. Once I was standing alone outside of JR’s apartment, I rose the hand that he had kissed up in the air before me and blushed as a wide smile spread across my lips. That was definitely the first time anyone had ever done something like that to me. In a sense, I almost felt like royalty, like some kind of princess. I laughed at myself as I traveled down the stairs, still holding my hand outstretched in front of me. Tonight really did feel like some sort of dream. I had awoken thinking that it would be the same ordinary day, with the exception of having the work day off. What started off as having no plans soon turned otherwise and I would have never had any idea that at the end of the night I would end up here. But I was glad I did.

 

 

When I awoke the next morning, I woke with a burst of energy and surprisingly no hangover. I immediately sat up in bed and glanced outside of the window to my left to see the gloomy sky that was an opposite contrast to the way I was feeling deep down inside. I looked at the calendar on the wall to my right. It was already November 1^st. I was amazed at how fast the seasons seemed to change lately. In two more days it would be my birthday and I would be turning 24 soon. As that thought suddenly occurred to me my good mood was suddenly ruined. The concept of turning another year older and aging terrified me. I leapt of bed and sprang into the bathroom, grabbing all of my precious skin care products and generously applying them onto my face all at once. Growing another year older in the modeling industry was like a death sentence. I sank to my bottom on the bathroom floor and threw my head back, staring up into the ceiling. Why did this have to happen now when everything was starting to go great with JR? I narrowed my eyes. Nobody could know. Turning 24 would be a secret that I kept to myself.

I climbed up from the floor and went on about my usual morning ritual of getting ready for the day. I dressed in a simple black and oversized long-sleeve top, destroyed dark blue skinny jeans, a pair of white shoes, and a hanging silver chain with dog tags draped around my neck. I ran my fingers through my short blonde bangs and messily styled them for more of a ‘rough’ look. Once I was finished, I was straight out the door and headed down to the JA Style studio. When I arrived and walked upstairs towards the practice room, I noticed that several of the other models were out loitering inside of the lobby in the hallway. I managed to spot both Minhyun and Aron sitting with their backs turned to me in a couple of armchairs that sat in front of the television that was hanging from the wall. As I approached them, I noticed the tired and hung over looks on both of their faces when they turned their heads and looked at me. Minhyun took a moment to simply just stare at me before narrowing his eyes in annoyance.

“With as much as you drank last night, how is it that you look like a ray of sunshine?” Minhyun mumbled, covering his eyes with his right hand as the light from the room proved to be too much for him. Aron sat forward and reached across his armchair to Minhyun, placing his right hand on Minhyun’s left shoulder consolingly.

“Minhyun, Minhyun… remember, he’s an alcoholic. He’s used to it.” Aron reassured him. Minhyun slowly nodded.

“Ah, I forgot.” Minhyun mumbled once again as he seemed to remember this ‘fact.’ I furrowed my brows and huffed.

“I am not an alcoholic!” I protested. Minhyun slowly shook his head then glanced up at me over his hand.

“Where did you go last night? Aron said you received a call and then just left without telling anyone. We halfway expected to hear about you on this morning’s news, thinking something must have happened to you.” Minhyun replied. I awkwardly paused.

“Oh, uh, that? It’s nothing. I just went home.” I replied. Aron stared at me then folded his arms across his chest and swung his right leg over his left in the chair.

“You left about the same time Mr. Kim did.” He said, suspiciously eyeing me. I furrowed my brows in confusion.

“What? You think I left with- no! Of course not! Ask Mr. Kim yourself.” I said, shocked that Aron would have come to such a conclusion like that. Ever since that ‘dating scandal’ that appeared in the newspapers and online articles, it seemed like everyone around here thought that it was true. It wasn’t true. Mr. Kim and I were just friends, weren’t we? I thought back to that confusing moment last night when we were talking about our ‘scandal.’ I couldn’t tell if it was because I was still drunk or if it was my wild imagination making things up again, but I really could have sworn Mr. Kim seemed disappointed in my relief towards him clearing up the entire mess in a public press conference. When I had asked him about it, he almost seemed to tease me about it yet once again like he had the other time when I thought he was asking me to do ‘anything’ for him, of course that ‘anything’ being something that shouldn’t occur between a boss and their employee. And then there was that touch, when he had placed his hand on my shoulder, leaving me both stunned and confused. I furrowed my brows. Was there something going on between Mr. Kim and I, and I was just too dense to see it?

Minhyun rolled his eyes. “No thanks.”

“You know we can’t just ask him. Not all of us are as close to him as you are.” Aron retorted. I narrowed my eyes at him after taking offense to his statement.

“You make it sound as if it’s my fault, like I purposely tried to snatch Mr. Kim’s attention. Newsflash, Mr. Kim is his own person. Whoever he chooses to talk to is on him, not me. I didn’t do anything.” I replied, feeling somewhat hurt that Aron continued to blame me for something that I didn’t do. Aron arrogantly turned his head to the side and looked away from me.

“Yeah, but you have this ‘way’ about you.” He mumbled.

“Huh? Way?” I asked, wanting to know what in the world he was talking about now.

“Oh, come on!” Aron scoffed, turning back to face me again. “You’re so nice and friendly that people naturally just flock to you. And you’ve got a pretty face and nice body to go with it.”

