Important Note.

Before you read the update, it is a need for you to read this so you won’t wonder too much.

I’m going through something right now. As much as I prevented ‘hiatus/abandonment’, this story has to wait. I’m going to be away and I can’t update as often and I fear it might take too long, for more than a month or two or longer. I do sincerely apologize. But to make up for it, here is a teaser.

FOURTEEN

No…no I can’t.

She shakes her head in panic.

I can’t like her.

Burying her face in her palms, she thought, I can’t like anyone!

Just as a tear fell…I can’t like a girl!

I CAN’T!

“Stop it, Eunjung,” she murmured to herself. “Stop, it’s a sin! You like that guy, not the girl!”

Eunjung whimpers, grabbing her hair in frustration. “You don’t like Alison, you like her brother Andrew!”

“Mom said you’d go to hell. I can’t go to hell,” she muttered to herself. “Mom said it’s in the bible…it’s in the bible, it’s a sin!”

Oh God, please help me.

Ad as if her plea had been heard, a voice yelled, “No, it’s not!”

Eunjung jumps in fright, looking towards the small door. She couldn’t help look away, her frustration worsening every minute she had hidden in her best friend’s tree house. The appearance of Hyomin crawling somewhat angrily through the door, made Eunjung whimper in fear.

She swore no one would find her. Not even her crush, Alison, who had just kissed her.

She didn’t intend for it to happen!

She didn’t want to!

But then that girl…she just kissed her.

And it felt good, too good. It was even better than her first kiss, because this time, she like ‘liked’ the girl who kissed her.

But it was wrong!

So wrong, too wrong…

“I should have stopped her!” Eunjung exclaims, defending herself as Hyomin kneels before her shaking figure. “Mom can’t find out. She’ll ground me again if she hears me saying things like this. It’s wrong.”

“Eunjung, I like girls too, do you think I’m wrong?” Hyomin softly asks but Eunjung couldn’t answer. Eunjung was too busy in her thoughts, mumbling in fear. Eunjung couldn’t listen. “Stop freaking out!”

Eunjung looks up inquisitively at Hyomin’s outburst, somewhat baffled. “How can I not, I’m gonna go to hell!”

“No, you’re not,” Hyomin grunts, pulling on Eunjung’s hands. “Do what I’m gonna tell you.”

“What?”

“Just do what I’m going to say,” Hyomin demanded, squeezing on her best friend’s hands. “Now, don’t pretend with me.”

Eunjung shakes her head vehemently, “No, I—”

“Is your mom here?” Hyomin asks, gesturing around the small tree house.

Eunjung shakes her head. “No, but she might find out that someone, a girl, kissed me.”

“She’s not here, so why pretend,” Hyomin asks.

“No, I ca—”

“Close your eyes,” Hyomin sternly says. Eunjung looks up to her best friend’s eyes, unsure yet trusting as a wave of calm slowly wraps around her, like a blanket on a cold night or a chilly wind on a hot summer’s day.

Just Hyomin staring at her with such ease and encouragement gave Eunjung some time to breathe, to truly breathe and slowly get rid of the mask she had put on. It wasn’t the first time Eunjung ever saw Hyomin showing such strength. After all, Hyomin knew how to express what she cannot. That only meant Hyomin had been more than she could ever be.

Sometimes she felt jealous, because even when Hyomin was constantly being teased about being ‘dyke’ despite her feminine appearance, Hyomin never once denied it. Instead she always held her head up high despite the tears in her eyes.

Now that she was facing her worse fears, with her fears coming in forms of her female interest kissing her, Hyomin comes along. She didn’t want to be found, breaking down in panic. But Hyomin may have had it worse and who was she to question her best friend’s demands now, considering that?

“Please, just close your eyes for me,” Hyomin whispers, her tone reassuring, almost begging and Eunjung couldn’t, for the life of her, deny her best friend that.

So then, she closed her eyes.

The grip on her hand tightened, and warmth spread her cheeks as she felt Hyomin’s soft lips lingering there, sending slight tingles from her cheek to her stomach. Her heart pounded at the action.

Her hands felt sweaty.

She could feel herself shaking.

Another kiss made its way to her other cheek, sending somewhat unrecognizable feelings coursing through her being until the world stops.

It literally stops as the she expectantly waited for their lips to touch.

Her heart jack hammered on her ribcage, practically begging to be let out.

She could feel herself turn cold.

And when she didn’t feel anything coming, she opened her eyes to see Hyomin was smiling brightly at her.

“Hyomin,” Eunjung idiotically mumbles.

“I’m all you see right now, I’m all you feel, so be yourself when you’re with me.”

FIFTEEN

“Eunjung!”

Before she could even turn towards the familiar voice, she was pushed back by a force nearly knocking her over if not for the dainty arms wrapping around her. A smile draws her face the moment the sweet smell of flowers engulfs her senses, and as soon as it came, it had gone. Her best friend’s face came to her sight, worry in her eyes tried to be hidden by the soft smile on her lips.

The heartbreaking picture of her best friend’s conflicting emotions and uncertainty flashing in her eyes made Eunjung frown with worry.

“What’s wrong,” she asked, kicking away the bike she had long forgotten she was dragging along the neighborhood.

Hyomin instantly shakes her head, looking down in somewhat embarrassment from her rash actions. It wasn’t that much of a big deal, but she didn’t want to be the cause of anyone’s worries, not for her parents, not for her neighbors, not for her best friend Jiyeon and most certainly not for Eunjung.

“You’re alone again,” Eunjung murmured, reading her thoughts upon instinct. And within a heartbeat, Hyomin had jumped even closer to her, taking her hand in hers. All Hyomin’s uncertainty had been immediately thrown out the window as Eunjung let her hold on her hand.

“I thought your mom was staying home today?”

“She had to rush back to work,” she whispers, a smile on her face made Eunjung realize that her best friend was once again putting on a brave front.

“You don’t have to pretend; you’re not okay,” Eunjung sincerely says. “You didn’t let me pretend. So don’t fake it when you’re with me either.”

As sad and lonely tears broke out of her initial façade, that moment, Hyomin had realized, she can count on Eunjung…always.

SIXTEEN

“You kept this picture,” she wistfully says at the sight of three younger versions of themselves, innocent as they were, smiling happily at the camera in their swimwear; Eunjung being in the middle with Jiyeon daintily holding on her left arm and Hyomin nuzzling her cheek against her on her right.

Happy and naïve they were back then at the age of ten. Hyomin smiles at the memory of the inflatable pool at the Park’s backyard; Hyojoon, Jiyeon’s elder brother, aiming a water gun at the three clueless smiling girls from the back, and Sean, Eunjung’s adopted younger brother looking eagerly at the pool in only his Spiderman trunks.

Eunjung glances at her best friend with a smile, carefully tucking in another sweater in her backpack before zipping the bag. It took a while for her to pack, but that’s better than not having to prepare at all, especially when they were heading to the forest to camp. She made a mental note to the other essentials she needed to take care of as she turns to Hyomin again.

“Why in the world is this here,” Hyomin exclaims with a scowl, pointing at the picture in one of Eunjung’s photo albums. “I look hideous!”

Eunjung carefully inspects the picture. It was a picture of them just two years prior. Jiyeon looked normal, younger; yes, innocent; of course. She, herself looked quite awkward, with her then, really long hair, and the half-hearted grin that made her look constipated. If in ano