Baekho’s POV

I had let Ren cry everything out in front of me as I continued to hold and comfort him, all the while dealing with my own feelings of dejection. It was upsetting to learn that the messages Ren had sent me last night weren’t meant for me and that he was crying about the pain that someone else had caused him. Right now Ren was highly vulnerable. Although this could have been my golden opportunity to try to take a pass at him, I couldn’t. My conscience wouldn’t allow it. I had never been that type of person and I wasn’t about to become one now just because I really liked someone. I restrained myself from doing anything more than lending him a shoulder to cry on. When the tears seemed to finally come to a stop, Ren sniffled several times before taking a few steps back and bowing his head apologetically at me. I shook my head, refusing to accept any more apologies from him.

“Are you going to be okay now?” I asked him. Ren kept his gaze shifted downwards.

“… I think so.” He replied in almost a whisper.

“Good.” I replied, trying to lighten up the mood in the air between us. “There will be no more crying or talk of firing.”

“But-”

“It’s not favoritism, it’s about not wanting to lose a valuable model in our line. I think I can learn to live with a couple of your mistakes.” I tried to reassure him. Ren still looked unconvinced. I frowned. “You must not want to model… There are people all around you at varying levels that are pulling strings to make sure you get to walk that runway. Are you just going to let them down?” I vaguely asked him with the memory of the confrontation I had witnessed between JR and Jason still on my mind. JR was dealing with a lot on his plate just to make sure Ren was still here. Ren gave me a startled look.

“There are…?”

“Regardless of whether there are or there aren’t, would you really give up that dream so easily?” I asked, dodging his question.

“I’m not giving up… I want to be here. I want to wear your clothes and present them well. I promise that if you give me another chance, I’ll work harder from here on out. I will be 100% fully committed to the show with zero distractions.” Ren promised as he continued sniffling. Zero distractions? My suspicions of whatever going on between JR and Ren had ended had just been confirmed. I nodded.

“You just gave me your word; there’s no backing out from it now. Understood?” I sternly warned him even though I still had zero intention of firing him. Besides, it was beyond my ability to do so anyways. Jason had only given me the power to fire his staff, not his models. Ren eagerly nodded in response.

“I will, thank you, Baek – I mean, Mr. Kim.”

I gave Ren a conflicted, uncomfortable look. “Baekho.” I corrected him. Ren shrunk into his shoulders.

“I’m sorry… It gets so confusing talking to you. I don’t ever know if I’m talking to my boss or my friend…” He apologized once again. I stared at him when he referred to me as his friend, a bit stunned. Earlier when he had only referred to me as his boss, I had been hurt. In fact, I had almost started giving up on the notion that he still viewed me as a friend.

“Understood. But I followed you here as your friend, not your boss.” I replied.

“A-Ah, makes sense…” Ren’s voice awkwardly replied as he kept his gaze downward and nervously tapped the tip of his shoe against the pavement. Although he wasn’t crying anymore, he was still visibly upset from the course of events that had taken place recently and I hated seeing him like this. I pointed backwards to my car behind me.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go anywhere?” I offered. Ren slowly glimpsed up at me beneath my black sunglasses.

“With you?” He asked, sounding surprised. I raised a brow.

“Why not?” I asked back. A horrified look spread across Ren’s face.

“I-I didn’t mean it like that! I meant… I don’t… have anywhere in particular to go. And besides, where is it that we could go where there won’t be any cameras around to catch you? I know you have to be careful…”

“There are places.” I replied, intent on not letting him get out of this. I knew that at a time like this where he probably wanted to be alone, he shouldn’t be. He had made a promise to me that he would work hard with zero distractions and he couldn’t do that if he was too busy dwelling on JR. I stared at the tired look on Ren’s face then folded my arms across my chest. “I’ll tell you what; you go inside and get some rest. I’ll come back this evening to pick you up.”

“You will?” Ren asked, sounding shocked. “I-It’s really not necessary, Baekho. I’m sure I’ll be fine-”

“Pretending to be fine when you’re not is a thousand times more painful than not being fine.” I replied. Ren tightly pursed his lips together, looking rather unsure.

“I’m more worried about you…” He quietly admitted, making me pause. For a second I felt touched. Even though he was clearly hurting, he was still worried about others more than himself. I raised my right hand and rested it on his left shoulder and smiled at him.

“It’ll be fine. I know a place where they’ll never find me.” I reassured him. Ren gave me a questioning look.

“You do?” He asked. I nodded.

“I do. Now go inside.” I ushered him. Ren slowly took off my sunglasses and nervously handed them back to me as he bowed. I took them then watched as he excused himself and turned and climbed up the staircase where he waived goodbye, unlocked his door and then disappeared into his unit. Once he was gone, I finally turned around and climbed back inside of my car and slowly drove away.

 

 

Later that same night, as I had promised, I texted Ren and asked him if he was still up for going outside with me. I was mostly expecting to be turned down due to his partial reluctance earlier, which is why it came as a surprise when he texted back that he still wanted to go. Needless to say I was eager to jump on this opportunity to not only meet Ren, but to actually live a little. I texted him back, telling him to wear comfortable clothes and not explaining why when he asked, other than telling him that he’d find out once we got there. I myself dressed in a black tank top and black basketball shorts. I grabbed a black track jacket and zipped it all the way up before stepping into my black sneakers and exiting the house. As I climbed inside my car I reluctantly put my ‘Mr. Kim sunglasses’ on. I started the engine and shifted the gears into drive and started rolling down the street, on my way to pick up Ren. Several minutes later when I arrived I found him already waiting for me, sitting on the staircase steps with his chin in his palm and his elbow on his knee. He was wearing that same red track suit that he had been jogging in from the other day. When he spotted my familiar car drive up, a small smile spread across his lips and he quickly stood. He cautiously took a look around his surroundings before finally approaching the side of the car. I rolled down the passenger’s side window and smiled at him.

“Get in.” I said then prompted to unlock the doors. Ren nodded. As expected, he opened the back passenger’s side door and climbed inside. Once he was seated, he nervously glanced up at me.

“Is this okay? I mean, I didn’t know what you meant by ‘comfortable clothes’ in your text earlier so I took a wild guess.”

“It’s perfect for where we’re going.” I reassured him then started to pull away from the outside of his apartment complex and back into the road.

“Where are we going?” He asked.

“You’ll see.” I vaguely responded then glanced into the rearview mirror to find that Ren’s head was hanging low and he seemed to be quietly sulking again. I pursed my lips together, feeling bad for him. “It’s a place where it’ll be safe to let all of your frustrations out.”

Ren slowly glanced up at me, meeting my gaze in the mirror. “Does such a place even exist?” He asked, making me laugh.

“Of course there is!”

“I wonder where…”

“You’ll see.” I replied then drove further into town. Several minutes later I pulled up in front of a small building within a medium sized shopping plaza and parked the car and unlocked the doors. I immediately climbed out and walked around the car to open the door for Ren before he had the chance to do it himself. When I pulled it open I was met by a startled and surprised look from the blonde in question who slowly climbed out and glanced around with a confused look on his face. I pointed towards the building which had a sign that read: Body and Seoul Kickboxing. I had looked it up earlier online and had called in advance to rent the entire gym out for the evening so that the two of us could be alone without having to worry about the media trying to take pictures of us. It was the only gym that I had found that had tinted windows that prevented others from seeing what was going on inside.

“Kick…boxing…?” Ren hesitantly asked.

“It was something I used to do for fun to help relieve stress. It worked for me, so I figured that it would probably work for you too.” I replied. A look of horror suddenly spread across Ren’s face.

“You want me to beat you up??? I can’t do that! You’re-”

“I’m your friend. And as your friend, I’m giving you permission to do it.” I replied, figuring that just by looking at him I that Ren wasn’t much of a fighter anyways. What was the worst that he could do to me? I had a whole different weight class on him.

“I don’t know about this…” Ren replied, sounding unsure. I placed my hand on his back and forced him to walk forward with me.

“Just relax. I’ll teach you everything I know.” I replied, opening the door to the building for him. Ren gave me another hesitant look before finally allowing himself to step inside. I followed after him. The entire gym was empty with the exception of the instructor, who rented us out gloves and equipment before we began and then promptly disappeared into a back room to give us our privacy. I walked over towards the boxing ring and climbed up the side and waited for Ren to join me. He slowly and awkwardly climbed up and stood with me in the center of the ring. I ped my jacket and removed it, tossing it outside with my glasses before kneeling down to pick up the blocking gloves and sliding them through my bare arms. As I stood back up and turned to face him I noticed that Ren had been staring at my physique. I gave him a surprised, amused look. When Ren realized that I had caught him, he nervously jumped then glanced off to the side. It wasn’t that I didn’t mind if he looked (actually, I enjoyed it), but it had been completely unintentional. I was genuinely just suiting up and getting ready for the lesson that was about to begin, not trying to show off my body. Ren slowly and very sheepishly turned his head back at me.

