Ren’s POV

Finally the day that everyone was working towards had arrived. I showed up to the venue location an hour earlier than the call time requested just to ensure that there wouldn’t be a repeat of yesterday. When I arrived I spotted many of Jason’s assistants that I recognized from his shop and then several that I had never seen before running around with outfits and stage props in a frenzy to get them to their intended locations. The atmosphere of the building felt rushed, like everyone was running behind when the show didn’t even start for hours later. I found Jason standing on stage dressed down in a pair of grey stone washed jeans with a black cowl neck sweater underneath a black blazer and white basketball shoes. He wore a pair of black and white framed aviator sunglasses on the bridge of his nose and wore his red bangs parted to the side. He was too busy directing the stage and light crew to notice me and before he could I slipped backstage behind the curtain where I found a few of the other models already sitting at their stations, waiting for the hair and makeup crew to arrive and be prepped for the first outfit. I took a seat in front of the mirror that had a sign which read ‘REN.’ I glanced across at my reflection and lost myself inside of my own gaze. I still felt numb from yesterday and that feeling almost intensified today knowing that I would have to do something that I deeply didn’t want to do. I had thought it over and over, but it was no use. Jason had cornered me into a spot that was impossible to get out of without doing what it was that he wanted. And that meant that Aron and Minhyun would get hurt in the process –

I jumped in my seat when I suddenly noticed Baekho’s reflection in the mirror in front of me. He was standing behind me with his arms folded across his chest and dressed in a sharp black suit with his trademark sunglasses on. He looked lost inside of his own thoughts as well. I glanced back over my shoulder with wide eyes.

“M-Mr. Kim, how long have you been standing there?” I asked, embarrassed. Baekho seemed unfazed and didn’t move.

“Long enough.” He vaguely responded, a very typical ‘Mr. Kim-like’ response. “You look pale.” He said. “Until how late did practice last?” Baekho suspiciously asked. What he was really asking was why I hadn’t contacted him back last night after he had texted me. Truthfully I had just been so overwhelmed that Baekho was the furthest thing from my mind at the moment. Texting him back about my feelings felt like a lesser task at hand. But I didn’t want to tell him that. If I did, he would ask why and I would have to explain everything that had happened last night, something which I was almost certain I wasn’t allowed to do, especially in front of the other models in the room right now. I turned away from him and glanced up at his reflection in the mirror instead.

“Very late. I stayed after to work with Jason.” I also responded vaguely.

“Is that so?” Baekho raised a brow. He didn’t seem mad or irritated, just curious. “I hope you can get back to me with the answer to that question after the show then.”

“Yes sir, I will.” I awkwardly replied. Baekho stared at me underneath his dark frames for a couple of seconds before turning and walking away, leaving me. Just as he left, Minhyun and Aron briskly walked in with gym bags on their shoulders. Minhyun took the station to my right which held his name card, carelessly tossing his bag onto the counter and taking his seat beside me. Aron took his seat at the station on my left, hopping into his chair with a smile on his face. He eagerly turned to me.

“The big day is here! How you holding up there, champ?” Aron asked me, setting his bag down on the counter and ping it, removing a water bottle that he had packed. He held it out for me to take. I uncomfortably stared down at it and then back up at him before forcing a smile on my face and graciously accepting it. Aron quickly took one out for himself and took a sip. I placed the water bottle down on the counter in front of me without having opened it.

“Good, and you?” I asked, trying to pretend as if everything was normal. If I was acting strangely Aron didn’t seem to notice.

“Ready to slay!” He joked. I heard Minhyun chuckle from beside me. I glanced back to look at him.

“You seem to be in a better mood today.” I said, wondering about what that ‘thing’ in the back of my head that Aron did that was supposed to upset Minhyun. Whatever it was, it seemed that he was yet to do it judging by Minhyun’s calm and content demeanor at present.

“I wasn’t trying to be hard on you yesterday.” Minhyun surprised me by saying. “I was just annoyed that you were late. You are the model I have taken under my wing, after all.” He reminded me of the conversation we had long ago when he said that he had wanted for me to replace him once he was gone. That was back when he was still Top Model. I suddenly felt a guilty sensation building up inside of me. It wasn’t about what I had done, per say, but rather what I would be forced to do this evening behind everyone’s backs.

“No, you were right and I was wrong.” I replied. Minhyun stared at me then shrugged his shoulders, turning his attention towards his reflection in the mirror at his own station.

“Well, whatever it is, you’re here now.” Minhyun replied, ending the conversation as the hair and makeup crew arrived with more of the models. Everyone started going straight to their stations. The new makeup girl that Baekho had personally hired for me approached me from behind and smiled at me in the mirror. I smiled back at her before she started unloading her makeup kit on the counter in front of me. As she did so, Aron and Minhyun’s makeup artists started doing the same on both sides of me. My makeup artist pulled out a cleanser to prep my skin. I closed my eyes, silently giving her permission to invade my personal space. As she leaned in close to me to begin, she suddenly whispered into my ear.

“I spoke with Jason. I’ll do my best.” She promised. My eyes snapped open and I gave her a startled look. Wasn’t this girl from House of Kim’s makeup team? Jason must have pulled her to the side already and either explained or threatened her too about what was secretly being expected out of me today. I closed my eyes, feeling rather unsettled. Had he talked to the hairstylist too? How many people were working together behind the scenes in a team to get me to stand out amongst the rest of the models today? Not being able to trust anyone, including myself, was a miserable feeling.

The makeup artist went straight to work cleansing my skin. Upon finishing, she applied concealer, foundation and highlights to my face before starting on the makeup set to go along with the first outfit of the evening. She skillfully applied hints of pink and orange eyeshadow and black eyeliner to the corners of my eyes and applied a faint neutral blush to my cheeks. As she wrapped up, the hairstylist who had just arrived took over and started straightening my hair, combing it downwards and spraying it in place. Minhyun and Aron’s makeup and hairstylists finished at the exact time as mine did and all three of us were rushed to wardrobe where several crew members were standing around and waiting for us. As soon as we approached them they started undressing and tearing our clothes from us as others removed the first set of outfits from their hangers and handed them over. When I found myself standing in nothing but my boxers, I felt one of the women carefully place a black netted mesh shirt over my head before quickly pulling it down to my torso while another woman had knelt down, almost knocking me over when she took my left leg into her palm and slid my foot through a grey pant leg. A third male staff caught me from behind and helped me balance as the second woman slid my right foot through the pant leg and then tugged the pants up to my waist. On both outer sides of the pants there were long black stripes of the same black netting from the top I was wearing. The first woman who had pulled the shirt over my head moved and extended my arms, slipping on a long black blazer that cut off at my knees while the male staff slipped on a pair of black vans on my feet. It had taken the entire three-manned team less than a minute to dress me.

After changing into the first outfit, I was pushed towards the lineup after being told that we were about to run through a brief practice walkthrough for the first song to help Jason and the light crew get a better feel of the show. Aron was already changed into an almost identical outfit, except his pants and blazer were grey and without the stripes on the side and his netted mesh shirt was white and he wore black dress shoes. His brown hair had also been slightly waved as opposed to my pin straight locks. I stared down at his exposed, defined abs through the mesh shirt then down at my almost non-existent ones, starting to have increasingly doubtful thoughts about being able to outshine him. Aron caught me staring at him.

“Like what you see?” He arrogantly teased then shot me a wink, oblivious to the thoughts running through my mind just now. I forced a smile on my lips.

“Those look angry.” I joked, making Aron proudly grin. Minhyun was the last to join us and finally walked up wearing another identical suit, except his being navy blue. He wore the same matching black mesh top as I did.

“Looking is fine, but no touching. Those are mine.” Minhyun warned, although I couldn’t tell if he was messing around or being serious. Most of the time Minhyun was rather expressionless, making him a difficult person to read whenever he was joking around. But he also had a history of being jealous when it came to Aron and I that I didn’t want to dismiss it as not being serious either. I stepped back with my hands in the air.

“He’s all yours.” I replied, watching the small smirk spread across Minhyun’s lips. He arrogantly held his chin up.

“As long as you know it.” He replied. In the next few minutes the rest of the models in the lineup joined us, all dressed in the same theme but more or less casual versions. Jason finally stepped through the curtains and approached us backstage to give us directions.