“Are you trying to imply that I seduced him?” I asked in shock and disbelief. Minhyun suddenly leaned forward and slapped Aron on his arm.

“Enough.” He warned as he uncomfortably glanced around to see that we had claimed the attention of several other models that were lingering around the room. All curious eyes and ears were on us.

“No, he already said it, so I want to hear it.” I replied, overturning Minhyun’s warning to urge Aron to stop. I didn’t care if they overheard. Just because Aron said it didn’t make it true. I narrowed my eyes at him. “I was in a really good mood this morning and you ruined it. So much for wanting to be my friend. Do friends treat each other like this, or is it only in your world?”

“I get it, I’m a ty friend.”

“The worst!” I shot back. I must have struck a nerve with him. Aron suddenly stood up from his seat and glared at me.

“You tout so much about friendship but fail to see when you’ve ed up.”

“Me?” I gasped.

“You’re keeping secrets from us. What’s so wrong with wanting to know the truth? Where did you really go last night and why can’t you tell us?” He demanded. I took a step backwards, stunned. I could understand where Aron was coming from, but even still I didn’t want to tell him the truth that I was with JR. Why? Because JR had never really confirmed it with his own words if we were an ‘item’ or not. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions that we were together and tell everyone and then it turn out to be a misunderstanding. I couldn’t live with that humiliation and I didn’t want to drag a sensitive person like JR under with me either.

“Why does it matter?” I defensively asked.

“Because we were worried about you!” Aron exclaimed, pointing at the TV to show me that they had been indeed watching the news like how Minhyun said they were. I guiltily looked away.

“Thanks for your concern, but I’m capable of taking care of myself.” I declared, still determined not to involve JR in this situation. Aron scoffed.

“As if, Ren! You think I have issues but you’re blind to your own. You’re not as perfect as you think you are. Wake up, buddy, and take a good look in the mirror.” Aron bitterly replied. I held my head down low, feeling upset. I tightly clenched my right fist down by my side and pursed my lips together.

“I acknowledge I have many faults… but you didn’t need to go there and attack me with them…” My voice trembled as I spoke. I was aware that I was damaged or defective, especially during the time it took to recover from that accident so long ago. I was psychologically unstable at times, even though most of the time I was fine. But I worked hard to overcome that by being open minded, friendly, and optimistic. To suddenly be attacked for who I was like this despite my best efforts… it hurt. Aron suddenly froze as he realized that I was close to tears. He took a step forward to apologize.

“Goddammit… Look, Ren, I’m sorr-”

“What’s going on here?!” Everyone suddenly paused and stiffened as the sound of Mr. Kim’s angry voice filled the room. We all turned and gazed at the designer who was wearing a black t-shirt underneath a grey cardigan and matching dark grey skinny jeans. He marched up to us and stopped by our side, narrowing his gaze underneath his sunglasses on Aron before glancing over at me briefly. We both remained silent. None of the other models dared to even speak. Mr. Kim finally grew impatient with the lack of response. “Are neither one of you going to speak?” He asked. I shifted my gaze down to the floor. Minhyun suddenly stood up.

“It was a misunderstanding, the topic of which you don’t need to know. Regardless, Aron and I will take full responsibility for it.” Minhyun replied, coming to our aid. Mr. Kim stared at him over the rim of his sunglasses.

“I don’t need to know?” He asked rather condescendingly. Minhyun remained firm.

“No.” He replied. Mr. Kim turned away from him in annoyance and addressed all of the other models in the room.

“Everyone except you three, practice room. Now.” He ordered. Everyone practically ran to escape the high fueled tension in the room. Once they were gone and it was just the four of us standing in the lobby area of the hallway, Mr. Kim turned back to Minhyun. “Why must you be the constant source of my frustration?” He darkly asked. A small, amused smirk spread across Minhyun’s lips.

“The same could be said towards you.”

“Mr. Hwang,” Mr. Kim firmly warned. Minhyun innocently smiled, tilting his head slightly to the side.

“I said ‘could.’” Minhyun continued to mock him. My eyes widened in shock when I realized what it was that he was up to. He was purposely trying to spite Mr. Kim in order to distract him from the feud between Aron and I, taking the attention off of us and placing it on himself. “Despite the fact you continue to rub me the wrong way, at the very least it could be said that I still hold a decent amount of respect for what it is you do. You are, after all, the designer of House of Kim, one of the most notable and well-established companies in the business. So… I will listen and accept whatever the consequences of my actions may be.”

Mr. Kim remained silent and motionless for a while. “Go. Join the others in the practice room.” He suddenly and very surprisingly said, shocking the three of us. Minhyun furrowed his brows in confusion after being caught off guard.

“Is that it?” He cautiously asked, wondering like the rest of us why he was being let off the hook so easily.

“The only solution to dealing with you is by choosing not to. You might be a seasoned model, but you are not worth my time.” Mr. Kim simply replied. Minhyun dryly laughed.

“Ah, there’s the claws. Hmm, okay then. Suit yourself.” He coolly shrugged it off and walked away, leaving just the three of us now standing in the hallway. I glanced back and worriedly watched as Minhyun casually entered the practice room and disappeared. After watching him leave, I looked back to see Mr. Kim staring at Aron.

