There were flowers, Eunjung noticed. There were shrubs of flowers they passed as she guided Jiyeon through the maze of greenery towards their humble cabin. It was a beautiful sight to behold, to have seen them bloom. Jiyeon wrapped her free hand around her arm, her other still holding onto hers intertwined. A sigh escapes her lips and she wondered how this happiness would last her. Everything seemed perfect.

She wanted the best for her, she wanted to make the best out of the moment. She wanted to hurry and run towards the cabin but at the same time she wanted to take her time. Eunjung wanted this moment to last a little longer. It was simple really, she had Jiyeon in her arm and hold as they went on the leisure hike back to their cabin. Subtle glances, smiles on their faces. It was everything she could have hoped for.

This was a date they could have had before, long overdue from the separation. But as the light slowly fades away, the memory of the airplanes and restaurants had her wondering. She turns to Jiyeon, but her lips couldn’t speak.

There was the restaurant, her dreams, they were waiting for her. Life in the kitchen was exciting, life with Jiyeon was everything. But how could she choose? How could she choose right at this moment when she’s already chosen before she even arrived?

“I need you, in this kitchen, Eunjung,” Chef Paulbert had said to her as her thoughts drifted back to last week.

He is guiding them on their way to another Michelin star and this time she was going to be at the forefront, he promised. Sous chef.

“Under one condition,” she said.

Paulbert was getting desperate, he was ready to relent the moment she had said, “A raise and give me five days.”

“I’ll even triple it but I’ll give you two days, that’s it.”

Eunjung took it, it was the only time she could go away for a little but she knew, she’d have to put her best foot forward as she turns a new leaf in her career.

There was a ticket waiting for her in her backpack, tomorrow, was going to be a new day. The day after that, is another beginning. But this—she thought as she looked towards Jiyeon—this should not have an end.

This, what they have, needed a beginning.

Eunjung couldn’t even begin to think that she had a return flight tomorrow night. It was one thing she couldn’t tell Jiyeon yet. She couldn’t even as they arrived to the cabin.

There was so much longing in her eyes as she watched Jiyeon turn into the bathroom, leaving her with the pile of wood they had brought inside. It was something Jiyeon had failed to see, that second of uncertainty.

All she could have done was feed the dwindling fire with more wood so she could start on dinner.

Tomorrow night, she’d have to go back to New York. She didn’t exactly plan to stay long, nor did she prepare that much. She still has responsibilities to face and a job waiting for her.

That was one thing she had initially wanted to forget. She had forgotten about it for a while but the moment she saw how the shadows slowly cast over them as they walked back to the cabin, Eunjung was reminded of the impending departure.

She never expected for night to come by so fast, that she would be lighting the lamps soon, and dinner needed to be made. Time was ticking and she wanted more of it. She was greedy, yes, but she couldn’t help herself. They ultimately had a deadline.

How come the day just had to pass by so quickly today? How come it didn’t seem enough, she wonders.

She didn’t feel like leaving. She didn’t want to leave at all, she realizes.

There wasn’t supposed to be anything making her this uncertain about her decision but she knew in the end she wouldn’t really go back on her word, especially when she’s the one who promised.

The least she could have done was prepare something worthwhile for dinner but she didn’t. She didn’t even prepare so much, to think she’s a chef.  She faced the canned goods, potatoes with a sigh. She brought a bar of butter, a small container of salt and pepper. She had a small carton of milk too.

She has Jiyeon tonight and that should be enough for now, even if tomorrow comes, which she still dreads.

Mentally cheering herself on, Eunjung decides it was best to forget about it. She wasn’t going to be upset all night and ruin everything with Jiyeon here. She was going to make this trip memorable despite it turning into a surprise, despite it being too short. For almost two years, she had went on without her best friend and without her wife, nothing was going to stop her.

Eunjung proceeds to take out everything she needed. Jiyeon had brought some food, most of them in cans and she could make something delicious out of all this. It wasn’t much; a can of soup, canned tuna and the likes.

Even though she was previously upset and in doubt, Eunjung was still determined to have dinner ready. She had lit up the lamps she found, immediately changing the whole mood of the cabin as warm, intimate colors painted inside.

The fire danced, casting shadows on the walls as the sun slowly set upon the cabin and the peace only broken by the pots and pans Eunjung was handling.

It was then that Jiyeon had come out of the bathroom, immediately hiding under the covers for some warmth, watching every move.

“Dinner’s gonna be ready in five,” Eunjung says, smiling her way, stirring the pot.

“What are you making?”

“The asparagus soup you brought, made some mashed potatoes, canned tuna with vegetables,” Eunjung drawled, pointing at each dish with a grin. “It’s all I could do with all these canned food and soup. I’m gonna save the rest tomorrow. It’s not like we have much going on anyway.”