“I didn’t know that you had that many tattoos.”

I glanced down at my ink and then back up at him. “These? Why not?”

“I didn’t mean to offend you, I was just-”

I smiled. “No offense taken.”

“They look good… They suit you.” He awkwardly replied.

“Thanks.” I smiled again for a brief moment, downplaying it even though his compliments gave me butterflies in the bottom of my stomach, before giving him a determined look. I held both arms out in front of me with my elbows bent. “Now let’s begin. Put on your gloves.” I instructed, trying to change the subject before I allowed myself to become too carried away with his compliments. Remember, Baekho, it’s too soon. Be respectful enough to be patient. I watched as Ren too ped his red jacket and threw it out of the ring, revealing the short sleeved white t-shirt he had been wearing underneath. He knelt down and picked up the gloves and slid them on before standing up straight and facing me.

“Ready. What do I do next?” He asked.

“Keep your right hand up to the side of your face. This will be your guarding glove. As you extend your left arm, make sure you spin and pivot it as you make contact with my glove and then pull it right back into your chest. Give it a try.” I instructed him. Ren nodded them slowly mimicked the actions I laid out for him. “Good. You’ve got it.”

A small smile spread across Ren’s lips before quickly disappearing. “Is this what you do whenever the stress of running House of Kim becomes too much?” He asked. I quickly shut him down.

“I don’t want to talk about House of Kim.”

Ren paused, seeming stunned. “But why?”

“Why what?”

“How come you never want to talk about House of Kim with anyone?” He asked, starting to sound upset again. Now it was my turn to pause.

“Ren-”

“I know you’re not happy… Ever since stepping out into the spotlight, you’ve told me that it’s been difficult on you. You’re surrounded by people, but you’re still lonely. But don’t you even find joy in designing anymore? Do you find joy in designing? Or is it just something you do… because you’re good at it?” Ren asked. How do I answer that question, not even being the real Mr. Kim himself but a fake? I stepped towards him and placed both of my hands on his shoulders.

“I enjoy designing.”

“Then why won’t you talk about it with me still? All I’ve ever wanted is to meet my hero and pick his brain and here he is right in front of me and we can’t even talk about what it is he does?” He stared up at me with his big, brown orbs that looked seconds away from bursting into tears. I sighed.

“I did attend kickboxing classes, back when I used to have the time.” I replied, finally giving in despite knowing how dangerous it was to do so. Ren looked at me, surprised. I continued. “Designing is something that fills a majority of my days, so it’s nice to get away from it once in a while and do or talk about something unrelated. These days my time is limited, so I don’t get to come around as often. But when I did, it really helped me.”

“Your time is limited, but you still made time for me?” Ren asked, sounding as if the idea itself were crazy or completely foreign to him. I nodded.

“If someone is important, you’ll make the time.” I replied. Ren paused for a moment before shifting his gaze down to his toes. When he finally looked back up at me, he had a small, forced smile on his lips as if he were trying to hide the emotional state of pain JR had dealt on him from which he was still recovering from.

“I’m important to you?”

“Of course you are. We’re friends, aren’t we?” I asked. Ren smiled again.

“Yes, we are.”

“Alright, Ren. Now I want you to use what I just taught you and I want you to come at me with all you’ve got and don’t hold back, ok? We’re here for you tonight. We’re here to get all of those pent up frustrations you’ve got building up inside of you. All of those people that you’re angry or mad at, channel it all towards me.”

Ren raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

I laughed. “Trust me, I’m sure I can handle it.” I replied then released his shoulders and stepped back. I held my blocking gloves up and got into position. Ren raised his right glove to the side of his face and then swung his left arm at me and towards my glove, hitting it with a surprising and questionable amount of strength. I furrowed my brows and looked at him. Where in the world had that come from? Ren drew his arm back into his chest briefly before swinging it again and off towards the side. I caught his attack and blocked it while forcefully being pushed back. Ren continued to swing faster and harder at me, somehow managing to corner me in the edge of the ring. He unleased several swings of fury at me, leaving me only able to hold my gloves in front of myself to shield his attacks which managed to shake me. Somewhere in the middle Ren’s attacks weakened and he became emotional again and started to cry. When he couldn’t swing anymore, I brought my left arm around him and pulled him into my chest again.

“This is it…” Ren whispered into my chest. I stared down at him as I waited for him to continue. “This is the last time I’m going to cry over him…” He replied. I pursed my lips together and remained silent, patting my hand against his back in a comforting motion. I knew that anything I could say wouldn’t be of any help to him anyways. This sort of pain was something that he had to heal himself from while sadly all I could do was continue to be there for him.

 

 

A couple of weeks later, as he had promised, Jason was finally released from the hospital. During the two weeks that led up to his dismissal, I had met Ren outside of work a couple more times, mostly giving him his space and time to sort things out on his own. The times we did meet had been arranged by myself. I had managed to book a tennis court and a baseball hitting range all to ourselves to avoid reporters, all of which were activities that Ren ended up enjoying and brought the two of us closer. But now that I had received word that Jason was back, I knew meeting with Ren would be more difficult, despite having gotten permission to date. Jason only saw Ren as another opportunity to hurt JR. And while JR had created a drift between us to the point where I simply just did not want to bother with him or care about him anymore, I didn’t want Ren to end up being used, even if we were dating, which we weren’t.

As previously arranged, I met with Jason back in his office back at JA Style. He had wanted to go over his project plans before greeting and making an announcement to the models which had all been gathered and were waiting in the practice room. When I entered his office and laid eyes on him, I noticed that he looked completely rejuvenated from the long break that he had taken. He was dressed in white t-shirt, black skinny jeans, a blue leather jacket and a black beanie over his red hair. His arms and ears were completely covered and decked out in silver jewelry. He smiled at me and instructed me to take a seat in front of his desk before he took a seat for himself behind it. He leaned forward on his elbows and rested his chin onto the backs of his hands.

“Well, well, well. Anything interesting go on while I was gone?” Jason asked with a morbid, interested look on his face. I calmly sat back into the chair, folding my arms across my chest unintimidated.

“Nothing worth mentioning.”

“That’s disappointing.” He sighed then sat back in his chair.

“Is it?” I asked.

“I’ve been bored out of my skull for weeks. You have no idea how much I was looking forward to returning to some juicy gossip. Well, on the plus side I did manage to get a lot of work done. The twerp and I have been working non-stop and just recently completed the construction and sewing process. The outfits are a 100% done, and with the original show already screwed up, thanks to you, the House of Kim x JA Style Collaboration fashion show has been slated for a new date at the end of this month.”

I paused. “Isn’t it supposed to be a spring line? It’s only December.” I replied then was met by the most patronizing look I had ever seen come across Jason’s face.

“Thank god no one else was around to hear that idiotic statement of yours.” He muttered.

“Excuse me?” I asked in disbelief.

“Designers showcase their spring lines the winter before, therefore giving ample enough time for potential buyers to make their decision beforehand when the line is finally available for purchase to the public. Why do I even bother with you?”

“Why do you?” I shot back. Jason glared at me.

“You know very well I can’t just get rid of you just yet. We’re in far too deep for that now.” He replied. It was just as I suspected: he needed me.

“Then the least you can do is respect me. After all, I’m the one being forced to carry out all of your dirty work.” I replied. Jason leaned forward into his desk.

“Respect works both ways, my dear. I’ll start respecting you the moment you start showing me some goddamn respect.” He said rather angrily then paused to recollect himself. “But until then, it appears we’re just going to have to live with it and tolerate each other.” He forced himself to say rather calmly.

“It appears so.” I replied then was met by a sour look from Jason.

“Anyways, about the lineup announcement that I never got around to giving you…” Jason replied, forcefully changing the subject by reminding me that he had asked for me to deliver the announcement while he had been in the hospital, only he had never given me any word of his decision. He suddenly cleared his throat. “I’ve given a lot of thought to what you told me that day.”

I stared at him. “Which was?”

“About bumping Aron up a spot. I saw him this morning training alone in the studio. I didn’t say anything. I just simply watched, and my… was I surprised.”

“Are you saying that you’re going to bump him up to Top Model then?” I asked. Jason scoffed.