“How unusual it is for you to not have something to say.” Mr. Kim replied. Aron guiltily kept his gaze downward. It was evident that he was trying to remain on his best behavior for fear of getting kicked off of the lineup for the collaboration show. “If you have nothing to say, you may join the others.” He insisted. Aron paused for a couple of seconds before awkwardly bowing in front of him and quietly walking away and leaving us for the practice room. I furrowed my brows, somewhat stunned that Minhyun’s plan had managed to work. I had expected for Mr. Kim to punish at least one of us, but in the end he hadn’t. Once Aron was gone, Mr. Kim surprised me by placing his hand on my shoulder again. “You ok?” He worriedly asked. I froze for a moment, my heart racing again by the mere fact that he was touching me. I awkwardly nodded.

“Yeah- I m-m-mean yes…” I replied, correcting myself for talking too casually in front of him at the workplace. Mr. Kim removed his sunglasses and gave me a concerned look.

“Are you sure? You don’t look fine.” He asked, his eyes focused on me. I quickly looked away and nodded, forcing a fake smile on my lips. He was right, I wasn’t fine. I was still bothered by Aron’s words, but he couldn’t know that.

“I’m fine, thank you.”

“Why do I get the feeling you’re lying to me?” He accused me. My eyes widened in horror and I looked back at him in a panic.

“I didn’t mean to lie to you, Mr. Kim, I swear-” I replied, having a hard time trying to differentiate how to react in front of him while being inside of the studio. Right now that we were in private, he was acting very casually towards me so I was confused because I had been told to treat him as my boss here in the office. He must have found my reactions amusing because I now found him smiling at me. The sight of his smiling features I found almost paralyzed me. I had grown used to seeing his brooding or sad look on his face here at JA Style lately. His eyes became smaller, turning into crescent moons and almost disappearing when he was genuinely smiling, I realized. This was probably the second time I had thought this since the first time I had seen him at Jason’s fashion show, but Mr. Kim was almost blindingly handsome. Wait, what?

“I have an announcement to make in there, shortly afterwards you will all be dismissed for the evening. Since I don’t imagine you have anything planned for the rest of the day other than practice, would you mind accompanying me this afternoon?” He suddenly asked, snapping me out from my awkward thoughts.

“H-Huh? Oh, uh… huh?” I nervously asked for clarification.

“I’ll treat you to a meal-”

“FOOD!” I instantly shouted. Wow, that was deeply programmed. I slapped my hand in front of my face. I wanted to die from humiliation. Mr. Kim laughed at me.

“Is that all it takes? You make it too simple, Ren.” Mr. Kim laughed once again then left me for the practice room. Once he was gone I found myself staring at the wall across the room, both my heart and mind racing. What had he meant be that just now? How what takes? What was too simple? I suddenly felt myself panicking by my lack of understanding the events currently going on around me. Am I imagining things again? Agh! I hurried back to the practice room to join everyone. I found everyone sitting on the floor when I entered. I quickly found a place to sit beside Minhyun while Aron sat on the other side of him. I felt him looking at me as I sat, almost as if he had wanted to say something to me. Still feeling somewhat hurt and bitter towards him, I kept my attention forward and ignored him. Mr. Kim took his place at the front and center of the room to make his announcement. “Today I’m here in Jason’s stead. He wanted me to inform you all that for the next three weeks while he is recovering from his sickness, that all practices as a group are cancelled. That, however, does not mean that you are not expected to practice on your own time during that time frame. I’m more than sure that it does not need to be said what will happen to your secured spot in the lineup if you manage to gain weight during your off season. Make sure you keep up your appearances and visuals and expect a phone call for when to be back. Enjoy your free time while you have it. That is all.” All of the models stood up and started leaving the practice room one by one after Mr. Kim had dismissed us. Minhyun remained seated, pursing his lips together as he stared up at the ceiling in wonder.

“I have no idea what to do with this ‘free time.’” Minhyun confessed.

“Really?” I asked him.

“Jason has never really taken a break before, or at least not one this long. Hmm… Oh well. I’ll find something.” He boredly replied then stood up. His response surprised me. This was the first time Jason had really been away from his work for so long? I was starting to build up the image of the type of person he might really be, contrasted to what he allowed or presented for us to see. Jason was a hardworking, almost overzealous individual that seemed to take shortcuts if they were presented to him or if he could, given the feud that occurred between him and Dambi.

“Ren,” Aron suddenly called out to me, snatching me from my thoughts. I glanced at him briefly out of habit before remembering I was still upset with him and looked away. “I didn’t get the chance to say it earlier, but I’m sorry.”

“…” I remained stubbornly quiet even though deep down I was already willing to forgive him. I couldn’t stay mad at people for long. It just wasn’t a part of me to hold a grudge. I tightly pursed my lips together and folded my arms over my chest. “I’m… sorry too.” I murmured.

“Just… you were safe last night, right? You didn’t get into any trouble?” He asked without continuing to ask about my whereabouts last night. I stared at him for a moment before smiling and nodding.

“Yeah. I was safe.” I actually got stopped and questioned by a police officer last night, but I’m good.

“Ok. Good.” He shortly responded.

“Why…? Do you mean to tell me that if I had been in trouble, you would have come running to help me?” I asked, genuinely curious about how last night would have unfolded if I had been arrested for ‘loitering’ and if Aron had come to bail me out. Aron nodded.