“Alright, this is the only walkthrough on the catwalk you get before the big show. Make it count. We’ll be letting in the first few rows of guests immediately after. Get moving.” Jason replied followed by the music to the first set starting shortly afterwards. Aron confidently held his head up and was the first to step through the curtains and travel down the stage. Several seconds later Minhyun emerged while Aron was on his way back. The two crossed paths before Aron finally exited the stage and I entered it. Before I stepped through the curtains Aron glanced at me and shot me a small smile and a nod, silently telling me that I could do this and wishing me luck. I reluctantly and briefly smiled back at him, not at all feeling worthy of Aron’s reassurance. It felt as if he somehow knew what I was about to do to him tonight – as impossible as that seemed. That was the only reason I could think of as to why he kept doing all of these nice gestures towards me. But of course it wasn’t. Aron didn’t know because he couldn’t have. He was simply being the type of person he always was, once you broke through his barriers. It went without saying that once you became Aron’s friend, he was the type to sincerely care about you. But right now this aspect of his personality was unknowingly eating away at my guilty conscience. I didn’t want to outperform or betray him. This was his night that he had worked so hard on preparing for. My heart had truly broken when I learned of the real reason why Jason had moved him up and Minhyun down. He knew that no matter how hard Aron worked, he wouldn’t stand out too much as the Top Model. He also knew that ever the professional, Minhyun would never try to outperform the Top Model either. And lastly, Jason also knew of a way to make sure I would.

I emerged on stage, crossing paths with Minhyun as he was on his way back. The entire time I traveled down the catwalk I felt Jason’s eyes on me. I felt increasingly uneasy and nervous to the point where I was certain I might throw up or faint. On my way back I saw Jason silently shaking his head from side to side in disapproval of my practice performance. I hadn’t tried anything special or out of the ordinary. I had simply just walked because I was still working on building up the courage to do what I was going to do later. I kept a blank, vacant expression on my face until after I stepped back through the curtains where I frowned in frustration with myself. I couldn’t do this. Forget it. My career is over. This stress wasn’t worth it. I hadn’t exactly pictured modeling to be a stress-free job either, but I hadn’t imagined I would be forced to do something like this. Was I that naïve? Was this a normal thing that most models had to do at least once during their career? It wasn’t like I could ask Minhyun or Aron about it either. Aron suddenly approached me from the side.

“What’s wrong, man? I thought you did great.” He tried to reassure me. I shook my head.

“It’s nothing. I’m just not feeling 100% right now.” I said, trying to dismiss his worries. I hated this. Stop being so supportive of me. I don’t deserve it and you’re only making things harder for me…

“Just drink some water. You’ll be fine.” Aron replied, walking back over to my station to grab my bottle of water and returning to hand it to me. I quietly took it and bowed my head to him in thanks, thinking about Jason ripping my contract to shreds in the back of my head. A wave of anxiety washed over me. I wasn’t ready to stop modeling. I had barely just begun. But I knew what I would have to do if I wanted to stay.

A couple of minutes later after the last model had walked, as Jason had promised, the first several rows of guests began seating. The quiet auditorium suddenly grew into a busy, faint murmur as the guests talked amongst themselves. The first few rows of seating had been reserved for the designers that Jason had personally sent an invite to and then the friends and family that the models had invited. To escape having to make anymore small talk with Aron, I turned to sneak a peek outside of the curtain to see if I recognized any of the guests or if Dambi had arrived yet. Surely if she had we would have heard Jason make a big old fuss about it. When I glanced outside I didn’t see her – I guess she hadn’t arrived just yet. Instead I saw several fashion designers already lining the first row and many people that I didn’t know seated in the second. As I scanned each chair one by one, I paused when I came across a particular woman that uncannily resembled Minhyun. She was tall, had a petite frame and had pale white skin and dark black hair that fell past her shoulders with short bangs in front. She reminded me a bit of Snow White. Although in her early 30’s, she was breathtakingly beautiful. She was dressed in a black pant suit and seemed to be looking around rather nervously. I turned my attention away from the audience and backstage at Minhyun who was talking with Aron, painfully oblivious to who was sitting outside. I stared over at Aron. Was this that ‘thing’ that he had done? Had he invited Minhyun’s sister? Minhyun suddenly glanced over at me after noticing me staring at him.

“Something wrong?” He asked, giving me a questioning look. “You’ve been acting strange all afternoon…” Minhyun’s voice trailed off. I started to panic. Was I being too obvious? I needed to calm my nerves down.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine.” I replied, wondering in the back of my mind whether or not to tell him about the woman I had seen outside in the audience. I remembered being told that they didn’t have a good relationship to begin with. But if that was the case, what was she doing here? Would Minhyun’s sister have showed up just to spite him? It was impossible for me to know, never having met the woman.

“I’m telling you, it’s just nerves! Wasn’t it like, his dream or something, to meet and model for House of Kim? He’s finally getting that chance. Not to mention this is gonna look hella good on his resume after he leaves this place.” Aron said. I started feeling dizzy every time he spoke.

“Well pull yourself together then. It’s almost show time.” Minhyun replied and smiled before walking off towards his station and sitting back down without ever having looked out into the audience. I supposed it was for the best that he didn’t know. Once he was gone I turned to Aron.

“I saw your thing.” I whispered. Aron gave me a wide eyed, surprised look before slowly and uncomfortably moving his hands to cover up his crotch. I strangely stared at him. Suddenly it hit me what he thought I was referring to. “Not that thing. The other thing!”

“You’ve gotta be more specific, you .” He whispered back.

“How am I the ?!”

“Should we just bang and get it over with? This is becoming a bit much.” He teased me.

“Be serious here for once!”

“So you saw her, huh?” Aron sighed, thankfully changing the subject.

“I take it he doesn’t know.” I assumed. Aron shook his head.

“Nope.”

“There’s a strong possibility he might kill you for this.” I warned.

“There’s also a strong possibility he might thank me for this too.” He replied, sounding as if he knew something that the rest of us didn’t. I shrugged. Well, apparently he knew what he was doing. He knew Minhyun better than anyone. I didn’t want to interfere anymore in their business. Every time I did, things always got awkward. And besides, I had my own problems to worry about. I left Aron and went back to my station, sitting back in my chair beside Minhyun. As soon as I sat, Minhyun leaned over the armrest of his own chair and stared at me.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Minhyun suddenly asked me. I paused and glanced over at him, giving him a strange look.

“What’s weird?” I asked back. Minhyun pursed his lips together for a moment in dissatisfaction.

“You didn’t notice it, huh?”

“What in the world are you talking about, Minhyun?” I asked, starting to grow impatient in this conversation that felt as if it was lasting forever.

“How Jason’s been running around like a madman, taking care of everything by himself while Mr. Kim is nowhere to be seen. Last I checked, his name was on this collaboration fashion show too. Rather unprofessional of him, wouldn’t you say?” Minhyun pointed out. It hadn’t even occurred to me until now that I had only seen Baekho once, and that was when I had first arrived. Since then I hadn’t seen a trace of him, only Jason. Why wasn’t he helping Jason with the preparations?

“… It is strange.” I hesitantly replied.

“I thought so. You wouldn’t happen to know what he’s up to, would you?” Minhyun suspiciously asked, knowing only vaguely about the possibility of Baekho and I. I hadn’t reported back to him since he had asked me if there was anything between us, but Minhyun was a lot smarter than he looked. And besides, I had already mentioned something to Aron about ‘talking’ to someone, which meant Minhyun probably already knew that we were almost an item. I nervously shook my head.

“I don’t know.”

“Well, whatever then.” Minhyun replied, dropping the subject and sitting back in his chair and going back to minding his own business, leaving me alone. I shifted my gaze down into my lap and apprehensively twiddled my thumbs, my mind returning to that utterly disapproving face of Jason’s that I had seen on my way off the runway. I knew the next time I would need to do it for real. I still wasn’t sure if I could do it, but I really didn’t even have a choice at this point. I couldn’t just give up on my dream. The long recovery, the blackouts, the cognitive impairment, all of the physical therapy just to get back up on my own two feet again… modeling was all I could really do anymore. I couldn’t go back to school and I couldn’t get a decent job to live off of without going back either. This was my last chance, all that I had left. I knew that my actions would hurt Aron and he and Minhyun would both end up hating me, but they had already had long careers and were facing retirement soon. It didn’t make what I was going to do any less wrong, but I had to at least try and fail rather than not try at all and get kicked out of the industry and give up on my dreams.