“I’m saying that I will give him a chance through open auditions. Whether he makes the cut is all up to him.” Jason shadily replied, standing up. “Well then, shall we go out there and greet our models together?” He replied while staring down at me. I silently stared back up at him, finding his sudden change of heart strange. Without saying anything further I stood and followed him out from his office and into the practice room where all of the models had been gathered. Several of them were standing around and talking amongst themselves while others had broken off into smaller groups and were stretching. I glanced off to the corner of the room where Ren, through the help of Aron and Minhyun forcing him down, was trying to do the splits. When he seemed to reach the lowest point he could possibly stretch, he started hitting the ground with his fist, pleading for them to stop. The two models released him and shook their heads in annoyance while Ren collapsed onto his side and rolled onto his back, pouting. I continued to watch him as I made my way to the front of the room and stood beside Jason. Although it had been a while since I had last seen him, Ren seemed to be doing better. His body language seemed happier, not like the few times before I had met up with him where he had to practically drag himself to do much of anything. Maybe time really had helped heal his broken heart. Jason glanced in my direction and cleared his throat, instructing me to gather everyone’s attention.

“Models, attention forward.” I sternly replied. Everyone turned around and started to gather towards the front of the room. Ren turned with Minhyun and Aron and watched from the back corner. Jason smirked at everyone in front of us.

“First things first: surprise, I’m back, es~!” Jason replied and the two of us watched as Ren suddenly pushed and shoved his way to the front to get a better view. He smiled widely with joy as he spotted the redhead beside me.

“Welcome back, Jason!” Ren cheerfully replied in the room mostly filled with groans and silence. I glanced over at Jason who seemed to have a strange look on his face, almost as if he hadn’t been expecting for anyone to actually be glad that he was back. Jason forced a smile on his lips and uncomfortably nodded.

“Yes, well, why wouldn’t I be? It’s my studio. Anyways, Mr. Kim and I would like to fill you in with a progress report. Mr. Kim, would you?” Jason suddenly put me on the spot. I paused for a moment, not sure of what it was that I was supposed to say. I thought back to what Jason had told me during out brief meeting just minutes ago.

“Construction of the House of Kim x JA Style line has reached completion. The exhibition is slated for the end of the month.” I shortly said, keeping true to my Mr. Kim persona. Jason clapped his hands in effort to get the other models to join in an applause. Ren enthusiastically clapped his hands with him, followed by Minhyun and Aron who shortly joined in afterwards. The rest of the models followed suit and clapped with them. Jason finally stopped.

“That being said, I’m sure you’re all curious about who will be included in the top three positions, as am I. I’ve heard about signs of improvement in some of you while I was away. I’m curious to see that for myself before we make our final decision. Auditions will be held tomorrow and the final lineup will be announced in the evening.” Jason informed. Minhyun suddenly made his way to the front of the room.

“Auditions?” Minhyun asked, sounding confused. “The outfits were specifically tailored to each of us. The main outfit has already been given to the Top Model-”

Jason defensively folded his arms across his chest. “Mr. Kim and I have put a lot of pride into the top three outfits to the point where the main outfit could be interchangeable between top, first, and second lead.”

“So in other words this is really just an audition for the top three models then? AKA, Jason’s favorites?” One of the other models asked, followed by a room full of loud sighs of disappointment. Jason narrowed his eyes and was about to say something when I suddenly held my left hand up, putting an end to all of the noise and silencing the models.

“There will be no talking down on the designers.” I scolded them. Jason paused and looked at me in silence, perhaps surprised that I was standing up for him. “Every one of you possess the capability of joining the top three; it’s whether you act on those capabilities. If you are not already in the top three, you have no one to blame but yourselves.”

“Mr. Kim,” Jason sternly warned me before addressing the models himself. “Let me make myself clear: these auditions are open for everyone. While it is true the garments were tailored for each and every one of you, the designs are still very versatile. Any of the spots can be replaced.”

“Why are you suddenly changing everything now, making it harder on everyone else?” Minhyun asked, sounding irritated. “I knew you were crazy, but this is really too much, even from you. The show is at the end of the month; we should be practicing for it now, not rearranging cast members.”

“Mr. Hwang, do I need to repeat myself?” I darkly warned him. Minhyun glanced in my direction looking rather surprised. He furrowed his brows in annoyance.

“I believe I was talking to Jason and not you, Mr. Kim. Unless… this was all of your idea?” Minhyun asked accusingly. I furrowed my brows and gave him a strange look underneath my sunglasses before smirking, trying to hide my anger towards him.

“Correction, you’re talking to the both of us now. And I will not tolerate-”

“Enough!” Jason suddenly snapped then glared at me in silence before turning his attention back over towards Minhyun. “This show is going to be the highlight of my career. Mr. Kim is being generous enough by helping me achieve this feat. Together we will make any changes that we see fit in order to ensure that this showcase goes off without a hitch. Everyone in this room is a seasoned professional that I have faith in can make the necessary adjustments without much practice in the lineup if it were to change.”

Minhyun continued glaring at me. “I won’t accept it if the lineup changes.”

“Then do your best tomorrow, Mr. Hwang, and I’ll assure you’ll have nothing to worry about.” I replied, unfazed.

“Why do I always find you to be a suspicious character, Mr. Kim?” Minhyun scoffed before rudely turning away from me and taking his place at Ren’s side. It was then that I noticed that Ren had been watching me the entire time with a stunned look in his eyes. I tightly pursed my lips together and looked off to the side, trying to ignore the shame in myself I was internally experiencing. Jason suddenly stepped forward.

“Enough of this dreary atmosphere. I’m back. This should be a joyous occasion. In fact, let’s do this. Party, tonight, Club Seoul. Drinks are on me, of course.” Jason replied, trying to lift the mood of the room. Several of the other models cheered in excitement while Minhyun and Aron threw their heads back in dread. Minhyun pointed at Ren who hadn’t seemed to be paying attention to any of his surroundings.

“You are not drinking tonight. Absolutely not.” Minhyun replied. Ren suddenly glanced up after snapping out of his thoughts.

“Huh?”

“Whenever you drink, you destroy things. My apartment that you never went back to clean can attest to that.” Minhyun said as I continued to eavesdrop into their conversation from the side. His statement left me pondering. Had Ren recently spent the night at Minhyun’s apartment? When? Ren awkwardly shrugged his shoulders.

“I guess there’s some truth to that…” He guiltily replied.

“Some?” Aron suddenly laughed. “Spoken like a true alcoholic.”

“I’m not an alcoholic!” Ren protested.

“Then don’t drink tonight. Problem solved.” Aron replied. Ren pouted.

“But what if someone offers me a drink? I can’t not take it – it’ll be rude.” Ren craftily replied. Minhyun wagged his index finger at him.

“There’ll be none for you. Aron can drink it for you.” Minhyun offered and was met by a sour look from Aron.

“Excuse me? Do you know how much this guy can knock back? You expect me to drink all of his drinks and still be able to drive you back home? I don’t think so, man. I don’t have a death wish.” Aron muttered, folding his arms across his chest. Minhyun scowled, placing his hands on both of his hips.

“Fine. Then I’ll be the responsible one and drink all of them for you.” Minhyun finally replied. Ren gave him a surprised look.

“You will?” He asked, sounding somewhat disappointed in the fact that he wouldn’t be allowed to drink tonight. Minhyun nodded. Aron snickered.

“Oh man, Min is going to end up so wasted tonight.”

“Shut up!”

I was suddenly pulled away from the overhearing the conversation when Jason grabbed me by my right forearm and dragged me out of the practice room while no one was watching. He practically shoved me back into his office where he carefully shut and locked the door behind him before turning around and angrily pointing his index finger at me. “You need to be more careful. That was completely un-Mr. Kim-like behavior.” He warned.

“What was I supposed to do?”

“Nothing!” Jason snapped at me. “You let me handle it. It is not your responsibility to allow yourself to get caught up in whatever mess they throw at you.”

“Then what is my responsibility?!”

“Just play your part! You’re becoming too obvious that you know nothing about this industry that even pretty boneheads like Minhyun are catching on! I’m starting to believe that giving you some freedom has been a big mistake. The less you are seen, the better.”

“Is it my fault that I don’t know anything other than what was written in JR’s manuals? I was nothing before accepting this position.” I shot back.

“And if you don’t be more careful, you can easily return to that.” Jason angrily threatened. “It’s already been months since you’ve been in a designer’s shoes. If you’re frustrated and you don’t know what to do, then you’re doing your job! The life of a designer is all about being frustrated and not knowing what to do next! I’m the last person that needs to tell you this, but act with some ing class! Stop picking fights with the models – they’re the ones that represent you. Even if they’re being arrogant little pricks, your job is to simply keep them in line and move along because you’ve got several more important things that need your attention. Do I make myself clear, Mr. Kim?”

I remained silent.

“Do I make myself clear?!” Jason suddenly screamed at me. I finally glanced back up at him.

“Clear as day.” I muttered underneath my breath then brushed my shoulder against his as I walked past him, headed towards the door to his office behind him. As I was about to pull it open he stopped me.

