Baekho’s POV

After the fashion show was over I was led to the front of the auditorium by Jason to talk to several reporters and answer any and all questions. With each question I received I fed back to them a pre-written answer that I had memorized from JR’s notes. Most of the questions had been about the time construction and how I had managed to get by while Jason was in the hospital. I lied and said that everything was fine and that I didn’t mind helping Jason out on his part, even though in reality I did absolutely nothing. All I did was simply make appearances – today included. The reporters ate my answers up though until there was nothing more to ask. The Q&A only lasted about forty minutes. When we were finished and it was just the two of us, Jason instructed me not to do anything and to just go home. Of course he didn’t know about my plans to meet up with Ren and his older brother and of course I didn’t mention anything to him. I nodded and lied about where I was going then left for the venue’s parking garage.

I stared down at my steering wheel once I had climbed inside of my car. Throughout the duration of the fashion show my thoughts had only been on one thing – Ren’s answer. Although I was almost certain of what that answer was going to be, I was just surprised that he hadn’t said anything yet and was waiting so long to tell me. Unless maybe he was having second thoughts. When I had asked him about why he hadn’t answered my text, his explanation was that Jason had kept him until late. But how late was that exactly? I remembered having chat logs with Ren past midnight a couple of times before. Did he really think I would mind? Or maybe it was because he knew the fashion show would be today and he wanted to let me rest for preparation. Yeah, that was probably it. Regardless of whether it was true or not, I needed to convince myself with positive thoughts.

I rolled my eyes and started the engine. I was needlessly over worrying about things. Last night Ren and I had a connection. I felt the way he relaxed his body against mine. There was no way that he felt uncomfortable around me. I just had to be a little more patient and wait it out until he was ready to tell me. I pulled out my phone and found the restaurant address that Ren had forwarded to me a while back about where his brother had made reservations. The fact that his brother had thought ahead to make a private reservation impressed me and had me wondering what type of person he was. He had booked a dining room at a rather upscale place, meaning that whoever Ren’s brother was, he certainly had a decent amount of wealth.

I typed in the address in my GPS and started moving, leaving the venue parking garage. Several minutes later I arrived out in front of the restaurant. The valet service quickly took both my keys and my car away from me, parking it further down the street while I walked inside and was greeted by two hostesses. I gave them the name of Ren’s brother and they immediately led me down the back hall and to a room before leaving me. Before entering I lightly knocked to announce that I had arrived. I slowly pushed the door open and stepped inside. I was immediately met by the image of a man in similar stature and looks to Ren sitting at the table. He was dressed in a white dress shirt and a black tie and pants, his blazer jacket hanging from the back of his chair. He was wearing a pair of glasses on the bridge of his nose with his long black bangs barely brushing up against them. I took one look at him and could instantly guess that he was a professor of some sort. I watched as he looked up at me from the table and paused for a moment, seeming a bit startled as if he might have recognized me from somewhere before. I thought nothing of it, having grown accustomed to this particular look ever since I took on the Mr. Kim persona. If someone thought they recognized me, they probably did. My face was all over the news. I was a public figure. Minseok quickly shook the look from his face and stood, bowing politely to me before offering a handshake. I took his hand and shook it, bowing back to him.

“You must be Ren’s older brother, Choi Minseok?” I asked him. Minseok nodded as I released his hand.

“Yes, and you must be-”

“Kim Baekho.” I replied then was met with a strange, puzzled look.

“Kim?” He asked me with furrowed brows. I awkwardly smiled back at him.

“Yes.” I said, taking a seat across from him at the table. He quickly took his seat once again. I glanced over at him. “If you do not know me you must not watch the news, I presume.” I joked to lighten the mood. Just where in the world was Ren and how was it that I had managed to beat him here first? Minseok paused for a moment then nervously laughed.

“I see you’ve caught me. I’ve no time for catching up on news.” Minseok shortly replied.

“Is that so? What is it that you do for a living, Mr. Choi?” I asked him. Minseok’s eyes suddenly grew wide in embarrassment.

“Oh god, ‘Mr. Choi’ makes me feel old… I felt like my father was in the room just now when you called me that.” He joked. “Since you’re Ren’s boss and assuming good friend, you can call me Minseok.”

“Minseok,” I corrected myself. “What do you do for a living?”

“I’m a psychology professor at the University of Seoul.” He replied. So I had been right about him being a professor after all. I smirked, somewhat amused.

“And you’re not used to your students referring to you as Mr. Choi?” I asked. Minseok shook his head.

“No? They either refer to me as Professor or Minseok – I respond to either one. I’m a very down to earth instructor. I don’t enforce titles in my classroom. It’s because of the students that I even get to continue my research at the university. I should be grateful to them, or at the very least approachable.” He replied, sounding very much like a psychology professor. For a minute I was a bit taken aback by how intelligent, yet laid back he seemed. He spoke like a scholar, however, his personality was a tad bit unprofessional. Regardless, I felt as if I was in the presence of someone who was far superior than me. Minseok had gone to school and had actually earned all of his credentials. And me? I signed a contract and was practically given mine. Despite how inferior I secretly felt in front of him, I couldn’t let Minseok know. I had a role to play.

“Then I’ll remember to refer to you as Minseok from now on then.” I reassured him. Minseok stared at me for a brief moment then cheerfully smiled and nodded before glancing down at the watch on his right wrist. As he smiled I couldn’t help but catch how similar his reactions were to Ren. Ren was the type of person who would smile at everything – it didn’t take much. He was amazed by even the simplest of things. I would have never thought that this was a behavior that he had learned from his brother.

“He’s late… Some things never change, I guess.” Minseok replied, referring to his younger sibling that we were both waiting on.

“He’s always been like this?” I curiously asked.

“For most things. He’d never be late for anything that involves fashion though. He’ll show up ten hours early for an event like that, but school? Pfft!” Minseok bluntly replied before awkwardly pausing. “I better stop. I’m sure he would just love hearing that I talked about him like this.”

“I won’t speak of it.” I replied. Minseok laughed.

“Good to know…” He replied before his voice suddenly turned more serious. “And you, Kim Baekho… You are the famous fashion designer that my little brother has been talking about nonstop for years, aren’t you? You’re the man behind House of Kim.” Minseok strangely said as if it were difficult to believe. I was unsure if I should be offended or not by his sudden change in personality. Was it possible that perhaps in his eyes I looked unworthy of being Mr. Kim? It was a concept I couldn’t grasp. Jason and JR had specifically sought me out, deeming that I had all of the right qualities that one might expect from the secretive fashion designer. How was it that I was passable in the eyes of everyone in the fashion industry, but not that of a psychology professor?

“Yes, that is correct.” I replied, deciding to let it go for Ren’s sake. Calm yourself. Ren will be here any minute now. The last thing I wanted was for him to walk into me losing my temper with his brother. Not only would that leave an unfavorable impression on Ren, but it was completely un-Mr.Kim-like. Minseok leaned forward onto the table, seeming deeply intrigued. The way his eyes studied my face began to make me grow uncomfortable but I couldn’t look away. If I broke eye contact with him first, his impression about me not being credible as Mr. Kim would be confirmed. I couldn’t let him rattle me any further. I had to remain confident and collected.

“And how did that come about?”

“Pardon?” I asked, pretending not to understand his question. Why was he suddenly asking me this? Minseok stared at me underneath his glasses, unmoving. His gaze was piercing – probably a technique he had mastered over the years of teaching, using it to sort out the credible students from the bullters. By the look on his face it wasn’t hard to tell which one I seemed to appear as in front of his eyes.

“How does one create a multi-billion dollar fashion powerhouse?” He clarified.

“You want for me to explain to you how I did it?” I asked back, hoping he would hear how ridiculous his question sounded just now when in reality I was starting to panic. I was starting to regret coming here. As much as I hated to admit it, I should have listened to Jason and just gone home. Minseok nodded.

“Yes, why not?” He asked, putting me on the spot. It appeared that my logic was lost on the university professor. I suddenly found myself feeling clueless like a small child in front of him. I didn’t have any answers for the questions he was asking of me. None of JR’s guides had covered the business and economic aspects of House of Kim, and with me never having actually gone to college or even taken a business class for that matter, I had absolutely zero knowledge on the topic. But he had asked me a question and was expecting a response in return. I had to say something. I nervously cleared my throat, wanting to be anywhere but here right now.

“There are several steps involved, it’s not just one-”

“I’m not asking about the business aspect of it. I want to know how you, Kim Baekho, decided one day that you were going to build House of Kim and become a famous designer. Was it something that you always knew you would become?” Minseok continued to question me, using inflection in his voice each time he mentioned the name ‘Kim.’ It felt as if I were under attack.

“Of course.” I lied in attempt to get him off my back.

“When?” He continued to push. I stared at him in silence for a moment before calmly answering him.

“I feel as if you’re searching for a specific answer that I have yet to arrive to, Mr. – I mean, Minseok.” I replied. Minseok paused then leaned back away from the table and into his chair. He folded his arms across his chest and sighed heavily, leaving me feeling rather unsettled and confused. Minseok was a difficult person to read. One moment he was cheerful and then the next he was assailing me. Rather than saying anything further, I waited to see what he would do or say next. After a while spent in his own thoughts, Minseok finally glanced back up at me.

“You don’t remember me, do you?” He suddenly asked. Now it was my turn to pause.

“Excuse me?” I asked, perplexed. Remember? Minseok shook his head.

“Of course not, you were young when it happened. How could you remember me?” He said, sounding as if he had known me for a long time.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, feeling lost about where this conversation was going. I didn’t like the informal way he was speaking to me anymore than I liked the way he was attacking my credibility. It was now I started to understand where Ren received his bluntness from, although with Minseok it was a bit more eloquently worded and woven into some type of mind puzzle.

“Mr. Kim… it’s just the two of us in here right now. It’s okay to be brutally honest with me about what’s going on.” Minseok replied. I furrowed my brows and stared at him. My heart started racing and my arms and legs suddenly felt numb. Inside of my mind I was scrambling around, trying to think about whether or not I recognized him from somewhere like he was implying. It was important because if he really did know me from the time before I was Mr. Kim, then it meant that I was caught and he had a major advantage over me and even possible blackmail. Think, Baekho, think! By now I was sweating, internally panicking and trying not to shake while I studied Minseok’s face. Of course he looked familiar – he was practically the splitting image of Ren, but did I know him? No. I worked at many places before, but never a university. I would have no reason to have met a professor. I was a hundred percent certain that I had never seen this man before in my entire life.

“And what is going on?” I wearily asked back of him.

“Maybe you don’t remember me, but I remember you. I’ve kept a close watch over you ever since.” He admitted, making me grow increasingly alarmed. Who was this person, and how long had he been watching me? I felt a mix of emotions. I was scared because I didn’t know what or even if this person had something on me. If he did, he could easily threaten me. It was also possible that I could end up in jail. This wasn’t something that I wasn’t already mentally prepared for. In fact, I had originally told JR to turn me in and have been waiting for it even until this very day. But me going to jail was something that I either wanted JR to do or I myself voluntarily turning myself in. My fate was already in JR and Jason’s control and it couldn’t be in anyone else’s hands. I felt angry and extremely violated after hearing Minseok’s last statement. Why would he watch me? What good reason did he have to infringe upon another person’s personal life?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but stalking is illegal and carries hefty consequences.” I warned. Back off. Whatever you know, whatever you think you know… just back off. Even if you have something on me, even if you turn me in, there’s no promises that Jason won’t go after you because he still needs me – I froze. Did Jason even need me anymore? I suddenly remembered the conversation we had about him getting rid of me after the big collaboration fashion show was over. Now that it had already happened, what was going to happen to me? If Jason received word that Minseok was trying to threaten me, would he just shrug his shoulders and walk away, leaving me to deal with the consequences of everything we had done together? Minseok gave me a hurt, startled look.