 

 

About an hour later it was show time. Jason returned backstage with Baekho and rounded up all the models and the two of them delivered a brief motivational pep talk before we began. I felt as if I were sitting on pins and needles. My hands were clammy and cold and my stomach was in a knot as I kept rethinking about what it was that I had to do in a couple of minutes. I was so nervous that Baekho and Jason’s speech flew straight past me and I had no idea what they even said or talked about. All I heard was the very end of it, where Baekho told us ‘good luck’ and the two designers turned around and exited the backstage, taking their places on the right hand corner of the stage. The rest of us models got into position and stood in line behind the curtain. I could hear the flashy opening show music, lasting almost a full minute while both the JA Style and House of Kim logos flashed on the large screen that had been lowered on stage in front of the curtain. The audience grew deathly silent and I could almost feel the high levels of excitement and anticipation in the air. This was when it hit me that everything was real. I was really about to walk the runway for the second time, modeling my favorite designer’s clothes. It also sunk in that this might possibly be my last time ever walking the runway as well if I messed everything up. I suddenly felt the strong urge to run until Aron glanced back at me from the front of the line and gave me a thumbs-up sign. Damn it. I forced a small smile on my face and returned the same gesture. Aron smirked then turned back around to face the front. My smile instantly faded once his back faced towards me.

The music for the first set suddenly . I watched as Aron once again ever so confidently held his head up and emerged through the curtains into the dark, unlit room as the screen was being lifted up by the stage crew. The white stage lights flashed on with each step he took down the runway. Aron walked proudly with a certain professional swag in his step. Minhyun held his head down as he counted, waiting for his cue. When it was his turn to exit, he quickly held his head up high, took a deep breath and then stepped outside. Once he was gone my heart started racing. In a matter of seconds this would be it. I counted and waited. The moment Aron finally reemerged backstage I held my head up high and stepped through the curtains and out onto the runway, dauntlessly walking to the rhythm of the upbeat spring music. I slipped my right hand into my pocket, swinging my left hand by my side and bringing each leg forward in front of the other with a fierce amount of energy until I reached the midway mark of the runway where I confidently removed it. I walked the remained of the runway swinging both hands by my side. I started turning to my left once I reached the end, shifting my weight onto my right leg and bringing my left arm up to the lapel of the grey blazer and flashing it open to the audience to boldly display the mesh shirt. A small, scripted smirk spread in the corners of my lips and quickly disappeared as I let the blazer fall back down and I swung my weight back onto my left leg then effortlessly turned around and started making my way back down the runway, passing by the next model. I had chickened out on my first run. I only had two more runs to make before I was out of opportunities to stand out and my career was over.

As I entered backstage I was grabbed by the three staff members that had dressed me before and was led back towards wardrobe again. They quickly worked together to undress and redress me in the second outfit, which consisted of a light grey sweater with an angled black and white design, tucked inside of a pair of slouchy black pants held up by a blue roped belt and a pair of black leather vans. I was thrown back towards hair and makeup where the makeup artist scrambled to remove the first set of makeup and reapplied more, this time giving me smoky eyes. While the makeup artist did her thing, the hairstylist teamed up with her and did my hair at the same time, slicking my hair up into a pompadour style and spraying it in place. When they finished they threw me back in line where Aron and Minhyun were already standing around and waiting for their next turn to go onstage again. Aron was wearing a black mesh t-shirt with intricate stitched on designs in red threading and a pair of white shorts which also turned into white mesh about three inches towards the bottom hem. He wore a pair of black canvas vans and a pair of black sunglasses to match. Minhyun stood beside him, wearing a long black denim shirt that reached his thighs with a white shoe-string tie around the collar. He wore a pair of white pants with the same red stitchings from Aron’s shirt and a pair of shiny patent leather vans.

I watched as Aron once again stepped outside on the runway, starting the second line showcase, which was casual wear. As the second song switched over, Aron started confidently walking, swaying his arms in big strides beside him until he reached the end of the runway where he backtracked several steps, grabbed the right side of his sunglasses while leaning and crouching forward and smiled. He tilted his sunglasses down and shot a wink towards one of the females in the audience. He stood back up straight and let his arm fall back down to his side then spun around and started making his way back. Minhyun emerged onto the runway with his arms spread open, walking over-confidently and having fun. When he reached the middle of the stage and as he passed by Aron the two high-fived each other before Aron made his way backstage. Minhyun continued to walk, randomly blowing imaginary kisses to the audience until he reached the end where he pointed with both index fingers at another female audience member, smirked, then turned around. I started making my entrance onto the runway. I coolly walked forward with a bounce in my step, rocking my hips from side to side like a rock star. As I passed Minhyun, as scripted, I brushed into his shoulder and we both acted ‘offended’ until we both smiled at each other and I continued walking with both hands in my pockets for several more steps while Minhyun walked offstage. I quickly gathered the courage I needed and briefly stopped, unscripted, and reached down into the audience for a random female’s hand where I enthusiastically shook it, shot her a wink then let go and watched as she nearly fainted back into her seat. I casually walked to the end of the runway with a swagger in my step, back on script, and posed with my head tilted to the side while smiling, exuding confidence. I spun around then walked offstage, passing by another model who I glanced back to give a scripted ‘intimidating’ look-down from head to foot before smirking and facing back forward and exiting the stage shortly after. As I stepped through the curtain I caught a glimpse of Jason staring at me from the corner of stage with his arms folded across his chest. He was smirking.

When I walked offstage I was once again thrown into wardrobe, hair and makeup for the last set. I was dressed in the clothes I had once seen in a sketch of before – it was the same white blazer and dress pants with a large grey trench coat hanging off my shoulders. The blazer had two big vertical stripes- a grey and a gold stripe, running down the left side. After shoving my feet into a pair of shiny black leather dress shoes, I met with the makeup artist who gave me a shimmery gold, yet smoky eye. The hairstylist quickly styled my hair into an Ivy League-do and then rushed me back into the line. Aron was wearing the completed version of the sketch I had also seen. He was wearing a light grey t-shirt, white jeans, and a grey and black mandarin collar zip-up jacket. The jacket also consisted of the same two vertical stripes, only his were gold and black as opposed to mine. He wore a pair of silver metallic vans. Minhyun beside him was wearing a plain white t-shirt paired with loose grey pants and a long white and black striped dress shirt falling down to the knees. On his feet he wore a pair of silver metallic converse.

As we waited in line, Minhyun suddenly turned to me. “Why did you do that?” He asked, making me freeze. I felt my heart sink down to my stomach. I tried to play it off even though on the inside I was panicking and almost felt like I was about to faint.

“What are you talking about?” I asked. Minhyun shot me a dirty look.

“On stage, as I was leaving – I saw what you did. That wasn’t part of the script.” Minhyun called me out. Aron suddenly turned to us with a questioning look on his face.

“What’s going on?” He asked. Apparently he hadn’t seen or heard about what I had just done on stage, but Minhyun was determined to change that.

“He shook a female audience member’s hand.” Minhyun filled him in. Aron stared at me with furrowed brows, as if he couldn’t believe or comprehend that I would do something like that.

“Why would you do that…?” He asked, confused.

“The script called for us to act like cool, confident guys.” I replied, feeling rather small in front of them right now. I was humiliated. Minhyun had caught me and now he was exposing me as if I didn’t feel bad enough about the situation already.

“That wasn’t part of the script. You stick to the script, Ren.” Minhyun scolded. I nodded then slightly bowed my head to the both of them in apology. I knew it wasn’t enough for the stunt I just pulled, but I just couldn’t escape from my guilt. They both shot me uneasy looks before turning back around to face the front of the line again. When the last model walked off the stage Aron emerged once again as the song changed. He walked out confidently rolling his head from side to side with a jump in each step. Towards the middle of the runway he brought his hands up and his elbows to his sides and started dancing as he walked, a bright smile on his face before he let them fall back down to his sides. When he approached the end of the runway he pounded his chest with his right fist then shot a peace sign out into the audience before spinning around and walking back. Minhyun emerged with his hands in his pockets, casually walking and looking around with a smile on his face. When he reached the end of the runway he picked another random female audience member, pretending to be surprised to see her before waving, shifting his weight onto his left leg and striking a pose then turning back around. I entered the stage and walked naturally, feeling Minhyun’s eyes watching me the entire time he walked his way back. I waited until after he had passed and his back was turned to me before doing an unscripted spin and rolling my body from left to right briefly as I traveled forward. When I reached the end of the runway I held my right hand up and forward and slowly lowered it in front of me, taking a bow before raising it again and beating my chest with a fist twice, bringing my index and middle fingers up to my lips and blowing a kiss out into the audience. I was surprised when I heard several women in the audience squeal in delight. I smirked then turned around and walked back. Once I was backstage I stood back in line again behind Aron and Minhyun while the rest of the models stood behind us. As we waited for the last models to walk the runway, Minhyun glanced back at me through the corners of his eyes, keeping his head faced forward.