“We only have till the end of this month to get to the fashion show after which I don’t care what you do anymore. Once my company surpasses House of Kim, Mr. Kim will disappear off the face of the earth. Until then, I need for you to keep yourself together.” Jason replied, answering an old question I had once asked him before which he wasn’t able to give me an immediate answer to back in the past. I was somewhat startled. So my original guess about what would happen to Mr. Kim was true then. Because JR wasn’t willing to fight to take his company back, that meant that House of Kim was doomed to fail while JA Style shot up to success, taking its place in the market. Without House of Kim, there was no need to have a Mr. Kim running around. But disappear? What had he meant by that?

“Tell me… you already have the top three lineup decided for yourself, don’t you?” I accusingly asked while glancing back at him over my left shoulder. Jason continued to face away from me.

“… Of course not.”

“You’re so full of bull, I don’t ever know what to believe anymore.”

“Then don’t. You have no part in this decision anyways.” Jason coldly replied. He really could care less about what I thought about him.

“Yeah,” I dryly laughed. “ me, huh?” I rolled my eyes then turned the handle, pulling the door open.

“I still expect to see you tonight.” Jason replied. I was so angry I couldn’t even answer him. Every time I believed Jason couldn’t sink to a new low, he continued to baffle me. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t take being talked down to and bossed around anymore. After signing that contract, my whole life had been put in his hands. I was his to do with whatever he pleased until he was ready to throw me away once the collaboration fashion show ended. My contract, which had no expiration date, was written to end whenever the need for a Mr. Kim surceases. But even then, the language was ambiguous. How was he expecting for Mr. Kim to just disappear? Just what was he planning on doing with me once all of this was over? He had said that he couldn’t get rid of me because we were already in too deep. I had misunderstood – it wasn’t that he couldn’t get rid of me, it was that he wouldn’t. At least not yet. It was evident now more than ever that I needed to start finding my way out of this mess. I silently left his office, slamming the door shut behind me. I climbed down the staircase to the first floor and left, quietly fuming.

 

 

Later that night I arrived at Club Seoul about an hour late wearing a deep cut white t-shirt underneath a black leather jacket with black skinny jeans and white sneakers. My left wrist was decked out in silver bracelets from CHROME HEARTS and I wore several small silver loops on my left ear and a single black stud earring on my right. As I entered I immediately spotted Jason and his models sitting off to the side in several reserved booths, seeing as one definitely wouldn’t have been enough to fit everyone that he had invited. Jason himself was sitting back in one of the tables, seated at the far edge and simply just relaxing while he drank. Everyone around him was laughing, drinking, and already having a good time. As I started making my way towards Jason’s table, I spotted Ren running out from the crowd on the dance floor, carrying a selfie-stick with him. He ran up to Minhyun and Aron who were seated at the booth behind Jason’s and crowded them, urging them to take a picture with him. Aron immediately struck a cute pose with a peace sign while Minhyun scowled and Ren took the picture. After Ren finished, he turned around and paused as he spotted me standing behind him. For a brief second he stared at me before his eyes grew wide with excitement. He waved his hand at me, motioning for me to move in closer to him so that we could take a picture. I glanced down at Jason, wondering if it was ok for me to do so. Jason simply nodded without saying anything and then turned his attention elsewhere. I stepped in closer to Ren in front of the selfie-stick and threw my right arm over his shoulders, giving the camera a relaxed backwards v-sign. Apparently not thinking much of it, Ren snapped the picture then slightly bowed, thanking me before sliding out from underneath my arm and stepping in front of Jason. For a second I was a bit taken aback by how casually Ren had approached me, despite those several personal moments I had helped him through. Was I really nothing more than a friend to him…?

“Come on!” Ren said, urging for Jason to turn his body in his direction. Jason paused for a moment, a bit stunned that Ren had wanted to take a picture with him. Jason pointed at himself.

“Me?” Jason asked just to clarify. Ren enthusiastically nodded.

“Yeah! Come on, you’re not that drunk not to understand! I want a picture with all of my friends!” Ren replied. Jason stared at him shortly before finally turning around on the edge of his seat to face the camera with a small, uncomfortable smile on his lips. Ren remained standing and knelt over Jason before quickly taking the picture. Once he had taken it, he stood back up straight. “Thanks!” Ren replied before running back off and disappearing into the crowd on the dance floor. I watched Aron and a worn out Minhyun rise from their seats and rush after him. I glanced down at Jason once they were gone. He seemed to have a rather distraught look on his face. I rested my left hand on my hip.

“It looks like he considers you a friend.” I said to him, snapping Jason out from his thoughts. He stood up and motioned for me to follow him over towards the bar where we both stood and waited for the bartender’s attention.

“You’re late.” He replied, forcibly changing the subject. By the way he was carrying himself I could tell that Jason was feeling a bit guilty after that last encounter with Ren, whose career he was secretly using as blackmail against JR.

“You’d really expect for Mr. Kim to be early?” I casually responded, making Jason pause before letting out a laugh and smirking.

“Good for you. You’re taking your job seriously.”

“There was never a time that I wasn’t.” I replied then watched as the bartender finally approached us and Jason ordered the both of us a drink. “Do you ever feel regretful towards him?”

Jason paused. “Towards who? JR?” He asked, focusing his attention of watching what the bartender was doing in front of us rather than looking directly at me.

“Ren.”

Jason forced a smile on his lips. “I never regret anything.” He replied, clearly lying. Although I hadn’t even mentioned who it was, Jason was the first to draw a name. If he didn’t feel regretful towards Ren, he surely felt something towards all that he had done to JR. After all, wasn’t that the reason why he had developed an ulcer and had been hospitalized? But even then I didn’t fully believe that he didn’t feel guilty towards Ren. He was clearly surprised that Ren had wanted to take a picture with him. Why would he be surprised if he didn’t feel horrible about hanging Ren’s career over someone else’s head?

“You sure about that?” I questioned him right as the drinks arrived. Jason took his glass and turned around without glancing at me.

“Don’t get drunk. You’re still on the clock.” He said then walked away, leaving me on my own. I glanced down at the drink and then back up at the bartender then nodded thanks towards him before carrying it onto the dance floor with me. I found Ren standing around with Aron, a very haggard looking Minhyun who was struggling to stand up straight, and a few other models that were in front of them, each holding a drink in their hands and holding it out towards Ren. I stopped beside Aron.

“What’s going on over here?” I asked him. Aron glanced up at me.

“A few of the other models overheard our conversation earlier about Min taking one for the team whenever someone offers Ren a drink and apparently made a game out of it. And well… see for yourself.” Aron replied. I glanced over at Minhyun who was holding onto Ren’s right shoulder with one hand and knocking back a drink with the other, completely downing it. When he finished he staggered forward, almost losing his balance but gripping Ren before he did. One of the other models took the empty glass from him while a second handed him another. When Minhyun reached for it, he missed. The models laughed at him before taking his hand and putting it inside of his palm. It was then when I suddenly realized that although Minhyun was Jason’s Top Model, he wasn’t popular amongst his model peers. Minhyun drunkenly stared at the glass and then sighed.

“I’m going to throw up…” He whined. It was my first time ever seeing him behave like this. Ren took the drink from Minhyun.

“Guys, please, he’s had enough…” Ren pleaded for them to stop. They laughed at him.

“He’s the one that made the promise to drink them. At least he’s being a sport about it.” The taunted Ren. I pursed my lips together. Despite having my differences with Minhyun, I didn’t like the way they were harassing the both them. I stepped forward.

“This game ends now. Minhyun, go sit down. Aron, you go with him. Ren, come with me.” I instructed. Aron nodded then reached over for Minhyun’s arm, who yanked it out from Aron’s grasp and shrieked at him.

“I can do it myself!” Minhyun replied before drunkenly wandering off with Aron chasing after him. Once it was just the two of us, I felt Ren staring up at me with curious eyes, waiting for whatever it was that I had to say to him. I pulled him off to the side of the bar with me and leaned against it.

“You wanted to speak with me?” Ren asked. I paused and stared at him, studying him.

“Are you mad at me?” A look of shock spread across Ren’s face as I asked this.

“Mad? No, why would I be?”

“I really haven’t heard much from you these past couple of weeks other than the times we hung out. Did I do something wrong?” I worriedly asked. Ren furrowed his brows in confusion.

“No? If you did, why would I have asked you to take a selfie with me?” He replied, still staring at me strangely. “Ah, sorry. You know I’ve been going through some things lately. I had no idea how much I was letting it affect the people around me. I apologize. It’s not you. You’re perfect – I mean, wow, that came out wrong. I should probably stop talking now, huh?” He had to stop himself from rambling. I smiled at him.

“No, it’s ok. I get it. How are you doing now?” I asked him. Ren paused for a second before forcing a smile on his lips.

“I’m getting there, but I’m in a better place these days.” He replied.

“That’s good to hear.”

“You really helped take my mind off of things… that’s why it surprised me and I’m sorry that I made you think I was upset or avoiding you lately. I was just trying to deal with things on my own like an adult. Besides, I knew how busy you must be.”