“You don’t have to make everything with vegetables, I was vegan but I did say I broke the diet,” Jiyeon pointedly says.

“Still, I just thought I should make some for you, I’m sure most of the food you eat have vegetables more than meat even if you broke the diet,” Eunjung says.

This was one of the things that endeared Jiyeon about Eunjung. She could only look on in appreciation for Eunjung for being so considerate. They’ve only talked about it for a while yet here she was adjusting everything to fit her needs. Whatever did she do to deserve someone like Eunjung? Well, she would never really know. She was definitely lucky, though she was quite excited to return the favor.

With the dishes now cooked and served, Eunjung calls her out, pulling on the chair with a grin that Jiyeon excitedly got out of the bed for. But before heading to the table, Jiyeon takes out a bottle of wine she had brought all along from her backpack, and places it on the table.

“You really brought a bottle of wine,” Eunjung says in disbelief, Jiyeon’s eyes turning into arches as she laughs.

“Couldn’t help it. I was told that I needed to relax, and what’s relaxation without a bottle of wine?”

Eunjung could only laugh, taking the bottle in her hands and popping it open. Jiyeon had gotten glasses out, seemingly impressed to even have two wine glasses and quickly washes them before she joined Eunjung at the table. It almost felt like that familiar domestication they experienced in their short, married life.

It was very much like that but this was just a bit different, because this was a weekend getaway. A weekend getaway they both wanted to last.

“So,” Eunjung begins, picking on her share of food, watching Jiyeon from the corner of her eyes as they ate in silence, “So tell me more.”

“About what this time?”

“What else did you do aside from hiking, cooking and being a vegan?” Eunjung says before taking a large forkful of food.

Jiyeon looks up from her plate, swallowing the food she just ate, saying, “work.”

Eunjung eyes Jiyeon with an incredulous look on her face, “seriously?”

“Well not really,” Jiyeon chuckles. “Other than those times you mentioned, sometimes I meet up with our friends and all that, it’s not much. Most of the time I get lost in so much work but I take some time off when I can.”

“That’s good,” Eunjung nods with a grin. “Speaking of, how’s the gang?”

“They’re good. If you want details, recently, Hwayoung got fired but wasn’t too bummed about it. Qri was furious, of course, since Hwayoung just bought this BMW a few months back, so Hwayoung’s trying to get a job now to help pay the bills,” Jiyeon tells, Eunjung chuckling as she ate. “Boram and Soyeon, who have been looking into adoption since last year are obviously gonna have a baby really soon and it’s going to be a baby girl.”

“They’re going to have a family now,” Eunjung gasps, her eyes wide in disbelief.

“Yeah, it’s about time for them. They’ve been wanting this for so long. Even Qri wants to start too but you know how Hwayoung’s been a bit reluctant especially with Qri’s schedule and all,” Jiyeon says, then eating her food.

Eunjung nods, somehow turning quiet at the mention of family, her eyes never leaving Jiyeon as she drank some wine. It had been a while but Eunjung never forgot how they talked about not having a baby right away. Now that they’re here, she knew not to ask anything about it.

Having a family together had long been pushed back, to the very back. They had spent their time far apart that they hadn’t really thought about a life together as much.

Soyeon and Boram having a family, and soon she knew Qri might be able to convince her wife. Before, when they married, all they ever really saw was how people around them get hitched. But now, their group of friends, even their college friends, even her former flings have families.

Yet here she was, with a career, alone even if Jiyeon was with her. It might take them a while to even get to that point with them back to the start, yet there was no going turning back.

Jiyeon seemed to have thought the same.

“I see everyone’s been busy with that,” Eunjung mumbles, distracting herself with finishing her food.

Jiyeon nods mindlessly. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“What did you do?”

“Other than work, I just work out. I don’t really have all the time with my job. Sometimes I work 12 to 14 hours, you know how our work hours are crazy. Then I take the subway, take a bus and then walk just to get to my apartment. That doesn’t give me much room for anything else, I’d be dead beat. In my free time, I read, head to every market I could find, research, and then I cook, or I go out to the gym,” Eunjung listlessly narrates.

“For two years?” Jiyeon wondered with a frown.

“Yeah, for almost two years,” Eunjung says with a smile that couldn’t reach her eyes.

“But you did enjoy it, right?” Jiyeon softly asks and nonetheless, Eunjung nods.

“Yeah, you could say that,” she says with a shrug.

“Didn’t you go out and hang out with friends or see some people?”

“The only guy I’d probably really hung out with is this chef in the restaurant who’s a little older than we are. His name’s Jonathan and the most exciting thing we’ve probably ever really done was to chase this food truck just to try their famous burger. Other than that, nothing else, we’d just hang out for some grub after work and head to our respective apartments,” Eunjung says with a chuckle. “Other than work I sound pretty lame.”