“The first time I can believe is always an accident. But the second?” Minhyun scoffed in disbelief. I kept my gaze away from him, my heart racing inside of my chest. I pretended to have not heard his remark as the last model walked off stage and the lights flashed off behind the curtain. Aron started walking the moment the music score changed to the last set where everyone walked down the runway together, leading the line. As he stepped outside the lights flashed on again and everyone emerged one by one down the runway until Aron reached the end and turned, walking back with everyone following him. After the last model exited the stage, the lights went off again for a couple of seconds until the flashed back on, revealing none other than Jason and Baekho standing at the beginning of the runway. They both took a bow then rose with Jason waving goodbye and Baekho kissing both his index and middle fingers and sending out a single kiss out into the audience before they both spun around and walked backstage. I could hear the loud roaring of cheers and applause that lasted for several minutes after they had exited the stage. Jason turned to face all of us once they were behind the curtains.

“Good job, models! As you can tell, the show was a success and was well-received!” He cheerfully exclaimed. Minhyun folded his arms across his chest and angrily stared at him.

“You can’t be serious.” Minhyun said, referring to my several intentional slipups. I shamefully turned my head and glanced off to the side. It was bad enough not wanting to have done it, but even worse after actually having done it. Guilt was running down my veins. I hated myself. I felt like a fool and a backstabber.

“I am very serious!” Jason replied. Baekho faced the rest of us.

“I want to thank all of you for representing me well and working hard during this collaboration. Unfortunately this marks the end of our time together, but just because the show has ended doesn’t mean I don’t expect to see any of you again doing even bigger things down that runway in the future. Congratulations and good luck.” Baekho replied, saying his farewells to the rest of us. Although I knew that I would be seeing him after the show I felt somewhat saddened knowing that I wouldn’t be seeing him again at JA Style. The models all said their goodbyes to him before he was forced to return back outside with Jason to tend to the press and media at the event. I returned back to my station where I started to undress myself and redress in the change of clothes I had brought for afterward. I redressed in a pair of black jeans and a black sweater. As I was pulling a silver cross necklace over my head and around my neck, Minhyun quietly and angrily approached his station next to me, undressing without even so much as acknowledging me. I held my head down in shame and started gathering my things into my own bag. When I finished I zipped it up, threw it on my shoulder and was about to leave when I suddenly heard Minhyun scoff at me, making me stop in my tracks. I glanced back at him.

“You’re not even going to give us some sort of explanation?” Minhyun demanded. I quietly stared at him as I carefully chose my next words.

“Explanation for wha-”

“Don’t feign ignorance with me, Choi Ren, because you’re horrible at it!” Minhyun exclaimed. “Tonight was Aron’s night. What were you doing?” He accusingly replied.

“I know you want an answer, but unfortunately I can’t give you one.” I shortly replied, actually being somewhat truthful before bowing apologetically again. Minhyun gave me a taken aback look.

“You mean you don’t have a reason for screwing over your friend?” Minhyun asked, sounding stunned. He paused for a moment in silence before glancing back at me. “At any moment I could have done the same thing. But apparently and unlike you, I respect Aron enough not to have done that. A respectable first and second lead doesn’t overstep their boundaries and they certainly don’t outperform the Top Model. Now I’m going to ask again, not as first lead, but as your friend: what was your reason?” He asked, giving me another chance to tell him the truth.

“…” I remained silent. A hurt look spread across Minhyun’s face.

“You still don’t have one?” He asked in an upset tone of voice. Suddenly one of Jason’s assistants came running up to me, urging me to follow her back outside after insisting there was a member of the audience that wished to speak with me. I glanced back at Minhyun with a sullen look on my face.

“I’m sorry.” I replied, turning my back to him and following the assistant. Minhyun’s jaw slightly dropped in shock before I walked away. I had to force myself to ignore it as I made my way out into the auditorium where I was lead to Dambi, who was dressed in an off the shoulder black mini dress and Aron, still in his last stage outfit. Dambi had been busily congratulating Aron when I walked up to them. They both looked up and Dambi smiled at me while Aron gave me a rather indifferent look but said nothing. I tried to ignore his reaction and shifted my gaze back up towards Dambi. “Noona, you made it-”

“I’m not done speaking with you!” Minhyun suddenly emerged from behind me after following me out into the auditorium, grabbing me by my left upper arm and forcefully yanking me around to face him. He looked like he wanted to strike me. I stared at him with shocked wide eyes and I could hear Dambi gasp behind me. Right as he was about to go off on me we both heard a woman’s soft voice call out for him from the side.

“Minhyun?” This voice seemed to strike a particular chord with Minhyun. I felt his grip on me lesson before completely letting me go. Minhyun slowly turned around to face the woman that I had seen from earlier, the one I believed to be Minhyun’s sister. She was nervously standing off to the side, carrying a small arrangement of flowers. As soon as he caught a glimpse of her his eyes widened in disbelief.

“Noona?” Minhyun asked, stunned. She hesitantly smiled before walking several steps forward and properly greeting him. Although she had come closer, there was still a bit of distance between them, almost as if she were afraid of getting too close.

“Hi.” She feebly replied. Minhyun continued to stare at her.

“I-I don’t understand. What are you doing here?” He asked at a loss for words. She continued to nervously smile at him.

“Aron… called. He invited me.” She replied. Minhyun glanced back to look at Aron.

“How is that possible? You invited Son Dambi-”

“It was your invitation. He sent me your invitation. H-He told me that you wanted me to come.” She timidly replied while shifting her gaze down to the ground.

“But you hate me… You said you hated that I modeled…” Minhyun continued to say in disbelief. His sister shook her head in front of him, seeming rather upset at his choice of words.

“I never said that I hated you modeling. I said that I hated that you left without telling me and became a model… You could have at least told me. With mom and dad gone most of our lives, I practically raised you on my own… But you never thought to tell your older sister where you were going or what you were doing – I had to find out in a magazine-” She was practically near tears. She paused for a moment to recollect herself before sniffling and holding the flowers out for Minhyun to take. She held her head down as she continued. “All I wanted… was to be included in your choices.”

Minhyun stared down at the flowers then glanced back up at her. “I’m sorry.” He instantly replied. Instead of taking the flowers from her, he extended both arms and wrapped them around her, squeezing her tightly. “I’m sorry, Sujin. I didn’t know. That was so many years ago… I was young and incredibly stupid. All this time I thought you hated me…” He apologized as she started sobbing into his chest.

“Idiot.” Sujin cried.

“I know.” Minhyun glanced back at Aron, giving him a touched look. He silently mouthed the words ‘thank you’ to him then turned his attention back to his sister. Aron smiled then left Dambi and I, joining the two of them.

“Hey, don’t cry! This reunion calls for a celebration! Let’s-” Aron continued on. It seemed like at least for now he and Minhyun were distracted with Sujin to deal with me. That wasn’t to say that they probably wouldn’t continue this conversation with me later though. I turned my attention to Dambi who was staring at me with a strange look on her face.

“Let’s talk. Follow me.” She replied, grabbing me by the hand and dragging me outside of the venue with her. She pulled me down the street and didn’t stop until we reached the side of her parked car where I pulled my hand back and out of her grasp. I had a feeling I knew what it was that she wanted to talk to me about.

“I really have somewhere to be-” I tried escaping from the situation. Minseok was conveniently waiting for me and Baekho in a private room at the restaurant he had reserved for the three of us to meet. It was bad enough that Baekho was going to be late, but me as well? By this point I was looking for any and all excuses to flee.

“Then I’ll make this short. What was that about?” Dambi asked, watching me carefully. I stared back at her. She knew. She knew that something wasn’t right. But I couldn’t tell her or anyone for that matter. I hated feigning ignorance – as Minhyun said, I at it. But if Jason found out I spoke about him blackmailing me, what were the potential consequences I faced? Not knowing was a lot worse than already knowing that he would rip up my contract and blacklist my name in the industry if I didn’t do as he said.

“What are you-”

“Your performance. It was ‘amazing.’ You ‘exuded a fun confidence and iness.’ ‘You were exactly what a show with a spring vibe needed.’ Do you want to know the most fascinating part? None of those words are my own. In fact, these are the words of the reporters I overheard, sitting around me. It seems as if the most photographed model of the night wasn’t of the Top Model, but the second lead.”

