Onew POV

"I don't wanna go back there...."

“Why not!? It’s out last year!”

“Graduation just means growing up. And I’m not ready.”

“You’re ready as you could ever be, Onew-yah.”

Onew intently watched the window, staring at his reflection (which stood out at night) in the pure, stain-free glass. He didn’t recognize the guy staring back at him. The guy in the window was older, stronger, built. He was grown. No longer the chubby cheeked boy that he was so familiar with in the 9^th grade.

“I think I’m gonna be sick.”

“You’ll do fine.” Jonghyun reassured his buddy over the phone. “Tomorrow is just the beginning of a nine-month routine of something you’ve been doing for nearly 13 years. You got this. Don’t crack now.”

“I’ve been cracking since I started high school. You remember me calling you.”

“I do; but now’s different. Senior year is always different. Relax and get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“…alright.”

Onew sighed when Jonghyun clicked off.

It was nearly 10:00 at night and Onew still didn’t feel like sleeping, though he knew he needed to. Jonghyun’s words echoed in his head.

“Tomorrow is just the beginning of nine-month routine of something you’ve been doing for nearly 13 years. You got this. Don’t crack now.”

Onew held his chest. He could feel his heart pumping rapidly. Just the thought of growing up killed him; he wanted to be a kid forever, or just stay home and take care of his mother for the rest of his life. He didn’t want to go to college, get a career and work on his own. Start a family? Maybe—but what came after it gave him chills. Children to take care of, stress pounding on he and his future wife, divorce, living alone—he couldn’t be left alone! He already began to get light headed.

I should really get some sleep.

Onew laid his head on his pillow and stared at the ceiling. His thoughts naturally took over his mind.

My friends and I only have one school year until we graduate.

That means college. Responsibilities. No more mom being around you all the time, helping you out when you need it.

I’m going to be all by myself.

All by myself…..

Onew sat up. He couldn’t keep thinking that way. He had to think positively if he was going to keep from having a panic attack, if he wanted to sleep.

Clearing his mind, Onew relaxed himself and went in again to grasp his sleep. He was asleep before he knew it.

The next day Onew had his bag over his shoulder filled with books that weighed him down, his regular old school uniform on, and a frown that nearly took up his entire face. He looked back at the car that had taken him to the building that he dreaded, peeking at the driver.

“Have a nice day, I love you!” His mother yelled to him in their native tongue, earning stares from the small amount of kids going into the building who didn’t speak it.

Onew silently waved with a slight smile, before watching his mom drive away into the sunrise. Since today was his first day back, she agreed to drive him, though he was pretty much a somewhat fair walking distance away from the school.

Onew turned back around and walked up the shallow steps, his thoughts taking over again.

I can’t believe how much I don’t wanna be here.

Why can’t I just go home!?

Maybe if I—

BAM!

Onew was knocked from his thoughts by a huge blow to the back. Before he got a chance to respond, arms were wrapped around his stomach and squeezing him breathless.

A shriek left Onew’s mouth and he began to violently kick and flail his arms.

“Onew-hyung! HYUNG! Calm down! It’s me!” the voice burst into laughter.

Onew looked down at the hands that had him captured. They were long and skinny. He’d recognize those hands anywhere….

“Minho!” Onew forcefully pushed himself out of Minho’s grip and scowled at him. “Why did you do that!?”

Minho mischievously sneered and another voice was heard from behind him.

“I’ve never heard you scream like that, hyung! Minho-hyung got you good!” A figure appeared behind Minho and Onew recognized him as his other friend.

“Shut up, Taemin!”

Taemin stuck his tongue out at Onew. “Mehrong!”

Onew rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Where are Jonghyun and Key?”

“They aren’t here yet,” Minho said while letting Taemin place his arms around his neck for a piggy back ride. The two were always this close with each other, so it didn’t bother Onew. “But they’re on their way…well…Key is…” Taemin hopped onto his back and smiled when Minho could support him.