“Yeah, of course. I’ve said it many times before: I know I’m a , but I have a conscience too.” He replied. I grinned.

“Aww, I feel touched.”

“Don’t be! It’s only because you’re his friend and nothing else!” Minhyun jealously interrupted, grabbing Aron’s arm as he was still sitting and dragging him across the practice room floor with him with Aron smiling widely the entire time, not even protesting it. I laughed at the two of them then glanced up as Mr. Kim approached me inside of the empty room, holding out his hand for me to take. I stared up at it, wondering if I should take it and what the significance of it was. Was he really wanting to help me, or did by taking his hand did it mean something else, like- dammit, I was really overthinking things again, wasn’t I? I sighed at myself before reaching upwards and accepting his help, allowing him to pull me up off of the floor and onto my two feet. Once I was up, I found myself standing somewhat uncomfortably close to him with barely a foot of space in between us. I awkwardly stepped back and nervously smiled at him.

“So… where was it that you needed to go?” I asked.

“Ever since coming out as House of Kim’s designer, I can’t go out as much. There aren’t many places I can go without being bothered or followed by cameras or journalists.”

“Oh… wow, that really…”

“?” Mr. Kim teased me once again about what I had said the other night. I nervously laughed.

“Yeah!”

“It does.”

“Then where can you go?” I asked, wondering where we were headed off to. Mr. Kim looked at me.

“Will you wait around a while longer until everyone has left the building? I’ll show you then.” He said, surprising me by making me wonder just what exactly it was that he wanted to show me. I quietly nodded then watched as he left the room and walked further down the hallway, locking himself up in Jason’s office for the time being. I shrugged then began to stroll around the mostly empty hallways, randomly entering the locker room and making laps around it to kill time. I decided to take a seat on a wooden bench inside and pulled out my phone while I waited. I checked to see if I had any missed messages. There were none. I childishly pouted then frowned, putting it away. JR still hadn’t texted or called me about meeting up or doing something. I hadn’t exactly given Mr. Kim an answer when he had asked me to accompany him to well, wherever it was he was taking me. But I couldn’t exactly refuse, seeing that he was my boss and I wasn’t sure if what he wanted me around for was for work related purposes, even though I had thought of waiting around at home by the phone for JR’s call. Well, knowing JR, he had made false promises in the past to contact me the next day and usually 98% of the time he didn’t. Maybe he wouldn’t contact me today… and besides, did I really want to waste my whole day staring at my phone? Plus there was the mystery of wanting to know where Mr. Kim was going to take me, not to mention the promise of food.

About half an hour later while I was boredly strolling through the lobby Mr. Kim came to retrieve me. As he passed me, he motioned at me with his hand to follow him. The two of us traveled down the staircase and exited the store front together. I followed him towards the parking garage next door where his fancy, hard to miss car was parked in a special VIP parking spot in a secure level of the building. He unlocked the doors and climbed inside the driver’s seat while I awkwardly stood outside of his car, feeling somewhat ashamed and embarrassed that I was reaching for the backseat door. From inside, Mr. Kim rolled down the tinted window on the front passenger’s side door and stared at me. It suddenly occurred to me that he had never asked about it last time why I chose not to sit with him and it was pretty much unescapable now this time.

“Don’t feel pressured to sit back there because of who I am.” Mr. Kim tried to reassure me.

“Is it… ok if I sit back here?” I asked, really hoping that he wouldn’t try to force me to sit in the front seat. I felt a wave of anxiety laced with panic wash over me as I anticipated what he might say to me next.

“I’m not going to tell you where to sit, Ren.” Mr. Kim lightly replied. “Although I wouldn’t mind it if you joined me up here. But suit yourself.” I instantly felt relieved as he said this and climbed into the backseat. Mr. Kim paused for a moment, slightly taken aback. I awkwardly pursed my lips together and shifted my gaze into my lap to avoid having to make eye contact with him. He started the engine and started to pull out, shifting the gears into drive. It looked like I wouldn’t have to tell him after all. As we left the parking garage and started driving down the road, Mr. Kim finally spoke to me once again. “Where I’m about to take you, you have to promise me that you will not tell a soul about its location.” He replied. I blinked. Was he taking me to Narnia?

“Ok… but where exactly are you taking me?” I asked.

“The only place we can go without being disturbed by reporters.”

“Which is…?”

“My place.” He replied. My eyes grew wide and I somehow managed to choke on air. I started coughing hysterically. Mr. Kim turned his head to look back at me once we had stopped at a traffic light. “Are you ok?” He asked, seemingly not understanding why I was reacting the way I was. When I was finally able to breathe, I spoke back to him.

“M-M-Mr. Kim, I thought I had already explained to you that I’m not that kind of guy-” I stuttered. Mr. Kim grinned then slowly shook his head at me in amusement.

“Jesus, Ren. Neither am I. Just what is going on inside of that head of yours again? What exactly do you think I’m taking you there for?” There he went again, teasing me whenever the situation started to grow a bit awkward. I wasn’t imagining things anymore. It was hard to imagine something like this.

“I really have no idea, so tell me!” I replied, turning red.

“It’s the only safe place. Unless you want a second dating scandal with me.” He said. I hysterically shook my head.