“You didn’t even go out on dates or anything?” Jiyeon wonders out loud, genuinely curious.

Eunjung shakes her head, staring back at Jiyeon’s curious eyes with a soft smile, “I didn’t need to see anyone else.”

Jiyeon didn’t know what else to say to that as she went on with her dinner. She knew what that meant, clearly it meant something. Of course, her mind was going haywire and the butterflies were back and morphing into freaking large elephants galloping in her stomach. A smile was hidden from view, trying to eat it away with the food Eunjung had made for her. What else was she to say to that when she couldn’t even get her insides to unknot?

“Did you need to see anyone else?”

Her tentative voice had snapped Jiyeon out of her thoughts, looking up to see Eunjung playing with her food. She seemed a bit reluctant, her tone just dripping with curiosity.

However, that question, Jiyeon wasn’t sure Eunjung was ready to hear the answer to. The elephants in her stomach had went out to stand and have become bright neon elephants in the room.

Jiyeon whimpers to herself, already beating herself in her mind. She should have known that Eunjung wouldn’t. She should have known in the beginning that Eunjung still saw them together somehow. But when Eunjung left she thought it had long been over. She never called, she never knew how to reach her, heck she didn’t even know where Eunjung was.

“So have you?” Eunjung had asked again after a minute of tense silence, looking at Jiyeon’s stiff form before her.

For once Eunjung was actually afraid that she said it so soon, her expressing her hopes for them being together. But the longer she stares at Jiyeon for a clue, the more her heart pounded, nervous, only to see something else she might not have been willing to accept.

And all the bad vibes she was getting had come out as Jiyeon went on to confirm saying, “Yeah.”

“O-oh, really?” Eunjung gasps out, putting on a smile desperately trying to hide how she must have felt in that moment.

“I…have,” Jiyeon had seen the hurt flash in her eyes, and guilt already gripped her by the neck. She could not even say any more.

She might have regretted not telling Eunjung that sooner, but how would she have told her. They were separated, leading different lives. She didn’t regret ever dating someone else because it made her realize that no one—not anyone—could have easily replaced Eunjung in her life. But that wasn’t what she could say right now, not when they were still on uneasy grounds.

There was silence once again as they went on to finish the last of their dinner.

Eunjung didn’t know what else to say when her mind had shut down on her. The hope was long extinguished and the burning started inside. It was awkward to have known that, after doing all those things back at the stream, her shamelessly holding her hand and making sure this dinner look ‘romantic’.

Eunjung had wanted to hit herself on the head for not even considering that Jiyeon might be seeing someone. For not even considering the possibility that Jiyeon had truly moved on with someone else.

How could she have expected so much of her presence without thinking about that? Without thinking about the possible presence of another man or woman in Jiyeon’s life. Two years may not be that much of a long time, but it was long enough to have someone else and move forward.

“You okay?”

Eunjung lets out a breath a she forcefully laughs, looking out the window sipping on her wine, “I’m okay.”

But it wasn’t okay, Jiyeon knew, Eunjung was having a hard time taking that in. She would have been too if she was in her shoes.

“I understand,” Eunjung whispers, drinking from the glass of wine in her hands again as they sat in silence. She then nods, repeating her words louder saying, “I completely understand. I’m sorry.”

That had left Jiyeon with questions as Eunjung stood to clear their plates. Dinner was done and it wasn’t what both of them had expected as the cabin turned quiet and the only sounds they could hear was the fire cracking and the trees rustling from the wind that passed.

Jiyeon took over Eunjung at the sink, opting to wash the dishes in silent agreement. Eunjung wasn’t one to argue with that. But the air was thick with tension that Eunjung had went outside at the patio, in the cold, taking the bottle of wine and her glass, leaving French doors opened with Jiyeon drowned in her thoughts.

Eunjung quickly refill the wine glass, almost filling it up to the brim before placing the bottle on the ground as she then went to prop herself on the patio’s wooden railings. She should’ve thought of that happening but it really had burned deep when she did. She could never blame Jiyeon for that, for seeing other people. After all she left without a number to call and without the intention to be found. In about two or three more months, it would have been exactly two years since they ‘broke up’, apparently.

She understood that. That moment she left, she knew of that possibility ever happening.

She knew it could happen. They didn’t talk about breaking up completely but the thought was there, it was clear that they’d let the chips fall where they may. She should have known. She shouldn’t feel so upset about this but she did.

Eunjung knew it was clear from the very beginning. There was nothing set in stone, except for them living separately. There hadn’t been reassurances of the other coming back, nor did Eunjung have much plans on that really.

It was only some time ago when she had thought that she should be contented not having Jiyeon around for the rest of her life.

It was only some time ago that she even thought of focusing on her career and let Jiyeon go completely.