“Do you honestly believe that I would try to purposely harm you?” He asked, astounded. “I would never.” He replied. I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Then why would you follow me?”

“To one day apologize.” He said before shifting his gaze down regretfully to the table. When I heard that last statement of his I dropped all notions about blackmail and prison time and froze. It felt as if the walls of the room were growing closer and spinning, completely enclosing me. I hadn’t lived a life where many people had wronged me. The only person I could ever think of that could possibly owe me an apology other than Jason would have had to have been –

“Who are you?” I darkly asked. My heart was racing. He slowly glanced up at me.

“Exactly who you think I am.” He replied. My eyes grew wide in stunned silence. At the back of my mind I could see the image of my parents’ car crushed like a soda can and ignited in flames. I stared at the look on Minseok’s sullen face as I tried to picture the other car that had been involved, only it was a complete blur. I had been too young and in such a state of shock that all I could even think about at that moment was my parents. Was it possible that Minseok had been the other driver involved? Then that would have had to have meant that Ren’s accident, the one which he and his older brother had been involved in was the same one as my –

I quickly rose from my seat. “I-I have some forgotten business to attend to. If you’ll excuse me.”

“Wait!” Minseok called out for me as I started to turn my back to him. I don’t know why I stopped when every inch of my body was yelling at me to run far, far away from here. This was a situation I couldn’t have imagined happening and certainly one I wasn’t prepared for dealing with. Minseok stood from his chair and took out a business card, listing his office phone and building number. He handed it to me. I took it and stared down at it before glancing up at him. Minseok continued. “I won’t speak a word to the media. But I do hope that one day, on your own will, that you will come to speak to me.” He replied as I struggled to keep myself from falling apart in front of him.

“About what?” I asked, desperately trying to hold myself together on the inside. My bottom lip was slightly trembling.

“Anything and everything.” He replied.

“I don’t think that will be necessary, Mr. Choi.” I coldly replied, crumbling the card in the palm of my hand and shoving it in my pocket as I pulled the door open and stepped out into the hallway, hurriedly walking away. Minseok didn’t chase me. I clumsily rushed past the two hostesses, bumping into them and knocking down their reservation podium. I was met by two startled gasps and angry glares. I shakily bowed to them in apology before stepping out the front doors where the valet service saw me and scrambled to collect my car. I waited outside for about five minutes, meanwhile desperately hoping that Ren wouldn’t magically appear. I had wanted to see him earlier, but now I wasn’t even sure I could face him. My car quickly pulled in front of me. I quietly walked around it and fished out my wallet, giving the man a tip before climbing back inside and tearing down the street in a flash.

When I pulled up inside of my driveway, I didn’t even make it inside of the house before the tears started overflowing from the corners of my eyes and trickling down my cheeks. I sat back in my car seat and placed my right hand over my mouth to muffle the sounds of my sobs. I didn’t want to cry. This wasn’t what men did. This wasn’t what Mr. Kim did. I was supposed to be strong. Ever since the accident I’ve been my own source of strength and I’ve made it through tougher times all by myself… but this one by far was the worst out of all of them. When I heard those words escape Minseok’s lips, it was almost as if I was at the scene of the accident again, watching the firefighters tear my parents’ charred bodies from the burnt vehicle. I covered both of my eyes with my palms and screamed.

Mom, dad…

I tried to think back to the other car once again. At the time the other two passengers had been unrecognizable faces to me. But ever since hearing what Minseok had implied, suddenly those faces began growing much clearer. I slammed my left fist down on the door armrest and my right on the clutch and threw my head back into my seat and screamed again out of anger and frustration. Why… out of all people, why did it have to be them?! If it had been some stranger I didn’t know, I would have lived out the rest of my life feeling fine. But Ren? The only person that had ever truly caught my interest, the only person that had showed me that I could care for someone so deeply again – it had to be him?!

I weakly kicked open the door and climbed out. As I stood I felt my knees collapse beneath me and I quickly latched onto the open door to prevent myself from falling. Once I caught myself I paused for a moment then hugged the door and pathetically cried into the window. In a situation like this I longed to be comforted, but the harsh reality was that there wasn’t someone I could go to comfort me. I was alone, just as I had always been and probably as I will always be. I gripped my left fist tightly as I leaned my head against the window and continued to sob. There was nothing more that I wanted than to be comforted by Ren at this moment. But how could I go to him? How could I ever face him again? Because of him and his brother, my parents –

“AGHHH!!!” I screamed out, releasing my hold on the car door and sinking to my hands and knees on the pavement. I slammed my right first repeatedly against the hard surface until the skin across my knuckles had broken, decorating my driveway with several drops of crimson blood. I couldn’t help but think of how much my life might have been different if the accident had never occurred and I still had my parents with me by my side. I would have never had to struggle and learn to live on my own. I wouldn’t have had to take all those stupid part time jobs just so that I could afford to pay rent and keep the lights on at that crummy old apartment. I would have never signed away my life to become someone else just to have my freedom taken away from me! I would have never met Jason or JR or even Ren. I would have gone on without knowing that any three of them ever existed – but would I have been happy like that? Losing my parents had been the worst, but because of the accident, I learned to take care of myself. I grew up faster than most and learned responsibility. In a way, it ended up shaping me. I made mistakes, just like everyone does. But meeting Ren was the happiest thing to happen to me since then, and I just couldn’t… I couldn’t imagine walking past him on the street with the both of us meaning absolutely nothing to one another, not even so much as giving each other a single passing glance before going on our ways.

I leaned forward and rested my forehead against the pavement as I continued to cry. I felt so lost. What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t pretend like none of this had happened when it clearly did. I wanted to be angry at them. I wanted to hate them for taking my parents away from me all those years ago. I wanted to despise them for reopening old wounds. But I couldn’t. As much as I wanted to point my finger at them, I realized that I wasn’t the only one that had suffered. Out of all, my parents had suffered and lost the most, but Ren was still living with the lifelong complications and mental scars from the accident as well. I hadn’t asked, but who knew what Minseok was also suffering from too. I was the only uninvolved party. I didn’t suffer from any physical wounds or trauma. I just finished growing up without parents. Because of that crash I missed out on so many potential memories with them and I had to live with a feeling of lost time. But then again, they were the ones that had to live with the guilt of killing two people and shattering a family. I couldn’t tell which side had it worse.

I pulled myself up off the ground and shakily rose to my feet. I needed to be strong. I got through this once. Surely I could get myself through it again. The only difference now was that I knew who the other party involved was. It didn’t change my parents being dead. If anything, the only thing it did change was the way I viewed Ren. I wasn’t sure if I could accept this. I felt that if I did, my parents up in heaven might frown down upon me… Would they? I had always remembered them as kind, caring people. They weren’t the type to hold grudges. But this wasn’t some trivial or minor dispute. They had actually lost their lives. I wasn’t so sure what to think anymore. I knew that Ren or his brother probably hadn’t run into my parents’ car on purpose. It was what it was – an accident. It was something that my parents could probably forgive, but could I? I gritted my teeth. I had spent so much time being angry when I was younger, and truthfully, now that I was older I realized that it had all been a big waste of time. I didn’t want to be full of hatred anymore. That wasn’t any way to live.

I suddenly jumped when I heard my phone ring and felt it vibrate in my pocket. I dug it out and held it up to my face to read the screen. When Ren’s name popped up my hand trembled. I tightly pursed my lips together and stared at the animation of a phone ringing on the screen. Before I knew it, I had missed his call. I shakily exhaled, leaning back against my car door and shutting it closed in the process. I stumbled backwards with my car catching me before I fell. Once again my phone started ringing in my hand. Ren was calling again. My chest constricted, making it difficult to breathe. Instead of answering the phone I quickly slid my finger across the screen and rejected his call, too fearful to face him. Minseok had promised not to talk to the media – he didn’t say anything about his brother. If he told Ren everything he remembered about me and the accident then there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that Ren was going through the exact same thing I was at the moment: disbelief. But there was also the added threat that if Minseok revealed who I was, just as he had concluded, nothing matched up about me being Mr. Kim. Ren wasn’t dumb. I knew he would piece together everything and arrive to the conclusion that I wasn’t who I said I was. I wasn’t mentally and emotionally ready to handle revealing my true self to Ren and seeing the look of shock and betrayal in his eyes. Everything was falling apart, but this was what I got for lying, isn’t it? Everything was bound to fall apart eventually, but why… why like this?

The phone started ringing again. I angrily shrieked then shut it off. I couldn’t talk to Ren, not about the accident and not about Mr. Kim mostly because I couldn’t trust myself not to say something I might heavily regret later on. Right now I was irrational. I didn’t want to scream my lungs out at Ren despite my gut telling me to do otherwise. I needed to wait for this feeling of hurt to pass before I could begin making sense once again and face him. But for now I needed to think of how I might do that. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that he would ask me about Mr. Kim. If he did, what would I tell him? Should I tell him, or continue lying to him and everyone else? Now that the fashion show was over, my time as Mr. Kim was probably about to expire. Earlier when I had been sitting across the table from Minseok at the restaurant, I came across a terrifying thought that had been in the back of my head ever since I learned of  Jason’s backstabbing schemes. He didn’t need me anymore. Jason had once threatened to get rid of me after all of this was over. Just how he planned on getting rid of me, I didn’t know. But since then I kept pushing these thoughts and forming an exit plan to the side, thinking I still had more time. But I didn’t. My time as Mr. Kim was up and I didn’t have any sort of way to protect myself from Jason.

I thought of how I might tell Ren the truth. Was there a way to reveal who I really was without giving away the truth about JR? It seemed like it was impossible. I knew that if I told Ren I wasn’t the real Mr. Kim, he would then go on to ask who was. But was it really my place to talk? And was this something he wanted to hear from me, or would he rather have heard from JR himself? I stared down at the spattered blood lining my driveway and then down at my bloodied fist. I thought back to the moment I had confessed to Ren on the boat and how I was met back with uncertainty and hesitation. Why? He said it was because he was still getting over a broken heart. But I knew otherwise, especially when he ended up crying his eyes out at the Christmas light exhibit over who he thought he had seen was JR when in reality no one even knew where the man really was. When he spent the night and I took him to the guest bedroom and he misunderstood and was humiliated, I knew something was up. Ren wasn’t shy. He was bold and confident in whatever he did. The only reason why he would act such a way was if he was unsure about the aspect of getting physical with me. And when I lost control of myself later that night and ended up putting a move on him, once again I was met with slight hesitation from him after he reminded me that I had told him to wait until tomorrow. Although he ended up reciprocating the affection, a large part of me deep down believed that it was simply out of the mood of the situation and the setting. Another factor that came into play was that Ren himself had admitted that he hadn’t messed around for a long time as well. When I realized this I immediately cut things off between us before we could get too far.

I shifted my gaze up into the sky that was growing increasingly dark as it fell into nighttime. When I had told Ren to wait until the next day to tell me how he really felt about me, I was really just buying myself more time. I knew. I knew how he felt about me. And I also knew how he still felt about JR. Although it seemed like he was about to return my affections and even tried to kiss me, I told him to sleep on it because I was afraid of him later on realizing that he might have made a mistake by prematurely choosing me. The way he described me, he talked as if I was a knight in shining armor, in other words, someone that wasn’t real. I had been so busy trying to get him to fall for me that I hadn’t realized the opposite effect it had on him. It wasn’t really me that he fell for but the things I did for him versus the things that JR never had. All of these thoughts had been running through my head as I held him in my arms that night. Although he was there wrapped up with me in the present, I couldn’t escape the feeling that he still wasn’t mine and deep down I had been starting to doubt that he ever truly would. The truth… the truth about the real Mr. Kim was something that he would need from JR himself. I had no place breaking this news to him.