I shifted my gaze downwards. “You say that as if it was my fault.” I replied, trying to shift the focus off me and onto the reporters.

“What’s going on?” She suddenly asked. I froze. She was definitely wiser beyond her years. There could be no hiding anything from her. Regardless, I had to try.

“N-Nothing’s going on.”

“You stuttered. Something’s going on. Is it Jason?” Dambi cautiously asked. I stared back at her brown eyes which were intensely studying me.

“Did Jason notice you in the audience?” I tried changing the subject.

“No, I managed to sneak in late. Now answer the question. Did Jason threaten you into outperforming the Top Model?”

“Why do you assume he threatened me?” I defensively shot back.

“Because it’s not you. I know you. I trained you, even if for a little while. You wouldn’t do this. The audience will eat whatever you throw at them, but within the trade, it’s like an unwritten rule amongst the models not to steal the Top Model’s thunder. But you did, which makes me question just why you did it. The only reasonable conclusion I can think of is Jason, and if this is his doing, then you need to speak up now and tell me something or else I can’t do anything for you. I can help you if only you’ll just let me-”

“You couldn’t even protect yourself!” I inadvertently admitted as I blurted out, surprising even myself. A painful look of hurt and betrayal flashed across Dambi’s face as my words reached her ears before she narrowed her eyes and raised her right hand back. I immediately winced my eyes shut in preparation for what was to come. And in all honesty, I deserved it. I had heard Dambi’s story through many people – Jason, JR, Aron, even herself. I knew how Jason forced her into a reflection period and how much she suffered during that time. It was awful of me to have reminded her of her darkest moment in life. I waited for the slap that never seemed to come. I cautiously opened my eyes to see that Dambi was frozen in place, lost inside her own thoughts. Instead she lowered her hand and stared into her palm in shock.

“It’s true, isn’t it…?” Dambi’s voice trailed off. “You’re not the enemy – he is. I almost hit you… You’re nothing but a pawn, just like the rest of us.” She said, almost in a trance. I felt my bottom lip tremble, suddenly feeling a deeper connection with her. Dambi understood me. She knew what it was like because she had gone through it once before. With her standing right here in front of me I realized I didn’t feel so alone anymore and I felt like breaking.

“I-I don’t know what he’ll do if he finds out I talked.” I fearfully replied. Dambi suddenly snapped out of her trance and unlocked her car doors on her keychain remote. She quickly made her way to the driver’s side and tore open the door. “Noona-”

“You didn’t talk. I found out on my own.” She reassured me, sliding into her seat. I panicked and ran around the car and grabbed the door as she was reaching for it, preventing her from closing it.

“What are you going to do? You can’t say anything!” I pleaded her. Dambi glanced up at me, noticing the fear and dread written on my face. She softly smiled at me as if trying to give me hope.

“Try to hold on a little while longer. You won’t have to fear him anymore, I promise. There are people even higher up than Jason on the corporate ladder and you don’t know it yet, but you already have their support.” Dambi replied, gently shaking the door from my grasp and slamming it shut. She turned her key in the ignition and the engine started. She rolled down her window. “You call me if that snake tries anything else and I’ll come running. Take care, Ren.” She said goodbye then reversed out of her parking spot and disappeared down the street, leaving me dumbfounded. What had she meant by people being higher up than Jason? Did she mean Baekho? Was it possible that Baekho could protect me from Jason?

I slowly turned around then started making my way back towards the venue, lost inside my own thoughts. Maybe going to Baekho really wouldn’t be such a bad thing now… If he could somehow protect me from Jason or possibly take me away from here, then I would be safe. But… could he? What was I thinking? Of course he could. He was Mr. Kim, wasn’t he? Jason had even said it himself – House of Kim was higher up than JA Style, turning Mr. Kim into someone more powerful than he was. If I told Baekho about the situation, he would surely protect me, wouldn’t he?

As I reached the outside of the venue I started to pull my phone out to call a taxi. When I dug my hand into my pocket I was suddenly approached by dozens of reporters carrying cameras and voice recorders, all trying to ask me questions at once. I paused for a moment to stare at them in confusion, trying to make out what they were saying. They all either had questions about the show, what it was like working with Jason and Mr. Kim, and even about my beauty regimen. I hesitantly glanced at the time on my phone. I was already running late on meeting my brother on time. I answered a few questions in hopes that they would let me go, however, I didn’t realize just how optimistic I was being. It seemed like for every question I answered I was met by three or four more. I sighed. Hopefully Minseok wouldn’t be too upset with me too.

 

 

By the time I finally got around to leaving the venue, I was already an hour and a half late. Before I had left I checked the inside of the building to see if Baekho was still there, however, it seemed as if he had gotten the chance to leave before I did, surprisingly. I climbed inside my cab once it arrived and rode it all the way to the restaurant a little further down in Gangnam. A few minutes later after the car pulled up in front of the place I quickly paid him and got out. I walked inside the front entrance and was greeted by the two hostesses standing in the lobby. I gave them my name and one of them led me down the hall towards a room on the far left side. She politely knocked before opening it for me and stepping to the side. I slightly bowed and thanked her then entered. As I stepped inside I was surprised to see that it was only Minseok sitting there at the table. He had been staring down at the untouched food spread out on several plates across the table with a dark look on his face. When he heard the door open he glanced up at me.

“Sorry for being so late. The reporters didn’t want to let go of me.” I said and approached the table, removing my bag’s strap from off my shoulder and hanging it over the back of the chair as I looked around for Baekho. “Did Mr. Kim arrive yet?” I asked him. Minseok remained staring at me with the same grim look on his face.

“Minki, sit down for a minute.” Minseok strangely said. I blinked several times while wondering why he was acting this way. I paused.

“Was he here? Did you meet with him already?”

“I said take a seat.” Minseok firmly repeated himself, somewhat startling me. I slowly pulled out the chair and sat across from him as he requested. Minseok uncomfortably coughed, clearing his throat before staring at me across the table with a serious look in his eyes. Something suddenly didn’t feel right.

“Hyung… is something wrong? Did something happen?” I asked. Minseok disregarded my question.

“It is true I met with someone, however, that someone I am certain isn’t Mr. Kim.” He replied. I stared at him, confused.

“What are you talking about?” I paused. “Did you meet with House of Kim designer Kim Baekho? Tall, blonde, built?” I asked, describing him. Minseok tightly pursed his lips together for a moment, shifting his gaze down to the table briefly before looking back up at me.

“That person matches the description, but he is no ‘Kim.’”

“Minseok, are you hearing yourself? You’re not making any sense.” I replied, starting to grow alarmed. How was it my older brother, who had nothing to do with the fashion industry, was doubting Baekho’s credentials as well?

“Minki, I know you don’t like it when I talk about it, but-”

“Are you seriously about to bring up the accident again at a time like this?” I asked wildly in disbelief before he could even mention it. I glared at him. “You’re unbelievable, hyung.” I said as I started to get up. I failed to see a connection between the two conversations and I wasn’t going to waste my time humoring Minseok by listening to the story that ruined not just my own life, but the lives of others as well. Not again. He knew how I felt about him bringing it up. That’s why we went so long without talking to each other because I knew he’d always want to mention it. But I just couldn’t hear it anymore. To think I was beginning to believe that he had changed…

“I wouldn’t dare mention it again if it wasn’t relevant!” Minseok urgently replied. I froze for a moment before slowly turning my head to look at him. Minseok narrowed his eyes at me. “Take a seat.” He demanded.

“Are you going to talk about the accident again?” I asked, ready to turn back around and leave if the answer was yes.

“Are you going to continue to disrespect your older brother?” He shot back at me. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. I slowly sat back down in the chair, defeated. I folded my arms across my chest and leaned back in the chair, glaring over at him on the other side of the table. Minseok continued. “I know because of the injuries you sustained that you don’t remember much, however, I remember much more than you do. Do I have your permission to talk about it and tell my side of the story?”

“I hate you…” I murmured. Silent tears were starting to flood the corners of my eyes and I had to turn my head to the right to look away from him before he could see them.

“Minki.” Minseok firmly scolded.

“I’m sorry. But you know what this story does to me. I don’t want to relive it again.” I replied. I just couldn’t handle it at a time like this where I was healing a broken heart from one person, trying to move on to another person while being blackmailed by a third. The large amount of drama that had suddenly arisen in my life was unbelievable.