Jiyeon must have thought the same…Jiyeon tried when she couldn’t.

-

Jiyeon watches Eunjung leaning against the patio railing, sipping on her wine, with a frown. She tried to see how much have gone wrong with a question like that. Answering it was inevitable but as much as she hoped Eunjung to accept that, she didn’t seem to be taking it well as Jiyeon thought she would.

Something propels her from taking that step forward, swallowing a lot of her pride. She didn’t want things to go this way when it was going so well. It was beyond well, everything had been perfect for her, the impending reconciliation was close…then she upset her.

She didn’t mean for Eunjung to be upset. But did Eunjung really understand? In the first place, what was she getting so upset for when they were separated? It couldn’t be just about her seeing someone in her absence, Jiyeon thought hard. It couldn’t be just that.

Did Eunjung think she was still with her ex?

The light in Jiyeon’s head had , finally understanding what might have gone wrong; where exactly she went wrong. She never really went on to clarify anything.

She takes her best foot forward, ready to tackle the issue head first. There was no way in hell this night would end this way. Over my dead body, she vowed to herself as she made way through the French doors and out to the small patio, standing closely beside Eunjung with arms leaning against the rails, adamant on fixing this.

They were so close to a clear reconciliation. Close to being together once and for all and Jiyeon wanted that.

Jiyeon’s eyes had closed tightly for a minute trying to carve this moment into her memory, a fear creeping up deep inside that the moment they leave, they wouldn’t go back to how it was before…that they wouldn’t be together again. And she wanted to keep this memory with her if they wouldn’t come out of this the way they wanted it to. Even if in the end they wouldn’t be together, she’ll understand.

In the quiet of the night, Jiyeon had wished for Eunjung to be with her.

But it was clearer no how they want to come out of this alive, that they wanted to be together. They want that chance and Jiyeon was here, standing beside her, waiting for her to accept that chance they once let go. Eunjung was just too stubborn to acknowledge her presence, sipping on her wine and upset about something Jiyeon thought was just funny. Well, she wanted to blame herself for this slight miscommunication; for not saying any more that Eunjung needed to know.

She could only sigh to herself.

The silence they shared wasn’t broken until Jiyeon had impatiently blurted out, “Aren’t you going to ask me anything else?”

“No,” came the clear reply.

“Are you sure?” Jiyeon had asked.

“What else am I supposed to say?” Eunjung asks out exasperatedly. “Should I ask you when the date of the wedding is or something?”

There it was, the truth dripping with jealousy. Jiyeon bites back a smile from painting her face. She wanted to laugh, really. She wanted to sigh in relief that she was right about that. Eunjung hadn’t changed much, she was still very much the jealous and possessive wife, and it was impossible for Jiyeon not to feel…ecstatic. That was the only word for it.

“No, maybe you should start by asking if I’m still with her,” Jiyeon says, wishing Eunjung would take a hint.

Eunjung took a hint alright. In fact, she was dumbfounded to have been jumping to conclusions again. She groans out, palming her face. “Oh God. You said you have. I thought you meant that you have someone…”

“I have seen someone,” Jiyeon says, realizing her mistake.

“This is embarrassing. I was about to cry,” Eunjung grumbles to herself, looking away.

Sniff.

Jiyeon was taken aback as Eunjung looks away, probably wiping the tears she had held. But there was the relief she saw as Eunjung glances towards her, embarrassed pink from her assumptions.

“I didn’t think you’d misunderstand,” Jiyeon whispers with a chuckle.

“Damn it,” she mutters to herself again for being an idiot for a second there. Then she went on blurting out, “Did you like her though?”

“Yes,” Jiyeon was going to be honest about that.

“Did you love her?” Eunjung asks again, her heart still pounding in her chest. It was practically dying to get out of her. Her heart had morphed into a caged beast ever since they started this conversation, she almost couldn’t hold herself. Heck, she almost cried.

“No.”

“Oh.”

The quick and honest answer brought a smile to Eunjung’s face, somehow relieved to know that. There was another spark of hope. She didn’t want to assume again but it was easy to think that Jiyeon still has feelings for her and not the other woman.

Jiyeon had seen that smile on her face, that idiotic grin that was just too hard for Eunjung to hide. And she had thought, she didn’t really want for Eunjung to feel like she didn’t want her. There really was a lot they needed to talk about and she wasn’t going to make that same mistake again by not clarifying things.

One thing she learned about everything that happened is communication. If they’d either be screaming it out, sobbing it out, or talk about it like rational, mature adults, at least they were letting it out, how they thought, how they felt. If she feared they wouldn’t get back together, she knew this was her chance to prevent that.

She’ll prevent it with all that she could and the way to do that was to be honest too.

“I just wanted to see other people for a change, it seemed to be a really good idea at that t