 

The next morning I awoke to the sound of my own front door opening and slamming loudly. I immediately shot up in the midst of my sleep and sat up. I had spent the entire night crying off and on and had finally managed to fall asleep as soon as the sun rose. My eyes stung and my face felt swollen and puffy. I quickly swung my legs out of bed and climbed out, carefully treading the hallways as not to make a sound before emerging into the living room to see Jason standing there, looking around for me. I deeply exhaled, not exactly relieved to see him but glad that it hadn’t been an actual intruder. Once Jason had noticed my presence he glanced up at me. Initially a distraught look had been written over his face until he took in my appearance, shortly replaced by shock. I rolled my swollen eyes and walked past him into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water, not wanting to deal with his nonsense. I was too tired and I just didn’t have the mental and physical energy to do it. Jason followed me as he recalled his purpose for being here and stopped, leaning across the opposite side of the counter in the kitchen.

“We need to talk.” He urgently replied. He sounded troubled.

“That’s what phones are for.”

“Yours was off, .” Jason sourly shot back. Apparently he wasn’t in the mood for my nonsense either. I froze. That’s right, I had turned it off last night because of Ren. I turned around with my glass of water and stared at him.

“You have my attention.” I blankly replied. Jason gave me a strange look after receiving my response. I could tell he wanted to question it but quickly dropped it. Whatever he was here for seemed to take precedence first.

“Have you read any of the articles?” He asked.

“Look at me.” I spread my arms to reveal myself still in my pajamas. “Does it look like I’ve been online at all today? You’re the one that woke me up.” I pointed out to him.

“Don’t get smart with me.” Jason warned.

“Well you hate it when I’m dumb as bricks.”

“I have zero tolerance for-” Jason cut himself off as he began to grow extremely heated in an attempt to calm himself down, probably out of fear of rupturing his stomach ulcer again. He waited several seconds before taking a deep breath and exhaling. He removed his tablet from his black leather messenger bag resting on his right shoulder. He turned it on, scrolled, then placed it down on the counter for me to see. I put my glass down and glanced across to see an article from Dispatch. I stared up at the headline which read:

NEW FASHION DESIGNER SET TO MAKE DEBUT – PRODILOGICAL HOUSE OF KIM’S SECRET APPRENTICE?

As I read the headline I froze. What the hell… I furrowed my brows as I tried to understand the meaning of this article. My eyes were glued on the words ‘secret apprentice.’ Where had this article come from and what were it’s sources? I was Mr. Kim and I had no idea what they were talking about. Neither Jason nor I had ever been approached to answer any questions about a supposed secret apprentice, but someone was supposedly talking. Someone was trying to use House of Kim and Mr. Kim’s name for their own benefit. I scrolled further down to see an official advertisement for some fashion company titled LOTUS Designs, one which featured the infamous model Son Dambi. She appeared to be wearing a short, boyish wig with a flashy silver t-shirt crop top that exposed her toned, tight abdomen and small waist. On the bottom she wore a pair of black leather shorts and a pair of black ankle boots. She was posed seductively wrapped around what appeared to be an empty king’s throne. I glanced up at Jason as I heard him angrily scoff.

“I should have gone with my instinct. I knew that it had been quiet for far too long…” Jason muttered as if he knew something that I didn’t.

“What’s going on?” I asked, unsure of what was happening.

“You really are dumb as bricks!” He snapped at me while pointing at the tablet. “Doesn’t one name in particular pop out to you when reading that article?!” He shrieked. I shot him a hurt look before pausing as the image of the only plausible person that could be responsible for this flashed across my mind. I thought back to the day that I had spoken to him in my car and even at the coffee shop. I had asked him to turn me and Jason in or do something to stand up for himself multiple times, but he refused, telling me that he preferred waiting for karma to take care of it for him. I was stunned. Was this what he had meant when he had said that? While disappearing off the face of the earth, had he secretly been working on a plan to get me and Jason back, and that’s why it seemed like he wasn’t doing anything? My heart sunk in fear. JR was the true Mr. Kim. He was the real mastermind behind House of Kim. Who was to say that he couldn’t rise up again in another company and tear us down in the process? In fact, this was exactly what it felt like he was trying to do by spreading this rumor of a secret apprentice.

“What do you need for me to do?” I darkly asked. A brief, surprised look washed across Jason’s face before he returned to being serious.

“Since when have you ever come to me seeking advice?” Jason murmured while glancing off to the side.

“Are you telling me that you’re not going to help me? You’re just going to let me handle this alone?” I asked. Jason glanced back at me. “Now that the big fashion show is over, you have no use for me – is that it?” I glared at him. Jason gave me an annoyed look.

“Should I help you? You’re right. JA Style’s stocks have significantly risen since yesterday’s show. I’ve gotten what I want out of you.” Jason taunted. I scoffed.

“You don’t get to toss me out onto the street like a piece of garbage, not after all that I’ve done for you. I’m still Mr. Kim. I still have power.” I threatened. Jason smiled at me, amused.

“And what power is that, dear?” He asked with venom in his voice.

“I’ll tell. I’ll tell them who you and I really are and what we did to JR-” Jason leaned across the counter and grabbed my jaw between his right thumb and index finger, forcing me to look him dead in the eyes.

“You will do no such thing, now calm yourself and you listen to me: I am not done with you yet.” Jason clarified, startling me. He released my jaw and leaned backwards. “I said that JA Style’s stocks have risen since yesterday’s show – that much is true. But my sales have recently started staggering when they should be continuing to rise even more, far surpassing House of Kim. And it’s all because of that article. People aren’t interested in JA Style or House of Kim right now – they’re interested in JR’s new company, LOTUS Designs. They want to know more about this secret apprentice who supposedly helped and learned from Mr. Kim. Hell, that article is even touting that this new designer is even better than House of Kim!”

“And what does this have to do with me? Until how long do you plan on keeping me?”

“Until the job is done.”

“And when will that be? When you rise above House of Kim? It might be possible, but only because by then House of Kim will be a damaged company. What about LOTUS Designs? Will you try to rise above that company and force him to abandon that one as well until he starts another one? Will you try and conquer that one too? When will this ever end?”

“This will never end!” Jason angrily shot back.

“Why?!” I screamed out of frustration at him. “What did JR ever do to you to make you hate him so much?”

“He was better than me!” Jason darkly admitted. I stared at him in stunned silence before finally speaking.

“And where in the law does it say that was ever a crime, a reason to attack someone?” I asked but Jason wasn’t listening to me.

“He stole my thunder. He knew what this show meant to me. He knew the great pains I went through to get all of this done but he went ahead and did it anyways… And the final blow – he signed Son Dambi? He knew… he knew how much I wanted her at one point and he turns around and rubs it in my face? He’s pulling out all of the stops, isn’t he? This… this isn’t retaliation, this is full out war.”

“You reap what you sow.” I replied. Jason narrowed his eyes and glared at me.

“If I’m going down, you’re going with me.” He threatened. I blankly stared at him.

“I’ve been counting on it.” I said. Jason angrily slammed his fist down on the counter then turned his back to me, giving off a frustrated sigh. I continued to watch him. “As I said earlier, what do you need me to do about this situation?”

“Don’t say anything.” Jason replied, turning back around to face me. “For now, don’t even think about leaving this house. You’re not to have any outside contact-”

“Do you really think staying quiet will solve anything? Won’t it look suspicious if I don’t say anything?” I asked. Jason grabbed both sides of his face and shrieked.

“I don’t know, Baekho! I’m figuring this all out just as you are!” Jason said in a panic.

“Mr. Kim has to make an announcement. The question is: are we going to deny it or approve?” I replied. Jason froze.

“He’s probably counting on us to deny it.”

“Then do the opposite and approve.” I suggested. Jason shook his head.

“We deny it, he still gets more interest. We approve and it proves his claims as true, making him even more appealing to the public. It’s a lose-lose situation for us.” Jason hopelessly replied before his legs suddenly gave out from underneath him and he collapsed to the floor. I quickly moved around the corner of the counter to catch him before his head hit the tiles. Jason pulled himself from my arms but remained seated on the kitchen floor with his head held down in defeat. “…I can’t do this anymore.”

“What?” I stared at him with wide eyes.

“No matter what I do… he’s always going to be better than me…” His voice trailed off as his shoulders started to tremble. He brought his right hand over his stomach and held it there and winced as if he were in pain. “I tried… I really did try to do it the right way, through earnest and hard work. But my designs, my company – it always failed in comparison to his. And then I took a look at other CEOs who had risen to the top. They all had one thing in common: dirty money. You can call me crooked or a snake all you want, but the cold hard reality is that everyone does it. And so I tried it, but… it started tearing me up inside.” He said, glancing down at his stomach.

“If everyone started jumping off the bridge into the Han River, would you?” I scolded him. Jason remained silent. Instead he groaned and held his hand even closer to his stomach. I stared down at him. If his stomach was starting to hurt him again, it must have meant that the ulcer was back due to his high levels of stress. I could only guess who he felt this much remorse towards. “Tcht. Who would have thought? You actually do have a conscience.”

“Shut it!” Jason snapped at me in pain.

“You never really hated JR, did you? It was just jealousy, wasn’t it?” I asked him. Jason paused for a moment in silence. About a minute had passed by and I was starting to think he wasn’t going to respond to my question when suddenly I spotted him slowly shaking his head.

“I couldn’t stand it… All that he accomplished… and then look at the way he lives! He’s a fashion prodigy – a freaking billionaire, Baekho! But you would never know it by the clothes he wears and the apartment he stayed at. He made his accomplishments seem like they were nothing and I hated it. Even I who has never enjoyed as much success as him am proud of my accomplishments, big or small. Even I take care of myself. But him? He hid and locked himself away. He didn’t deserve to be Mr. Kim. He didn’t deserve the successes of House of Kim.”

“And who are you to make that judgement?” I asked him. “Do you think he got to where he was out of pure luck? It doesn’t work that way. I’m sure that behind closed doors he worked just as hard as you have.”

“I know.” Jason surprisingly admitted. “I know…”

“Jason,” I rose back up to my feet and circled around him, crouching down directly in front of him and looking him straight in the eyes. “What do you want for me to do?” I asked him. Jason glanced up and stared at me.

“…Approve.” He replied dejectedly. “Enough with the games. My body can’t hold up and I’m tired. I can’t compete with him anymore… I have a sinking feeling that if I do, I might really lose everything… So just get it over with and approve.”

“You’re sure?” I asked, surprised that he was giving up so easily without a fight. Jason slowly nodded.

“It’s better to work with what little you have than with nothing at all.” Jason replied. I placed my right hand on his left shoulder and patted him before I stood back up.

“Then that’s what I’ll do.” I replied, walking away and leaving him seated alone on the kitchen floor as I made my way back to my bedroom to shower and get dressed before I called the press conference. I wanted to give Jason some space after he had finally made that breakthrough and admitted to all of his wrongdoings. I wasn’t surprised that his stomach ulcer had returned. Deep down Jason actually probably still felt guilty towards JR. Why else would he have told me to approve of the articles claims? He was right – if I went out there and admitted that I did have a secret apprentice, the CEO of LOTUS Designs would become more popular. By Jason allowing me to claim it as true, he was practically giving that popularity to him. Maybe inside of his complicated mind it was his way of saying sorry. Or maybe he really was scared about JR taking everything away from him and this was his last attempt at taking care of his company. Either way, it seemed like Jason was done terrorizing others. JR was about to make his debut with LOTUS Designs and there wasn’t any possible way that JA Style would be able to stand up and even compete with him. But even though Jason himself had recognized that this was defeat, this mess that the three of us had intricately woven was far from over.