“N-n-no…” My voice trailed off. “Are you sure it’s the only place they don’t know about? I mean, I can only imagine trying to explain that one to the public if they manage to take a picture of me walking outside of your home…”

“Relax,” Mr. Kim smiled at me and then turned back around to face the front and started driving again. “They don’t know about it. I’ve managed to hide away from them for this long, haven’t I?” He asked, raising a valid point.

“Ok then…” I uncomfortably replied, my heart secretly racing. I was a bit intimidated and apprehensive about going to Mr. Kim’s home for the first time. Normally something like this was never supposed to happen between a designer and his model. I wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing. Ah, I should have just stayed home and waited by the phone… I really wasn’t sure about what was going on here. I had a burning, unescapable suspicion that Mr. Kim might secretly have a crush on me, but at the same time, what if I was wrong? What if the reason he had brought me here was because he knew I was his biggest fan and that he wanted to show me his designs? To see his designs first before anyone else… something like that would have been a big honor. The confliction!

I stared out of the window and observed my surroundings. After several minutes had passed we started to approach the richer side of Gangnam where all of the billionaires were rumored to live. I was awestruck by all of the tall, beautiful buildings. I had never dared to venture this far out into the city on my own, not feeling worthy enough to be here. But being brought here by Mr. Kim, it seemed like a walk in the park to him. He was probably used to this. He had probably lived a life of luxury ever since House of Kim took off. Mr. Kim suddenly drove up to a gated community and stopped his car in front of the guard operated gate. He took out a card and showed it to the guard who scanned it and allowed him entrance. As the gate opened, he glanced back at me. “See? It’s perfectly safe. You have to have a membership card to get in here.” He reassured me. I nodded in relief.

“That’s good.” I replied. Mr. Kim drove through the gate and down the long stretch of road, passing dozens of large houses- mansions, actually. Finally he pulled up in front of the gate to one of the bigger houses that were more secluded from the rest of them. He punched in a number at the gate and we watched as it slowly opened. Mr. Kim then drove off inside, parking his car in front of the house and climbing outside. I found myself too afraid to leave the car now that we had arrived. Mr. Kim walked around the car and opened my door.

“Not coming out?”

“Do you live here all alone?” I asked in awestruck of the big, mighty residence. Mr. Kim simply nodded as if it were nothing.

“Yes.”

“Why?” I asked, suddenly catching him off guard. He paused and stared at me.

“What do you mean ‘why’?”

“If it’s just you in this big old place, wouldn’t it make you feel that much lonelier?” I asked. A painful look briefly spread across Mr. Kim’s face before it was gone. He forced a smile on his lips.

“Let’s go inside, shall we?” He ignored my question and held his hand out to me once again. I slowly reached for it and allowed him to help me out of the car. It was strange. I suddenly felt as if I were in some sort of fairytale, being led into a castle by a charming prince- in this case, it was Mr. Kim. My jaw dropped as this thought occurred to me. What the hell, Ren? Mr. Kim turned to me as he noticed the odd expression on my face. “You ok?”

I quickly shut my jaw and nodded with a fake smile spread across my lips. “Mmmhm!” I replied all too fast. Mr. Kim chuckled at me before leading me to the front door where he opened it and stepped aside, allowing me to enter first. I slowly stepped inside, glancing around at all of the deco art and designer furniture he had lying around. I almost felt like I was stepping into a wonderland of fashion. I stopped in the middle of his living room and gaped at everything. I heard Mr. Kim close the door behind him and join me.

“You seem surprised.”

“Is this place even real?” I asked, making Mr. Kim laugh.

“Of course it’s real.”

“I had no idea… that you were living in a world like this…” I replied, deeply both impressed and stunned. I almost felt too afraid to move around in fear of breaking something that I would end up having to spend the rest of my life trying to repay.

“You had no idea that I had money?” Mr. Kim asked, sounding amused. My eyes grew wide upon realizing how rude I must have just sounded.

“I didn’t mean THAT-”

“Relax, I’m kidding. I’m not one to brag.” He replied. A moment of awkward silence ensued shortly after. Mr. Kim turned to me. “Are you hungry?”

“I’m always hungry.” I honestly replied. Mr. Kim laughed at me.

“Interesting to know. There’s tons to choose from around here.”

“You can cook?” I asked. He gave me a strange look in response.

“Why couldn’t I? I’m an adult, aren’t I?”

“Kill me now…” I accidentally said out loud, earning yet another strange look from him.

“Huh???”

“Ah!” I shrieked then brought both hands over my face in embarrassment. What is wrong with you today, Ren? Agreeing to come here was a huge mistake. Mr. Kim once again laughed at me then walked towards the back of the house. I peeked out from behind my fingers and sheepishly followed him to where I learned was the kitchen. I lowered my hands and observed him as he started removing ingredients from inside of his refrigerator and placed them on the cutting board on the counter, facing me. He took out a knife and started skillfully chopping away. He glanced up and smiled at me.

“Excuse me for not taking you out somewhere fancier. As you know, I can’t go out much in public without being hassled or harassed. Besides, this is a much healthier alternative.” He replied. I slowly nodded. He had promised me a meal, but it was news to me to hear that he had actually wanted to take me to a fancy restaurant.