“Then I’ll talk about everything that happened after you had out.” Minseok replied. I tensed up. After… I had out? I stared at him. Never before had I questioned what happened after I had lost consciousness. To be honest I knew that Minseok had also been deeply injured in the accident, but not to what extent that he had suffered. I had just assumed that he had lost consciousness with me. When I woke up in the hospital, I was apart from Minseok. I had been admitted into the emergency room where I had been listed in critical condition while Minseok had been in another wing of the hospital. By the time I had been released, Minseok had already recovered from his injuries.

“Ok.” I shortly replied, willing to listen to his side of the story for the first time ever. Minseok continued.

“When help arrived, you were already unconscious. Your door was jammed shut by the other car which ignited on fire upon impact. My door had been blown off its hinges and because I was easier to get to, they pulled me out first despite my protests… I remember screaming at them and trying to reach you, not wanting to lose sight of you as the paramedics put me on a stretcher… After the fire crew managed to put the flames out they actually had to pull the car back and cut the door off ours just to get to you. Right as they were pulling you out, that’s when I saw a boy in a basketball uniform run up to the accident from the side of the road. He was screaming and crying their names. The police caught and blocked him before he could get any closer, just as the paramedics had put you on a stretcher and wheeled you towards me, putting you into the back of a second ambulance first before lifting me into the other. As I was being lifted I made sure to get a good look at the boy, whom I assumed was the child of the couple that had struck us in the other car. I wanted to make sure to remember him so that after I was alright that I could find him again and apologize for my part in the accident.”

My body tensed up and froze as I heard Minseok’s account of the events that had happened following the accident. My chest constricted and my breathing became strained as I felt the rest of my body grow completely numb. Although Minseok’s story about how I was trapped was horrifying to reimagine knowing that I had lived through it, being trapped beside a flaming car wasn’t the scariest part. I kept on hearing the words ‘boy’ and ‘basketball uniform’ replay inside of my head. I suddenly recalled the haunting conversation I had with Baekho while we were driving to Gangneung together inside of his car.

 

“I had been at a late-running basketball practice after school when it happened…”

No…

“When I met with my parents on the day of their accident, they had already been pronounced dead at the scene…”

This wasn’t happening…

“I was someone who had nothing to do with the accident, and I ended up hating myself for years because there was nothing I could do about it. I wasn’t there, and so I couldn’t have helped them.”

 

I brought both hands up to the sides of my face and covered my ears. I could hear a sharp, faint ringing that accompanied a piercing, throbbing pain in my temples. I felt an overwhelming sensation of anxiety build within me as I started to lose my hold on myself. I couldn’t say that I didn’t believe Minseok’s accusation or that it didn’t make sense – it made perfect sense once I recalled Baekho’s account. My mind just couldn’t comprehend the twisted irony that out of all the accidents in Seoul, that ours intervened. I couldn’t bear or even handle the thought that Baekho’s suffering was caused by me and that mine was caused by his parents… Without further warning I suddenly leaned forward in my chair and slammed my head down roughly on top of the table with a loud THUNK as I tried to process this information. Minseok shrieked before immediately rising up to his feet and running around the table, grabbing me by my shoulders and pulling me back before I could do it again. I could hear Minseok calling out to me, but his voice was muffled, as if he were calling me from a far away distance. The world around me started to spin.

“No, no, no, Minki! Don’t do this! Stay with me here!” Minseok cried out to me as my body began to twitch as I tried to grasp this reality. I felt like a prisoner inside of my damaged mind. He knelt down by my side and wrapped his arms around me and the chair, burying his face into my chest. “Minki!” He cried out to me, only I couldn’t respond to him no matter how hard I tried. The words were there, only I couldn’t speak them. The shock had rendered me completely useless. Baekho had lost his parents and became an orphan because of what we did. We did this to him.

“H-H-Hyung…” I tightly gasped while hyperventilating, finally finding my voice. “I-I can’t breathe…” I cried. Minseok pulled back and placed both of his hands on my shoulders.

“Slowly! Breathe through your stomach, not your lungs. Slowly!” Minseok tried to instruct me. My anxiety attacks were nothing new to him. Back when the two of us still lived at home together, especially around the time that I was recovering, they were frequent. Minseok had always been the one to help me through them. It had been a long time since I last had a full-blown anxiety attack – the last time was when I was almost forced to drive Aron’s car but JR ended up saving the day. I desperately nodded my head and tried doing as he had told me to. I slowed my breathing and focused on using the muscles in my stomach rather than straining the ones in my lungs. My breathing trembled but grew stronger as I started to relax. Once I had calmed myself I stared at Minseok through teary eyes.

“We ruined his life, didn’t we?” I asked, feeling numb on the inside. I started to think about the events that had occurred between Baekho and myself until now. I thought about how very close I was towards accepting his feelings towards me and going to him. I also thought about how foolish I had just been believing that I could go to Baekho and ask him to protect me from Jason. If Minseok had just told him the exact same thing he had told me, then that was it. It was over between Baekho and I. There was no way in hell that Baekho could forgive or even look at me the same way from this moment on. My bottom lip started to tremble. I could see Baekho’s warm and caring smile start to vanish from my sight as he started growing further out of my reach. Minseok glanced up at me with worried eyes.

“Minki, look at him. Can you honestly say that we ruined his life?” He asked. I defiantly shook my head.

“Money doesn’t buy happiness, Minseok!”

“I know.” Minseok replied, glancing down disappointedly.

“He has all those things, but he doesn’t have anyone to share it with. Designing was the only thing he had. He never wanted to be famous. He never wanted to step out in public, and ever since he has, he hasn’t been allowed to be himself. He has so live by some stupid persona-”

“Like Mr. Kim?” Minseok suddenly asked, glancing back up at me. I paused.

“W-What?”

“I remember that boy, Minki. I collected all of the news articles I could find following the accident, where all the names of the people involved were listed. But he wasn’t a ‘Kim.’ That boy – I mean that person, that man is a ‘Kang.’ He’s no ‘Kim Baekho.’ He never has been and he never will be. His name is Kang Baekho.” He claimed. Kang? My heart started racing. Baekho… wasn’t really Mr. Kim…? Had he been lying to me, to everyone this whole time about who he was?

“Are you sure it’s him?” I asked, desperately wanting him to be wrong. I didn’t want to imagine that Baekho was lying. If this was true that Baekho wasn’t Kim Baekho, but Kang Baekho, then did that mean that the guide I had found wasn’t intended for someone else, but for him? The cluelessness, the unprofessionalism, not recognizing his own garments, never wanting to talk about House of Kim, that strange book sitting on his shelf… My heart started racing as all of Minhyun’s suspicions suddenly started making sense. I watched as Minseok slowly nodded.

“I’m sure of it.” He replied. It was then when I recalled another conversation in the past that I had with Baekho where he himself had even said ‘Mr. Kim’ was a persona. My jaw slightly dropped. That meant that Baekho had never really lied about it. He hadn’t been honest about who he was, but neither did he directly lie to me. He had always said how he couldn’t be his real self. I just didn’t know that this was what he meant. But then… what about Mr. Kim?

“M-Maybe it’s a stage name, like how mine is ‘Ren.’ Maybe he didn’t want people to dig into his past and know who he really was. Maybe he was just protecting himself…” I said in denial. Minseok uncomfortably pursed his lips together.

“There’s not much to his past other than the accident, Minki. Since then he’s been living on his own, taking odd jobs here and there. He’s done everything from car mechanics, restaurant server, even modeling.”

I froze. “Modeling?” I asked. Minseok nodded.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t ever anything big. He’s done modeling for underwear packaging and other sorts – but it’s only ever been his body photographed, never his face. I found his resume at an old employer’s office. You would have never known those pictures were of him if he hadn’t listed it under ‘previous experience.’ That’s why it seems a bit… odd that this Baekho person is who everyone claims. How could he have gone from Kang Baekho, who had nothing, to House of Kim’s Kim Baekho, who has everything? Don’t get me wrong – it’s great that he’s managed to make something out of himself despite his circumstances, but it just… it just doesn’t make any sense.” Minseok replied, sounding conflicted. I furrowed my brows.

“How… Have you been stalking him?” I asked, stunned by all of this new information suddenly coming to light.

“I told you I’ve been keeping close tabs on him ever since I recovered from the accident. I wanted to make things right with him someday, only the right time never seemed to come. But seeing him here like this today… how could I not say something to the one man I ever gravely wronged?” Minseok’s voice waivered as he started to grow emotional. He paused for a moment to recollect himself before continuing. “You and I, we’ve both been busy living in our own worlds that I didn’t even know that he had gotten close to you. If I had known that this was the Mr. Kim that you had spoken of, I would have said something earlier.”