“I heard my name!”

The three boys looked towards the sidewalk and saw the tall dark-haired boy strutting down the school walkway in a white v-neck shirt covered by a dark jean-jacket with gold seams and buttons, black skinny jeans and a black and white polka dotted satchel, bottomed off with stunning black Vans Ski-8 Hi platform shoes. When he arrived in front of his friends, he fixed his black winter hat that had “homeboy” written across the seam and adjusted his thick non-prescription glasses.

Taemin giggled. “Hi hyung!”

Minho nodded towards him. “Hey Kibum.”

Key acknowledged the both of them with a hair flip. “Hey Taeminnie, Minho. Do you like my bag?” He flashed it. “I made it yesterday. Gotta look good for the hood.”

Onew scrunched his eyebrows. “What?”

Key shrugged. “I don’t know I just heard it somewhere.”

Onew scoffed and touched Key’s bag, cringing at the polka dots. It looked expensive and store bought.

“Really? A polka-dotted bag? This is why people think you’re gay,” Onew scolded, remembering the gay rumors that were spread as soon as they entered the ninth grade. A white girl had started them. She thought they were funny at first, but soon felt guilty when it spread like wildfire. Everyone, including teachers and staff knew about the rumor and it caused uproar in Key’s circle of friends outside of Onew and the others, who taunted her until she decided to change schools. Now, no one really acknowledges the rumor, but a few people still have it in their minds by the way they stare Key down whenever he passes.

Though throughout the entire ordeal, Onew thought it was interesting that Key never once was asked if the rumors were true.

Key shrugged. “As long as I’m still seen as a person, I’m good.”

Before Onew could retort with anything, they heard yet another voice.

“Hey guys!”

They all turned around and saw Jonghyun pacing towards them, soon increasing his speed to light jogging in order to catch up to them.

“Hi Jongie,” Key cooed and hugged him.

“Hi hyung!” Taemin, who was still on Minho’s back, shouted and peeked from behind Minho’s hair.

Minho nodded at Jonghyun and bounced Taemin upward to keep him from sliding off his back.

Jonghyun snickered and said his hellos to everyone.

“Everyone ready for the first day?”

Key scoffed. “I’m ready for the first day alright...the first day it becomes legal for me to commit mass genocide. I hate everyone in the school.”

Minho frowned. “You don’t mean that Key.”

Key shot a glance at Minho. Minho gulped. “Never mind.”

Jonghyun laughed and lifted his shirt sleeve to check his watch. “Damn, my watch is dead. Do you guys know what time it is?”

Key whipped out his phone in a flash. “It’s almost 7:20.”

Jonghyun picked his bag up from the ground. “We should start heading in. I don’t know how they’re going to work this first day…”

Reluctantly, the rest of them agreed and went inside of the building.

Once inside, instant memories hit Onew. He remembered his memories of freshman year, his first time going to a school that wasn’t primarily Korean. Though there are other Korean guys and girls at the school, he remembered the culture shock he had when he was surrounded by mainly white people (blacks following close behind them) along with other foreign ethnicities, and hearing different accents and native languages spoken between friends.

It was like a rainbow in a building.

Climbing up a few steps, Onew separated from his group of friends, made it to his locker and put in his books. He hooked his new combination lock in the hole and closed it with a satisfying click. He checked the school clock for the time.

It was only half-past seven. Classes officially started at 8.

Onew knew he had at most 25 minutes to himself.

Thank God…

The tall brunette-blonde slid to the floor with his back pressed against his locker. He immersed himself in thoughts of happiness to try and calm his nerves, but instead, it just made him sleepy.

Before he knew it, the late bell rang and he was running down the hallway.

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Author's note:

For anyone who doesn't know:

Hyung: "older brother" in Korean. It is what a guy calls another guy that is older than him. Most commonly used between siblings and friends as a form of respect.

Mehrong: A sound Korea believes is made when sticking your tongue at someone.

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