“I already told you before that I’d make time for you no matter how busy I am.” I replied. Ren nodded then smiled.

“I know. That’s why I didn’t call or text you. Because I know that you probably would. I didn’t want to get in the way of you completing your clothes.” He selflessly replied before shifting his gaze down to his toes. “It’s different from not having time and still making the time versus not having time and not being willing to make the time…” His voice sadly trailed off.

“You heard my announcement earlier; everything has been completed.” I reassured him. Ren’s face suddenly lit up and he glanced up at me.

“That’s right!” He sheepishly began to sway from left to right. “That means I don’t have to worry about distracting you.”

“You’re a welcome distraction.” I smiled back at him. Ren grinned.

“You’re seriously the best.” Ren replied before the both of us were suddenly distracted by the sight of a drunken Minhyun running past us and through the crowd, followed shortly by Aron chasing after him. The two stopped when Minhyun hit a dead end at a wall, which he spread both of his arms wide and embraced it.

“Minhyun, let go of that wall and go sit down!” Aron scolded.

“NO!”

“Minhyun, get down!”

“I can’t!”

“Of course you can! Why can’t you?”

“If I let go, I’ll float away~!” Minhyun replied. Both Ren and I had to turn our heads away as we broke off into fits of laughter at the ridiculousness of the situation Aron now found himself in. Aron walked up to him and pulled his arms down off the wall.

“You’re not going to float away.”

“How are you so sure?” Minhyun asked, sounding genuinely scared that he might just float off somewhere.

“Because I’m going to be your anchor.” Aron cheesily replied. Ren and I both made faces of disgust before laughing again while watching Aron drag Minhyun back towards the booths. I turned to face Ren, asking him if we should head back with them. He nodded then followed me as I tore through the crowd and joined Jason back at his booth with Aron and Minhyun. Right as we were about to take a seat, Minhyun drunkenly stood up and stomped forward, declaring that he was going to go to the bathroom. Aron rolled his eyes but remained seated as Minhyun swayed through a sea of bodies while trying to find the bathroom. Once it was just the four of us at the able, Aron turned to Ren. “I hate you.”

“I’m sorry?” Ren apologized for having Minhyun drink so much. “I thought you were looking forward to seeing Minhyun get wasted…”

“Yeah, but it’s been a while since child-Minhyun’s appeared.” Aron replied, garnering several curious looks. Aron sighed. “You see, he’s got these levels of drunkenness. First he’s angry drunk, then he’s funny drunk. He usually doesn’t go past the second level, after which is child drunk.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.” Ren replied. Aron shook his head.

“There’s a fourth level.”

“A fourth level?” Ren asked. Aron darkly grinned.

“You wanna find out what it is?”

“I’m suddenly scared…” Ren replied. Both Jason and I nodded in agreement with him. Minhyun suddenly came stumbling back and sat down.

“Can we gooooo~~~?” Minhyun threw his head back in his seat. “We’ve been here forever~!” He whined. Aron suddenly covered his face with his hand out of shame.

“Min, you’re at the wrong table, man.” Aron replied. Minhyun blinked then looked around him before noticing that he was sitting at the next table over instead of at our booth. He slowly stood back up and stumbled several feet forward before throwing himself into the open seat next to me, leaning against my right shoulder. I uncomfortably cleared my throat, trying to scoot away from him and moving in closer to Ren. Minhyun rolled his head to the side on my shoulder and looked up at me. I tried to ignore him. When I refused to look at him, Minhyun brought his right hand up and began tapping the side of my face.

“Hey…. Hey!” Minhyun replied, trying to get my attention. I removed my sunglasses and glared down at him in annoyance.

“What?”

“I just wanted to let you know… I think you’re handsome…” Minhyun drunkenly replied.

“Excuse me???” I asked, feeling both confused and very uncomfortable. Aron grinned at the two of us.

“Level four: complimenting-drunk. He’s actually nicer the more hammered he gets.” Aron replied. Jason folded his arms across his chest.

“I’ll have to remember that one in the future.” Jason said. I couldn’t tell if he was actually being serious or not. I nodded in response then brushed him off me. Minhyun sat up straight and stared blankly down at the table before murmuring something.

“Ineedtot-”

I furrowed my brows. “What?”

“I said… Ineedtothrowup…” He repeated himself before suddenly grabbing onto my right shoulder with his left hand and leaning forward between my legs, throwing up on the floor underneath the table. I sat in horrified silence while both Ren and Aron stared at me with wide eyes. I couldn’t move until he was finished. Even when he had, I wasn’t sure if it was wise to move, not wanting to risk stepping into the hazard he had quite literally trapped me in just now. Jason shook his head in annoyance before glancing over at Aron.

“Take him home.” He ordered before sliding out from the booth to allow Aron room to climb out. Aron nodded then hurried out. He grabbed Minhyun by his right arm and pulled him off me. Minhyun didn’t protest and allowed for Aron to help him up and out from the table. Before leaving, Aron apologetically bowed.

“I’ll apologize in his place. This rarely ever happens. He was just trying to help a friend out. You understand, right?” He nervously asked. I stared up at him from my seat and pursed my lips together. It was true I didn’t much care for Minhyun, but even I was a rational person and could see that Aron was right. I simply nodded in silence, still somewhat disgusted by the situation. Aron thanked me before carrying Minhyun off and leaving the club together. I cautiously climbed out of the booth, careful not to touch the mess Minhyun had left. Ren crawled on all fours on top of the bench cushion then climbed out after me.

“I’m going to get going.” I announced. Ren nodded.

“I’ll walk you out.” He replied then followed me outside of the club where we both stood around for several seconds in silence before I finally turned to him.

“About that picture-” I awkwardly cut myself off. Ren blinked a couple of times before remembering the selfie we had taken together. He smiled.

“Ah! Do you want me to send it to you?” He cheerfully asked, pulling out his phone still attached to the selfie stick in his pocket. He turned it on then started scrolling through it. A few seconds later my phone vibrated and I pulled it out to see that Ren had sent me the picture as he said he would. As I opened the attachment a small smile spread across my lips when I saw the two of us together. I glanced up at Ren from my phone.

“Thanks.”

“No problem!” Ren smiled, still staring down at the picture of us on his own phone. “I’m going to cherish this picture forever!” He happily exclaimed, making me pause. My face suddenly felt red. I quickly reached for my sunglasses in my jacket pocket and awkwardly put them on, trying to hide my blush. I nervously glanced off to the side and cleared my throat to get his attention. When he finally looked up at me I spoke up.

“Why is that?” I asked. Ren nervously laughed.

“To be honest, I’ve been trying to cleverly think of a way to take a picture of the two of us together without making it seem too awkward.”

“You have?” I asked, somewhat stunned. Ren slowly nodded. “Why?”

“Why can’t I have pictures with my friends? I have one with everyone except you – well, now I do! And besides, I want to rub this in my older brother’s face!” Ren explained.

“Your brother? Why?”

“Pfft. He’s such a pill. He doesn’t believe that I’m actually going to model for House of Kim or that I even know you.”

I blinked. “Did he not see the articles of our supposed ‘scandal’?” I asked, shocked. Ren laughed.

“My hyung is really an old man at heart. He teaches at the university during the day and then probably sits around at home watching paint dry for the remainder of it so it’s not a surprise that he doesn’t keep up with today’s media and pop culture. The only reason why he even knows about House of Kim is because I used to talk his ear off about it back when we both lived at home with our parents.” He joked.

“This is probably the most I’ve heard you speak about him other than mentioning that he was a part of the swimming team back in high school. You don’t seem to mention him too much.”

Ren uncomfortably looked down. “Minseok lives a life of his own, separated from the rest of us. Aside from always being so busy, I really haven’t spoken much to him since I had that accident several years ago… But through the encouragement of my mom, I’ve recently started speaking with him again. Baby steps, I guess.” He slowly replied as if this was a topic that was difficult for him to talk about.

“I see…” I replied, feeling somewhat guilty for bringing the subject up. “Do you want to take a better one to show him?” I suddenly asked. Ren glanced up at me with a surprised look on his face before smiling and energetically nodding. I removed my sunglasses as he switched his phone to the camera app, holding it up in front of us on his selfie stick. I leaned in closer to him, pressing the side of my face against his. Surprisingly Ren didn’t pull back and instead even leaned in closer to me. The both of us smiled and he took the picture. We stared down at the result afterwards. Ren appeared bright and cheerful standing next to me – definitely an improvement from the last time I had seen him – while I had been smiling so widely that my eyes seemed to disappear into two crescent moons. I laughed at myself for looking so lame. “Ah, that one’s not any better. Delete, delete!” I urged him. Ren defensively pulled the phone away from me.

“I’m keeping it!” He declared.

“Seriously?”