 

 

Ren’s POV

I had spent the entire night trying to call and get a hold of Baekho after he had turned off his phone, hoping that he might have turned it back on. However, he never did. Despite it being close to midnight, out of desperation to talk to him about the new discovery of our accidents being the same one, I rode a taxi all the way to his neighborhood. But I never got past the front gate. Since Baekho hadn’t called the guard and told him he was expecting me, he couldn’t let me in. My trip ended in yet another failed attempt to get a hold of him. I went back home feeling defeated. I sat on my couch for hours inside of my darkened living room, not watching TV, not doing anything, simply just thinking. I thought about the fashion show and my career in order to take my mind off Baekho and the accident. I had already tried every outlet I could think of to try to contact him. Spending more time thinking about it would only make me sick. Instead I needed to be productive with this time. I needed to think about my future. Although the fashion critics had hailed the show as a success and absolutely loved me, I ended up leaving that show hating myself. The surprised looks of betrayal when I went behind Aron and Minhyun’s backs not once, but twice, stayed with me the entire night, permanently painted in my memory. I felt so ashamed of myself I felt like dying. I paused. Dying? I had to ask myself: should my career make me feel this way?

I suddenly thought of my mother and was back inside of my old childhood house. I was a kid again while Minseok was already a teenager. I remembered standing inside of the kitchen with her as she stood over the stove, cooking dinner. She had a tired, haphazard look on her face after coming home from a long day at work. My mother was a person who had never gone to university. She had married straight out of high school and became pregnant with Minseok right away. For the first few years of Minseok’s life, she was a stay at home mother while my father worked at his construction job. When the bills became too much, she was forced to get a job as a hotel maid until she became pregnant with me much later. The only difference was that the second time around she only took a month to recover before returning back to work and she depended on Minseok, still a child himself, to watch me. Flash forward seven years, I was in elementary school and Minseok was in middle school. My mom was exhausted but she still had to feed her family. As I stood beside her, I remembered her telling me to study hard and get into a good school so that when I was older and I had to work, hopefully it would feel like a ‘career’ to me and not a ‘job’ like hers felt.

I found myself sitting back inside my apartment living room, a grown adult and living on my own. Because of the head injury I had sustained in the accident, I barely finished my last year of high school. Based off the struggles I faced during the exit exams, I knew that university was out of the question for me even though my mother still suggested that I try. When I refused, she kicked me out, which forced me to look at my other options. I had always wanted to model – modeling was a dream. And I knew that with the looks that I had inherited mostly from her that I could become a great one, so I set my sights on doing so. Of course, bills still had to be paid so I took several part time jobs to survive while still auditioning in the meantime. When Jason had found me, it had been my first real breakthrough. At first I was hesitant. I thought it was a scam because it was too good to be true. Jason had offered me an exclusive contract even with promises to meet Mr. Kim. The rational side of me sensed something was off, but the naïve side of me jumped at the chance. Although Jason’s clothes weren’t quite my style, I thought that as long as it helped me get my foot in the door, I should take the opportunity and be grateful for it. I never would have expected that later on that he would ask me to make choices that went against my morals and would leave me absolutely hating myself for it.

I thought about my reasoning behind my actions at the fashion show. I had done everything mostly out of fear. When Jason threatened to shred my contract, I thought it was all over. My name would become blacklisted like Minhyun and Aron’s. If I were lucky like them, I might find a reputable fashion designer that might agree to take me on, but those were far and few. Chances were I wouldn’t, even after all the love calls I received after the first show and even this one. No one would want me if I was difficult to work with. I thought about how far I had come to even make modeling a reality. I thought of all the hours of physical therapy and somehow weighed that my struggles made my dream of modeling worth more than my friends or my peace of mind. And now that I had actually done what Jason had asked and had gone through it, I realized that it wasn’t. What more would Jason ask me to do in the future? How much lower would I have to sink just to please him? Suddenly modeling wasn’t a career anymore – it was a job.

I laid down on my side and rested my head on the right armrest of the sofa. I loved my mother. But I didn’t want to end up exactly like her, tired, exhausted, and full of regrets about her life. Right now I was still young enough to change the direction my life was headed. Although I wasn’t sure of what it was I could do or where I could go next, all I knew was that I couldn’t stay here. I couldn’t continue to make bad ethical decisions that made me feel horrible about myself, which meant only one thing: I would have to leave JA Style. I would have to let go of this dream of modeling because let’s face it – a dream wasn’t worth one’s health. I tightly pursed my lips together as silent tears started trickling down from the corners of my eyes and onto the sofa. There were three major feelings of pain in this world: losing someone, heartbreak, and learning to let go of a dream. Right now it felt like I was going through all three. I felt like after hearing about the truth behind the accident and how he avoided all my calls, Baekho no longer wished to see me and I couldn’t blame him. It hurt because he was at one point my friend and then, if this situation never would have arisen and I had gotten to tell him how I felt, we might have become something more. But it had happened and now if felt just as devastating as if he were to have passed away because either way, we’d never see each other again. I felt heartbreak because deep down I was still healing from all of the scars that JR had dealt which only seemed to worsen after learning that he had moved away and changed his number. Why did it even matter to me what he did after he left? Hadn’t I said I was done? I was done… but it seemed I still couldn’t stop caring. Even when I was with Baekho I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I always kept comparing the two and it usually ended with Baekho winning and me feeling more bitter and resentful towards JR. But… despite hating him and all that he had done to me, right now as I was trying to cope with the painful choice I was about to make about letting go of my dream and quitting JA Style, I found myself missing him. I tried to imagine what he would say to me at a time like this. Probably nothing. Or if something, maybe a ‘do what makes you happy’ comment – something short, sweet, and to the point. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around the couch cushion, squeezing it tightly. I will. I will do what makes me happy, JR…

 

 

The next morning I rushed to get down to the JA Style studio in attempt to speak to Jason before all of the other models had started arriving for the day. I needed to tell him everything that was on my mind and how much self-resentment and guilt I had experienced because of the choice he forced me to make. I was fully prepared that after I said my peace that Jason would fire me. But it didn’t matter, because I was already planning on quitting if he hadn’t. I couldn’t go on working for a designer that threatened me by dangling my contract over my head and forcing me to make extremely unethical decisions. After taking a quick shower, I quickly dressed in a white v-neck long sleeve shirt and black skinny jeans. I slid into my black vans and threw a black leather jacket on with a pair of black sunglasses then stepped outside and walked to the bus stop at the corner of the street. I rode the bus into town and walked the remainder of the distance to Jason’s studio. As I walked up I happened to notice a flock of reporters that were waiting around and started flashing their cameras at me as they caught a glimpse of me. I held my head down and pretended not to notice them as I was bombarded by dozens of questions. I tried squeezing my way through them to get to the front door only to be completely swarmed. At one point I even felt someone grab my and I shrieked. Just then I was approached by Aron who had stepped into the crowd. The reporters one by one started tearing their focus from me and onto him. Aron ignored them and kept walking, grabbing me by my left elbow and pulling me with him to and through the front door. Once we were inside the shop level of JA Style he released me and traveled up the staircase alone, saying absolutely nothing to me. I stood frozen in place, guilt weighing heavily in my heart.

“Aron, wait-”

“I have nothing to say to you.” Aron abruptly cut me off. I rushed up the stairs after him to the second floor. When he noticed I was following him he spun around and glared at me. “You know what? I take it back. I do have something to say to you. How dare you.”

“Aron-”

“Do you know what it’s like to work hard for so many years to finally reach the Top Model spot, only to read about all of the blog articles talking about the second lead? Do you? Can you even imagine how that sort of thing feels?”

“I’m sorry, Aron, I’m so, so sorry!”

“If you’re sorry, then resign.” Aron muttered back at me underneath his breath. I held my head down and bowed in front of him.

“I will.” I replied with my head still down. Aron stared at me in disbelief.

“Are you ing serious?!” He suddenly asked, practically shouting at me. I stood back up straight and looked at him with wide, startled eyes. “Just because I told you to, you’re really gonna do it? Are you really that pathetic? Was that all that modeling really meant to you that you would just throw it all away because your senior told you to?”

“I-I have my reasons that are my own as to why, b-but it’s not because you told me to.” I replied, shaking. I had never seen Aron this angry at me before. There had been plenty of times where I had ticked him off in the past, but this time he was truly infuriated with me.

“And what are these reasons, Ren?” Minhyun’s voice called out to me from behind as he was climbing up the staircase. He must had just arrived while Aron was screaming at me. I watched as he circled around us and stood by his boyfriend’s side. The both of them were now intently staring at me, expecting the answers to the questions that Minhyun had asked yesterday, only I still wasn’t sure if I could tell them. Even if I quit, there were still ways that Jason could probably go after me and make the rest of my life a living hell. There was no escape.

“I can’t tell you…” I fearfully replied.

“Why not? What are you so much more afraid of than facing us?” Minhyun asked. I met his gaze.

“Jason.” As I whispered his name both Aron and Minhyun suddenly froze before sharing a simultaneous look with one another as if they somehow understood. Aron narrowed his eyes and gave me a dark look.

“What did he do to you?” He asked me. His and Minhyun’s reactions astounded me. I knew that neither one of them cared for Jason to a rather alarming extent after that one time we had taken him to the hospital and I had to volunteer to look after him because no one else would. But to be honest, I had never questioned why they didn’t like him. I simply wrote it off because at times Jason had a rather off putting personality. It never occurred to me until now to wonder if Jason had subjected them to make similar difficult choices. I shook my head.

“I can’t…” My bottom lip trembled as I whispered. Aron worriedly furrowed his brows. He was no longer angry but genuinely concerned about me, even despite what I had done to him.

“You can tell us. We won’t tell anyone, we swear.” Aron reassured me.

“I’ve already said too much…” I whispered again, looking over my shoulder in paranoia that Jason might hear.

“How is what you said considered ‘too much’?” Minhyun asked.

“You don’t understand-” I was suddenly cut off by the sound of the front door downstairs swinging open and closing, followed by loud footsteps traveling up the stairs. We were met by the redhead that appeared to almost be dragging himself up to the second floor. I wasn’t sure if I was imagining things or not but he looked uncharacteristically depressed over something only he seemed to know about. As Jason reached the top he stopped beside me and glanced at the three of us.

“What are you doing? If you’re doing to dawdle, go sit in the lobby and do it. Don’t loiter in front of the stairs.” Jason reprimanded. Although he was scolding us, the tone he used sounded drained of energy. Something was definitely on his mind that was bothering him. Aron and Minhyun awkwardly nodded in unison while I continued to stare at him, trying to read him and sense what was wrong. Upon sensing my eyes on him Jason shifted his gaze towards mine and gave me a weirded-out look. “Do you wish to speak with me?” He asked. I slowly nodded.

“Y-Yes.” I stuttered as I quickly searched for the bravery and confidence I needed to relay my intent to quit to him.

“Office.” Jason shortly replied, turning his back to me and walking towards the room down the hall, expecting me to follow. Before I chased after him I turned back to Aron and Minhyun.

“Ask Jason. Don’t give up and just keep pushing – ask him!” I hurriedly whispered then ran off to meet with Jason in his office. By the time I stepped inside Jason was already standing behind his desk, undressing a mannequin. I watched as he removed the blazer and started folding it up in front of him. He seemed to have the same sullen expression on his face from earlier. He glanced at me then forced a smile on his lips before continuing folding.

“There he is, my favorite model!” Jason replied, acting as if nothing was wrong with him. I quickly closed the door to his office in hopes that Aron and Minhyun hadn’t heard that last remark of his. I stood in front of his desk.

“Jason, we need to talk about yesterday-”

“Yesterday was terrific! You did not disappoint me. In fact, I’m quite-”

“I want to quit.” I replied. Jason suddenly stopped mid-fold for a split second before picking back up again with the same smile on his face.