“Close?” I asked. Minseok gave me a strange look.

“He’s your boss, isn’t he?” He asked. I awkwardly nodded.

“Y-yeah.” I replied, shifting my gaze downward. That was probably all that was left of our relationship anyways. Minseok finally stood back up beside me. I glanced back up at him. “And what did he say… when you told him?”

“He said he had some forgotten business to attend to and then left.” Minseok replied. I slowly rose out of my chair and carefully stood, my legs wobbling underneath my weight. I glanced at Minseok.

“Let’s do this another time, ok?” I asked him and watched as he silently nodded in return. I slightly bowed my head to him before I turned, walked around the chair and pulled the door open, exiting the room. As I was walking down the long hallway that the hostess had led me through the first time, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. I called Baekho’s number and held my phone up to my ear as I exited the restaurant. There were so many questions I needed to ask him. I needed to know what he thought about all of this and where we still stood, if we even did. I needed to ask him about the accident, about ‘Mr. Kim,’ and about everything else. Who was Kang Baekho? More importantly, who was Kim Baekho, and which one was I seeing? The phone rang several times as I held my left arm out, signaling and waiting for a cab. I was sent to voicemail. I hung up and tried calling again, my heart racing. This time the phone rang twice before I was immediately sent to voicemail again, meaning my call had been rejected. I froze with my phone to my face for a few seconds, stunned. I shook my head as I started to feel myself slip into madness again. Keep yourself together, Ren. Suddenly a cab pulled up and I opened the door. I climbed inside then tried calling again, only this time I was met by the automatic voice message that the user was unavailable. Baekho had turned off his phone.

 

 

JR’s POV

I laid on the couch inside the living room on my stomach, watching one of my favorite anime’s on my tablet to take my mind off the depressing thoughts I had been having ever since I saw Ren hugging Baekho at the Christmas light event at the COEX Mall. Since then I had been on a binging marathon, trying to erase that particular image from my head. I had no reason to be upset, and yet I was. I had let Ren go and he was free to go to whomever he chose. But… I had been desperately hoping it wouldn’t be Baekho, who was as much of a liar as I was. He was pretending to be someone else while still trying to pursue Ren. At least I had always been my true self with him while trying to pursue him. Ren knew JR. He just didn’t know the other part of me, the true Mr. Kim side that I had allowed to be taken away from me. I had also been hoping ever since Dambi had put the idea in my head that Ren might wait for me, although he was certainly not under any obligation to do so. It was just a speck, a glimmer of hope that kept me moving forward, thinking that one day Ren might forgive me for all that I had done. But all of that seemed to vanish the moment I saw them together outside of the mall.

I switched to the next episode as the ending credits started playing across my tablet screen. Since the day before yesterday, aside from binge watching anime, I hadn’t left the apartment. I felt as if I was starting to revert back to my old self, the one that was afraid to step into the outside world out of fear of getting hurt. Dambi had stopped by on Christmas to check on me and had found me in this state, however, rather than scold me, she let me do as I pleased. Normally she would have reminded me that there was still work to be done, but seeing as how I had somewhat literally turned myself into a working machine in the months since disappearing off the grid, most of the work had already been completed. I already had a company office building secured with actual employees, most that had transferred from House of Kim, already working there. All of my designs for my first showcase were sitting in storage, waiting for the big date which was approaching fast. Through the trust and faith of my old talent recruiter, I hired only a handful of new female models, with Dambi, Nana, Raina and Lizzy included who all met on a daily basis to practice. Although my new company didn’t have nearly as many models as House of Kim once had, I didn’t need that many in order to make a statement. I was going to let my talent and experience speak for itself.

I suddenly heard beeping from the outside of my apartment door. I curiously glanced up from the tablet inside of the dark apartment, staring off to the left corner of the living room where the front entrance hallway connected. A few seconds later the door unlocked followed by Dambi rushing in after kicking off her shoes. She flicked the light switch on and I immediately winced. She suddenly walked up to me, tearing the tablet from my hands. I glanced up at her, giving her a questioning look as I waited for her to explain herself.

“We’ve got a big problem.”

“A problem?” I asked, eyeing my tablet longingly. Dambi noticed I had shifted my attention away from her and towards the tablet. She gave off a frustrated sigh then placed it down on the entertainment stand on the other side of the living room.

“Focus!” She scolded me. “I know JR is heartbroken, but right now I need to speak to Jonghyun, the CEO of LOTUS Designs. Are you here with me?” Dambi said with urgency in her voice. I slowly pulled myself from the couch and sat up.

“I’m focused. What’s going on?” I asked, growing more serious now that I knew that it was business matters which Dambi wanted to discuss. “What’s this ‘big problem’?” I couldn’t think of anything that might have gone wrong, especially with everything either completed or near completion.

“It’s Ren.” Dambi replied. I froze when I heard that particular name.

“Did something happen? Is he hurt?” I quickly asked her. Dambi folded her arms across her chest before bringing her right thumb and index finger to her lips, tilting her head to the side looking unsure. Her silence on the matter was beginning to grow unnerving. “Noona.” I urged her.

“I’m not quite sure. But he’s sure as hell frightened.” She replied. I furrowed my brows in confusion.

“Frightened?”

“Something’s going on that we don’t know about, something involving Jason.” Dambi stared down at the ground. “And if I know that bastard as well as I should, it means that he’s back at it again. Look.” She started reaching inside of her purse as she took a seat beside me on the couch. She removed her cellphone and started playing a video that she had taken during Jason’s fashion show that she had told me she would be attending for Aron’s sake. She skipped to the footage of Ren skillfully walking down the runway to an upbeat song.

“What am I supposed to be looking at?” I asked for clarification, clearly not seeing what it was that she had. “It almost looks as if he’s having fun.” I watched as Ren suddenly reached down to the side and grabbed a female audience member’s hand. His performance nearly made her faint back down into her chair. Although it was rather unconventional for a model to do at a show, that wasn’t to say that it never happened. And it certainly didn’t look too out of place for one of JA Style’s fashion shows, where almost everyone in the industry knew that Jason tended to have interesting concepts and he usually let his models have a bit of fun with it.

“Does he? Look at his face.” Dambi insisted. I shifted my focus onto Ren’s face after he rose back up from shaking her hand. There was a brief, uncomfortable look on his face which quickly vanished before he reached the end of the catwalk and smiled. I glanced up at Dambi.

“You’re right.”

“That’s not all. Keep watching.” She insisted. I stared back down at the video on her phone where Ren was making his way back and she happened to catch Jason in the frame. In the actual video Dambi had actually zoomed in on his face, displaying an eerie and almost twisted smile spread upon his lips while he was watching him. I had to look away. I stared down at the floor. Anger suddenly washed through my veins. I clenched my right fist down by my side.

“He threatened from the beginning that he would use Ren to get to me if I didn’t do as he said.” I darkly said. Dambi shook her head.

“I don’t think this is about getting to you so much as getting what he wants out of him.” She clarified. I glanced back at her.

“What do you mean?”

“Think about it. You’ve already done all that he’s asked. You’re done. The show was a success and I bet that by now JA Style stocks have risen to the level of House of Kim. He doesn’t need you anymore, so he’s moved on to his next victim, his next puppet, which is Ren. Ren is currently one of the most top searched models as of late, and I bet if you check it now, people all over the internet are probably talking about how amazing his performance was tonight.”

“Do you think he’s controlling him?” I asked her.

“He has to be. It’s what Jason does best.” Dambi replied, putting her phone away back inside of her purse. She leaned forward with her elbows on her knees and her chin on her palms. “Damn it,” she cursed. “It’s horrible enough that I couldn’t protect myself from him…”

“Nothing is your fault. You know this.” I replied. Dambi shook her head.

“I didn’t stop him.”

“How could you have? He had you cornered.”

“I could have at least tried though.”

“You handled it the best you could have possibly done and with grace.” I reassured her. Dambi glanced over at me through the corners of her eyes. A small, faint smile spread across her lips.

“Thank you, dear.” She whispered back to me before sitting up with a look of determination written on her face. “Now, let’s put a stop to Jason’s antics for good and save Ren.” She replied, turning around to face me. After studying my face for a brief moment she smirked. “… You already know what you’re going to do, don’t you?” She slyly asked. I smirked back at her.

“I’ve been waiting all along for a moment like this.” I replied.

“A moment like this?” She asked, giving me a curious look.

“A good enough reason to strike back… My first of many planned attacks.” I darkly replied.

“And Ren is a good enough reason?” Dambi asked, smiling. I nodded, my face softened.