Ren nodded. “I like it because it shows the true side of you, the one that only I seem to really know. Not the side of you that you’re expected to portray to the world…” He replied. I immediately thought back to earlier back when we were at Jason’s studio where I was coming down hard on Minhyun in front of him and all of the other models. I remembered that uncomfortable look on Ren’s face the entire time. My smile slowly dissipated.

“If you’re talking about earlier-”

Ren nervously laughed. “Heyyy… You don’t need to explain to me. I’m just some model. And you were just doing your job, right?”

“… Yes. I suppose you’re right.” I said, feeling down.

“I get it. I just really wish that someday you’ll get to show the world the real you and that you’ll find happiness.” Ren optimistically replied. I glanced up and shortly smiled at him.

“That’s a nice thing to say.” I replied then watched as Ren suddenly froze before sheepishly glancing up at me.

“Baekho… can I ask you a question?” He cautiously asked. I stared at him. What could he possibly have to ask me that made him appear so suddenly nervous? I nodded.

“Go ahead.”

“I know you don’t exactly get along with Minhyun, but…” His voice trailed off and he tilted his head to the side, seeming unsure. “You wouldn’t… ever hold that against him, would you? I’m sorry, that’s an improper question of me to ask…”

I furrowed my brows. “That would be very unprofessional of me to do so.”

“Right? I thought so!” Ren quickly reacted.

“Hmm?” I asked, wondering what he had meant by that. Ren shook his head.

“It’s nothing! Anyways, I’m taking up all of your time. I’ll see you tomorrow at the auditions! I’m going to make sure I bring nothing but my A-game!” Ren declared. I smiled at him and nodded, loving how determined he seemed. The both of us said our goodbyes and I left Ren standing at the front of the club as I made my way back to my car. When I climbed back inside I sat for a while, wondering about what Ren’s strange question could have meant. Although I had accidentally let it slip towards Minhyun that I wished that he was out of the show, I wouldn’t actually take him out. I didn’t have the power to – only Jason had that power. But no one else knew this. And besides, if Minhyun were removed from the show, it would probably be his own doing, not mine. Ren’s question made me start to wonder if my actions really were too transparent and that was the reason why Jason had yelled at me earlier. I pursed my lips together. I needed to be more careful, at least until Jason no longer needed me around. And even then I still had to be weary because who knew what Jason might try to pull just to get rid of me when that time came.

 

 

The next morning I met with Jason and the rest of his models inside of the practice room where auditions were to take place. Together he and I watched model after model strut down the entire length of the room with hopes and aspirations of making it to the final lineup. Only about a handful of models that weren’t in the top three had even bothered auditioning, leaving me to assume that the rest had zero hopes of even making it. Since I still had no idea how auditions were usually run in JA Style, I assumed that they did when one of his models had made a comment yesterday that Jason had his ‘favorites.’ If Jason did have favorites, which wouldn’t be shocking, then I bet the lineup hardly ever changed, which probably dashed the hopes of his other models on a constant basis. Towards the end, his top three finally auditioned. Minhyun confidently went first, gracefully walking the length of the room before turning and walking back. Aron walked next with an air of relaxed confidence around him in each stride he took like a natural, followed lastly by Ren who swung each of his long legs out in front of him and walked coolly towards us before pausing at the end of the room and swiftly turning and walking back. I glanced over at Jason who was standing with his arms folded across his chest, appearing to be deep in thought. Finally he unfolded his arms and clapped his hands, starting a round of applause inside of the room.

“Good job to those of you that auditioned.” He said before turning and glancing at me briefly before looking back at his models. “Mr. Kim and I will now disappear to discuss the results. Everyone just be patient and wait around for us.” Jason replied then shortly exited the room. I quietly followed him into his office where he shut and locked the door behind us. He motioned for me to take a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk while he sat down behind it. Once the two of us were seated, Jason boredly leaned back into his chair.

“Like I assumed yesterday, you probably already have your lineup pre-arranged and now you’re just wasting everybody’s time with this audition and making us sit here like this.” I said. Jason smirked.

“Well, we’re all free to make our own assumptions, aren’t we?”

I scoffed. “So much for giving everyone a fair chance.”

“I did give everyone a fair chance. Look, yesterday morning when I saw Aron practicing alone in the training room, I already had my mind set on bumping him up.”

“You mean…” I paused. “You’re making Aron your next Top Model?” I asked, feeling somewhat dumbfounded. Yesterday when he had said that he was going to give Aron a chance, I never believed that he actually would. And it wasn’t that Aron wasn’t a good model or didn’t have what it took, but because Jason seemed to hold his own negative thoughts towards him – he was too old, or too short compared to most models – it didn’t matter because he always seemed to have an excuse for everything. Jason nodded.

“You saw that swag of his. It’s exactly what we need for this specific line. Think about it – this is the first time House of Kim, a business-casual designer wear brand, is showcasing a line with my punk-rock and hip hop style influence. Aron’s got ‘it.’ It’s a much needed lineup change to ensure an optimal successful show.”

“Are you sure this would be for the best?” I asked, sounding unsure. “I mean, the thought of bumping up Aron never even seemed to cross your mind until I said something about it…” It just sounded so suspicious, so different from what he had told me about Aron back at the hospital.

“Ideally I would have liked for Ren to become the face of the line, but Aron has the experience, looks, and mannerisms suited for the collaboration.”

I paused. “Wait a minute… are you telling me that if it weren’t for his lack of previous experience, Ren could have received the Top Model position for the House of Kim x JA Style collaboration?” I asked. Jason nodded.

“Unfortunately. That damn inexperience of his. If only someone else in the industry had picked him up before I had… but then again, he wouldn’t be as strong a weapon that he is now for me. He received so many lovecalls from designers and agencies all around the world that were in attendance at my last show. He’s a hot item that everyone was blind to at first and nobody wanted. But I have an eye for talent. That’s why he’ll continue to stay second lead – for the experience. Soon enough I’ll be able to use him for Top Model. Until then, I believe Aron would do just as well.”

“If he’s your second choice then you don’t really believe in him.” I replied. Jason shook his head.

“Months ago I was ready to kick him out because of his laziness before I threatened him. To be honest, losing him really wasn’t something that I wanted to do because when he actually puts his heart into it, he’s a good model. But if he was going to be careless, I didn’t need him messing up my shows. This is a business – there’s no hard feelings in business. When an employee , you get rid of them. When he promised me he would step up his performance, I simply thought that he would do the bare minimal just to stay around. That’s why I was surprised to see him up here alone yesterday before everyone else arrived, practicing. And from what I’ve seen yesterday and today, I think it’s finally time to put that talent he’s been harboring to good use.” Jason explained. I stared at him. So it wasn’t that he was planning something after all like I suspected he was doing, but he was actually intent on using Aron because he thought that he would do a good job.

“I can’t believe that I’m actually saying this, but you actually make me want to believe in what you’re saying… I don’t know as much as you do, but I have eyes, and I noticed that he’s improved. I’m just surprised that you noticed it too.”

Jason scoffed. “Why wouldn’t I? I’m a professional, am I not?”

“You clearly have your favorites.”

“Pfft. Please. I only have ‘a’ favorite, and that person is Ren. But clearly you don’t see me irrationally bumping him up to Top Model only having a few months of experience in the industry, now do you?” Jason bluntly explained it to me, seemingly taking some offense to my comment. For a second I was actually stunned after hearing that Ren was his ‘favorite.’ If Ren was so important to his line, then why was he willing to hold the future of Ren’s career over his head because of the personal spat between him and JR? Did he really dislike JR that much that he would sacrifice his powerful ‘weapon’ in the industry just to hurt him? This really was starting to say a lot about his complicated character.

“Minhyun and Aron aren’t your favorites?”

“Don’t make me laugh. They’re in the top three for a reason: they’re the best. You probably already know I hate their guts as much as they hate mine.”

“You really are a professional, huh?” I said somewhat sarcastically. Jason eyed me, probably not liking the way I said my last comment. He leaned forward and grabbed a pen from the corner of his desk with a legal pad and started loudly scribbling down on it before sitting back and ripping the paper from the stack. He handed it to me. Written down were the list of names that he had decided on including in the lineup. I stared down at them and then back up at him. “You’re sure about this?”

“As sure as I ever will be. Let’s go announce it, shall we, Mr. Kim?” Jason asked with a smirk on his lips as he stood up from his chair and walked over to his office door, unlocking and holding it open for me. I slowly stood up, preparing myself to be the deliverer of bad news. I stepped out of his office and into the practice room first with Jason following closely behind. The noisy room came to almost a deafening silence as soon as everyone took notice of my presence. I held the paper Jason had given me out in front of me.