“Oh, don’t think anything of it.” I nervously replied and continued to watch him as he took out a frying pan and started to toss in several diced vegetables. “Mr. Kim, can I ask you why you brought me here? Not that I don’t appreciate it, I mean…”

“You seemed upset.” He simply replied, his attention still focused on cooking.

“Huh?”

“Earlier. I thought it would cheer you up if I took you somewhere. There not being many places I can go, I brought you here.” He said, referring to the fight between Aron and I that he had walked in on earlier this morning.

“Really?” I asked, surprised that he would think to do such a thing.

“Why not? We’re friends, aren’t we?” He asked, glimpsing up and smiling at me.

“Yeah, but… I just can’t believe it…” My voice trailed off in shock and disbelief. For sure I had thought that Mr. Kim might have a crush on me, but it seemed once again I was wrong.

“Can’t believe what?”

“That my hero… my idol… turned out to be a man like this.” I replied, feeling awestruck to be in his presence once again. Mr. Kim glimpsed up and gave me a questioning look.

“Like what?”

“A man that’s kind… that can design and skillfully cook… You can do everything. You’re pretty much perfect. Public appearances aside, you’re nothing what I thought you’d be but everything I’d hoped.” As I said this, Mr. Kim momentarily paused before going back to stirring the food.

“That’s a nice thing of you to say.” He said with a sad smile across his face. I blinked. Had I just offended him?

“Mr. Kim, I’m sorry if it was out of place-”

Mr. Kim shook his head. “No, it’s not. Hey, Ren, can I ask you for something?” He suddenly asked, dropping his formal speech with me and taking me by surprise. I stared at him with wide eyes briefly before blinking and nodding.

“Sure, what is it?”

“Can you call me ‘Baekho’? At least while we’re here in the confines of these walls?”

“What?” I asked, stunned. He wanted me to call him by his real name? Was this allowed? I nervously glanced at him. “Is it… okay to?” I kept my gaze on him. He nodded.

“Don’t think of me as your ‘hero’ or your ‘boss.’ Here, I’m just Baekho.”

“B-B-B… Ah, I can’t! It feels weird…” I said after trying and failing miserably. Mr. Kim laughed at me then turned the stove off.

“It’s done. Take a seat.” He motioned his hand over towards the dining room located off to the side. I quietly nodded then took a seat at the end of the long rectangular table. Mr. Kim removed two plates from the cabinet behind him then took the pan and emptied it on them. He took a plate in each hand and placed one down at the empty chair across from me before walking around and placing the other down in front of me. He walked back and took out two empty glasses, filling them with water. He walked back over to me and placed one down along with a pair of chopsticks before taking the other back to his seat. Before sitting he turned to the side and opened the blinds which revealed a large glass door which led to a pool in the backyard. My eyes grew wide in amazement.

“You have a pool?” I childishly asked, eyeing it in admiration. Mr. Kim smirked then sat down.

“It appears I do.” He replied, breaking open his own pair of chopsticks. “Why? Do you swim?”

“Well, not right now, but in the summer, yeah! When I was little, I used to always follow my older brother to the public swimming pool. He used to be on the swim team back when he was in high school.”

“And you?” He asked. I sheepishly waved my hand in front of me.

“I swim with the grace of a frog. There was no way I’d pass auditions. It was something I did for fun. I did it… because it brought me closer to my older brother.” I replied, suddenly finding myself missing Minseok. Ever since the accident I only ever pushed him away each time he tried to contact me, so he kept the contact to a minimal. I frowned, thinking back to what Aron had said earlier. I really did have several things left to work on.

“You have a brother?” He asked. I quietly nodded.

“Yes. It’s just me, my brother and my parents here in Seoul. And you?”

“I have no siblings.” He quietly said, shifting his gaze down to the table and sadly smiling. “I had two parents, but they passed long ago.”

“Oh- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up old feelings…” I quickly apologized, feeling terrible. I remembered the time where I felt all alone in the world when I was recovering from my accident. It wasn’t until speaking to someone like Mr. Kim did I feel selfish about thinking that. At least I still had my family. But Mr. Kim? He was all alone in this world. How did he manage? No wonder he always seemed so lonely. No wonder why he was quick to want to make friends with me.

“It’s alright. Like I said, it was a long time ago. To avoid sounding cliché, time really does eventually heal all.” He said, trying to reassure me.

“It must. I mean, you seem to be doing alright for yourself. Just look at you and all you’ve accomplished.” I replied. Mr. Kim gave me an uncomfortable smile.

“I don’t really want to right now.” He quietly replied. “It feels like fashion is my life 24/7. But while I’m not working, I’d like to not have to think about it. Sorry, it’s not your fault. That’s just my personal feelings towards it.”

“I understand. Leave work at work, right?” I said, feeling somewhat disappointed. I finally had the chance to sit and pick Mr. Kim’s brain about his thoughts and ideas about his designs and here he was telling me that he had no intention of doing so.

“Thanks for understanding, Ren.” He smiled back at me. I awkwardly smiled back at him.

“No problem, B-B-B… Mr. Kim.” I just couldn’t do it. He laughed at me.

“We’ll work on that.”