“-proud of you.” He continued from where he last left off. He placed the garment down on his desk then turned to face me, pretending as if he hadn’t heard my last comment. “I should probably reward you, shouldn’t I? Ah, yes. I told you I’d get your face out in Milan. About that, there’s a photoshoot-”

“Jason, I don’t want to do a photoshoot. Didn’t you hear me? I said I want to-”

“Do you have the cancellation fee?” He asked, suddenly holding his hand out to me. I stared down at it then glimpsed back up at him.

“Not right now, but-”

“Then you still work for me. A contract is a contract.” He bluntly replied, putting his hand back down. I stared at him in disbelief.

“You mean the one you almost shredded the other day?” I coldly asked. Jason sat down in his chair and crossed his legs over one another.

“I choose when you get to leave, not you. If you’re so adamant on leaving, then pay the fine. Since you don’t have it, you’re stuck here.”

“Why are you doing this? Is this some sort of game to you to take advantage of other people?” I asked him. Jason uncrossed his legs and sat forward in his chair.

“Right now you’re all I’ve got left. I’m not losing you too.” He cryptically replied.

“What are you talking about?”

“Nothing that immediately concerns you. You leave the worrying up to me. Now, as I mentioned earlier, you successfully completely the task I had given you and that merits a reward. What can I do for you, Ren, that will make you happy? You don’t want a photoshoot, so what do you want?” He asked me. I stared at him, realizing that I had lost.

“I don’t think there’s anything you can give me that will ever give me peace of mind again.” I replied. I had seen and experienced too much of his other side to ever want to believe in him again.

“Nonsense. You name it and it’s yours. You mentioned Mr. Kim and I made it happen, didn’t I?” He confidently replied, reminding me of Baekho. I shook my head.

“You wouldn’t believe how hard I worked to get here since you’re the one that street casted me, but I really did. One failed audition to the next… That moment you held my contract over the shredder, I thought it was all over and I caved in. I thought turning my back on my friends and getting to live out my dream would be worth it, but it’s not. I feel eternally guilty and apologetic to everyone. I don’t want to live this kind of life of taking shortcuts and handouts. I can’t.”

“You sound like you need some time to clear your head. How about a vacation?” Jason asked me, listening but not really hearing me out. I blankly stared at him.

“A vacation?” I asked and watched as he rose from his chair and circled around his desk, approaching me. He stood behind me and placed both hands on my shoulders, leaning into my right ear.

“Where can I send you that’s far, far away from here and all your worries? Somewhere where for two full weeks, no one can reach you? Ah! I know! How about China? Do you want to go to China? Have you ever been? You simply must visit Beijing-”

“I don’t want to go to China-”

“It’s settled! Go home and pack your bags immediately. I’ll send one of my assistants to deliver you your plane ticket. Go, go!” Jason oddly urged me, pushing me towards the door and shoving me outside after opening it. I quickly spun around to protest once again but he slammed the door in my face, abruptly ending our conversation. I stared at the door in confusion, wondering how a conversation about quitting had quickly turned into one about going on an unwanted vacation. Was it just me, or did it seem like Jason was eager to send me away? During the course of our brief chat he had mentioned something twice about traveling – first Milan, then Beijing. I couldn’t help but wonder what it was up his sleeve that he was trying to pull again. Jason had refused to let me quit. Maybe in his mind he felt this was the next best option he could give me? Either way, I knew too much about him now and didn’t trust him and felt hesitant and a bit wary about leaving. It was almost like he was chasing me out. What didn’t he want me around for or to see? Was he worried that I would talk to Minhyun and Aron about what he did? I couldn’t figure him out and that scared me. But… if I was far away, Jason couldn’t touch me again, could he?

I slowly turned and started making my way through the second floor lobby. As I happened to pass the empty room, I overheard the faint noise of the news from the television hanging on the wall. My feet came to a stop on their own when I heard the reporter say the name ‘Kim Baekho’ and that he would be making an announcement soon at their live coverage of the press conference they were currently at. My heart stung and my chest tightened thinking about him. Several emotions swept over me at once. The most painful one was guilt and remorse. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at his image on the screen without thinking back to the accident. The second strongest emotion was hurt. Baekho still hadn’t returned my phone calls or messages. In fact, he hadn’t even tried contacting me at all since yesterday, meaning that he was avoiding me. I tightly pursed my lips together as I tried to deal with all of this on my own. Did Baekho hate me too now?

I finally built up the courage to glance up at the television screen. The news footage was being shot in what looked like a hotel conference room where a small speaking podium had been set up in front of two blocks of chairs filled with dozens of reporters and photographers. The news source filmed live footage of Baekho walking up to the podium and taking a stand behind it. He waited for a brief moment for the room to grow silent before he began. I blankly stared at the screen. What was he about to announce? Did it have anything to do with Kim Baekho or Kang Baekho? Was it possible that he was going to explain what was going on or who he really was? Or was this about something else? It was too much of a coincidence for something to have happened involving House of Kim last night, especially after he had told my brother that he had ‘forgotten business’ to attend to after Minseok called him out. I continued to watch. Baekho adjusted the microphone in front of him.

“I am Kim Baekho, CEO and head designer of the fashion company House of Kim-”

My heart slowly sank. So this wasn’t about him telling the truth after all, was it? After Minseok had pointed out all the small details of Baekho’s life and after finding that strange book in his house and all the odd occurrences that happened in between, there was just too much that said otherwise about him. Minseok was right. How… just how could Baekho have become Mr. Kim? Although a big part of me wanted him to be because he was mysterious, cool, and charming, the more rational side of me wanted him to just be honest. If he wasn’t Mr. Kim, then someone else was. That meant that he was taking all the unearned credit from the real Mr. Kim, whoever he was. Baekho… you’re not a bad guy. Although I don’t understand why you’re doing this or why you won’t explain, you must have a reason. But avoiding me and the truth won’t solve anything…

“As I am sure that many of you have seen and read by now regarding the article involving House of Kim and up and coming LOTUS Designs, I am here to give confirmation that it is indeed true. Over the years it has been a well-kept secret that I have been training a protégé with the aspiration that he would one day take a hold of House of Kim when the day came that I can no longer. But as time passed by, his talent grew to be far superior than that of his mentor. When I came to fully realize this, I knew I had to let him go. Not out of jealousy, but of goodwill. His designs, which grew out of an inspiration for House of Kim, took on a distinct style of its own and I thought that I would be doing the world a disservice by keeping his designs locked up rather than to allow them to see the light of day, so I released him so that he could spread his wings and soar. From the looks of it, that’s exactly what he’s doing. In the future expect to see some amazing new things from LOTUS Designs and I ask that you give my apprentice your full out support. Thank you.”

“Mr. Kim! Can you give us a name of your apprentice and the supposed designer of LOTUS Designs?” A reporter hurriedly asked him before Baekho could walk away from the podium. Baekho smiled slightly.

“You will see soon enough.” He vaguely responded before slightly tilting his head down and bowing then leaving the room. I turned away from the television with furrowed brows, deeply concerned. An apprentice? What apprentice? Never had I once even heard him mention anything about an apprentice… Unless… I froze. I thought back to the book I had found on his shelf that had almost seemed like a study guide for someone else. Had Baekho really been training someone else to become Mr. Kim after all? But… Kang Baekho – the accident… None of this added up! I angrily gripped my right hand into a fist. Someone was lying to me. And if they weren’t, then they were definitely keeping secrets from me. Jason, Baekho, JR… every single one of them had things they couldn’t or didn’t want to tell me and I was sick of it. I was tired of being thrown around in a loop of secrets. I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I stormed out of the second floor lobby and rushed down the stairs, tearing through the exit in the shop level. Maybe I did need to go on this vacation and get away from all of these people at least for a little while.

I took the bus back home. When I arrived, I tore through the door, swinging it wide open and slamming it shut behind me. I marched straight to my room where I stopped directly in front of my closet and dug out my medium-sized suitcase. I grabbed it then heavily threw it on top of my bed, ping it open. I turned back around to my closet and angrily grabbed a bunch of clothes that were still on the hanger and messily stuffed it inside. I grabbed several pairs of jeans and a couple pairs of shoes then attempted to zip the suitcase back up but was met with a struggle. I shrieked. As I was about to attempt to zip it up again, I heard a knock at my door. I walked away from my bedroom and down the hall where I answered it. Just as Jason had promised, he had sent his assistant to deliver me an envelope stuffed with a plane ticket. I took it from her and graciously thanked her before watching her leave. Once she was gone I shut the door and walked back to my bedroom with the envelope in hand. I tore it open to reveal a two-way trip valid for two weeks. I stared down at the destination: Beijing. I scoffed then threw the ticket on the bed then climbed up on top of my suitcase and sat on it, using my weight to fully close it and zip it up. Once I had succeeded I hopped off and grabbed my phone charger that was currently plugged into the wall. I shoved it into an outside pocket on the suitcase then put it on the floor. I pulled out the extending handle and rolled the suitcase with me down the hall and out the front door, completely disregarding the plane ticket back on my bed in my bedroom.

 

 

JR’s POV

I awoke bright and early the next morning, probably for the first time in a very long time. After eating a light breakfast I showered and got dressed to go outside. I was to meet with the rest of my models at a club that I had reserved for a day of filming for the opening video to my fashion show. Dambi had already texted me that she, Raina, Lizzy, Nana and the others were already there waiting for me to arrive. I pulled on a pair of black jeans, a black shirt and a blazer. Before leaving the apartment I stopped in front of my bathroom sink mirror and ran a brush through my hair, parting three-fourths of my straightened black bangs slightly to the side. Once I finished making sure I purposely looked nice, I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled to calm my anxious nerves. Today I would be revealing my identity to my models. Although they had already signed as a part of their contracts not to disclose anything about the designer behind LOTUS Designs, I was still nervous. I was sure that many of these models would recognize me as being a regular blog journalist that had once frequented all of the fashion shows. Deep down I was terrified that they might take one look at me and reject me and walk away. As for Nana, Raina, and Lizzy… would they be disappointed once they knew too? I couldn’t predict what might happen and for me that was downright terrifying.

Once I had finally gathered my wits I left the apartment and made my way down to the parking garage where my newly purchased black VLF Force 1 supercar sat parked in its spot. Dambi had convinced me that fashion designers didn’t regularly take the bus or public transport and that I would have to buy a car. One day she had visited me with a magazine that I really didn’t want to be bothered to look at and I opened up to a random page and blindly pointed to which vehicle I ‘wanted,’ which turned out to be this one. To be honest I didn’t even want a car. I was happy taking the bus. But I realized that she was right. Even Jason had his own car, although not exactly a supercar. I climbed inside and started the engine. I pulled out then shifted gears and then sped down the road on my way to the filming location. When I arrived several minutes later, I parked outside of the venue and climbed out of my car. I hesitated for a brief moment as I approached the front doors. No, I had to do this. There was no more running, no more hiding who I was anymore. I was no longer in high school where everybody judged and bullied me because I was different. It was time to stand up and be proud of who I was.

I pushed through the two doors and entered the darkened night club. There were two levels – a balcony and the basement level downstairs. I stepped down the stairwell and started towards the club, observing my surroundings. The floors were stained concrete and the walls were painted black. At the center of room hung several disco balls from the ceiling. Towards the back of the club sat the DJ audio booth and behind it several large LED display screens. In front of the audio booth sat the large king’s throne that had been used in the first pictorial for LOTUS Designs. Off to the right of the room was the bar and to the left there were several booths that large parties usually reserved for bottle service. Aside from the actual club staff that were being paid double to not only do their job, but to act as movie extras, the filming crew and the handful of models that had been signed to LOTUS Designs, the club was mostly empty. My presence didn’t go by unnoticed when I entered the room. Nana, who had been standing in a group with Lizzy and Raina was the first to tap them and point me out. The two other girls turned and glanced at me. They were all dressed in their wardrobes, all consisting of items from my new line. The three of them wore similar black and silver outfits. Nana was wearing a flashy silver crop halter top and short black shorts with black pumps. Lizzy was dressed in a silver crop camisole and a short black skirt with black heeled ankle boots while Raina wore a sleeveless silver mini dress with black thigh high boots. A surprised but cheerful smile spread across Lizzy’s lips and she ran up to me while I heard several of the other models whispering behind them.