“The final lineup of the top three models will consist as follows. Second lead, Choi, Ren; first lead, Hwang, Minhyun; Top Model, Kwak, Aron. Thank you to all who participated. Your hard work did not go by unacknowledged.” I shortly replied. There was about a full minute of silence in the room after I had made the announcement. Several of the models were looking around the room with confused looks on their faces while searching for Minhyun, who was sitting in the back right corner of the room with Aron and Ren. All three of them were sitting around in a triangle, motionless like frozen statues. Ren was carefully gauging Minhyun’s reaction while Aron stared into the ground in stunned silence as if he thought he might have misheard. I noticed Ren briefly tear his gaze away from Minhyun and glance at me from across the room before awkwardly turning his attention towards Aron, forcing a smile on his face.

“Heyyy, congratulations, Aron. You did it. You won Minhyun’s bet!” Ren tried to mend the broken situation. Aron slowly glanced up from the ground and cautiously glanced up at Minhyun, checking to see if he was alright. The two shared a strange look before Minhyun also slowly forced a smile on his lips and hesitantly nodded.

“… You finally did it. Congratulations…” Minhyun awkwardly congratulated him. Aron skittishly nodded, almost as if unsure of himself or if accepting his new position was the right thing to do. Jason clapped his hands together.

“Yes, congratulations, models. Everyone is dismissed. You all did great!” Jason tried to lighten up the tense atmosphere. One by one the models started pouring out from the practice room, leaving only the five of us. Jason patted me on my shoulder. “We’ll be in touch, Mr. Kim.” He said before leaving shortly afterwards. Aron slowly stood up and quickly marched out of the room with his head held down, refusing to look up as he passed me. Ren stood up and latched onto Minhyun’s left arm, helping pull him up to his feet. Once he was up, Minhyun looked over and glared at me. He shook his arm out of Ren’s grasp and immediately approached me.

“I thought you could put personal differences aside. It looks like you couldn’t.” Minhyun accusingly stated towards me. I stared back at him.

“Is that what you think?” I calmly asked, unfazed. Ren came running up to us. He tugged on Minhyun’s sleeve.

“Minhyun, stop, please… Mr. Kim wouldn’t possibly do such a thing, right?” Ren asked, desperately glancing up at me. Minhyun once again shook him off.

“All because of a few disagreements and what happened last night…” Minhyun scoffed. “You are so irresponsible and unprofessional. You’re the most unprofessional designer I’ve ever met!” He snapped at me.

“Hwang, Minhyun.” I warned.

“The jokes on you, Mr. Kim. I will make sure Aron succeeds! I will make sure he reaches his full potential as Top Model! You’ll see.” Minhyun angrily replied before storming out of the practice room, leaving just me and Ren who didn’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon. Ren sullenly looked up at me with his large brown eyes.

“It’s not what it looks like… is it?” Ren carefully asked. I paused for a moment, somewhat stunned that he would even ask that, especially after the conversation we had last night. I had been right that he had been worried that Minhyun might be knocked down because he knew that we didn’t get along. But was it really necessary for him to ask me like this? I couldn’t hide my disappointment in him. I pursed my lips together and turned my face away from him.

“I thought you knew me a little bit better than that, Ren.” I said before quietly leaving the room without saying anything more to him. As I climbed down the stairs to the first level of the studio I noticed that there weren’t any footsteps following me. Ren wasn’t chasing after me. With a heavy heart I continued into Jason’s shop then left. I walked down the side of the street until I reached the parking garage where I then climbed and sat in my car for a few minutes with my head back against the headrest. I blankly stared into the dashboard, feeling somewhat dejected after that whole ordeal. It felt crummy to be accused of something that I hadn’t done and to be so heavily misunderstood. What was worse was that I just had to stand there and take it while Minhyun had called me all of those words like ‘irresponsible’ and ‘unprofessional.’ It was true that I might have been acting unprofessional lately, but never in my life had I ever been irresponsible. That hadn’t been the way my parents had raised me up until their passing. And then there was the matter of Ren also misunderstanding me also. I heavily sighed. Kang, Baekho… just what did you get yourself into this time?

 

 

When I returned home later that night I went straight to my bedroom and collapsed on my bed face forward. I hadn’t even eaten today but I wasn’t hungry. I just wanted to be alone to think. I mentally laughed; like that would be hard. I felt conflicted over today’s events. Although Aron being selected as the new Top Model should have been good news, it felt like the opposite. Aron himself seemed uncomfortable with it, not to mention Minhyun who was angry at me because he thought that I was the one behind the switch when I wasn’t. And then there was Ren, who was caught in the middle of this whole mess without even knowing. It was scary just thinking about how Jason was ready to toss Ren, his supposed favorite secret weapon that was going to bring JA Style so much future success, to the curb. It was scary because it forced me to remember how easy it was for him to destroy someone else’s life, a prime example being JR, someone who was good friends with him for years. Jason was ruthless. He was as crafty as he was unpredictable. One second he was able to make me believe he had a conscience and the next he was proving me wrong.

I buried my face into my pillow. There’s gotta be a way out of this. Letting Jason control my every move was no way to live, nor was waiting around for this contract to expire or for him to ‘get rid of me.’ I had already made my mind up – whatever Jason was planning to do with Mr. Kim when all of this was over, I was going to do the opposite, even at the risk of being fined or possibly even going to jail. They weren’t consequences that I wasn’t prepared for. I had risked everything when I went to JR offering to turn myself in and put an end to Jason’s tyranny. But he had refused. Why would he though? I couldn’t believe JR was being so passive about everything… Unless… he had a plan? I thought back to when he mentioned that he was a firm believer in karma. If JR wasn’t planning something, did that mean he knew somebody who was?

I pulled my head back from out of the bed when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I reached down and removed it, turning it on to see a message from Ren. It was an emoji of a cat with tearful eyes, followed by another message:

‘Don’t be mad at me…’

I paused for a moment before pursing my lips together and replying. ‘Are you sure your message is meant for me this time?’ I . I knew it was somewhat morbid of me, but I was intent on messing with him after what had happened today. And besides, he deserved it. He had obviously known that he had upset me.

‘Don’t be like that…’

‘Then who am I?’

‘Baekho~’ He shortly replied. I smiled.

‘What?’ I coldly responded.

‘Are you really mad at me?’ Ren asked.

‘Possibly.’ I replied, playing hard to get.

‘Don’t be mad at me… It was a mistake.’

‘Okay.’

‘Baekho~’ He cutely whined. I rolled onto my back on the bed with a big grin on my face.

‘Why? Are you going to make it up to me?’

‘Are you hungry?’ Ren asked. I laughed.

‘Why is it always about food with you?’ I .

‘Can I come over?’ Ren suddenly asked. I froze, almost dropping the phone out of my hands and onto my face. I furrowed my brows then glanced up at the time in the right hand corner of the screen. It was already close to 8 PM, starting to get very late. My heart started to race inside of my chest. I quickly sat up in bed, placing my left hand over my heart to calm it as I continued to stare at Ren’s last text. Surely I was reading too much into this and overreacting… After all, Ren was still getting over JR. He probably just wanted to bring me snacks or something, having already mentioned something about food. But still, a small part of me had hope that he genuinely wanted to see me and the food was just an excuse. I tapped the phone icon beside his name on the screen and opted to call him instead of wasting time texting. Ren picked up rather quickly, sounding surprised.

“Do you really want to?” I coolly asked him despite the fact that on the inside I was anything but.

“Yeah. I mean, if it’s not too late or inconvenient. I just figured that the reporters would be gone by now, so it would be safe to come and see you.”

“It’s not.” I shortly replied.

“Ah, good! I’ll be over soon.” He said, sounding relieved.

“Do you need for me to pick you up?” I asked, remembering that he didn’t drive and always took the bus everywhere he went.

“No need. I’ll take a taxi. Just let the guard know I’m coming.” He replied then promptly hung up. I scrambled out of bed and stood in front of my mirror across the room, waving my fingers through my hair. I looked around my room and gathered all of my clothes that I had messily tossed around on the floor in a panic, shoving them into my closet and hiding them. I mean, I was probably being over ambitious by thinking that Ren would somehow see the inside of my bedroom tonight, but on that rare chance I didn’t want him to see that designer ‘Kim Baekho’ was a slob. After finishing cleaning up, I ventured out into the rest of the house to pick it up before he arrived about thirty minutes later. When I opened the door, I found him standing in front of me carrying a plastic convenience store bag in each hand. He smiled widely at me. I stared down at the bags and then back up at him. It was as I predicted… Although I was a little bit bummed, I smiled back at him.

“Come in.” I said, stepping to the side. Ren walked in, slipped out of his shoes and entered the living room on his own. As I joined him moments later he was placing the plastic bags down on my coffee table and sorting through them.

“I brought you all kinds of stuff!” He happily exclaimed. I stopped beside him.

“You know you really don’t have to bribe me. I’m not that mad.” I replied. Ren froze before turning his head to the right and glancing up at me.