“He’ll always be a good enough reason.” I said before standing up from the couch and walking over to my special phone, one that had an untraceable number, which was charging near the wall. I unplugged it and started scrolling through my several contacts, stopping and tapping one in particular. It was the number to one of the reporters from Dispatch, a notorious internet media outlet in Korea that unveiled many hidden secrets to the world online. Many people disagreed with the extreme methods their reporters took to write a story or the truths they actually published. It was a celebrity’s worst nightmare to have an article with photo evidence posted about them on the website. But in this case, my case, it was exactly what I wanted. I had received his number several years ago from one of my publicity agents back at House of Kim, when they had found him snooping around my secret office headquarters and apprehended him. He had been trying to uncover the real Mr. Kim’s face and show it to the public first but was unsuccessful, seeing as how I never visited the office myself and none of my employees had actually seen my face for themselves either. I called the number.

“Hello?” A deep voice called out from the other end of the line. I smirked.

“Is this reporter Choi Seungcheol’s phone I’m calling?” I asked.

“Speaking. Who are you and why do you have this number?” He rudely responded.

“Is that any way to speak to someone with a tip?” I asked back, somewhat offended. I heard him snarl and laugh on the other end.

“Is that so, then? What’s your tip?” He asked sarcastically. It was obvious he was only asking because all reporters were expected to look into all tips they had received, not that he was actually interested in whatever it was that I had to say.

“You were the reporter that was thrown off the premises after discovering what you believed to be the secret office of House of Kim and was labeled incompetent and crazy by your coworkers and the internet, aren’t you?” I asked him. He scoffed.

“It’s not a belief, it’s fact! I did find the secret office, but nobody believes me even now that Mr. Kim has officially revealed his face to the public… You couldn’t imagine what that story would have done for my career! Instead it only destroyed it. I’m hanging on by a mere thread these days as it is…” I could hear him slam his fist against his desk. Although I had done nothing wrong in seeking to protect my company and keep my identity hidden from the world, I almost felt guilty for not letting him expose me. But I was going to make that up to him.

“But what if I told you that Mr. Kim did not work alone?” I asked him and was met by a hesitant and uncertain look from Dambi. I turned my back to her, ignoring her.

“What are you saying…?” He suddenly sounded a lot more interested than he had minutes ago.

“What if he had an apprentice?” I asked back. He laughed.

“An apprentice? Yeah, right.” Seungcheol replied in disbelief. I could understand why he would be so skeptical. After all, why would Mr. Kim need an apprentice? But in this case, I was giving him one. Jason wasn’t the only one who could create fictional people and bring them to life. I was going to give him a taste of his own medicine.

“He did have an apprentice.” I lied. “In fact, this apprentice just so happened to be better than himself.” I replied, giving myself an outlet for why my designs for LOTUS Designs would resemble House of Kim’s, only better. I had saved some of the designs from House of Kim that I really wanted to do but never did because they didn’t fit the casual business wear attire.

“No way. Tell me why I should believe someone like you?” He asked me. I ignored his question.

“Rumor has it that this apprentice of his is the currently most talked about designer debuting in Seoul this upcoming month.” I replied. There was a pause on the other end of his line followed by a gasp.

“I’ve heard the rumors of a new designer about to make his debut, but nothing about him being the supposed apprentice of House of Kim’s Mr. Kim… If this is the real deal, this will be big. But wait a minute, how do you know all of this? What makes you and your story credible?” He asked me.

“Because I work for LOTUS Designs. I’ll be leaking the first promo advertisement by sending it to you first. Do with it what you will.” I vaguely replied before hanging up on him. I attached an image of Dambi advertising what was to be the new fashion powerhouse then sent it to his phone. I had given him enough information to start a buzz about me on the internet. Although it was another false story about me, it would be enough to awaken and scare not only Jason, but Baekho too. It would force them to have to deal and face me one more time, whether they liked it or not. I finally turned back around to face Dambi who was sitting back on the couch with her legs crossed and her arms folded. She smirked at me.

“Well, well… look at you. Who is this ever-growing confident stranger I’ve never seen before?” She asked, teasing me.

“Jason’s not going to get away with it anymore. I’m going to make him answer for what he did. I’ll make him pay for hurting Ren.” I darkly replied, ignoring her comment. Although I had conducted myself civilly on the phone, I was still angry.

“As you should.” She said, siding with me.

“I’ll take away everything he ever took from me and then everything he’s built and accomplished for himself.” I replied. Dambi wearily looked at me.

“JR-”

“I asked him not to touch Ren but he went ahead and did it anyway. He obviously doesn’t see me as a threat – a drastic error on his part. I’m not going to sit idly by anymore now that I actually have the power to do something about it.”

“I’m all for revenge. You know I am. Just don’t lose yourself in the process. Remember what all of this is for – to put a stop to Jason’s bullying and teach him a lesson, not for you to become one in return.” Dambi reminded me.

“I’m well aware.” I replied. “But I’m afraid the only way a person like Jason will learn is for him to experience the fear of losing his company as well.” I said as Dambi stood. “I’ll teach him that lesson the hard way. The articles will be out by the morning. Baekho will be forced to come out and make a public appearance to deny or confirm the rumors. Either way, they’ll know it’s me, and Jason will know it’s a declaration of war... And this time I’ll be completely untouchable.”

Dambi patted me on my right shoulder. “Just… be careful.” She replied as she let her hand drop down to her side and started to walk past me and back to the front entrance hallway. Once she reached the front door and started slipping into her shoes I turned around and hurried to the end of the hall.

“Noona, wait…” My voice trailed off. She glanced up at me as she was pulling her last heel over her foot.

“What is it?”

“Watch over him.” I replied, referring to Ren. Dambi paused for a moment before a small smile spread over her lips. She stood up straight and placed both hands on her hips.

“Of course. Way ahead of you.” She replied, still smiling. “Besides, who do you think I’m doing all of this for?” She asked, referring to how she had originally agreed to meet Ren and train him only because I had asked her to. After getting to know him and getting along, the two had naturally become friends.

“Really? I thought you liked him.”

“He’s a good kid. But I also know how much he means to you. That’s why I’ve always helped him and continue to do so. That, and gratitude. As I’ve said before, he’s had a good influence on you. I probably wouldn’t have made so much progress with you if he hadn’t of started pushing and changing you first.”

“And that’s why we have to help him.” I replied. “Not only for my foolish mistakes, but because I personally owe him a lot… and… we were friends…” My voice sadly trailed off. Dambi frowned and gave me a sympathetic look.

“Don’t think about that right now. One step at a time, boss. Now what’s your next move after the press leak?” She asked, trying to distract me from falling into a depression again. I nodded.

“Whatever statement Jason and Baekho decide to make, we will remain silent on the issue until the show. In the meantime, tomorrow we will film the promotional video that is to be played at the opening of LOTUS Designs’ first showcase. I’ll meet with the models tomorrow on location. We’ve got two weeks before our debut. It’s time to start finalizing all the details.” I replied, fully intending on participating on screen with my models. The video would give the world its first glimpse of the designer’s face behind the new mystery, luxury brand. I wasn’t going to be shy and hide anymore. I was going to use my newfound confidence and project it into my company.

“Be careful going outside. Don’t draw any attention to yourself that might give you away as Mr. Kim’s ‘secret apprentice.’” She teasingly replied. I smiled.

“No one except Jason or Baekho will know it’s me, but they’ll probably wait until it’s been confirmed before saying anything to avoid looking like fools.” I reassured her. Dambi loudly sighed.

“Ah, I worry about you so much, kid. Take care.” She said, waving her hand goodbye at me. I walked up to the door and held it open for her.

“Get home safely.” I said, watching her smile and nod before leaving. Once she had disappeared down the hall I closed the door shut then walked back inside my living room. I grabbed the tablet that Dambi had taken from me earlier then flopped back down on my stomach on the couch. I started a new episode. Despite the fact that I was physically watching, my mind was elsewhere. I couldn’t stop thinking about that eerie video that Dambi had showed me of Jason watching an uncomfortable looking Ren walk down the runway. It struck a nerve with me, particularly because it meant that Jason was controlling him, probably the same way he had managed to control me. He wormed his way in by becoming his friend, making him appealing promises and then manipulating him. Sadly, I couldn’t say that I didn’t see this coming. That’s why I had a place reserved for Ren and all of this set up. Although it would take some time, once the full effect hit, it would render Jason powerless.

Two weeks… That’s all I’m asking for now, Ren. Until then, just please, hold on…