“JR!” Lizzy exclaimed as she hugged me. She excitedly pulled away and then looked me down from head to toe. “Your clothes – and your hair!” She patted the side of my black hair. “You look good! What are you doing here?” As she asked me this Nana and Raina slowly came up and joined us. Nana placed her right hand on her hip.

“Are you here to film too? I didn’t know you were into playing movie extras. I’m shocked but glad you’re here.” Nana replied.

“So you’re the one male actor from the script who tries to hit on us! Oh, how fun! Come, stand with us while we wait. We’re waiting on the surprise visit from LOTUS Designs CEO.” Raina said, taking me by my wrist and leading me back towards the bar with them before I could protest. Nana pointed to the pair of large headphones dangling from her neck.

“I get to play the part of the DJ.” Nana proudly replied.

“Listen-” I tried to speak up but it seemed no one was listening.

“I’m the girl you’re supposed to hit on at the bar!” Raina teased me.

“And I’m the girl you try to find in the crowd.” Lizzy winked. “Although Dambi-unnie’s part is more fun. I read her script. Since she’s the Top Model for LOTUS Designs, she gets to play the part of the confident woman who seeks you out and wins your heart in the end.”

“Guys… listen…” I meekly replied. All three of them paused and stared at me, waiting for me to speak up. I continued. “I’m actually not here as a movie extra…”

“You’re not? Then why are you here?” Nana gave me a surprised, curious look. I slightly shook my head then left them as I walked towards the audio booth at the back of the room. The entire time I was silently gathering up the courage I would need to make the announcement. I stood in front of the throne and nervously cleared my throat and called the room’s attention towards me.

“Everyone, it’s nice to finally meet you and see each other’s faces. For those of you who don’t already know me, my name is Kim Jonghyun. I am the CEO and head designer behind the fashion brand LOTUS Designs.” As I said this the room grew deafly silent. I looked over to see the three stunned looks painted across Raina, Lizzy, and Nana’s faces. I continued. “Before you ask, several of you might have heard about me from the news recently about being House of Kim’s Kim Baekho’s secret apprentice. This is true. At one point we did work together, but not anymore. Moving on, I called you all here today to help me film the opening movie that is to be played at LOTUS Designs’ debut fashion show coming up in less than two weeks. I hope we can all work well together from here on out. With that being said, let’s begin.” I replied, quickly downplaying the apprentice rumors and letting the filming director take over. He stepped out onto the floor carrying his camera in both hands.

“Scene one, I need a shot of Nana entering the club and walking towards the audio booth!” The director ordered, snapping Nana out of her shocked trance as she stared up at me at the back of the room. She awkwardly nodded then rushed towards the staircase and climbed it. “I need an empty set! All models to the back of the room! Quiet on the set and… ACTION!” He instructed. I walked with the rest of my models until we were out of the camera’s frame. I stopped beside Dambi who was dressed in a flashy silver one strapped halter top and black shorts with her short brown hair styled boyishly. She stood quietly watching with her arms folded across her chest and a smile on her face.

‘I’m proud of you.’ Dambi silently mouthed these words to me. I slightly smiled and nodded before continuing to watch Nana film her first scene. Raina and Lizzy both stared at me from the side. I could tell that they wanted to say something but couldn’t due to the circumstances. This silence of theirs lasted until the very last minute of filming. Despite shooting several scenes together with them – many which were somewhat awkward for both parties involved, they and the other models handled everything with the utmost professionalism. To be honest I was somewhat surprised that not a single one of them had reacted with resistance when I had revealed my true identity. I was expecting for at least someone to walk out and quit or think that I was joking. But nothing happened. It appeared that the thoughts and worries I had inside of my head were a lot worse than actual reality. No one laughed at me. Everyone was shocked, but that was to be expected. Once I had cleared up who I really was, everything went on as normal and everyone all worked together to get the filming done. I had to admit that although it had been a nerve wrecking experience at first, by the end of it I felt as if I had a big weight lifted off my shoulders.

After filming wrapped up, as I was thanking all of the models for their hard work I made sure to remind them of the silence clause in their contracts before sending them all on their way. Once the club was empty, just as I had predicted, Nana, Lizzy and Raina all stayed behind to talk to me while Dambi and I helped clean up. The three of them approached then stood directly in front of me and alternated their gazes between me and Dambi. Nana placed her hands on her hips and pursed her lips together before hesitantly speaking.

“You’re… I mean… you’re our boss?” Nana asked with a look of confusion on her face. I nervously glanced at Dambi who gave me a reassuring gaze. I awkwardly turned back to face Nana, trying not to panic or lose my cool. I had been doing so well up until this point.

“I know it’s a bit strange… If you have a problem with it-”

“No, there’s no problem, just…” Her voice trailed off, sounding unsure. “I had no idea that you were even still designing these days. I remembered seeing some of your drawings back in high school. But then after that you started writing for all the fashion blogs here in Seoul, didn’t you?”

I slowly nodded. “Yes.” I replied. Lizzy eyed me suspiciously before glancing down at her own outfit.

“I wondered why these clothes seemed a bit too familiar. I thought to myself ‘I’ve worn these clothes before.’ Well, not the same, per say, but definitely something similar.” Lizzy said and was elbowed roughly by Raina in the stomach.

“Lizzy!” She scolded. Lizzy winced but ignored her. She suddenly gave me a very serious look.

“JR, are you really Kim Baekho’s assistant?” Lizzy asked me. I stared at her with wide eyes.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I nervously asked. My heart was racing.

“I was trying to be nicer about it, but the same thought occurred to me too. All three of us have modeled for House of Kim before so of course we noticed some similarities. Of course if you were Kim Baekho’s assistant then similarities are bound to happen and can’t be helped, but… I just can’t escape this feeling that…” Nana tilted her head to the side. Raina sheepishly glanced up at me.

“I feel strange too.” Raina admitted.

“A-About what?” I pretended to be cool and not know what they were talking about even though I knew that I had just been caught by them. It was true that they had modeled for me before in a show – they just didn’t know it. And since they had, they were very well familiar with House of Kim’s designs. There were some things about the way I designed that stuck with me that I couldn’t change, just like a finger print. Lizzy furrowed her brows.

“I remember seeing your drawings back then too. I never thought much about them in the following years, but now that I think of it, even back before House of Kim came into existence, you had a similar style in your sketches…” Lizzy stated.

“Same…” Raina said. Dambi stepped forward.

“Girls, let’s put a stop to this. Just take things as they are now-” She started but I interrupted.

“Noona, enough.” I replied. Dambi glanced down at me, shocked. She paused for a moment.

“Are you sure?” She asked me. I nodded.

“I can’t hide it anymore when they’ve caught me.” I replied, receiving three stunned looks in return. Nana placed her right hand over and stared at me with wide eyes while Lizzy slightly tilted her head to the side in confusion and Raina nervously bit her bottom lip.

“Does that mean that you’re…” Lizzy’s voice trailed off. I silently nodded.

“I’m ‘Mr. Kim.’ Or at least was, but not anymore.” The three of them froze.

“How…? Why?” Lizzy asked.

“Jason tricked him just as he once tricked me.” Dambi replied, standing up for me.

“Then that means Kim Baekho-” Nana began to say but I cut her off.

“Is nothing but an actor, a stand-in that Jason tricked me into believing that I needed and used both mine and his money to pay for. Little did I know at the time that this would be Jason’s method of ripping House of Kim apart from the inside.” I explained.

“You poor thing…” Raina sadly replied. I shook my head.

“Please don’t feel sorry for me… It only makes what he did to me feel that much real, and that’s not what I’m here for. House of Kim underneath Jason and Baekho is done for – there’s no hope of saving it. But there is plenty of hope for LOTUS Designs, a company Jason can’t even touch. And just because he can’t touch me doesn’t mean that I can’t touch JA Style.”

“LOTUS Designs is your revenge then?” Nana asked. I apologetically hung my head down low.

“I understand if any of you feel cheated or deceived by me and I’m deeply sorry for not coming clean sooner… I just didn’t know how. After I had been knocked off my feet I didn’t know how to function for a while and stayed down. But once you’re already down, the only other direction to go is up. Once I was able to stand back up on my own two feet, I started planning with the help of Dambi about how I could not only get back at Jason, but put a stop to his actions while teaching him a lesson.”

“And the idea of us modeling for you…?” Nana asked again. Dambi guiltily stepped forward.

“It was all my doing. It was my idea, just like how JR never asked me to come out of retirement for him, I volunteered. Since I knew how well a job you did with working for him before and how much you three seemed to adore him whenever he visited my old dance studio, I took it upon myself to convince you to take a leap of faith and sign with LOTUS Designs. It is not a fake company nor is it one built solely on revenge. Everything – JR’s vision and ability – is 100% real. LOTUS Designs is expected to wipe out both JA Style and House of Kim in terms of talent and make a name for itself in the worldwide fashion market, just as how JR has once done for House of Kim in the past. Things have changed now – he wasn’t able to take credit for his work in the past, but now he can and I just know he’ll do great things with this new opportunity in life for him. Trust in him. Believe in him. JR will not steer you or any of us wrong as long as you just have the same confidence in him as I’ve always had…” She emotionally pleaded the three girls who all stood silent and in shock as Dambi started to tear up and sniffle.

“Unnie… we never said that we didn’t believe in him or his ability. Don’t cry…” Raina stepped forward and embraced her into a hug. Dambi hunched downward to return the shorter girl’s hug but ended up crying on her shoulder. After hearing her touching speech and then hearing her break down I started to tear up as well. Nana noticed me bringing my right hand up to wipe the corners of my eyes and stared at me for a brief moment before a small smirk spread across her lips. She reached her left arm out and wrapped it behind my shoulders, pulling me into her.

“Come here, you.” Nana replied, giving me a hug. “You went through so much, then and now, on your own when you never had to, you fool. If you ever needed help all you had to do was ask. We would have been there for you in a heartbeat.”

“Yeah. It doesn’t matter to us if you’re the real Mr. Kim or not. To us you’ll always be that talented kid from high school that everyone was secretly jealous of, always moving on to do one great thing after another in life. And hey, if I can help you, that’s awesome! I love the fact that you’re our new boss!” Lizzy reassured me. Raina looked over at us while still comforting Dambi.

“Totally! This will probably be the most fun at a job the three of us will have ever had!” Raina teased. The room was filled with giggles from all four women. Dambi finally stood up straight from Raina’s shoulder. Lizzy suddenly took this opportunity to wrap her arms around me and Nana while reaching over for Dambi and Raina.

“GROUP HUG!” Lizzy declared.

“Oh, god, you’re so lame!” Nana protested then laughed as everyone squeezed together briefly then pulled apart. Now that the mood had been lifted, Nana turned to me again. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with us. None of us will say anything, right girls?” She asked, turning to both Raina and Lizzy. They both nodded in unison.

“Nope!” Lizzy replied.

“My lips are sealed!” Raina promised. I stared at all four of them, secretly touched.

“I… I had been so worried that everyone would reject me-”

“Pfft! Why would people reject you? Your clothes speak for themselves. You, my good looking friend, have talent. You always have.” Lizzy smiled, reassuring me. Nana turned to her with a look of disbelief written across her face.

“Is there no one you won’t hit on?” She asked her. Lizzy pouted.