“… Are you serious? I bought all this food and now it’s a waste~!” He pouted, making me smile. I knelt down and reached into one of the bags, grabbing whatever it was my hand happened to graze. I took a bag of chips in my hands and opened it, popping one into my mouth.

“See? Not a waste now.” I reassured him. Ren smiled in relief.

“Good. I was so worried you were mad at me for earlier. I was just concerned because they’re my friends, you know?” Ren said as he sat down on the couch behind him. I took a seat with him on the opposite end, putting distance between us more for my sake if anything.

“I understand.”

“Minhyun really seems to think you have it out for him… That’s not true, is it?” Ren cautiously asked while staring at me from across the couch. I stared back at him.

“Ren, I assure you that Aron was picked for his skill and no other reason.” I replied. Ren paused for a moment then turned his head back down towards his lap.

“Why would Minhyun think that then? I know he’s difficult to get along with, but he had to have had a reason why.” Ren persisted.

“It’s true. We don’t get along and we’ve had our differences. But I wouldn’t let it interfere with business. It was by Jason’s strong recommendation that I agreed to the change in the lineup. Aron is most suited for our particular collaboration line.” I lied about having an input in the decision.

“You mean it was Jason’s idea?” Ren asked, surprised. I nodded, even though it was only partially true.

“Now will you put it to rest?” I asked, not wanting to discuss the matter any further than I was probably allowed to. Ren slowly nodded then smiled at me.

“I knew that you weren’t like that. I’m glad.” He replied, reaching for a bottle of water inside of one of the plastic bags. I watched as he untwisted the cap and brought the rim of the bottle up to his lips, taking a sip before he sighed and placed the bottle down on my coffee table. He suddenly seemed nervous, as if there was something else on his mind.

“You ok?” I asked him. He smiled and nodded.

“Yeah. It’s just weird.”

“What’s weird?” I asked him.

“All that’s happened this past year. Getting signed, meeting you and becoming close friends… I never would have pictured it. I mean, look.” Ren took out his phone and pulled up his picture of the two of us that he had taken outside of Club Seoul. “How many people can say that all of their lifelong dreams came true over a matter of months? I don’t know why any of this happened so suddenly, but I feel lucky and grateful that it did. I mean, I really don’t know what I would have done without you these past few weeks.” Ren shifted his gaze down into his lap.

“It was nothing. We only met a couple of times because of our busy schedules.”

“I know, but it was still something. And it helped. I feel like I’m ready to do yours and Jason’s clothes justice at the fashion show. If you hadn’t of intervened and just left me alone or even fired me, I probably wouldn’t be in such a good place right now. I guess what I’m just trying to say for the thousandth time is ‘thank you.’”

“Isn’t that what friends do?”

“Yes, but…” Ren’s voice trailed off as he tilted his head to the side, seeming unsure. He sighed. “Sorry, I’m just being weird again.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I don’t want to offend you.” Ren replied, nervously keeping his gaze away from me. I shook my head.

“I’m sure you won’t. What is it?”

“I just… There’s this weird vibe I get around you – it’s been there from the start. I tend to have a wild imagination, so I’ve tried not to think much of it, but I’m really just not sure anymore. It seems like you’ve been helping me out a lot since the moment I met you, even before we were friends, like I was singled out. But… ah, how do I ask this?”

“Do I like you?” I bluntly asked.

“Yes.” Ren said without much thought then suddenly paused before staring back at me with wide eyes as it occurred to him what I said. I blankly stared back at him, causing him to panic even more. “I mean-”

“Relax. I was just joking with you.”

“Baekho!” Ren pouted. “Don’t joke with me like that!”

“That was what you were trying to ask me, weren’t you?”

“… Yes.” Ren replied, holding his head down and looking ashamed of himself.

“You’re a special person to me, there’s no denying that… But right now I’m more interested in all that you brought over to bribe me with. What’s all in there?” I asked, quickly trying to change the subject and praying that it would as I leaned forward and shifted through one of the bag’s contents. Ren glanced over at what I was doing before helping me take the contents out of the bag.

“It’s just… I get mixed signals whenever I’m around you.”

“Is that necessarily a bad thing?” I asked and waited for his response after realizing he wasn’t going to drop it. Ren froze with both hands on the bag, keeping his gaze downwards at the table.

“It could be.” He replied, making my heart come to a stop. Before I could question him he immediately spoke back up, still keeping his gaze away from me. “Both my head and my heart aren’t in the right place right now ever since my heart was broken. All of this could just be me going crazy and imagining things that might not be there. I understand what it feels like to be hurt by a friend… And you’re probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me since he left, which is why I’m afraid that I’m going to hurt you or our friendship with me being crazy like this. I already made you think I was mad at you when I went kind of quiet for those two weeks, meaning that I must have hurt you and I just feel terribly awful about it.”

“I don’t think there’s anything you could really do to hurt me, Ren.” I replied somewhat in a trance after hearing him just call me the best thing that happened to him lately. Ren finally glanced up at me.

“But earlier when I asked you about Minhyun-”

“It stung a bit to be misunderstood, but that’s all it was, a misunderstanding. I’m okay. Trust me, Ren. I don’t think you’re a bad person. Crazy? Hmm… maybe a little bit. But it’s the good type of crazy, not the bad. But… can I ask you something?” I asked. Ren slowly nodded. “About those mixed signals… Do I make you uncomfortable?” I asked, feeling paranoid and desperately wanting to know. Ren stared at me in silence for a while before shaking his head.

“It’s… not bad. I mean, I do get uncomfortable, but that’s just me being paranoid.” He replied. I was shocked to hear that I wasn’t the only one feeling paranoid around here.

“Of what?” I continued to pressure to get a direct answer from him. Ren nervously laughed.

“Oh, come on. Do I need to say it?”

“Yes, say it.” I replied. Ren paused before shifting his gaze off to the side.

“Paranoid that… the person I admire the most in this world… could possibly feel something more towards me. I’m scared. There’s a part of me that’s afraid I’m misreading you and your intentions while there’s another part of me that’s afraid that I’m not.” Ren’s hands began to shake as he spoke. When he noticed this he quickly drew them into his lap. I stared down at his hands for a moment before forcing a smile on my lips and glancing back up at him.

“There’s nothing you need to be afraid of, Ren.” I reassured him even though I wasn’t sure of how I really felt right now because none of what he had told me was enough to convince me of whether he liked me or not. All I understood was that he was afraid of hurting me, but really his feelings could go both ways. Why was he so afraid that he wasn’t misreading me? Was it because he didn’t feel the same way, or was it because he was afraid that he did? Sometimes moving on and starting a new relationship could be scary, especially if it was with someone as important and intimidating in this world as Mr. Kim was. Ren slowly looked up at me from his lap.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Ok.” Ren replied, sullenly looking back down into his lap, almost looking somewhat disappointed. I paused for a moment to read his body language to see if I was imagining things. Ren really did look sad, but it was hard to tell if it was from this or if he was still in the process of mending his broken heart. Either way, it was a look that didn’t suit him. I wanted to see him smile again.

“What are you doing tomorrow after practice?” I suddenly asked him, trying to change the subject. A surprised look suddenly popped on his face and he curiously turned to look at me again.

“Hmm, tomorrow? Nothing that I know of. Why?”

“Do you want to go somewhere with me?” I vaguely asked, coming up with an idea. Ren blinked.

“Sure! Where to?” He instantly replied without even knowing where we were going. I smiled.

“It’s a secret.” I . Ren pouted and I waved my index finger at him. “It has to be, or else we risk reporters showing up.” I explained. Ren’s face brightened up and he nodded in understanding and he smiled back to me.

“Ok!” He replied, satisfied with my answer. He tore open a bag of chips, clumsily managing to rip the entire bag with its complete contents falling onto his lap. Ren shrugged then happily began to eat them from his lap, unfazed by his sudden mishap. I watched him as if he were the most precious thing in the world to me as he continued to eat with his head up in the clouds, painfully unaware of how I felt about him even though I now knew that he suspected it. And since he already suspected it, did that mean it was time…? Already some time had passed between the moment he had cut off ties with JR up until now. Had I waited long enough? I was perfectly okay with waiting longer – months, even. I wanted Ren to be okay again before making my move because I had told myself that if he were to ever come to me, it would be because he wanted to, not because I was a rebound romance. I wasn’t foolish – I didn’t want to get hurt either. But with Ren suddenly visiting me this late at night and bringing up these ‘mixed signals’ between us… did this mean that he was trying to tell me something? Was he ready to finally move on? Or was it just something that naively came up in conversation? I continued to watch Ren, who was now blissfully halfway through the pile of chips he had spilled on his lap. If he was secretly trying to tell me something, I didn’t want to pass up this golden time frame of opportunity.

Tomorrow… I want to tell him everything.