“Ok…” I replied, humiliated. The two of us continued to eat and make small talk during the remainder of the meal. Once finished, I found that I had actually had a fun time simply just hanging out and talking to him. I thanked him for the meal and he offered to take me back into town. To avoid being seen by the public eye, he had dropped me off inside of the parking garage back near JA Style studio. When he had stopped the car, the two of us remained sitting for a while, continuing our small talk and joking and laughing with one another. It wasn’t until I looked at the clock on his dashboard did I realize it was already close to 4 PM. I unbuckled my seatbelt and started to say my goodbye towards him when he suddenly reached out and placed his hand on my shoulder again, stopping me. I froze and slowly glanced back at him. Ever since he had reassured me back at his place that he viewed me as a friend and that this whole outing was just to cheer me up, I had started to feel confident about our relationship again now that I knew that he wasn’t really flirting with me. I smiled back at him, deeming this gesture of his as a friendly one.

“I really enjoyed your company today, Ren.”

“Me too.”

“With your approval… could we possibly do it again soon?” He seemed to slowly and cautiously ask. It was strange. When normally he appeared confident, suddenly he seemed self-conscious. No; I was just being foolish again, wasn’t I? I smiled back at him and nodded.

“Yeah, sure!” I friendly replied then waved at him before sliding out from underneath his hand and exiting the car. I gently closed the door and waved goodbye once more before turning my back and sneakily exiting the parking garage, making my way towards the bus stop further down the street and leaving Mr. Kim behind. While I stood around waiting for the bus to arrive, I stared up into the sky with my mind wandering. That hadn’t been so bad, had it? The entire time I had been apprehensive about being alone with Mr. Kim when it turned out to be nothing but my own delusional thoughts acting out again. I actually had a nice time with him. With him outlawing any discussion about work, it forced us to talk about normal, everyday things, and slowly but surely he really was showing me that there was more to ‘Mr. Kim’ than the mogul fashion designer. He wasn’t someone who was stuck up, but was actually quite down to earth, something which amazed me.

I cheerfully climbed on board as the bus arrived. I took a seat near the back and sat next to the window. It felt like life was finally starting to look up for me now. Landing a modeling gig, becoming close friends with the designer I admired, even finding a romantic interest… it was all perfect. When the bus started moving I held my hand out in front of me and smiled. The memories along with the wide range of emotions I felt from last night started returning to me. JR had really managed to catch me off guard. I never would have expected for him to kiss me- well, it was just a hand kiss, but it was really more than I would have hoped to receive from him, at least for now anyways. I lightly laughed by myself. I guess I didn’t give him enough credit to be bold enough to do something like that. Maybe JR was shyer inside of my mind than he was in reality. Either way, it felt like I had experienced a new, charming side to him. It was quite a cute, unexpected gesture from him. What made it even better was his reaction to it afterwards. He was embarrassed with himself and had try to flee, but really, he didn’t have anywhere else to run to and hide other than his apartment, which had been locked and he had been unable to open after being so shaken from actually going through with his gesture. I rested both hands down on my lap and sighed. I wondered what this made us now… if we were even anything.

I pouted then leaned my head back in my seat. JR had clearly said that he had missed me, hadn’t he? He had said that right before the hand kiss. Afterwards he had even asked to see me again. That meant something, right? Well, it didn’t necessarily mean that we were dating per say, but it at least could be viewed that we were talking or seeing one another, couldn’t it? Except… we really hadn’t been talking. And this was the first time in such a long time that we had actually seen one another. What exactly was our status? Did we have one? This was all so confusing and more difficult than any of the other relationships I had once had in the past. I had about maybe three of them in my lifespan, and those had all been so simple- of course, they were a bit more reckless and naïve due to simply being younger. None of them had really lasted too long, my longest not even lasting a whole year. But I had never really felt this strongly about any of them as I did with JR. There hadn’t been as much a connection. I admit that with the others it had been about more bodily pleasure than anything. But with JR, it wasn’t like that. Would I protest if he wanted to go beyond talking and hanging out? Of course not. But that wasn’t what I really sought from him. At first when we had first met I had been somewhat of a ert, but I was only being a hopeful tease. I had known I wouldn’t get anything out of it and I was okay with that. I just wanted to be around him. Just him being around was really enough for me. I impatiently removed my phone from my pocket and called JR. The phone rang several times and right as it seemed like I would be sent to his voicemail, he finally picked up.

“Ren?” JR groggily answered the phone. It almost sounded as if I had awoken him from a deep sleep.

“Were you sleeping just now?” I asked, starting to feel horrible about disturbing him. There was a long silence on the other end of the line. Right as I was about to question whether or not he had hung up on me, he finally responded.

“Just now…? No…” He paused, sounding confused. “Wait, what time is it?”

“It’s nearing 5 PM now.”

“You’re kidding me…” His voice trailed off in disbelief. “I slept an entire day?!” He suddenly shrieked into the phone, both startling and confusing me.

“You did what? How…?” I asked, beginning to believe that he was pranking me. I had waited almost an entire day for his phone call which never came. I had come to believe that he was just being shy about what had happened last night, not having been hibernating like a bear in a cave for a whole day. Though, with how haggard he looked and how skinny he had become, it wasn’t completely unbelievable for him to have slept for so long. He had been so busy with work that he had neglected things like sleeping and his personal health.

“I must have passed out right after you left…” He sounded stunned.