“I’m lonely! Sue me!” She shot back, looking ready to fight her. Raina rolled her eyes.

“Don’t view House of Kim as a loss, but a life lesson. From it you learned what it takes to run a successful business.” Raina suggested. Dambi smiled down on me.

“And don’t forget the other lesson you learned: how to stand tall and be proud of yourself. If you had stayed at House of Kim you never would have thought about revealing yourself to the world and gaining the recognition you deserve. Although Jason’s an , he’s partially responsible for giving you the push that you needed. It’s regrettable that you lost House of Kim, but perhaps it was because you were destined for something even greater. Take it from me, when one door closes, another one is sure to open. You can do this, kiddo. You’ve got a major support system here.” Dambi said, patting me on my back. I smiled and nodded.

“I can do this.”

 

 

After driving home from filming, I kicked off my shoes at the front entrance then sat down on the couch in front of my TV. I grabbed the remote and turned it on, throwing my head back against the backrest. The sounds of the late night news started pouring out from my speakers. I closed my eyes in attempt to relax as I listened in on all of the events from today that I had missed while shooting my introduction video for the show. As I felt myself starting to drift off into sleep my attention was suddenly caught by one particular name being mentioned on TV. My eyes snapped back open and I held my head back up and stared at the news coverage of a press conference that Baekho had called on at noon. I froze and furrowed my brows in confusion. What in the world…? I continued to listen on to the previously recorded footage. I heard Baekho’s message to me and the rest of the world concerning Mr. Kim’s supposed apprentice and the up and coming fashion company LOTUS Designs. When he finished I grabbed the remote and turned the TV off and stared blankly down at the carpet. I had been sure of it the previous day. Jason was supposed to have remained silent. He and Baekho were supposed to be quietly planning their next move instead. Baekho wasn’t supposed to go on live television and not only admit to the rumors, but support them and ask people to wish me luck as well. What was Jason planning? Was he even planning anything? By having Baekho confirm the rumors, it was practically like Jason throwing in the towel and giving up. No… After all that he did, Jason wouldn’t just give up without a fight. He wouldn’t go down this easily… He had to be up to something – he always was.

Minutes later my attention was suddenly disrupted by the sound of Dambi punching in the security code from outside of my front door. After accidently messing up and punching in the wrong number, the door buzzed and remained locked. I abruptly stood up from the couch and hurried over to the door where I pulled it open to reveal Dambi hunched over with her index finger extended, a distraught look on her face. She stood back up straight and stared at me with urgency in her eyes.

“Did you just watch-”

“I did.” I quickly cut her off.

“I heard it on the radio as I was driving home. What do you think this means? What are you going to do?” Dambi asked in a panic. I shook my head.

“I don’t know what this means.” I replied. Dambi grabbed both sides of the back of her head. Without words she stepped inside and slipped out of her shoes, scurrying over to the living room in a hurry.

“Do you think this is Jason’s doing or Baekho’s?” She asked, turning around to face me. I shrugged.

“I want to say Baekho’s. It sounds a lot like his own doing, but with Jason you can never be too certain…”

“You don’t really think that he’s planning on giving up so soon, do you?”

“It’s safer to assume not.” I replied. Dambi started walking back and forth across the entire span of the living room before coming to a halt.

“We need to find out what he’s up to. I’ll go-”

“And do what, noona?” I questioned her. Dambi paused. I shook my head. “Are you going to walk up to JA Style and personally meet with him? Do you think he’d let you after the history of physical violence between you two? He’ll call the cops on you for sure. No, you’re not going. You’re my Top Model. I can’t risk putting you in danger or you obtaining a criminal record. He’s already managed to mess up your life once and I’m sure he can do it again.”

“Are you saying that you’re going to meet with him instead then?” Dambi stared at me in wild disbelief. I nodded.

“What else are we going to do?” I asked her. Dambi frowned for a second before her eyes suddenly grew big as she thought of something.

“We can ask Aron to-”

“To do what? You forget that Aron is a big part of this mess too, whether he knows it or not. There’s not a doubt in my mind that Aron being bumped up to Jason’s Top Model wasn’t without purpose. Forget it. I’ll meet with him.” I replied, walking towards my private cell phone and unplugging it from the charger in the wall. Dambi rushed up to me and wrapped her hands around mine.

“I can’t let you… I don’t trust that man anymore, not after all that he’s done to me, to you, to Ren…” Dambi said, worriedly staring into my eyes. I softly smiled at her.

“It’s okay. I had a backup plan just in case Jason tried to pull something else.” I said to reassure her. She gave me a startled look.

“You did?”

“When you have nothing but time to sit around and think about how you’re going to get your revenge, you learn to have a plan for everything that might possibly go wrong. I wasn’t expecting Jason to say something, but that’s not to say that I didn’t think of a potential, hypothetical situation or prepare for it.” I replied. Dambi placed both hands on my shoulders and violently shook me.

“You had a plan all along?! You have a mouth – tell me things, you brat!” She scolded me. “Why must you constantly worry me like this?!”

“I’m going to text him now. I’d appreciate it if you stopped shaking me so I can type.” I calmly replied. Dambi awkwardly stopped then released me, stepping away and turning her back to me. She folded her arms across her chest and huffed while I typed and sent a short, brief message to Jason’s phone which read: Let’s meet for a drink. Bongcha Tent Bar, Myeongdong, near Lotte Department Store.

“I’m going to go to the hair salon. You’re making my hair prematurely turn grey.” Dambi continued to huff. I approached her from behind and wrapped my arms around her waist, hugging her from behind.

“Relax and don’t be mad, noona. I’ve got it all under control.” I replied, already having everything planned out. Jason wouldn’t risk not showing up to meet me. He probably had just as many things to talk to me about as I did. For instance, he probably wanted to know about LOTUS Designs and the purpose behind my new company. If he didn’t have any questions to ask me, surely he’d show up just to scream and yell at me. Either ways, I knew he was as curious about me as I was about him. Dambi placed her hands down on mine and squeezed them.

“You call me if something happens, you understand me?” She asked, sounding deeply concerned for me. I unwrapped my arms from around her and pulled away, releasing her. I turned and grabbed my car keys from my pocket.

“I understand.” I replied then walked out with her. When we made it all the way down to the parking garage we both climbed into our own respective cars and parted ways with Dambi returning home and I on my way to Myeongdong. The reason why I arranged to meet him there was because the only people that were out at this hour were drunks. Even if someone overheard our discussion or found out who I was, nobody would believe their claims anyways. I drove for several minutes. After catching what felt like nearly every single red light in the city, I finally arrived to my destination. I managed to find a space in another parking garage then walked the rest of the way towards the surrounding neighborhood near Lotte Department Store. When I stepped inside of Bongcha’s Tent Bar, there were only a few other people sitting at random tables scattered about. It seemed like I was the first to arrive. I took a seat at a table in the corner and ordered a soju while I waited. I wasn’t much of a drinker but I had invited him our for a drink, hadn’t I? I wondered how everything would play out. Upon seeing me, would Jason try to intimidate and manipulate me again, thinking I was still the same easy target I once was? And how would I handle it? I was a bit nervous. I needed to settle my nerves before he arrived though. In order for this plan to work I need the utmost confidence in myself. It was time to put all of those lessons on standing up for myself from Dambi to work. After waiting for almost an hour, Jason still hadn’t showed up. Was he even going to at this rate? I started losing my patience with him and began to feel somewhat offended. I angrily stared down at the table. Was the reason why Jason wasn’t here because he thought I was a joke? That would have completely undermined what he had Baekho go on live television to say…

Just as I was about to give up, I was startled out of my own dark thoughts by the sound of someone slamming their phone down on top of the cheap plastic table before loudly sitting down on the stool across from me. I glanced up to see the redhead who looked anything but pleased to see me. Jason narrowed his eyes and glared at me while I returned his gaze. For almost a full minute the two of us had what seemed like a staring competition, neither one of us wanting to be the first to look away. The amount of tension in the air between us was thick. I was determined not to be like my old self in front of him. I wasn’t weak anymore. Jason could no longer do what he wanted and walk all over me like in the past. After a while, just as I had hoped, Jason was the first to crack and look off to his left, scoffing and turning back to face me with an annoyed smile.  

“Text me with an untraceable number, huh? Couldn’t even text you back to tell you I’d be late. Minhyun and Aron were giving me an earful before I left the office.” Jason sourly replied. I felt his eyes staring at my black hair. The last time he had seen me I had been a blonde, curly haired mess compared to the more well put together image I had now. I stared back at him, unfazed.

“That’s the point of having a private phone, isn’t it? To keep the people you don’t want knowing your number from contacting you.” I said. Jason gave me an amused look.

“I see you’ve got jokes.”

“No one’s joking here. I only do that with friends, sorry.” I coldly stated. Jason stared at me, hurt. He forced a smile on his lips then shifted his gaze down at the table. He went silent for about another solid minute before he finally glanced back up at me.

“You’re not an easy man to find when you want to disappear. You changed your number, you moved… you’ve completely adapted to a secretive lifestyle. Don’t tell me this was all because of me.” He replied. I laughed at his poor attempt to flatter himself. Although part of it was true, the other part was for personal growth and self-improvement. But I didn’t want to talk to him about my life. He wasn’t worth my time. The fact that I arranged to meet him for the first time in almost half a year was proof enough that I didn’t even want to breathe the same air as him.

“I had my reasons.”

“And what were those?” Jason gave me an intimidating look-down. He was already beginning to use his old tactics again. “So you could become as cool and handsome a designer as Baekho?” He said, pointing out that he had indeed noticed my new hair and change in wardrobe style. I knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to belittle me down into believing that I was nothing, a strategy he had used before when he first took away my company. It might have worked that time, but not now and never again.

“Don’t patronize me.”

Jason leaned back, somewhat surprised. “My, aren’t you rather defensive?”

“When one goes up against someone like you, he has to be.” I shadily shot back. Jason blankly stared at me for a moment in silence almost as if he were trying to decipher the meaning behind my last comment. Apparently when it must have clicked with him that I too was planning something he leaned closer to the table.

“What do you want, JR? Why did you call me all the way out here after all this time?” He finally asked. Now it was time to get down to business, the real reason why I wanted to meet with him aside from trying to figure out what he was up to. It was a bit amusing though. The last time I had met face to face with him, I was terrified of him. Now that some time had passed between then, I felt nothing but annoyance and anger towards him. His intimidation factor was long gone. Looking at him now, I almost felt foolish for ever having felt inferior towards someone like him. Jason was nothing. He was just another crooked businessman living in Seoul.

“Has it ever really been about what I wanted?” I said and blinked, leaning closer to the table. “Last I checked, everything’s always been about you.”

“What do you want?” Jason repeated himself. I stared at him.

“Everything.” I warned. Jason froze and gave me a startled look.

“Excuse me?” He asked, almost in disbelief that I had the nerve to talk to him the way that I did. For a brief second I started having second thoughts about what I was doing here. No, don’t let him see you waver. The second he spots even a glimmer of hesitation, that’s all he needs to turn this situation around.

“What? You don’t think I deserve it?” I boldly asked him. “You’re not going to give it to me? Why did you come out here then?”

“JR…” Jason replied, sounding stunned. He had a strange look on his face as he glanced at me from across the table. In fact he almost seemed confused by my newfound behavior. “You’ve-”

“Changed?” I furrowed my brows. “And who do you think is responsible for that, Jason?” As I said this Jason turned his head to the left and away to avoid making further eye contact with me. He knew he was guilty and probably couldn’t stand it.

“Enough of this. This isn’t what I agreed to come out here for.” Jason defensively shot back.