“And you’re just now waking up?” I smiled as I pictured him sleeping the day away and finding it somewhat adorable. “You didn’t even eat or go to the bathroom not even once?”

“I don’t think so…” His voice trailed off once again. He suddenly gasped as he remembered something. “… I was supposed to call you, wasn’t I? I’m so sorry-”

“It’s ok.” I immediately tried to reassure him.

“You’re mad at me, aren’t you? I kept you waiting… that’s why you’re calling, aren’t you?” He worriedly asked. I smiled then leaned my head back in my seat.

“I’m not mad. I saw how tired you looked last night, so how could I be? Besides, I know how busy you’ve been lately. We can hang out any other time, it doesn’t have to be today. I love it that you finally have some free time and want to spend some of it with me, but I’d rather you take enough of it to rest.” I said, somewhat relieved to hear the innocent reasoning behind why he hadn’t called me like he said he would.

“Are you sure…?” He sounded disappointed in himself. “I really was planning on calling you… If you want, we can still-”

“It’s fine, JR. Just stay home and rest for the rest of the day. I’m on my way home now too and I’m already planning on putting on my lazy clothes as soon as I get back and lying in bed and watching bad dramas until I fall asleep. It’s okay.”

“…Okay.” He hesitantly replied. I could tell by the tone in his voice that he really had hoped to see me today.

“But, if I could make one request… I mean, I’m not exactly sure how hectic your schedule is, but could you possibly make some time for me on the 3^rd? You see, it’s my birthday and… wow, I’ve never really felt this timid and shy about asking for someone’s time before than I have now…” I slapped my left hand over my face in humiliation. “I really wanna see you. Like, really bad, but especially on that day. Is that ok? I’ve never been one to celebrate birthdays before, but it’s something I really want to do with you. We don’t even have to do anything. We can just hang out in one another’s apartments, or-” I began to nervously ramble.

“It’s your birthday?” JR asked, sounding surprised.

“Um, yeah. I know, another year older. I’m dreading it, actually.”

“You shouldn’t… have to dread your birthday.” He quietly responded, leaving me still nervously hanging on for his answer.

“Well, for a model, a birthday is like a curse, you know?”

“It was the day so many years ago you came into this world… how could that be a curse?” He suddenly said, stunning me and making me pause. His words had managed to tug at my heart strings. I slowly smiled, touched.

“Well, when you say it like that, how could it be?” Dammit, don’t cry, Ren. I swallowed the huge lump in the middle of my throat before attempting to speak again. “So will I see you then?”

“… I’ll make sure to set my alarm two days from now so that I don’t sleep through and miss your birthday.”

“I can’t tell if that’s a joke or if you’re actually being serious.”

“A little bit of both… I slept through an entire day, so I’m a bit concerned…” JR said, sounding dazed. I laughed.

“Promise?” I asked, wanting to hear him confirm it for himself.

“It’s a promise.” He replied.

“And if you can do one more thing for me- can you promise not tell anyone about it? I don’t want my birthday to be some big old thing. I’m just happy with keeping it simple.” I replied, not really wanting to be bothered by too many people on that specific day. I just wanted it to be me and him. And besides, I couldn’t imagine the horrors that might incur that I might be subjected to if Aron and Minhyun somehow found out about it. Not like JR freely spoke to Aron, but even still, I didn’t want to take any chances.

“Simple? I’ve never really even celebrated my own birthday before… I don’t really know what to do… but I… I promise I’ll see you.” He shyly responded, sounding a bit embarrassed that he didn’t have much experience with birthday parties or celebrations.

“And?”

“I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

“Just us?” I said with hope. JR paused.

“Is that… Is that what you want?” He nervously asked. There was an uncomfortable and awkward silence that followed his question. I suddenly found myself confronted with my reasoning behind making such a request. Did I want something more than his company on that night? I wondered what kind of thoughts were racing through JR’s mind and if they were the same as mine. Did he think I was asking for something more? I couldn’t tell what he was ever thinking. Right when I believed that he was too naïve, he turned around and surprised me by kissing me. Who knew what else he secretly had waiting in store for me once he found the courage. And that was the thing too- JR was becoming braver. Soon enough I knew I wouldn’t be able to continue to write him off as being too naïve.

“… What do you mean?” I cautiously asked.

“I’m not sure what I mean either… Sorry, it was a strange question. I’ll go now-” He started to panic.

“JR, wait!” I exclaimed on the phone, not wanting to let him go just yet. “Don’t overthink it, ok? I’ll be happy if we just sit around eating popcorn and watching movies.” I replied, not wanting to rush or push him into anything if he wasn’t ready. I really would be happy just hanging out with him again.

“Ok…”

“I’ll see you soon?” I happily asked. I was thrilled by the thought that the two of us would finally get to spend more than an hour together again.

“Y-Yes.”

“Now go eat!” I was halfway joking and being serious at the same time, knowing that he probably hadn’t done so since yesterday. JR laughed in response. I smiled. “I’ll see you then.” I replied then we both said our goodbyes and hung up. The bus finally came to a stop at the station and I stood up and climbed off, walking in the direction towards my apartment building. For the rest of the night, I did exactly what I said I would do. I changed into my lazy clothes and bummed around my apartment, eagerly anticipating the next couple of days to come and pass while looking forward to the next moment I would get to see JR again.