“The fact that you knew it was me texting you from my unlisted number speaks volumes about how much you’ve been thinking about me. Why did you come out? To apologize?” I continued to drill him. Jason turned back and glared at me with angry eyes which I ignored. “I saw your puppet’s speech from earlier. It was very convincing. I could almost feel your sincerity… if there ever was any left in you.” Jason gritted his teeth.

“Everything Baekho said is the truth. I know what you’re thinking and it’s probably the reason why you wanted to meet with me, isn’t it? What is Jason up to now? Well allow me to save you all the time and effort of snooping around and spying on me and tell you exactly how it is: nothing.”

“Nothing?” I raised an intrigued brow.

“I have zero intentions of retaliating. I’m done. I can’t keep up with this sort of hellish lifestyle anymore. I’m sure you might have heard that I was in the hospital. My health is failing me and I’m tired. The reason Baekho said what he did is because from now on I only plan on focusing my attention on JA Style. I don’t hold any interest towards House of Kim or LOTUS Designs. I only want to focus on my own company from here on out.” Jason replied. I smiled at him after he finished telling me his story before pouring him a glass of soju. He stared at me in disbelief as I looked back at him, waiting for him to pour me one. He grudgingly grabbed the bottle and sloppily poured me a glass. I gracefully took it from him and slightly bowed my head before bringing the shot glass up to my lips and downing it. I quietly placed it back down on the table.

“I’m only just beginning though.” I calmly stated a much clearer and personal declaration of war, glaring across the table at him. I watched as Jason suddenly tensed up.

“You’re bluffing. You’re just trying to scare me.” Jason replied. Although he sounded angry my ears were detecting a slight hint of fear in his tone. I smiled at him. At one point in time I was in Jason’s position and he was in mine. Oh, how the tables have turned now.

“Is it working?” I asked and was met by a hesitant pause. I chuckled. “I see it has. Your health is of no concern to me – you did it to yourself by the rotten way you chose to live. If I was to care about you it would mean that we are friends, something which we are no longer. But unfortunately it’s not a bluff and I think that deep down, you don’t think it is either. Why else would you be worried?” I paused. “Ah! It’s about my new company and the consequences it will have on you, isn’t it? You must have known the second you heard about Mr. Kim’s apprentice that I would be coming for you.”

“Consequences?” Jason suddenly seemed scared. Apparently I had hit the nail right on the head. The real reason why Jason had met with me was because he was panicking.

“Of course! You didn’t think that you could just rip a multi-billion dollar company from underneath my feet and hope to get away with it, did you? That’s called ‘stealing,’ Jason. Something you’re pretty good at.” I explained to him as if he had the mindset of a third grader.

“JR-”

“Stealing and manipulating from the mentally and emotionally weak – it’s your biggest strong point. But why is that? Perhaps it’s because those groups of people are the least likely to stand up for themselves or retaliate. You squeeze your way in, befriend them, and when they’re least expecting it you backstab them, never believing or expecting that any of them could turn around and do the same thing back to you.” I ominously warned. Jason’s eyes grew wide in fear.

“You’re not going to… you wouldn’t touch JA Style-”

“Why wouldn’t I?” I asked him. “Of course I could have gotten the cops involved, but even jail would be too good for a person like you. No, I prefer a more personal punishment. It’s more satisfying, to say the least.”

“It’s everything that I’ve ever owned – it’s all I have in this world.” Jason protested.

“So was House of Kim.” I muttered, feeling zero remorse for him. Jason guiltily shifted his gaze down towards the table again. I stared at him for several minutes in silence during which not once did Jason ever look up at me. During our meeting he never once actually mentioned that he was sorry, so it was clear to me that he only came out of the fear of retaliation. Him having Baekho wish me good luck had been nothing but media play. As for his health, it probably really was the guilt eating away at him, but it wasn’t because he felt apologetic towards me. I could more than likely sit here all night and assume a thousand different reasons, never knowing the real one behind him taking House of Kim away from me, unless… “Why?” I suddenly asked. Jason finally glanced up at me.

“Why what?”

“Why did you do it?” I finally asked him after all of this time. “Was it really out of hatred? Did you really hate me that much to do something like this to me?” Jason gripped his right fist on top of the table as he tried to come to terms with actually telling the truth for once.

“Yes.” He shortly responded. I paused. A wave of hurt washed over me.

“I know I’ve asked this once before in the past, but I want to ask it again. At one point were we ever truly even friends?” I asked, my heart starting to ache as I recalled all of the good times we once shared before the fallout. Jason glanced down again.

“I think both of us know the answer to that questi-”

“Just say it!” I demanded, slamming my fist down on the table and earning several looks from the drunken people scattered around the inside of the tent. I ignored them and kept my focus on Jason whose bottom lip began to noticeably tremble.

“Of course we were!” He finally admitted. “You idiot! Why else would I have given you all of my plus one invitations? Why else would I have invited you to all of my shows?! You were my first and only friend when I moved from China and started building my new office here in Seoul!”

“Then when? When was it that it went all wrong?”

“When I realized that no matter what I did, I’d never surpass you in terms of skill and abilities.” Jason surprised me by suddenly admitting. I stared at him with wide eyes full of shock, taken aback. This was my first time ever hearing him mention it. “… It didn’t take long to find out who you really were once I arrived here. You really at hiding it in the beginning. The only reason I found out was because I found a bunch of loose threads and pieces of scrap material lining the entirety of your ty apartment. House of Kim is a world renounced brand, one that I even remembered hearing about back in China. When I confronted you about it and you didn’t deny it, it pissed me off. How… how could someone like you be someone like him? It just didn’t make sense. But I went with it and took it as an opportunity to learn from you. But over time it became more difficult to remain your friend. You just kept becoming more and more successful while I only ever stayed in the same spot… I couldn’t stand it!”

“You were… jealous?” I asked in disbelief. Jason glanced up at me and dryly laughed.

“Why? Does knowing that the infamous Chinese designer Fu Long Fei was once jealous of you make you feel like a bigger man now?”

“Of course it doesn’t. That would make me exactly like you if it did.”

“Then don’t take JA Style away from me.” Jason replied. “Because if you did, it would make you exactly like me.”

“Who said it was JA Style that I wanted?” I darkly asked. Jason stared at me in shock.

“Then what is it that you-”

“You touched Ren.”

“What?” Jason paused for a moment to think before giving me a startled look. “Did he tell you what I-”

“He didn’t need to. I’ve got eyes, Jason. I’m not blind. I know what you did to Ren and I know what you did to Aron. You promised. You promised if I did what you said, you’d leave him alone but you didn’t.”

“What does Ren have to do with anything?” Jason asked, frustrated and confused. “Even so, he’s my model to do with what I please!”

“He is not a piece of property!” I shot back.

“You do not tell me how to run my business, do you understand me?” Jason darkly threatened.

“Then give him to me.” I simply replied. Jason stared at me with wide eyes.

“What?” He asked as if I had asked an absurd question. I repeated myself.

“If he’s a piece of property then give him to me.” I replied.

“No.” Jason immediately shot back.

“You asked me what I wanted.”

“He’s mine.”

“Tear up Ren’s contract or find out just how much of an impact I can make on JA Style.”

“You’ll never do it. You talk a big game right now, but you’ll always ever be the same feeble and easily intimidated JR!” Jason snapped at me. I leaned in closer to the table and narrowed in the distance between us, looking him straight in the eyes to let him know just how serious I was.

“I’m going to enjoy taking back everything and watching you suffer. If you think I didn’t know what I was doing with House of Kim, you’ll be surprised to know how much I do know about what I’m doing with LOTUS Designs.” I threatened. Jason’s eyes started turning watery and red as if he were suppressing the urge not to cry. I watched as he reached down with his left hand and placed his hand over his stomach. He glanced up at me.

“You can’t have him too…” His voice pathetically trailed off. I furrowed my brows in confusion as to what he meant by that. Jason continued. “You already took Dambi away from me…” I angrily glared at him as he struck a sudden nerve by mentioning my best friend’s name.

“You took her away from yourself with what you did to her!”

“Do you know how many times I went back and completely revamped my designs after each time she rejected me? All I ever wanted was for her to wear my clothes, but they were never good enough for her!” Jason yelled at me. The same drunken people from before turned around to stare at us but Jason didn’t care. “But your clothes are?” He asked in disbelief.

“And because of that you ruined her career? It was never about the clothes you designed but yourself. She saw what type of greedy, conniving person you were and didn’t want to get involved with someone like you. You have a reputation, Jason! There’s a reason why you can’t expand past the Asian market!”

“Regardless, Ren is my model. I’m the one who found him, I’m the one who’s spent time and resources raising him to become supermodel material. You want him? Get in line. Designers as far as London are offering me hundreds of thousands for him. You’re not the only one who wants him and you’re not taking him away from me. Besides, he’s under contract.” Jason declared. I reached into my pocket for my checkbook then threw it on the table.

“How much do you want to break it?” I asked, determined to get Ren away from him one way or another. I was practically handing him a blank check worth any amount his heart could desire. The monetary consequence didn’t much matter to me. Money had never been a precedence in my life. If he wanted all of my money he could have it because there were always more opportunities in life to make more of it later on.

“More than what you’ve got.” Jason immediately retorted.

“That’s a laugh.” I replied. My reaction didn’t sit well with Jason as he grabbed my checkbook and threw it back at me.

“Give it up already!”

“I won’t.”

“Even if I did shred his contract, do you honestly believe he’ll walk back to you with open arms? Do you know to what extent you hurt him? Even I heard about it!” Jason declared.

“It’s none of your concern what went on between us. Whether he agrees to join my company or goes to another one, at least he’ll be away from you and your influence.” I steadily replied. Jason rolled his eyes.

“Just move on! He already has. He’s quite content with Baekho right now so you have no place. Just let go, accept the fact that whatever was between you two is over now and focus on running your own business and leave mine, with Ren included, alone!” Jason shot back. He was purposely trying to agitate me with Baekho but it wasn’t going to work. I already knew something was going on between them, I had seen it with my own two eyes at the mall the other day. If he thought he was going to try to break me by telling me old news, he was gravely mistaken.

“I’ve given you my terms. It’s either Ren or your company. Choose wisely, but don’t say that I didn’t warn you. You have exactly one week before I start making any movements.” I said as I rose to my feet. Jason suddenly reached forward and grabbed me by my right arm as I was about to walk away.

“Wait!” Jason pleaded. I stopped and glanced down at him, waiting for him to continue. “At least tell me what you plan to do!” He desperately replied. I shook my arm from out of his grasp.

“Telling you would only grant you mercy, something which you don’t deserve.”

“JR!”

“You have the opportunity to save yourself. If I were you, I’d take it before things start becoming more ‘difficult’ for you.” I replied then took a few steps forward before pausing again. I kept my gaze forward. “He’s just one model. There were models before Ren and there will be many after. But ask yourself… is one model worth your entire life’s work? Goodbye, Jason.” I replied then stepped through the exit flaps of the ten. I started making my way back to the parking garage, leaving Jason behind. He didn’t follow me.

As I walked forward I forcibly held my head up high. My palms were cold and clammy and I had been sweating the entire time I sat in front of Jason. Although I was no longer afraid of him and I felt I did great, it was still a nerve-racking experience to have to stand up for myself and threaten him. Although I had wanted nothing more than to hurt him the same way he hurt me, Dambi’s words from the other day had reached me, leaving me feel unsettled. She was right. The purpose of all of this was to teach Jason a lesson while getting revenge, not to become a bully just like him. I had already changed so much of myself to fit into the mold of what a designer should be, but I didn’t want to lose myself completely. That’s why those threats I had made against JA Style were, as Jason had called it, a bluff, something that I was using to coerce him into letting go of Ren. But if after a week were to pass and I found out that Jason did nothing with Ren’s contract, although attacking JA Style was my last resort, I wouldn’t hesitate to turn those bluffs into a reality.

It’s your move next, Jason.